Sworn to Silence (9 page)

He stares at me, as stoic and silent as a statue.

“If I don’t stop this son of a bitch, he’ll kill again.”

Jacob winces at my language, and a small, twisted sense of satisfaction ripples through me. “Do not bring your English ways into my home.”

“This has nothing to do with Amish or English,” I snap. “This has to do with saving lives. You stick your head in the sand and more people could die. Is that what you want?”

My brother drops his gaze to the dirt floor, the muscles in his jaws clenching. When he raises his eyes to mine, they seem ancient. “For sixteen years, I have asked God for His forgiveness. I have tried to forget what we did.”

“You mean what
I
did, don’t you?”

“What all of us did.”

The barn falls silent, as if in reverence to the secret that’s been revealed. I knew he would be reluctant, that I would have to push. But I hadn’t anticipated a refusal.

Words I need to say stick in my throat like a dull razor blade. I can feel the veins pulsing in my neck. My cheeks growing hot. I remind myself that I’m a cop working a case. But deep inside, I’m still a child cowering from unfathomable brutality. A girl crushed by secrets no one should have to bear. A teenager shocked by her own capacity for violence.

“If you go to hell it won’t be because of what you did that day.” My voice quivers. “But because of what you didn’t do today.”

“I will be judged only by God, not you.”

A hot rush of anger propels me to him. I can hear my teeth grinding, the blood roaring like a freight train in my head. “If he kills again, you’ll have another death on your conscience. An innocent woman will suffer unspeakable torture before her throat is cut. Think about that tonight when you’re trying to sleep.”

Dark emotions thrash inside me as I spin and start toward the door. I want to crush the pretty mailboxes and birdhouses my brother has so painstakingly built. I want to lash out and hurt him, the same way he is hurting me. I cling to control, telling myself I can do this on my own.

I hit the barn door with the heels of both palms and send it flying open. I’m midway down the path when I hear Jacob’s voice behind me.

“Katie.”

Under any other circumstance, I’d keep going. Or revile him with a few choice words that would illuminate just how far I’ve strayed from my Amish roots. I stop and turn only because I’m desperate. Because I’m scared. Because I don’t want anyone else to die.

“I will do it.” He utters the words, but his eyes tell me it is with profound reluctance. “I will help you.”

The words bring hot tears to my eyes. Emotions I don’t want to feel rise inside me. Because I don’t want him to see those vulnerabilities, I turn away and continue on toward my vehicle in the driveway.

“I’ll pick you up after dark,” I say over my shoulder, and leave him staring after me.

The curtains at the kitchen window part as I slide into the Explorer. I see Irene in her plain dress and
kapp,
standing in her overheated kitchen. I think of my nephews, and I suddenly feel depressed. Irene waves, but I pull away without responding. Not because I don’t want to, but because I can’t.

I can breathe again as I zip down the lane at a too-fast clip. Only then does the breadth and width of the situation grip me. I’m frightened of my secrets and the lengths I’ll go to keep them. I’m afraid of what my brother and I will or will not find in the grain elevator tonight. But, it is the thought that I won’t be able to stop this killer before he strikes again that fills me with terror.

I call T.J. on my way to Connie Spencer’s apartment. He answers with a rough. “ ’Lo?”

“It’s me,” I say, realizing I woke him. “Did you sleep?”

“A little. What’s up?”

“Doc Coblentz says our killer wore a condom. Lubricated. I want you to hit the grocery stores, pharmacies and that carryout on Highway 82 and see if the clerks remember anyone buying lubricated condoms.”

“Why do I get all the fun assignments?” T.J. sounds less than thrilled.

It surprises me that I can smile. But it reminds me I’m a cop, not a helpless fourteen-year-old. “See if the person used a credit card.” There are two grocery stores, two pharmacies and one carryout in and around Painters Mill. “I think the carryout has a security camera. If they sold any condoms in the past week, get a copy of the video.”

“I’m on it, Chief.”

“I’ll see you at the station,” I say and disconnect.

Connie Spencer lives in an apartment above a furniture store on Main Street. My boots thud dully against the ancient steps as I ascend to the second floor. I knock, but no one answers. I stand in the dank hall, the smell of old wood and stale air filling my nostrils, and I realize she’s probably at work.

Back at the Explorer, I dial Glock. “Any luck at the bar?”

“I found Amanda Horner’s Mustang in the parking lot.”

My heart jigs. “You take a look inside?”

“Yup, but we got nada.”

“Shit.” Frustrated, I rap the steering wheel with the heel of my palm. “Process the car. See if you can get some latents.”

“Okay.”

“You talk to the bartender?”

“He remembers serving her cosmos.”

“Does he remember if she was with someone?”

“Says they were busy.” Glock sighs. “Any luck with the friend?”

“I’m at her place now, but she’s not home.”

“You might try the diner. Last time I was there she burned my hash browns.”

I call the station as I head toward LaDonna’s Diner. My first shift dispatcher, Lois, answers on the second ring and puts me on hold before I can stop her. When she finally comes back on, I’m steamed.

“Sorry, Chief, but the phones have been nuts.” She sounds rattled.

Nothing burns up the phone lines like a murder, I think darkly. “Any messages?”

“Lots of folks calling about the murder.”

I remember I was supposed to type a statement this afternoon. I’m running out of time. I wish I could stop the clock. “Tell anyone who asks I’ll have a statement later today.”

“Norm Johnston has called three times. He sounds pissed.”

“Tell him I’ll touch base with him later. I’m pretty tied up right now.”

“Will do.”

I disconnect, knowing I won’t be able to put off Norm much longer.

The clock on my dash tells me it’s three
P.M.
when I park outside the diner. Though it’s well after the lunch rush, the place is packed. The heart of the Painters Mill grapevine.

