Tainted (26 page)

What?  His pretty face?  His charm?   His status?  His determination?

“I know that you are probably running through those qualities as we speak, but just know that I can be all that and more if you would give me the chance.  I don’t want you to think I’m cruel or malicious.”

I was right about his past.  A thought crossed my mind, “How do you know that we’re not being listened in on?  Aren’t you worried someone will hear?  And cruel and malicious is the old Kin to me.  This Kin is a still undetermined good guy, just with a hidden agenda.”

He blushed.  KIN ACTUALLY BLUSHED.
I narrowed my eyes in wait fully alert to the bad news he would pop on me now.  He closed the distance between us and I saw his hand reach for my pendant--that wasn't there--and then jolt back.  His face showed all kinds of fear.  More than I’d ever seen in him.

“Sorry.  For a second I was going to lift the pendant, but I…they,” he gestured to the door, “think we are busy.”  He leaned in close to say this.  Not a bit of smooth talker in him.  His body backed it’s way onto the edge of the bed.

Oh!  Ohhh! My first thought was
no
my
freaking
way.  My second was that at least they don’t think I am the queen.  I listened for a while to Kin telling me about his father’s politics as a boy to take the focus away from me.  He watched his mother die when he was five after a Seelie court guard attacked her on the road to the summer solstice.  That explained a lot in the way of animosity towards the other court. 

I also learned that his father, the Unseelie court king, had big plans for him from the beginning of his birth.  The untimely death of his wife, the queen, had altered “daddy’s” plans.  He was intended to marry.  An arranged marriage.  This was the biggest shock.  There is a girl living right here in this court ready and willing to marry him right now. And Kin refuses because he waited eighteen years for me.  This was disheartening at the same time. “Can I see her?”  I had no idea why I wanted to do this.

“No!  That is not any matter that needs be.”

Sometimes he talked like he was from another time, or place like the others.  I guess they were.  Ian and Pike did it too, just not as much.  I guess Kin was a different court or just different altogether.  I let the matter drop.

“Are you angry with your father?”  I could chance a subject like this with Kin.  I wanted to know why the king mentioned my own father.

He regarded me with much speculation and finally answered, “Yes, and no.”

I wouldn’t pry any further.  If he wanted to tell me, he would.  He’d already opened the flood gate.  He was honest at least some of the time and I admired that sincerity he’d given me.  Maybe it served a greater evil, but undoubtedly, I felt safe near him.  And...it would gain me more to keep him talking.             

Curse, prophecy, idiocy or whatever it is, he would not let harm come to me.  So at this second, I allowed a small image of a different Kin saving me from his father’s clutches.  Fear wrapped around me.  I hid it.

“What did the king mean by the comment about my father?”  I felt my nerves wrack.

“Not now Grace,” he barked. 

I drew in farther away from his vile making sure to reign in my emotions and check for the only protective ability I brought, my nerve. 

He sighed heavily, “I don’t know how to talk to you.”

I smiled hoping it would ease him then scanned the room to know my surroundings. This room was gold, lavish, cold.  “You never did.”

“I mean, I’ve never talked to anyone about me, no one.”

“Not even your friends?”  My head snapped back making my back pop and remind me of the uncomfortable position I’d curled into.

“I don’t have any.”  This took a ton of courage to admit. I could see and hear clearly the reality he painted of himself. 

“Why not?” 

He looked away, “I was guarded my whole life.  Anyone I confided in was interrogated or watched closely.  I had no side passions to become involved in and I spent most of my time doing whatever my father deemed quality time serving him.  Most recently, and the only good thing I've ever done, watching you.”

Whoa!  That was a lot to take.  But I was quick with a response, “And how do you intend to have your son or daughter raised?”

He analyzed my face since he couldn’t read my thoughts, “I hope to be a better father and to not dictate their life.”

“I have to say, you’ve spent all of my eighteen years dictating to me.  Why the change now?”  I held my breath.

“I can’t reason it.  I’m still in here.  That Kin.  But I don’t want to be him anymore. All I knew before you were the Unseelie and well, I want to have someone like me for who I am.  And you don’t like that person.”

This is so not the same Kin that recently flung himself on me, tried to force a binding, and curse me repeatedly over the years. Slowly, I’d watched him change. Back and forth, my mind could never decide.  If it was a hoax, it was well done. “And I made you realize this?”

