Take Me if You Dare (Entangled Brazen) (9 page)

He tipped his head in Jasmine’s direction and smiled. “Keep him in line and don’t let him get away with too much.” He turned to Ethan, and the two of them shook hands again. Bill clapped Ethan on the shoulder. “Good to see you. Make sure you keep your head down out there.”

Bill walked down the corridor and joined his waiting family.

As she and Ethan walked out to the parking lot, she couldn’t get one of the things Bill had said out of her mind. Losses. How many times had Ethan gone through something like Colombia? Any time he’d given her insight into his job or what he used to do, she’d realized he’d given her a sanitized version of things, but the pain she’d spotted in his eyes at the range and just now was real. Did he ever talk about it or did he just bottle it up inside? He didn’t have the same bottomless look in his eyes as the other contractor at the range, but how many more Colombias would it take before Ethan stopped being Ethan?

The thought of him not being the man she knew tore at her heart.

“Jasmine, where are you going?”

She surfaced from her thoughts and looked up at his puzzled expression. He gestured toward his truck.

“Oh.” She’d almost walked right past it.

He followed her to the front passenger-side door, but instead of putting his key into the lock, he backed her up against the truck, braced his hands near the sides of her head, and trapped her in.

“What’s going on?” He looked almost angry as his gaze searched over her face.

“Nothing —”

“Don’t.” He placed his finger against her lips for a brief moment. “We may not have been together for that long, but I know when something is up with you. Is it about the call you got earlier from Tab?”

“No. It’s nothing.” She shrugged it off.

“Is it because of what Bill thought about us being a couple?”

“No, of course not.” She met Ethan’s hard stare and it took her a minute to figure out. They’d never fought the whole time they’d been together, but for some reason, leashed tension rolled off of him in waves. “Knowing your job is dangerous is one thing, hearing someone actually say it made it real.”

“But a lot of the times, it isn’t. I told you that.” He leaned down until they were eye level. “What’s really going on? You were happy until you got that phone call.”

She didn’t want to lie to him, but raking up the whole Brenda and Greg issue was out of the question. If he wanted to scrap it out, they’d do it over what was truly bothering him. She held up her chin. “And you were happy until we saw Bill. What happened in Colombia?”

Chapter Fourteen

Anger simmered down to confusion. Maybe he hadn’t heard it right. Ethan moved his hands from the truck and stood up straight. “You want to know about Colombia?”

“Andrew said you would fill me in on what you do, but you never talked about what Bill mentioned. Is it classified?”

“That’s where you want this conversation to go.”

“Yes.”

Fuck.
Ethan resisted punching the side of the truck. Promises from Drew or not, she didn’t have a right to ask him this. He didn’t owe her anything, but she was asking him, and he wouldn’t lie. That’s what her ex had done, and no way in hell was he going down in history compared to that bastard in her mind. No. This was a good thing. She needed to hear what was real.
He
needed to hear what was real. Then, he could finally put an end to the fairy tale he’d been spinning in his mind for the past week about the two of them.

“A little over six months ago, I was on a security detail assigned to escort the secretary of commerce in Latin America. We were taking his delegation to a meeting at a hotel in Bogotá when Jax spotted a suspicious guy walking away from a delivery van parked near the hotel. When we checked it out, we found enough explosives inside of it to level half of a city block.”

“I don’t understand.” Her brow crinkled in confusion. “What you guys did is a good thing, right? You stopped a major catastrophe.”

He looked past her shoulder. “Yeah, but that’s not the whole story. Evidence from the van led us to a terrorist cell in the city. We went in with the Colombian strike force when they raided the apartment. The strike force lost someone. Dario Ortiz.” Ethan released a ragged breath. “And he was my friend.”