The smells of old grease and burned toast assail me when I enter. Dishes clatter over the din of conversation. From a radio next to the cash register, George Strait laments about desperation. I feel the stares as I walk to the counter. A woman in a pink waitress uniform and big hair smiles as I approach. “Hiya, Chief. Can I get ya a cuppa joe?”

I’ve met her before, but only to say hello. “That’d be great.”

“Wanna menu or you gonna have the special?”

I’m starved, but I know if I eat here these people will descend on me like hyenas on a fresh kill. “Just coffee.”

I slide onto a stool and watch her pour, hoping the coffee is fresh. “Is Connie Spencer around?”

She slides the cup in front of me. “She’s on her break. Poor thing’s been a basket case all morning. Amanda’s murder really freaked her out. You guys know who did it yet?”

I shake my head. “Where is she?”

“Out back. Been smoking like a chimney all day.”

“Thanks.” Leaving the coffee, I head into the kitchen area. The cook looks at me through the steam coming off his grill. A boy with a bad case of acne eyes me from his place in front of the industrial-size dishwasher, then glances quickly away. I spy the door at the back and start toward it.

I find Connie Spencer sitting on a concrete step outside. She’s a thin woman with narrow shoulders and small, quick hands. Her eyes are the color of barn muck and rimmed with blue liner. Pink blush streaks nonexistent cheekbones. Her mouth is bare of lipstick, revealing a cold sore in the corner. Huddled in a faux fur coat, she sucks on a long brown cigarette.

The door slams behind me. Turning, she gives me the evil eye, her expression defiant. A tactic I’ve seen more than once, usually when some tough guy is trying to cover nerves. I wonder what she’s nervous about.

“I was wondering when you were going to show up.” She glances at her watch. “Took you a while.”

Already I don’t like her attitude. “What made you think I would want to talk to you?”

“Because I was with Amanda Saturday night and now she’s dead.”

“You don’t seem too broken up about it.”

She tongues the cold sore. “I guess I’m still in shock. Amanda was so . . .
alive,
you know? I can’t believe it.”

“When’s the last time you saw her?”

“Saturday night. We went out. Had a few drinks.”

“Where?”

“The Brass Rail.”

“Anyplace else?”

“No.”

“Anything unusual happen while you were there?”

“Unusual like what?”

“A guy showing too much interest in her. Someone she didn’t know buying her a drink. Did she have an argument with anyone?”

“Not that I remember.” She gives me a hard laugh. “But I was pretty wasted.”

“Do you know of anyone who might have wanted to hurt Amanda? Did she have any enemies?”

For the first time she gives me her full attention. Some of the attitude drops away and I get a glimpse of the young woman beneath all the trashy brawn. “That’s what I don’t get,” she says. “Everyone liked Amanda. She was like . . . a nice person, always up. Laughed a lot, you know?” A smile that’s much too worldly for a twenty-one-year-old twists her mouth. “I’m the one people usually don’t like.”

I consider telling her she might contemplate an attitude adjustment, but I’m not here to enlighten some smart-assed punk. I’m here to find out who killed Amanda Horner. “What about a boyfriend?”

She lifts a shoulder, lets it fall. “She went out with Donny Beck some, but they broke up a couple of months ago.”

My cop’s radar goes on alert. This is the second time Beck’s name has come up. “How bad was the breakup?”

“Amanda didn’t put up with any of that me-Tarzan-you-Jane shit. She laid down the law and he listened.”

“Tell me about Donny Beck.”

“Not much to tell. He’s a clerk at Quality Implement. Likes Copenhagen and Bud and blondes with big tits. His biggest goal in life is to manage the store. Amanda’s too smart to get tangled up with someone like that. She knows there’s more to life than cow shit and corn.”

I notice she’s speaking of Amanda in the present tense. “Any messy breakups in the past?”

“Don’t think so.”

“Can you think of anyone who might be holding a grudge for some reason?”

“Not that I know of.”

I’m chasing my tail and we both know it. A gust of wind snakes around the building, bringing with it a swirl of snow. “What time did you last see Amanda?”

Her overplucked brows knit. “Eleven-thirty. Maybe twelve.”

“Did you leave the bar together?”

Exhaling smoke, she shakes her head. “Separate cars. I don’t like having to rely on other people for transportation, you know? If I want to leave and they want to stay . . .” Shrugging, she lets the words hang. “Could be a pain in the ass.”

Her lack of emotion bothers me. Amanda was allegedly a good friend. Why isn’t this young woman more upset?

She rises and brushes at the back of her coat. “I gotta get back to work.”

“I’m not finished.”

“You going to pay me for this, or what?” She motions toward the door. “They’re sure as hell not if I don’t get back in there.”

“We can do this here and now or we can do it at the police station,” I say. “Your call.”

She frowns like a petulant teenager, then plops down hard. “This is a bunch of shit.”

“I need you to tell me everything that happened Saturday night. Don’t leave anything out.”

Sarcasm laces her voice as she recaps a night of drinking, dancing and flirting. “We ordered a pizza and pitcher of beer and talked.” She sucks hard on the cigarette and I notice her hand shaking. “After that we played some eight ball
and talked to some people we know. A few guys hit on us. I wanted to get laid, but they were a bunch of fuckin’ losers.”

“What do you mean ‘losers’?” I picture a group of hard-drinking, drug-dealing types looking for trouble.

She looks at me as if I’m dense. “Farmers. A bunch of go-nowhere, I’m-going-to-live-in-bum-fuck-the-rest-of-my-life good ole boys. I could practically smell the pig shit on their boots.”

“Then what happened?”

“I left.”

“I need the names of everyone you and Amanda talked to.”

Sighing, she recites several names.