“Yes.  I’m tired of doing what they expect me to do and do what I think is right. I did what my father expected because he said you would change into what my mother was.  You didn’t. I’m nowhere near close to what I probably should be, but I’m easing into it slowly because you proved wrong what everyone said would be pure evil like your predecessors.  I value that and think you would be the perfect compliment to my court.  You could change things.”  His long legs stretched out in front of me.  He was a total masculine machine to any woman who watched him intently.  He knew it too.  When I looked away from his legs and followed his arms back up to his eyes, he was smiling like the cunning devil he still had inside.  

“Okay…so you’re willing to change.  I like this Kin.”  I held my breath again.

“Really?” His voice was hopeful and the direct opposite of sixty seconds ago. His body flexed upward.

“Yes, Kin.  I do.  And if you’ll excuse me, I have had yet another long night with you by my side in dangerous liaisons that leave me fearful to sleep.”

“I will keep you safe.”

“I believe that.”  On some plane of admiration, he believed that too, or he would go down fighting for me.  “Can I sleep?”

“Where would you like?”

I surveyed my options.  “Can I sleep in that chair?” I pointed to the one with an ottoman attached in front.  I wanted to ask if he’d keep watch for me because I didn’t think I could sleep without it, but on some level I realized how much I trusted him more than I ought to and that scared me. 

“I will keep watch.  I don’t require any sleep at the moment.”

That amazed me still.  Even though he hadn’t heard my thoughts, he saw me relax when he said it.  His smile lifted just a little on the corner to signal that he noticed.  He settled into the chair I just left that angled against where I would sit, lodged his dagger into his hand gripping it just tightly enough, and watched me.  I couldn’t handle that part, but couldn’t see any way around it.  I curled my feet into a ball and shivered.  He was up and over to the bed sliding the comforter off it and putting it over me before I had my eyes good and opened.  “Thank you.”  I muttered closing my eyes and feeling just how tired I was.  I still held my breath.

“Will you permit yourself to breath now?” he whispered too close.

Not opening my eyes out of fear of just how close I responded with, “Are you ever serious?”

“When you need me to be.  If you require any mouth-to-mouth or other needs, I’m your man.”

“Never change Kin.  Never change.”

“For you, my queen, I will do anything.”             

  I drifted fast thinking how I was pretty sure of what I’d just heard from Kin’s lips.  And the sad thing is...I believed him.  Friend or foe?

  When I woke in a few hours and felt the morning was here, I blinked blurrily trying to pry my exhausted eyes open.  Kin was where I left him, still staring intently at me with his eyes a little softer now than before. I stretched and curled out of the blanket.

Friend or foe?
  I repeated my last thoughts to myself before I drifting off. 
Both!

“What is it?” he asked.

“Did you watch me the whole time?”  I shouldn’t have asked what I didn’t want the real answer too.

“Yes.   I had nothing else I wanted to do.”

What do I say to that?

“Can I use the restroom?”

“You don’t have to ask me.” He was upset I asked.  Oh well.  He can’t change overnight.

After much bowing and ritual like goodbyes, we set off.  He returned me to an area he said was right outside the perimeter of my court where Pike and Ian were both situated and ready to pounce.  Ha!  They’d guessed he’d have a repeat performance.  How clever of all three. 
              Kin stopped and set me down.  He’d explained that carrying me would mask my scent from being followed by any unmentionable opposition and I registered that that was probably a good idea.  He was lingering so I knew he wanted to say his final “somethings” before I was off to be rescued. 

“Grace, they will not let the same scenario happen a third time.  You have seen both my homes.  I am in hope that you enjoyed your stay both times despite my means of obtaining you.  And I sincerely hope you will consider what I have to offer.  I do not know if I will be able to bring you back again, but hear this.  If you are in trouble and need my help, or if you need to talk, or need anything at all, just remove the pendant and I will be there.”

The pendant I didn’t have.  I touched my wrist out of habit.

“Kin, you match me in my monologues I have come to see and I will indeed call upon you if need be.  I would like to be able to choose to come to your court again, but not as your submissive, but as a friend.  I hope to have a future with you; it’s just not what I think you might hope it all to be.  You have me on this pedestal…all of you do…either way, I am what I am and that is all I can say for the moment.  Please think of me as a friend, because I do count you as one now.  I hope with everything that you will be a better king and father than your own and hope that our paths cross again in more congenial, less fragile circumstances, but I will not return again alone.”

