Tabloidology (20 page)
At 10:22 pm, Razor was standing beside Martin's printer as it hummed and buzzed and spat out two sheets. Razor snatched them up and glanced at a mouse running across the top of the printer with a pickle in its mouth. As the last sheet left the printer, the lights went out, Martin's computer shut down and the printer died.
“Mom must have plugged the toaster in again,” Razor said. “You got a flashlight I can use?”
“Remember. It's still not the final version, but it's close,” Martin said. “You'll be happy to know that I managed to work in an alien again this week.”
The next morning, Trixi arrived at school extra early. She used a key the principal had given her to open the door to the photocopy room, punched her four-digit access code into the new photocopier and got to work.
Just before recess, Martin set up a table outside the office and put a large metal box with a hole in the top on the table. A minute later, Trixi arrived with a stack of newspapers.
“I made twenty extra copies after what happened last week,” she said.
“Good thinking,” Martin replied.
When the recess bell sounded, Martin held up a copy of this week's edition of the
Upland Green Examiner
and shouted, “Get your paper here! Read all about it! An interview with our very own music teacher, Mrs. Cargill!”
Trixi added, “Was she really the lead guitarist in a punk-rock band called The Grooveyard? Read this week's paper for all the details!”
“Read all about it!” Martin called out. “
Garbage Cans
Mysteriously Disappear!
”
Then Trixi said, “Was it the work of aliens? Read about how you can earn a big reward for their returnâthe garbage cans, not the aliens!”
“Read all about it!”
And, of course, everyone at Upland Green School did.
FUTURE AUTHOR'S PARENTS ALLOW CHILD'S IMAGINATION TO RUN OFF-LEASH!
HIGHLAND PARK ELEMENTARY STAFF AND STUDENTS INSPIRE AUTHOR TO WRITE NOVEL WITH HELP OF AN ALTER-EGO SWINE!
EDITOR SARAH HARVEY WIELDS MAGICAL BLUE PENCIL!
GOVERNMENT OFFICIALS ACKNOWLEDGE THAT TEACHER -LIBRARIANS REALLY DO RULE THE WORLD!
Chris McMahen
is an elementary school teacher-librarian who has had a lifelong fascination with tabloid newspapers. He teaches media literacy to elementary students as part of their language-arts program, and on occasion he uses tabloids for inspiration (and a good jolt of laughter). Chris lives near Armstrong, British Columbia.