A breeze blew over them and moisture cooled in his eyes. Looking up, he squeezed his lids shut, and memories, vivid and clear, came back to him. Raiding the apartment, taking down the targets, hearing the words “man down” in his com set, and looking back to see Dario lying on the ground. As they’d tried to keep him stable until the ambulance arrived, Dario had kept reaching for his pocket. He’d known what he’d wanted, and he’d found it for him—a picture of Elaina and Gabriel. Dario had died clutching it in his hand.

“Ethan, I’m sorry. I shouldn’t have pressed the issue.” She laid her hand on his chest. “I didn’t realize what I was asking.”

He focused back on her face. “No, you needed to hear it. That’s why Drew and Devin don’t write off mental well-being as some sort of a perk that’s included in the benefit package.” He shook his head, and drew from the new sense of irritation rising up in him to clear away the rest of the memory. “What happened to Dario is just a good reminder for me about why I’ve never committed to someone. It’s too much to ask.”

Her eyes widened with a look of shock. “Wait, no, you can’t do that. You can’t just assume what’s too much for someone else.”

Assume?
He’d lived through watching his mom hide her grief every anniversary, birthday, and holiday after his dad died. No, he wasn’t making some half-ass assumption. He knew.

Jasmine lifted her other hand to his chest. She had tears in his eyes…
for him
?

He shook his head. Pity never helped anybody. Reality always set things straight.

“Would you want to be in a committed relationship with someone who’s gone half the time to who knows where, on assignments like the one in Colombia?” She recoiled from the snap in his voice. “Would you want to spend your life worrying about if he’s coming home or dealing with what you’ve lost when he doesn’t?”

“You can’t ask me that question.”

“That’s what I thought.”

He started to back away, and she grabbed fistfuls of his shirt. “No, you can’t ask me that question because I’m the wrong woman to ask, and we’re not talking about me. We’re talking about you making stupid assumptions because you’re scared.”

Scared? The word threatened to spark his anger to the next level, but he held it in check…barely. He didn’t want to be a dick to her, but they both needed to stop dancing around the truth.

“The same way you’re scared about being hurt again?” He huffed out a derisive laugh and her shoulders stiffened. The vulnerable look in her eyes almost got to him, but he kept going.

“A lot of people are scared about the same things you are, and most of them get over it. What I’m scared of is leaving someone behind. Look at what Dario did to Elaina. He knew the risks, but he still got married, and now she’s going through hell. She may never get over it.”

“How do you know what she’s going through?” She gripped his shirt tighter. “Have you even asked her how she feels about it? Because if you did, I’m sure if you gave her the choice of having a life with Dario or not being with him at all, she’d choose reliving every day she had with him despite knowing the outcome.”

He snorted. “You honestly believe that?”

“Yes, I do.” Determination lit up her eyes. “We can’t predict what’s going to happen, but having love is worth the risk. If you don’t believe me, I dare you to go back inside and ask Bill and his wife.”

Ethan clamped his mouth shut. He didn’t have to ask. If anybody understood risk, he did, and he’d survived this long because he knew when to take a risk and when to walk away to save his life or to spare the people he cared about unnecessary pain. And who was she to talk about risk? Didn’t she realize that because of her experience with Greg, she’d created her own set of rules to live by when it came to relationships?

He moved in closer. “And what about you, Jasmine? What type of risks are you willing to take?”

She visibly swallowed and some of the light went out of her eyes. “I’m willing to risk another wonderful week with you.” She’d probably meant it to sound like a gift, but instead it came out like more of a loss.

He could argue with her about it, but just as she felt like she was the wrong woman to answer his question, he was the wrong man to pass judgment over her decision. None of it was fair, but he didn’t want to spend the short time they had left together debating about it.

He took her by the hips and pulled her flush against him. “I’ll take it.”

She wound her arms around his neck, and as soon as his mouth touched hers, need spiked through him. He ground his lower body into hers, torturing himself as his cock hardened almost to the point of pain, but he welcomed it. He deserved to ache for bringing up the memory that put that haunted look in her eyes. She wasn’t spending two weeks with him to deal with his personal shit. He’d offered her more of what they’d shared in Miami.