“Show me the pendant.”

Somehow, he knew.  I signaled to the trampoline without a word.  “As I thought.  Your abilities are stronger than anyone we know.”

He kissed me. 

Aaa!  “Don’t do that.”  I touched my mouth where his heat still lingered. 

“If I never tried, I’d hate myself.   I will not ask again without permission.”

Yeah, said that before. Not a welcome thought at him ever trying it again.  However good looking and changed man he may be, he didn’t fizzle my insides like Ian and never would.  I don’t feel the slightest tingle when he was near and he needed to be sure of my intentions.  He has become a good friend or ally.  I can handle that Kin.  Not the other.

My mind drifted to the comment made by the drink table while I tried to convince Kin to avoid dancing with me.  He’d said that others would attempt taking me simply because of who “I belonged to”.  That was a shudder worthy scare that would keep me on my toes on any court I waltzed into. 

He said goodbye and sent me in the direction of home.  I watched him disappear in the trees before I started off.

Time stood still when I reached the edge of the trees near the smoldering fire by the Seelie court.  Before I reached it though, I was being smothered by guards and Ian and Pike all at the same time.  Pike had me balanced on my feet and Ian was checking me over for damage.  The teamwork was not the issue, the hands all over me was.  After the two of them confirmed with each other that the other was satisfied I relaxed.  That is until I saw that the two of them were conversing in their mind some of the severest bad language to hide it from me. 

“She’s in one piece.” Pike grabbed one wrist, while Ian grabbed another.  I guessed, looking for bindings.

Twisting and turning, Ian yelled out.  “I don’t care.  The damn fool took her.  I want her checked.”

I concentrated hard and pushed both of them attempting to break in both their heads,
LET ME GO!

Pike fell on his back end.  Ha!  Served him right. 

Ian watched with less than a smile on his face and said, “You know, you can’t just simply make others bend to your will.  I can’t read him when you do that.”

Oh, this was a great item to check off and note for later though I think I knew this.  I totally forgot to be anxious about seeing Ian, for now I was angry with him.  “You mean when I mind mojo someone, they are impenetrable to others during the event?  Nice!  And isn’t that my right?”  I smiled as deviously as they do to me sometimes.  So much for my welcome home.

Ian and Pike eyed each other.  This I noticed meant more than a simple nod.  Betting they were deciding on telling me the truth, I jumped ahead for them. 
              “Yes, it does.  Already accomplished the skill. And proved very useful.”

“Grace, this doesn’t make a good weapon.  Altheon showed you this with the dress.  He chose to hide that from me.  It is an art that doesn’t always pan out the way it’s intended except with practice and who the recipient is in particular.  It
can
backfire.”  He turned to Pike, who was back up and pawing the tattered edges of my sleeves.  I couldn’t see what face he made, but I knew it wasn’t nice. 

“Well noted.  Who shall be my next victim?”  I clapped my hands together in hopes of creating shock and to stop being pawed.  This was a weird way to return, but weird is relative to where and what I know of this world of the Fey. Keeping these people safe was a chore.

“Enough touching her.  Leave now,” he told Pike and the other guards.  Ian moved fast grabbing me tightly with no intention of letting go.

Pike snorted his famous you’re so in for it sound of reminding Ian he’d been beat and I was in trouble.  He liked to do that a lot lately.  “You mister will be sorry for that noisy response.  It’s your rear paying the price of the two of your little hide it from Grace mind games.  Best not to mess with me!”  I wiggled my finger back and forth in front of his face and curled my lips up at him.

He purposefully laughed at me, dropped the ropes he’d been helping Ian with, and shook his head.  He walked off mumbling something like, “You are so not like any Fey queen before.  We are in for it.”

I concentrated again knowing I was too quick to get angry sometimes.  My eyes stayed open every time now reminding me it was getting easier.  Concentrating on sending a message to another’s mind wasn’t hard if you knew what the steps were to do it.  The memory came to me like it was yesterday.  I projected it into Pike’s brain and waited.  He stopped from the four feet he’d made in haste to exit keeping his back to me.

