Tainted by Temptation (24 page)

Lucian gently lowered her to the bed and pushed the bedding down to pool across her hips. Naked before him, she curled her fingers around the covers.

“Trust me, Velvet. I want to look at you. You are so beautiful.”

Releasing her grip, she reached for him and tried to pull him down to her, but he resisted. Looking down on her, he ran his fingers slowly over her exposed skin. “Your skin is so soft.”

Her skin was so sensitized, she felt his every touch everywhere, but mostly between her legs. She brushed her hand over his chest and looked her fill at the hard lines and planes of his body. Every inch of him filled her with a delicious appreciation.

“I thought you were an angel, the first time I saw you.” She flushed hearing the breathless admiration in her voice. He would think her silly.

“My thoughts were more earthly,” he whispered.

He leaned and pressed kisses to her shoulder. Then with a languorous deliberation, he trailed nips and little sucking pecks under her collarbone and lower until he suckled on her increasing sensitized breasts.

Her hips twisted and her woman’s flesh was swollen and begging for attention, yet he slid against her and engaged her in a deep kiss. Every inch of his skin against hers electrified her.

She moaned a protest as he trailed kisses down her chest and across her stomach. He inserted his knee between hers and caressed her thighs while urging them apart. Eager for the repeat of having him inside her, she complied. Yet, his kisses traveled lower. As his destination became clear, her heart raced. She attempted to close her legs, but he was there, his shoulders preventing her.

The first press of his mouth to her brought a burst of raw sensation. Unable to fathom where the jolts of sensation were taking her, she pushed him away.

He simply sank lower and lapped at the tender flesh of her inner thigh, then the back of her knee. Her body thrummed with a building excitement.

Regretting her resistance, she sobbed. He knew better what she wanted than she did herself. As if aware of the shift in her mood, he returned to the seat of her pleasure. Her body had a will of its own as she writhed and strained toward and away from him. The intimacy was almost more than she could bear. The sensations built and burst over her in throbbing waves of rapture.

She cried out, but Lucian coaxed her through. He kissed her quivering stomach, and every touch shook her and seemed to touch deep inside her soul. He kissed her lips, and she felt as if she’d melted on the sheets. “My turn,” he whispered.

But then he rolled to the side. Velvet tried to catch her breath but was too amazed by what had happened. She hadn’t known how shockingly good what he’d done felt. But the distance between them bothered her. She wanted him between her legs rocking into her. She wanted to be joined to him now, tomorrow, and for the rest of their lives.

As she reached for him, she realized he was placing a sheath on his male member. Regret that there must be anything between them made her heart hurt. He positioned himself on top of her. Then he stroked the hair away from her face as he probed her slick cleft.

He stared down at her as he pushed inside of her and made them one. Awake to every sensation, her woman’s core pulsed around him as he stroked in and out. She held her breath. And it seemed as if she had been waiting her whole life for this moment with Lucian.

He felt like heaven and sin combined in a pleasure more powerful than she could understand. She stroked his perspiration-slick back and down over the hard muscles of his backside. Letting her know he liked her touches, he crooned encouragement and praise.

She explored him with the intent of learning how to make him come apart as she had. His infinite gentleness, in spite of the building urgency she sensed in him, combined to make her feel treasured, alive, and wide-awake.

“I love . . .” he whispered against her lips.

Did he love her? A rush of pleasure flooded her body.

Everything in her tightened and spiraled. She moaned out in a new climax as he showed her his love with the thrust of his body.

“ . . . making love to you,” he finished.

“Lucian?” she whispered. She wanted him to repeat what he’d said. Had she missed part of it, or had he stopped before declaring love? With her racing heart, she feared she had dreamed the words. She had gone ahead of him in her affection.

He shuddered and groaned as his thrusts became frenzied. She held him and stroked his back and lower still. His tension was palpable. Then he seemed to shudder all over as he tucked his head into her shoulder and groaned.

His breathing was harsh as he slid his hand down her arm and threaded her fingers with his. A few seconds later he pulled away, separating their bodies. Even though she was sated and replete, the loss was if he had ripped part of her away.

Confusion drained part of her pleasure as he slid out of the bed. He hadn’t said he loved her, but his gentle handling made her believe he did. Or perhaps her hopes had blinded her to reality. Tears stung her eyes. She loved him, and after tonight she couldn’t imagine how she would face a life apart from him.

Lucian tried to remain calm as he crossed the room to the pitcher of water Evans had taken to leaving in his room at night. He’d nearly poured out his heart to Velvet and had barely stopped himself. She didn’t want a barren marriage, and that was all he had to offer. To declare his love would only trap her even more into a relationship she would find immoral.

As he removed the sheath that would prevent pregnancy, it seemed a huge barrier between them. But as he considered it, he didn’t come up with any viable options. He washed off and returned to the bed. Now he would have to come clean to her.