One more week…

A different kind of ache opened up in his chest, and he mentally dodged it. Threading his fingers into her hair, he held Jasmine even more firmly in place, and glided his tongue through every space, curve, and hollow of her mouth.

No, he couldn’t have her forever, but for now, she was his. He’d find a way to make up for hurting her and give her all the happiness he could for one more week.

Chapter Fifteen

Ethan jerked awake at the sound of explosions and squealing tires. He tensed and sat up, quickly orienting himself to the surroundings. He was in Jasmine’s apartment, in bed, alone, and he didn’t like it one bit. Searching around on the comforter, he found the remote and turned off the flat screen hanging on the wall across from him. Jasmine was putting the final touches on her report and had needed space. Right after dinner, he’d left her working at the table. The boredom of Tuesday night reruns must have finally knocked him out.

Yawning, he reached for his phone on the nightstand to check the time, and an icon on the view screen caught his attention. Blinking away the haze of sleep, he sat up on the side of the bed, staring at the number of the call he’d missed a half hour ago.

Elaina?

He hit the call back button and by the third ring, he’d realized he hadn’t worked out what to say. Just then, she answered the phone.

“Elaina, it’s Ethan. Are you all right? Did I wake you? You didn’t leave a message, but I thought I should call. I’ve been meaning to call.” He smoothed his palm down the leg of his sweatpants.
Damn
, he sounded like an idiot.

“No, Ethan, it’s okay.” He heard joy in her lightly accented voice. “I was going to call you back in a little while. I didn’t leave a message because I wanted to talk to you and say thank you for Gabriel’s gifts.”

The gifts…
When he’d placed the order, one of the items wasn’t in stock. He hadn’t expected them to arrive this soon.

“He loves the trike.” She chuckled. “I have to watch him, though. His legs don’t touch the ground when he’s on it, but once he starts peddling, he’s fast.”

“Is he still too young for it?”
Shit,
he’d blown it. He should have asked Jasmine’s opinion before buying it.

“No, no, it’s perfect. He’s growing so fast. You should see him, and the stuffed sports balls you sent, guess what? The first one he grabbed was the football. No, wait; you call it a soccer ball.”

Ethan breathed out a laugh remembering how his friend kept up with his favorite teams. “Dario would have loved that.”

He listened as she went on to tell him more about Gabriel and the birthday party she and Dario’s family had for him two weeks ago. He was one now. It sounded like the perfect day.

During an extended silence, he got up his courage and asked, “How are you doing, Elaina?”

“Well”—she paused—”I have good days and bad days, more good days now, like on Gabriel’s birthday. Of course, I wished Dario had been there, but at the same time I feel blessed.”

“Blessed?” The word, flavored with doubt, was out of his mouth before he realized. “I mean…I know how it is. My dad was killed in action, and it was hard on my mom when we lost him. You don’t have to hide how you feel. You can be straight with me.”

Elaina sighed. “I hate that his job took him away from us.” She sniffed as if she were crying. “Right after Dario died, I was so angry at him for leaving me alone.”

Ethan closed his eyes. He was such an ass. She didn’t need him to remind her how hard things were.

“But when I married him, I knew the risks,” she added, “but I didn’t want to take the chance of missing out on something wonderful with him, and it was.” Her voice softened as she continued to cry. “And even though he’s gone, I’m not alone. I’m able to see him in Gabriel. Oh, I’m so sorry.” She sniffed loudly. “I called to say thank you, not get all weepy on you.”

Ethan cleared his throat, but the tightness didn’t go away. “It’s all right.”

They talked a few minutes longer, and when the call ended, Elaina promised to email him pictures of Gabriel while he promised to visit. He set the phone on the nightstand and lay back down on the bed.

