T is for...he's a TOTAL jerk (Grover Beach Team #3) (19 page)

I pulled my brows into a deep frown. “What?”

“You want the truth? I want your promise that it will stay in this room, no matter what happens.”

Tony was willing to give away a secret, exclusively to me? I probably looked as thunderstruck as I felt, because he chuckled. “Promise?” he demanded.

“I promise.”

“Well, I believe it’s no secret to you that I…felt a certain attraction to Liza for a long time.”

I shook my head. I had been told that he was madly in love with her.

“The thing is I didn’t realize how much I really liked Liza until I started dating your cousin. First, it was all exciting and cool, and I thought I was falling in love with Cloey. But when I brought her to my room one night, and she was all over me, I couldn’t stop thinking about Liz. And suddenly it felt really,
really
wrong to be with Cloey.”

Tony paused long enough for all this information to sink in.

“So it wasn’t her who dumped you,” I reasoned. “You sent her away that night, didn’t you?”

With his chin still on his knee, he nodded once.

“Oh my God,” I whispered. “That’s why she cried for weeks. My aunt told me about it. Cloey felt so miserable, and I’ve been wondering
why
all this time, when everyone thought she was just a bitch. You hurt her.”

“And I felt terrible about it. For exactly two minutes. Then she threatened me with something you should never threaten a guy with.”

“What did she say?”

“She warned me to keep my mouth shut and let people believe she broke off with me. Saving her pride somehow, I guess. Otherwise she’d tell everyone that I was only lying about it because I was dead in the sack.”

Even now I could see how deeply Cloey’s threat had cut into
his
pride when his blue eyes turned sad and a soft pink crept to his cheeks.

“But your friends would have believed you. Why didn’t you tell them? Why did you lie to Liza when this would have been your chance to get her back?”

“Ah, there was some other shit going on with Liz that night. I had practically shoved her into Hunter’s arms, and he was just too happy to keep her. I could have said whatever I wanted. They wouldn’t have believed me.”

“And later?
What about now?”

“Now it doesn’t matter anymore. They’re in love.” He shrugged nonchalantly, his eyes focused on the floor. “Nothing can change that.”

“But you still love her.”

His gaze lifted to mine and he smirked. “Do I?”

“I don’t know. Do you?”

“Well…that’s actually what I’ve been trying to figure out lately.”

“Figure it out? Why? Shouldn’t you know what you feel?”

“Hmm.”
He pressed his lips together, then he asked out of the blue, “Are you in love with me, Summers?”

“I—er— Sorry,
what
?” In a split second my mouth had gone bone dry.

“Let’s see if I’ve got this right.” Tony rose from his chair and slowly walked toward me, his bare feet slapping on the parquet. “You like hanging out with me…and you certainly enjoyed me kissing you.” He tilted his head, arching his brows. “Then again, I think I make you angry a lot, which probably makes you damn me to hell.”

He broke through my personal zone and placed both his palms at eye level against the door, hemming me in. I wondered if this was to reassure himself that he wasn’t going to touch me.

“Now, tell me,
Summers, is this love?”

The temperature in the room rose about twenty degrees. I pressed harder against the door, flattening my hands against the wood. “I don’t know,” was the only honest answer I could give him. It came out in a hoarse whisper.

“See? Sometimes it’s just hard to tell. I don’t know if I’m still in love with Liz.”

His soft breath graced my skin. My breathing quickened. “And now you’re using me to find out how you feel about her?”

“No, Samantha...” Tony dragged out my name as though it was some candy he was devouring. “I’m not using you.” Relaxing his shoulders, he dipped his head a little more. His mouth was so close, I could feel the soft brush of his lips against the corner of mine when he drawled, “You drive me crazy.”

My knees got wobbly. The blood in my veins heated up to an unbearable point. “I’m—sorry?”

“Are you?” Tony chuckled low and deep.

“I feel like I should be.”

“You make it impossible for me to stay away from you.”

“I didn’t know I did.”

Tony angled his head so his nose skimmed along my hair and he took a deep breath. “You’re the total opposite of what I always thought I wanted. Cheeky. Tiny. With an impossible haircut.”

Impossible
?
I liked my hair. And the way he was caressing it with his cheek and nose said he liked it, too.

“But you smell like a vanilla cupcake,” he continued. “I could watch you suck those cherry lollipops all day. And then your little note in AVE today…” His mouth was at my ear. “Do you have any idea how that made me want to haul you out of class and just kiss you?”

My heart felt like it was trying to bulldoze a way out of my ribcage. My hands shook. I placed them just above his stomach to keep a distance between us—and to steady myself. His muscles twitched, but he ignored my slight pressure. He only pushed closer.

“Why can’t I stop thinking about you, Sam?”