Her magnificent mane lay tangled against her porcelain skin, and she had an arm over her face. Her back was to him, the smooth curves to her rounded hip beckoning to him and stirring a new interest in making love to her.

He slid in behind her. As his heated body came in contact with her cool skin, he sensed something was wrong. Sharing his warmth with her, he curled around her and brought the covers up over her shoulder after he pressed a lingering kiss to the curve of her upper arm. “Velvet, are you all right?”

“I didn’t know it would be so wonderful,” she choked out.

Was his stoic Velvet emotional? He stroked her skin and cradled her. Perhaps he should tell her the depth of his feelings for her.

“Will relations be like this between you and your—Miss Bowman, when you are married?”

Her words came out crowded together, as if the idea couldn’t be restrained, but they cut nonetheless.

He rolled to his back and stared at the ceiling. “No.”

He contemplated the years ahead of him with a woman who loved his money, not him. Sexual relations with her would feel good, but he didn’t see how he could ever feel the same way about Miss Bowman that he felt about Velvet. Truth was, it might not be long before he simply suppressed any physical needs with sea bathing to the point of exhaustion.

He wanted to share his bed, his life, his hopes and dreams, with Velvet.

“I haven’t actually proposed to Miss Bowman,” he pointed out.

“How can you know it won’t be the same?”

“Velvet, I know. This between us is rare and special.”

She made a noise that sounded suspiciously like a sniff and sat up. “I should go back to the other room. I wouldn’t want Iris to wake and wonder where I am.”

He didn’t want her to go. Holding out the only crumb he had to offer, he said, “I thought you wanted me to tell you of the night her mother died.”

She didn’t answer as she reached for the dressing gown tangled at the bottom of the bed.

He risked everything and said, “It would never be the same with Miss Bowman, because her only affection is for my wealth, and I don’t love her. I love you, Velvet.”

V
elvet hesitated. Lucian loved her. The words filled her with joy. He loved her. His tenderness was not a sham. With every kiss, every caress, every moment in his arms, her conviction had grown stronger. He had been showing her, just as coming to his room and making love with him was her way of showing him the depth of her feelings.

“Lucian,” she sighed.

“I love you,” he repeated firmly. “You make me feel whole. No one else has ever done that.”

He reached out to caress her shoulder, his hand sliding down her bare arm evoking a soul-deep yearning for him. Her bones seemed to melt when he touched her. If only they could hold the rest of the world at bay.

No matter what had happened with his wife, she would love him until the end of time. He was the man she was meant to be with. If only she could stay here in his bed forever.

Yet, a certain wariness kept her happiness from being complete. He loved her, she loved him, but he was still suspected of murdering his wife.

How could she stand in the way of Lucian silencing his accusers? His life would be better if he were not hounded by the past. He’d hinted at marriage, but a marriage to her might harm in more ways than she could count.

She could do nothing to restore his reputation. With her own past, she could do more to destroy it. And she had political enemies who might interfere with his current businesses.

Every fiber of her being screamed at her to turn around and throw herself into his arms, but instead she plucked at the bedspread. “Tell me of the night Iris’s mother died.”

Lucian released a deep breath. She was so aware of his every movement. But she couldn’t turn to look at him or he would see the yearning in her face.

“Why was she so angry she clawed you?” Velvet prompted. If he trusted her enough to tell her what happened, perhaps she could help absolve him of the guilt he felt.

“She wanted to go to London. I forbid it.”

Lucian left a great deal unsaid. Velvet suspected she might have to drag every kernel of the truth out of him. “Why?”

“She gloated about giving other men healthy children.”

“Children?” squeaked Velvet. She only knew of Iris. Was one of the graves in the churchyard for a healthy child? Shock made her hands curl into the covers, and she went cold all over with gooseflesh raising her skin. She drew up the covers and brought her knees to her chest.

Lucian sat up and pulled her dressing gown around her shoulders. That he cared if she was cold, even as she interrogated him, brought a lump to her throat.

He slid out of the bed and pulled his own dressing gown on. “Iris has a half brother, born before my marriage. He is apprenticed to a master shipbuilder in Bristol. After I learned of him, it took me some time to track him down. He was not raised as a gentlemen, so apprenticing him to a tradesman seemed the best I could do for him.” Lucian snorted. “I am sure there are those who must believe he is my bastard, but he is not.”

Velvet was ashamed that she had questioned his goodness. And if his wife had been so unkind, how must her demands for children have seemed to him?

Lucian moved to the fireplace and tossed another log inside. The fire crackled and a shower of sparks cascaded upward. He sat in the wing chair facing her.