You showed me this for what reason?
  Turning, his eyes darkened like when he agitated me with his flirtatious side of all dark and Pikeness. 
Uh, oh!
  Maybe that was a mistake!

I was just trying to show you how I see you.  How others see you.  That you are some kind of awesome.

That is not what I need or want from you, Beautiful.  I need more of what you can’t give so don’t show me locker shots of how you see me from when I sat and waited like a damn sick puppy to find out if you could be mine, because you never will. 

Okay!  I chose poorly
.
Allowing him to walk away, I turned back to an amused Ian who did indeed let me loose after Pike walked away.  “What are you smug about?”  I was enjoying the time with Pike and Ian together in one area and not being so confrontational like it used to be.  Pike was more accepting of our designed destinies and moving on it seemed.  Or at least, he let on like it was.

“Nothing, my love.  The entertainment of my queen and the thrill of seeing the
others
get let down doesn’t excite me at all.  Not at all!”  He continued to unknot the mess of rope that was tangled around the trampoline.  I couldn’t understand why it was there in the first place and Ian nor Pike enlightened me.

“You aren’t mad at me?” I asked biting off the last word.

He turned very troubled, dark disguised eyes at me, “I am angrier with you than Kin or Pike together.”

That was unexpected.  “I don’t know what to say,” my lip quivered and I bit down to stop it.

He drew in a short breath, dropped the rope, and started pacing, not holding me, not kissing me like he’d done in the past. “Grace, when are you going to stop flaunting yourself to others?  You are my girl and you’ve got to stop all this now.  Taking yourself away from me to go to Kin.  Right NOW I need you to either be mine or…I just can’t do this again, Grace!”

The “you’re my woman” man roar.  He really meant it. 

“I don’t want some other dude pawing or looking at you.  Is that too much to ask?”  He was yelling rather loudly but not letting up on the rope he had back in his hands now.  More than that, his knuckles were as white as the tight way he drew in his lips.  Talk about man anger.

I was just realizing how absorbed I was in my own agendas that I’d neglected Ian’s perspective or how it looked when I made decisions without him.  As shallow as I felt at that moment, I managed to pull myself together and beg his forgiveness.  “I’m glad you told me.  No, I didn’t think about how it looks or how you might feel.  Maybe that’s because I’ve never had anyone ever care before and didn’t think about it from your eyes, but I should have.  I would die if you did that to me.  Feel free to go all caveman again if I push it too far, but I will not give Kin another thought if that’s what you need of me.”

His face fell.  “No Grace, that isn’t what I want.  He is a player in this game we can’t avoid.  I just wish you would act like your mine and belong to me only if that’s what you really want.”  His voice softened to the point I couldn’t tell if he was going to continue or not.  “Or make your choice.”

How could anyone do this to the man who loves this much?  He’s all but begging me to simply act like I worship him, for which I do.  “Okay.  I see your point and you’re right.  I can tell it’s killing you to tell me this.  Just remember, Kin means nothing to me but a business transaction.   And don’t even think for one minute that Pike’s charms work on me.  He may be charming, but he’s not you.”

Ian smiled wonderfully.  He gathered me to him and settled it with a furiously dangerous kiss.  Make up kissing was pure bliss.  The force of his lips said as much as his words.

After returning to lay his ropes out like a boundary around the area I let something else course through his mind.  “You have a rat Ian.  Someone on the inside gave Kin my gold dress.”

His wild glazed eyes told me otherwise, then he surveyed the outfit I had on now.  “No one is a mole.  I sent it back.  Return address.  He will not have you.  Any of you.  I already tolerate what discussion you have with him, he will not clothe you too.”  Scratch the confrontational bit about making up.  Just depends on which way the mood swing pendulum stills and when I open my big mouth.

He dusted me one more time and took my hand to lead me to my rooms, but didn’t move.  I quickly thought about asking if he knew where I been taken and why he didn’t just come get me.  After careful consideration, I decided he might lie to me and I didn’t want that.  I worried that he’d say something else about me making the hard decision to choose between them, though, he made it clear I was only his.  A walking contradiction was no one to argue with.

Okay!  Another subject.  “Why is your room a real room and mine is like a jungle?”  No sense wasting precious time.  Kin was over now.