Perhaps for the same reason I couldn’t ban him from my thoughts either? “Opposites attract?” I whined.

Tony smiled, mostly with his eyes. “You think?” He was way too close, determination shimmering in his look. I couldn’t get away anymore.

He was going to kiss me…

He was going to kiss me, and I didn’t know how to make him stop. The only thing I knew was that if he did it again, there was no going back. One kiss might be an accident. A second one within two days was intentional. And this time, if he went through with it, I wouldn’t let him break away. I craved it all. If he kissed me now, he would have to deal with me on a daily basis, because I didn’t think I could bear getting this close to him and then being pushed away again.

“Don’t do this if you don’t want it this time,” I whispered.

He blinked once, his soft breath caressing my skin. “I wanted it last time. And I do want it now.” In the next instant, he took my mouth in a seductively slow kiss that burned its way through my veins.

I shuddered so hard that I feared I was losing the floor beneath my feet. But then I realized, the shudder was only on the inside. I was captured between the door and Tony’s body, his warmth seeping through me.

This time, Tony didn’t nibble my lip or start out gently. He just worked my mouth open with his and began to swirl his tongue around mine.
Enticing, slow, and soft. Shoving my hands upward and around his neck, I thrust my fingers into his still-wet hair. I stood on my tiptoes, tilted my head to one side, while I made him angle his the other way by pulling slightly at his hair, and I met each of his kisses with growing hunger. I nipped his bottom lip—harder when I found out I could make him moan in the sexiest way with it.

His hands slid down the door. They grabbed my waist roughly, pulling me tight against him and up. Tony smelled so good.
Musky and forbidden. And he tasted even better. His tongue slid ravenously against mine, making my mind spin.

He lifted me then, and I wrapped my legs around his waist as he carried me. I knew I weighed nothing for him. A couple of seconds later the world
dipped, and I lay on my back on his bed, the sun shining in my face. Breathing fast, I scooted backward. Tony came over me like a predator on the hunt, low, crawling on all fours. His eyes were set on mine, glinting dark blue and voracious.

When his face was above my stomach, he leaned down and nudged my T-shirt up with his nose. The line where he brushed my skin tickled. Then he swirled his tongue around my dragonfly piercing.

Oh-o-o my God!

My fingers dug into the bedding. Dazed from his intense caress, I shivered, the muscles in my stomach twitching. I felt Tony’s breath on my skin when he chuckled. “I’ve wanted to do this since Saturday night,” he drawled. Then he planted a soft kiss on my belly button and moved farther up until he hovered above me at eye level. Hands braced on the mattress at my sides, he bent his elbows and leaned down to kiss me once more.

Reaching down, he pulled first one unlaced boot off my foot, then the other, dropping them to the floor, never breaking the kiss. I wanted to wrap my legs around him again, hooking my heels at his back, pushing him as tight to me as possible. But a buzz in my pants pocket stopped me.

“You’re on vibration,” Tony whispered against my lips, amused.

“That must one of the girls,” I replied, pulled out of my passion. I reached into my pocket and fished out my cell. The ringing got louder.

“Don’t answer it,” Tony begged, kissing a path from my ear to the corner of my mouth.

How could he be so distracting?

“I have to,” I groaned. “Cheerleading training starts in a few minutes.”

“Skip the training.”

His hand stroked mine,
then he took the phone away from me, tossing it onto the pillow. The ringing stopped a few seconds later. Turning my head, I looked at the phone, uncertain.

“Relax, Bungee.” Tony planted sweet kisses on the tip of my nose and on my mouth again. “I’m sure they can do without you today.”

I found it hard to concentrate on anything when he sucked me up in his caresses. Soon, our lips were locked in another ferociously deep kiss.

My phone started to buzz again. Tony moaned against my mouth. This time he let me sit up and get my cell. However, I didn’t get a chance to answer the call, because he snapped the phone out of my hand, briefly glanced at the display,
then answered it. “Liz?”

I tilted my eyebrows at Tony. He mirrored the gesture, not taking his eyes off me, while he spoke into the phone.

“Sam’s at my place.” He paused, listening, then he went on, “I don’t think she’ll make it to the training today…Because we’re stuck in the middle of a project…for AVE.”

My heart sank.

Tony dropped his gaze for a moment. “No. She’s in the bathroom. I’ll tell her to call you when she gets back.” He rang off and gave me my cell phone. As I tucked it into my pocket, he nibbled, then kissed my neck.

All the passion in me had vaporized. I felt nothing for him at that moment and turned my head away.

Tony sat back on his haunches. The holes in the denim stretched over his knees. He fixed me with a puzzled stare. “What?”

I scooted farther away from him. “Why did you do that?” My voice was flat and cold.