“After she attacked me,” he said, sliding his hand along his scars and staring into the fire as if he didn’t dare watch her response, “I threatened to kill her if she stayed another second in my presence. If I hadn’t told her I planned to petition Parliament for a divorce, she never would have gone out in the storm. She never would have fallen off the cliff.”

Velvet pushed her arms into the dressing gown sleeves and slid out of the sheets. She stepped up to the chair and stroked his hair. He caught her hand and pulled it down to kiss her palm.

“Do you think she fell accidentally?” she asked carefully.

Lucian rubbed his face. “I don’t know. I’ve always wondered if she deliberately jumped. Until the attack in your room, I’ve always leaned toward her death being accident or suicide. But, I just don’t know. It is possible someone pushed her over the edge.”

“What was the thumping sound?” she asked. Velvet believed him, but she didn’t want to leave any stone unturned. She never wanted to suppress any niggling doubts.

He twisted away from her. “What?”

“Iris heard your argument. She said there was a loud thump, and her mother never spoke again.” Whatever had happened, Lucian needed to let it go.

He considered a moment and then said, “The thump must have been when Lilith threw the bust at me. She knew she’d gone too far. She fled or I might have done her harm.” Lucian’s expression crumpled. “I had no idea Iris overheard.”

Velvet crooned softly to him, “One day you will have to explain to her what happened.”

He shook his head. “I can’t. I hated Lilith. I thought she’d killed Myra in a fit of jealousy, but I never meant for her to lose her life.”

“It’s not your fault,” said Velvet. But guilt didn’t always answer to reason. She knew because she had always borne the weight of responsibility for her brother’s death. She’d believed God was punishing her, but everything in her life had contrived to bring her here where she could no longer hide. If all the bad things hadn’t happened, she never would have found Lucian.

“Much has happened since I arrived.” She was explaining badly, but stumbled on. “I will go to Bath and start a new life if that is what you wish, but I cannot conceive that I will ever feel about another as I feel about you.”

His face twisted. He opened his mouth to speak.

She held out her hand, stopping him. If he insisted on marriage she would fall apart. “I love you, Lucian.”

He moaned and pulled her against him, burying his face in the plush folds of her dressing gown. “Then, please, Velvet—”

She pressed her fingers to his lips. She feared her courage would desert her if he stopped her. “I am not the same person I was when I arrived. I have wrestled with everything I believed was true about me, but I didn’t know who I was. I was sleepwalking through life before. You have made me come alive.”

He kissed her fingers, and flutters stirred in her belly and lower.

“You will never know how thankful I am for that,” she said.

The click of a door made her spring back guiltily.

“Evans, give me another hour,” said Lucian. But there was no response.

Lucian frowned and headed toward the dressing room, where the servant’s door was hidden.

Velvet scurried toward the connecting door. She had no wish to be discovered by Lucian’s manservant. Even if all the servants were aware of how close she was sleeping to Lucian, old habits died hard.

She twisted the knob and entered the dark sitting room. The lamp she had left burning had gone out, and the fire was just a tiny orange glow amidst ash.

Her eyes took a minute to adjust to the darker room, but then she saw the black gaping hole where the door to the corridor should have been.

Her heart squeezed and she ran toward the bed. The covers were tossed back and only Eve lay on the sheets. “Iris!”

The room didn’t contain any sign of the child.

“Why is that door open?” asked Lucian.

“It was locked before I entered your room. I checked it.”

“She must have let herself out. Perhaps she went to the water closet,” said Lucian.

Velvet ran down the hall to the bathroom. Iris was not inside. Lucian bumped into her.

The welling of panic climbed in Velvet. Oh God, while she had been making love to Lucian, Iris had been stolen from her bed. She turned and gripped his dressing gown. “Someone has taken her.”

“No, she has probably just gone looking for you.” Lucian looked around. “I will check upstairs.”

“She’s outside,” insisted Velvet. Fear clawed at her throat and filled her with cold dread.

“She wouldn’t go outside in the middle of the night,” protested Lucian. “She’s afraid of the dark.”

Velvet didn’t want to waste any more time. She’d told him before that Iris believed her mother wanted her to jump from the cliffs. She pushed around Lucian. “I’m checking the cliffs.”

“Wait! If she isn’t upstairs, I’ll wake the servants,” he said as he ran toward the stairs to the nursery floor. “Nothing could be seen outside without lights. Besides, she is wont to hide in the house.”

Velvet ignored the slap of her bare feet against the marble of the entryway and ran to the front door. There seemed a million steps to the drive. “Iris!” she yelled.

The wind whipped her words from her lips and plastered the dressing gown against her flesh as she ran around the house. Indigo clouds scudded across the sky, blocking the light from the moon and stars. The always hungry waves crashed on the shore.

The scrub grass tore at her feet, but Velvet ran toward the cliffs. She cupped her hands around her mouth and shouted. “Iris!”