In his mind, he weighed Jasmine’s argument about love against Elaina’s confession. Maybe he could see their perspective, but he’d also witnessed the emotions that had passed over Dario’s face when he’d realized he wasn’t going to make it—pain, anger, disbelief…
regret
.

Was it so wrong not to want regrets about hurting someone?

Tired of running it through his mind, he got up to check on Jasmine. It was late, she needed to get a good night’s sleep, and honestly, he just needed to hold her.

He walked down the hallway and stopped just short of the living room. Jasmine was still at the table, wearing one of his army-logo T-shirts, pen in hand, her head resting on her folded arms in front of her laptop.

Walking quietly next to the chair, he squatted down and stared at her face, relaxed with the peace of sleep. Her nose wrinkled, and she made a soft snuffling sound.

He grinned and slid the pen out of her fingers. She didn’t move. He saved the document he saw on the screen and gently shook her by the shoulder.

“Jasmine.”

“Mmm, tired.” She snuggled her head into the crook of her arm and mumbled out more unintelligible words.

“I know, baby. Come to bed.” He slid his arms under her and eased her toward his chest.

More asleep than awake, she moved obediently into his arms and rested her head on his shoulder. Carefully, adjusting her weight, he looked around to make sure the apartment was still secure, and shut off the lights.

She snuggled her head into the side of his neck and sighed. “Ethan…”

As he held her closer to him, a fierce protectiveness, along with a rush of emotions he didn’t fully understand, swelled in his chest. He’d defended hills and valleys in foreign countries, laid his life on the line for his brothers and sisters downrange, but the way she whispered his name, trusting him, holding on to him, made him feel weak and strong all at the same time.

He carried her down the hallway into the bedroom and tucked her in bed. When he crawled into the other side, she immediately curled her body against his and used his chest as a pillow. Wrapping his arm around her, he pressed a light kiss to the top of her head and breathed in the faint scent of her perfume. She felt so right in his arms, too right to let go.

I’ll miss this…

Before he knew it, a list started forming in his mind of all the things he liked about her…loved about her. All the things he could have never known would start to matter to him when he’d stated his case to her for two more weeks so he could get her out of his system.

Elaina’s words took root in his mind.
I didn’t want to take the chance of missing out on something
…

When he and Jasmine walked away from each other, is that what they’d be doing, missing out on something?

She stretched against him in her sleep, and her hand smoothed down his stomach. His cock stood up in anticipation, but he stalled her hand underneath his before it reached its destination.

Okay, that was one of the obvious things he’d miss, but she was the type of woman who deserved more than just sex. She deserved what Greg had promised but hadn’t delivered, but he wasn’t ready to give her a ring, a home, and a family, either. On the other hand, he also wasn’t ready to just drop her off at the airport at the end of the week and watch her walk out of his life.

He released a heavy breath. What if Jasmine and Elaina were right and having someone special around was worth the risk? If that were true, Jasmine could be the one. A thought flitted into his mind about calling his mom, but he nixed it. Calling her about Jasmine would just get her hopes up about him settling down.

Another thought drifted in of introducing Jasmine to his mom and stepdad. No doubt, they’d like her, but doing something as serious as that would mean they were in a relationship. But did it have to be a relationship right off the bat? Couldn’t it just be an experiment for both of them to see what happened? They could take it slow, really, really slow and just focus on doing more of what they’d been doing for the past two weeks—enjoying each other.

He rolled over on the mattress and spooned her against him. The same jittery sensation he often felt before a risky assignment flooded through him but he shoved it aside. No, this was right. They were too good together. They had to try, and she had to see that, too. Ethan closed his eyes, willed his heart to slow down, and let the gentle rise and fall of Jasmine’s breathing guide his own. He wasn’t asking her for forever, just a chance.

…

Jasmine balanced the toes of her high-heeled pumps on the bottom rung of the counter stool she was sitting on and bit her thumbnail as she reviewed the final page of the report.