He reached for my hand, blinking those incredibly long golden lashes at me. “Because I don’t want you to go just yet.”

“No,” I said sharply, moving out of his touch. “Why did you lie to Liza?”

“Umm…” And that was all. No answer came from him.

My chest constricted, making breathing suddenly impossible. “I’ll tell you why,” I whispered as understanding and anguish choked my throat.
“Because you don’t want her to know what you were just about to do with me. You’re hoping if you stay
available
, she’ll come back to you one day.” Accusingly, I narrowed my eyes at him. “Nothing has changed. You still love her. Like you did for all those years. And I was just…I don’t know…at the wrong place at the wrong time?”

I climbed out of his bed, praying I could hold my crap together until I was out of his room. As I slipped on my boots, Tony brushed my arm. “I’m sorry, Sam. It’s just…”

Whirling around to face him, I hissed, “What? It’s just
what
? You can’t make up your mind about her? Fine. Don’t make this my problem. Leave me the hell out of your crazy shit.”

“I would, if I could. But somehow I feel—” He clenched his teeth, his eyes narrowing to angry slits.
“Like I’m addicted to you. And I just don’t know how to break it.”

“Simple!” I shouted at him.
“Stop! Kissing me!”

When my vision started to turn blurry, I dashed out the door and downstairs, ignoring his shouting my name behind me. I slammed the front door shut and ran all the way home.

I was a total wreck, out of breath and drenched in my own sweat, when I fell through the door into my room. Refusing to succumb to my tears, I clenched my teeth, kicking my clothes,
which still lay scattered on the floor, out of the way.

That was it. I was done with Mr. Anthony—
I was only playing with you
—Mitchell! He could drop dead and I wouldn’t care. And while I was at it, he could shove those damn pictures he had drawn of me right up his ass. Fishing them out of my portfolio, I was ready to rip them to pieces and dump them in the bin. But then my gaze fell on his black sweater on the floor and I had a better idea. I still had to give him that damn sweater back.

When I was done raging and kicking things around, I started to clean my room—a good way to calm my heated temper and tamp down my anger.
He wasn’t worth it, I told myself time and again. Tony wasn’t worth even a
thought
.

But I couldn’t deny it.

It hurt.

It hurt when I thought of him, and it hurt even more when I tried not to. It hurt when I closed my eyes. And it hurt when I breathed. Nothing could stop this pain. No one could make it go away.

I felt trapped in a dungeon of emotions that had firmly closed its gates. Finally, the first tears spilled over and burned a hot trail down my cheeks. Angry at myself, I wiped them away, sank onto my bed, and put my head in my hands. What did it take to not feel? How could I ban this ugly aching from my chest and move on?

I didn’t know.

But one thing would be different from now on. No matter how I felt, no one would ever know the heartbreak I suffered. I was done playing the open book of emotions for everyone to see. No, I wouldn’t tell anyone what happened today. I would smile and pretend all was right in my life.

And I started right when Cloey shoved my door open without knocking to let me know that dinner was ready.

With my head held high and my heart held in a choke-hold so it couldn’t bring me down, I went to the dining room and sat down with my family. Pamela had cooked again, roast pork and veggies, and she happily served everyone.

Before we started eating, Jack rose from the table and headed into the living room. A second later, he called out, “Pam, did you take the last two bottles of Scotch?”

“No, darling,” Pam shouted back.

Jack returned with a bottle of white wine instead of Scotch and sat down once more, a puzzled frown on his face. “They’re gone. I’m sure there were two bottles left.”

“They should be there,” Pam answered. “I know we didn’t open the ones you got from your boss for your birthday.”

“That’s what I thought.”

I started cutting my pork, not paying much attention to their conversation. As I shoved the first bite into my mouth, I suddenly caught Cloey’s amused gaze on me. A scary sense of foreboding made me stop chewing.

“Sam, didn’t you take the Scotch to Matthews’ sleepover party last weekend?” she asked in an overly innocent voice.

“No! I did not!” I shot back. My heart lurched to my throat at the sight of my aunt and uncle sending me surprised looks.

“Oh. My bad,” Cloey crooned. “I thought I saw you take them upstairs. But I must have been mistaken.” As if nothing had happened, she continued eating her meal, ignoring my dumbstruck expression.

“Sam?”

I turned to my aunt’s soft inquiry.

“Did you take the Scotch to your friends?”

“No, Pamela. I swear I didn’t touch those bottles. I don’t drink alcohol! None of my friends do.”

“Oh, you sure about that?” Cloey chipped in again. “But then, you haven’t been to any of Ryan Hunter’s parties yet, so you probably don’t know. There’s always lots of alcohol when they get together.”

How the hell could she sound so calm and sweet? I knew inwardly she was celebrating that she’d got
ten the chance to send me to my doom.