Was she already too late? Her heart pounded so hard it was all she could hear.

Nothing interrupted the wall of black at the edge of the cliff, not a single little girl in a white nightgown.

“Iris!” Velvet screamed. Tears stung her nose. She couldn’t bear it if something happened to the girl. All the desperation of when her brother had fallen from the bell tower returned to her. This couldn’t be happening again.

Lucian found Iris’s bedroom empty. The schoolroom was empty, and Velvet’s room was empty. His banging on the dressmaker’s door brought Mrs. Whitson from her bed.

“Whatever is going on?” She stood blinking in her doorway with a wrapper held closed at her throat.

“My daughter is missing. Help me look for her.” A mind-numbing alarm began to infiltrate his soul. Iris couldn’t be outside. She had to be hiding in the house. “Iris!”

He had to wake the servants and involve them in the search. Taking the stairs two at a time, he hurtled down to his room and yanked the bellpull viciously. Evans would respond quickly. He raced down to the main floor and burst through the baize-covered door to a part of his house he rarely visited.

He pounded on the door to the Bigsbys’ suite. “Get up.”

After an endless delay, Mrs. Bigsby swung open the door, a huge monstrosity of a bed cap tied under her chin. “What is going on?”

“Get all the servants up. Iris is missing. I want the house searched from top to bottom.”

Her eyes widened.

Mr. Bigsby in his striped nightcap appeared behind his wife. The grizzled old man went white. “I’ll fetch Nellie. She’ll know all of Iris’s favorite hiding spots.”

“I’ll fetch her,” said Mrs. Bigsby.

“I don’t care who the bloody hell fetches whom, just get everyone up and search.”

Lucian turned on his heel and ran toward the kitchen. Perhaps Iris had grown hungry. He crashed into the kitchen. “Iris, are you in here?”

Standing fully clothed in front of the stove, Nellie stirred the coals to life.

“She’s not in here,” said Nellie.

“Have you seen her?” he asked. Thank goodness she was up already.

Nellie turned slowly. “She is with Miss Campbell, is she not?”

“No. Go out to the stables and wake the groomsmen. Tell them to get lanterns and ropes.” If Iris had gone over the cliff, as Velvet feared, he wanted to be prepared.

Velvet’s face had been so pinched, he knew she feared the worst. But Iris was not stupid. She knew the cliffs could be dangerous. She knew her mother had died from a fall. And she had been happy lately. Iris just wouldn’t have gone outside in the predawn hours.

He turned and threw open the doors off the main hall. Dark rooms echoed with his calls.

“Sir, I have your clothes,” said Evans behind him, startling Lucian half to death.

“I don’t need clothes. I need my daughter.” Oh God, where was she? “Iris!”

Mumbling half-broken prayers and pleas, Velvet reached the cliffs. “Iris! Please, God, please, God, let her be all right.”

Then faintly, ever so faintly, a sound like a kitten’s mew arose from beneath the whipping wind.

“Iris, where are you?”

“Here,” was the cry, faint and far away.

Velvet ran toward the sound. “Keep shouting. I’m coming.”

As she homed in on the faint voice, Velvet’s heart squeezed and she could barely breathe. Her legs quivered as she ran along the edge of the drop-off. Every part of her being protested, but if Iris was over the edge, she couldn’t allow her panic to stop her.

Surely, when Lucian finished searching the house he would find them outside. As she neared the blackness that marked the end of land, Velvet called out, “Where are you?”

“Here. Please come get me. I’m cold.”

Velvet dropped to her knees and crawled toward the edge. Her head spun and she kept recalling her brother’s fall, watching him drop and drop to the cobbled stones below. The sickening thud as he hit. Her stomach lurched.

Bile rose in her throat and she fought it.

Looking over the edge, the blackness was almost complete. Then the clouds moved and she saw a patch of white thirty feet below. Velvet closed her eyes. She had to sound calm and reassuring for Iris.

“Are you hurt?” she asked.

“I don’t know,” the girl wailed. “Please get me up. I can’t feel my fingers.”

The clouds continued to move, exposing more and more moonlight. Iris clung over the edge of a rocky ledge, but her purchase looked far from secure. Below her the drop was sheer, another sixty or seventy feet to the ocean.

“Pleeeease!”

“I need you to stay calm,” said Velvet. “Your papa will be here soon. Just hang on.”

Where was Lucian?

“I’m slipping!” screamed Iris.

Her terror echoed in Velvet’s ears. She couldn’t stand by and watch as another child fell. Her brother had cried out before he fell, but she’d hesitated too long before reaching out to save him.

Just to her left the drop-off was less severe, a slope that led to the ledge Iris dangled from. Bits of scrub and grass grew out of the uneven cliff. While the drop was still steep, it was not entirely vertical. If she could get Iris on that small ledge, they both could wait for rescue.