His glowing green eyes looked stunned, “I…thought that’s what you wanted.”

Okay! “Well, that was nice for a while, but I would like a real room if that’s okay?”

Unexpectedly, he smiled back and continued with the ropes in his hand now tying they around a tree.  I thought he was finished.  I thought we were leaving.

“What?” I asked.

“Grace, you’re the queen of the Seelie court.  You may have anything you please.”  He enjoyed saying this.

“Then I’ll take a giant burger, no sauces.  A large any kind of soda.  A dozen roses from my favorite future king of the Seelie court.  And a NOW wedding, rather than later with a long, slow down time private moment with my future husband.”

This was a one-eyebrow moment.  “In that order?” he said testing me.

“Yes!”  I was feeling sparky!  I needed to be cleansed of Kin’s doings.

He frowned.  I imagined he was remembering my last burger and who it was from.

“The first three fulfill a now need.  The last one fulfills a lifetime need and I want to take my slow time making every second of it count.”  I accentuated the words slowly for effect.

He liked this.  Dropping the ropes that I
still
had no idea why were so important, he pulled me into his arms and the crowd that we didn’t even know about earned another juicy sideshow.

I heard someone say they would finish wrapping the trip wire.  Trip wire?  Were they making a trap for Kin or something?

We departed with applause and retired to his room, not mine.  I looked forward to a restful sleep wrapped in Ian’s arms and nothing said about Kin after he had the details and assurance I was unharmed.  I’d missed his amazingly strong and security blanket safe arms for a whole night.  He appeared to have missed me too since he was wrapped so tightly around me when I awoke stiff and unable to move.  I listened to the birds above and their happy tunes surprised I could hear them.  Baby birds were singing their songs all the time lately. No rain had surfaced around our court in weeks.

Lying there, I thought back to the way Ian looked when I walked up from my second kidnapping I now called the great rescue.  His face was in agony and relief synonymous with Pike’s but they never questioned my going.  It was like they expected it.

Ian was nowhere near the trampoline when I walked right up to it, but Pike was on the other side screaming for him and racing for me at the same time.  Pike was irritatingly inspecting all over me for scratches and such.  Of course, I was free of any such things.  Kin was a gentleman.  A kidnapping gentleman.  I had to laugh.

We had lengthy discussions about the details of what all happened and five hundred times I was asked, “Are you hurt anywhere?” Ian decided that night he wanted me to go back to his room where he intended to check me over.  Just to be sure.  When my eyes went wide with something other than real fear, he gave in and had Danella do it and report to her while he stood outside his bathroom door refusing to leave the room.  Pike liked all this being that Ian reported it to him whom stood right outside the bedroom door for a verbal reassurance.

The days that followed included many talks about tighter security.  I wasn’t allowed at the trampoline by myself ever.  I couldn’t go to the range alone.  I was lectured, checked on repeatedly, walked everywhere with an escort, and tons more protected as the fragile queen.  I brought this on myself.  I earned this.  I had to stew in it.

Even my book club was monitored.  My guards had to stay with us.  Bane was stationed to stand behind me and not move.  I kindly sat on the sofa and placed Sarah beside me.  Super close.  He was going to stand above her as well.  She was pins and needles the whole night each time.  Once, I looked up to ask his opinion on why guys always had to have hints that we wanted things figuring I’d use the babysitting factor as a guy lesson bonus to benefit Sarah.

His puzzled look forced me to give a continued inquiry.  Oh, goody!  “I mean things like we have to hint when we want flowers and such.  Why don’t men think to just do this all the time?  That’s what we want.”

“Right on!” Cyly shouted a high five in the air over to Lorah.  Lorah shyly hit her hand back.  The two of them took turns being the timid flower.  I couldn’t keep up with their personalities like I could Sarah.  We just clicked.

Bane clearly didn’t want to be cornered, but I wasn’t giving.  This was for myself as well as for Sarah and he’d definitely tell Ian everything said.

“Well, my queen, I think that we men worry that we will give the wrong thing and it will be interpreted wrong or not meet the expectations of the woman we are pursuing.”  His eyes never left mine.

“This makes sense, but to not get anything is just a broken heart waiting to happen.”

“Noted,” he countered a little more into it now, “but if we failed the one we love, we’ve lost everything in our eyes.”