“Well, none of my friends brought any alcohol last weekend.” My gaze hardened on her. “What about your friends? Did you take the Scotch to celebrate with
Brin, Les, and Ker?” I emphasized each name explicitly.

A muscled ticked in Cloey’s jaw, but she didn’t answer.

“There, there,” Uncle Jack cut in. “Let’s not accuse each other.” Then he narrowed his eyes at me, and I knew he meant
I
shouldn’t have a go at his
neat princess
like that. “I don’t know what happened to the Scotch, but I want you to know, Sam, that we don’t lie to each other or steal in this family.”

My chin dropped to the floor. He was accusing me?

“I’m sure
nobody
in this family is a thief,” Pam came to my rescue. “So why don’t we just drop this topic and enjoy our meal while it’s still hot?” She rubbed my arm and gave me a warm smile. “Don’t worry, Sammy. We know you didn’t take the Scotch.”

From her look I knew she believed me, but she was only one third of the jury. My appetite gone, I pushed my veggies around the plate with the fork but couldn’t bring myself to eat any more.

Today sucked, and I was glad when I could crawl into bed and close this chapter for good.

*

Wednesday morning, I woke with a kink in my neck—I must have tossed and turned in my sleep and hung my head over the edge of the bed. I got up way too late after wondering when would be the best moment to return the sweater to Tony. Confronting him today was not something I was looking forward to. I knew it was going to reopen the wound he’d cut in my heart yesterday. But most of all, I didn’t want to make a fuss in front of my friends.

Wrapping the darn thing in a plastic bag, I decided to give it to him after AVE. It was the safest moment to go. But it didn’t take until sixth period or even lunch break that I saw Tony today. Right before Science, he was waiting for me in front of the classroom.

Leaning against the wall, he focused on me as I came down the hallway, intending to ignore him and just slip into class. My heart pounded louder with every stride I took in his direction. When it became clear to him that I wasn’t going to speak to him, he lifted his arm, bracing himself against the doorjamb, and blocked my way inside.

“Sam, can we talk?” he said with a low voice.

I had to stop because otherwise I would have bumped into him, but I didn’t intend to stay. “No,” I said coldly, ducked under his arm, and stalked into class. I didn’t look back as I went to my seat next to Nick. He was listening to music with his headphones plugged into his ears. He hadn’t noticed anything. And when I cast a brief glance at the door, Tony was gone.

It was hard to get through the morning pretending everything was all right. But I managed. None of my friends suspected something was off, or that I was suffering silently while putting on a smile. Lunch was the hardest part of the day, because even though I half-expected Tony to be absent again, he was there. He sat silently across the table from me. For the entire hour, I felt his burning stare on my face, but I refused to look in his direction.

Nick was a nice distraction, as always. He bantered with me about my addiction to lollipops, then tried to pull mine out of my mouth. Before break was over, Liza and Ryan announced a party at Hunter’s house the coming weekend. Saturday was their three-month anniversary. Unfortunately, it was also the day that the Bay Sharks would play the Rabid Wolves. Liza’s disappointment that they couldn’t spend the day together was transparent, but she told me later in PE that Ryan had let slip he had a surprise for her afterward at the party. It had sure lifted her spirits.

“Did you and Tony finish that Arts project?” she asked me after we had done cartwheels down the entire length of the gym.

Not talking about something was one thing. But I hated to lie. So I just nodded and tried to steer the conversation in a different direction. I didn’t want to be home alone again today, so I asked the girls if they were up for a sundae in the afternoon.

“Sure,” Liza agreed. “We can go to Charlie’s. Tony is bussing tables there today so he can be free on the weekend again for the party. I’m sure we’ll get one for free.” She waggled her brows at me, obviously not aware of how my stomach had slid to my feet just then.

After PE, I got really nervous, because it was time to face Tony and give him the bag with the sweater inside. I could hardly concentrate during AVE and wondered if he was looking at me from the back or if he’d gone back to ignoring me like I was ignoring him.

When the final bell rang and everyone was packing their things, I quickly shoved my stuff into my schoolbag, then pulled out the sweater and rose from my seat. As I turned, ready to walk to the back of the room, I banged against a firm chest.

Funnily enough, his mere scent of wild girl-dreams gave Tony away without my having to look up. But when I did, I almost got lost in the depth of his sky-blue eyes. I swallowed hard, reining in my unwanted excitement.

Tony tilted his head, his lips sealed tight, but his look warm and hopeful.

“Here.” I pushed the bag at him. “That’s yours.” Not waiting another moment, I whirled around and hurried off.

Good job, Sam
, I told myself, proud that I’d been cool enough not to stutter or give away my nervousness otherwise. He didn’t have to see how he affected me after all. And holy cow, he did.