She’d made all the last-minute changes the bosses had insisted upon and updated her slides on the computer. The report was a sound analysis of Bode-Wynn and presented workable options for a great wellness program.

“Hey.” Ethan walked through the kitchen, eyes heavy from sleep as he scrubbed a hand over the shadow of his morning beard. The waistband of his sweatpants rode low on his abdomen and drew attention to the dusting of hair arrowing down to the hints of an erection he didn’t bother to hide.

“Hey yourself, sleepyhead.” She took a sip of coffee from her mug and set it back down on the counter.

Walking up behind the chair, he wrapped his arms around her shoulders and nuzzled the collar of her blouse aside to press a kiss to her neck. “I’m entitled. I didn’t sleep well.” Ethan inhaled deeply and rocked her gently. “I missed you not being in bed.”

“Poor baby,” she crooned, reaching up and combing her fingers through his short hair. “I guess my tough guy has limits.”

“And so do you, but after today, you can relax.” He stood and hugged her back against his bare chest. “Did you finish it?”

“Yes,” she sighed, staring at the pages in the binder in front of her. “I just hope it meets all of Andrew’s requirements. I know Ted said no one will hold it against me, but if Andrew doesn’t give us the contract, I’ll feel terrible.”

Ethan turned the stool around until she faced him. Bracing his hands on the countertop, he trapped her in and leaned over. “He will.” The angles of his jawline matched the look of determination in his eyes. “You’ve got talent and a lot of great ideas. If Drew doesn’t see that in your report, he’s blind.”

Bemused, she stared at him, slightly stunned by the intensity in his expression. He and Andrew were strong acquaintances; he and Devin Wynn were friends. She’d never expected him to take sides, but apparently he had. Hers.

He leaned in and kissed her with a passion that made it hard to resist not hanging around. Opening her legs as far as her narrow skirt would allow, she drew him closer, and glided her fingers over the hard ridges of muscle on his abdomen. As she savored the tastes of cool minty toothpaste and coffee, her breasts grew heavy with a needy ache, and she moaned in frustration.

Now wasn’t the time. She had an important meeting to think about.

She pulled back, but he kept his hands in place on the counter behind her and remained a few inches away.

“Leave early or at least come home on time tonight,” he said. “I want us to have a full evening together.” He started to say more but stopped.

“All right.” She searched his face, trying to gauge his mood. “Any special reason?”

His mouth tilted upward with a slow smile. “Other than missing you and wanting to spend more time with you, no.”

“Okay, I’ll try.” She rested her hands on his bare chest and pressed a couple of quick kisses to his lips.

Ethan moved back to let her stand, and she picked up the report along with her portfolio from the counter and walked over to the sofa.

He sat down on the stool she’d vacated and watched her zip her portfolio and the binder into the side pocket of her laptop bag and shrug into her blazer.

“Call me right after your meeting,” he said.

She frowned. “But won’t you be in the sim lab this morning? You won’t have your phone.”

“True, but I think I can engineer a reason to sneak out to my desk and check it.”

She feigned a chastising look. “That isn’t fair to the lab techs. You know the rules about not interrupting the sim tests.” His brow rose with a pleased look in her using one of the terms he’d taught her during the past week.

He grinned. “A few free lunches will cover it.”

Jasmine laughed as she picked up her purse and slipped the strap of her bag over her shoulder. “So, I’ll see you tonight?”

“I’ll be here.” He gave her a lopsided smile and blew her a kiss.

She caught the invisible kiss in her hand and paused. Over the past few years she’d received flowers, fancy trips, and jewelry as gifts, but Ethan had given her so much better. He’d given her his encouragement, a shoulder to cry on, reasons to laugh, and he’d made love to her in all the ways that made her knees weak.

And I don’t want to give him up.

But she had to. A pang of sadness tugged in her heart, and she blinked back a sudden rush of moisture in her eyes. Smiling wistfully, she blew her kiss back to him and walked out the door.