Take Me Now (6 page)
Ryan is waiting by my car when I get out of work. It was one hell of a day, and I’m grateful that Lauren has already left. Thank goodness she didn’t catch me with Eric, because ever since our showdown at his house, she’s been punishing me with a variety of menial tasks. Today, I had to carry fifty-pound boxes of paper up the steep flight of stairs leading to the office. They were heavy and dirty, and I thought I was going to topple backwards and break my neck at least a dozen times.
My appearance was pretty disheveled after that but she didn’t care. She sent me to pick up her lunch at an exclusive restaurant downtown where there was absolutely no available parking. I ended up stowing my car in a garage eight blocks away. When I arrived, the
maître
d’ refused to acknowledge my presence as he continued to seat the well-dressed patrons who waltzed right by me like I didn’t exist. When I was finally granted the privilege of paying for her take-out order, the price was double what she gave me and I had to dip into my own wallet to cover the tab. Running back to the garage, I turned over my ticket only to discover I didn’t have enough money on me to pay for the fare. When I started to freak out, the attendant took pity on me and let me drive away when I promised to mail in a check.
But my ordeal didn’t stop there. When I got back, Lauren immediately had me get to work reorganizing the filing room containing years’ worth of old copies of the
Gazette
. It’s a monster task that no intern has ever completed in the history of the newspaper. She gave me a deadline of Friday for getting it all done. And just when I thought I would collapse from hunger and thirst, she ordered me to drop everything and go to the post office to pick up the mail.
I have no hope of ever being able to write something for the paper again. She even took the two stories I was working on away from me and said that she would finish them herself. Of course, they were the ones dealing with Eric and Will. She forced me to turn over my notes and any research I’d already conducted. I wouldn’t be receiving any credit on the byline, either. Of which she took remarkable pleasure in informing me.
All I can do now is count the days until my imprisonment is over. I have to stay and finish out the internship, but that’s not to say Lauren’s going to write a glowing letter of recommendation to my advisor when it’s all over. I could be suffering for nothing only to have my credits revoked by a bad review from Lauren. So even if I want to sulk in her presence, I can’t. I have to kiss her ass and hope that I’m able to salvage some part of this wretched experience.
I really want to pretend I don’t see Ryan standing there and hit the nearest liquor store. I can lock myself in my dorm room and drink myself into oblivion before the whole process starts up again in a few hours. And that’s not even counting the gala that’s looming on Friday. Lauren made it clear that it’s a requirement that I attend with Will but she’s not giving me any time to go back and change. I have to show up to work in my dress which will no doubt be ink smudged by the time I get there while everyone is milling around in their finery. I probably won’t even be allowed to brush my hair or spritz on some perfume. She’s expecting Cinderella to go to the ball in rags. Yep, the joke is on me.
“Get in,” Ryan commands, holding the door open to his Jeep. He has the top down and it’s a beautiful night. Some part of me yearns to feel young and alive again. I can’t let this entire summer pass by in drudgery.
“I haven’t had anything to eat or drink since seven o’clock this morning. Can you please take me somewhere, even if I have absolutely no money? I promise I’ll pay you back.” I give him my most pitiful, beseeching expression and collapse into the front seat.
He nods and looks like he wants to kill somebody but he keeps his mouth shut.
The balmy night air feels good against my skin and my eyes start to close.
“Hey, don’t go falling asleep on me yet. I have to get you fed.” Ryan turns into the nearest shopping plaza and pulls up outside a pizzeria. Lethargic and practically comatose, I fumble with the door handle, but Ryan opens it for me, placing his arm around my waist to keep me upright. The hostess leads us to a table for two, and I stumble on the way and nearly go down. Thank goodness Ryan’s holding me up or I would have made a spectacle of myself.
Sliding back my chair, he deposits me in my seat and gives our order to the hostess. He’s not pulling any punches. He knows my blood sugar level must be at an all time low. He glances at me across the table in concern but he doesn’t force me to speak. When our beverages arrive, he makes me drink the whole thing before signaling for another. I start to revive by the time the pizza comes, and half the tray is gone before I even look up at him.
“I never thought I’d say this, but maybe you would’ve been better off if she caught you kissing Will instead.” Ryan pries a napkin out of the dispenser on the table and wipes his hands.
“How did you know…?” I’m shaking with rage. How dare Lauren discuss my love life with him!
“I didn’t hear it from my stepsister. Calm down.” He sits back in his chair and examines me closely. “My dad told me after Lauren had a meltdown on the phone with him. He wanted me to warn you to watch your back.”
“Your dad always did like me.” The corner of my mouth twitches despite how dejected I feel. “He never pushed us together like Lauren’s trying to do.”
“Wait. Hold up. What…?” Ryan appears genuinely confused. Way to go, big mouth. I may have just tiptoed into a subject I don’t have the energy to discuss.
“I honestly don’t get what she’s all about, Ry.” I’m running on empty but he deserves to know where I’m coming from. “First, she’s trying to keep me away from you. Then she’s going ballistic when she catches me with another guy like I’m cheating on you or something when we’re not even going out.”
He’s silent as he fiddles with the placemat. Ut oh, what’s this all about? He’s not going to go and ruin everything by saying he likes me now, is he? He better not. We’re too good together to get caught up in some romantic bullshit. I definitely don’t feel that way about him, and he better not say he feels that way about me. I’m at my breaking point. There’s only so much drama I can take before I completely lose it.
“Ry, listen to me. She’s just trying to mess with our heads. You’re too important to me to play with your emotions like that. We’re not on some kind of reality show. This is our lives. We’ve been friends longer than I can remember and I’m not gonna let her come between us with these ridiculous schemes of hers. Don’t even think about telling me you’re in love with me or anything like that, or I’m gonna get up and walk out that door.” The longer I talk, the louder my voice is getting, and people are starting to stare at our table. I can’t help it. I’m too worked up. Lauren is dismantling my life piece by piece. I’m going to be left with nothing by the end of the summer.
“I care you about, Ivy. I always will. I don’t know what it is I feel for you, but it makes me crazy to think you’re kissing other dudes.” He’s exasperated as he props his elbows on the table. “I’ve always been the number one guy in your life and I hate the thought of being replaced by someone else. Does that mean I’m in love with you? I don’t know. You tell me.”
“I knew the older we got things would start to get complicated between us. It’s not easy for a guy and a girl to be friends. It’s just not. I think we’ve survived together this long because the two of us have never seriously dated anyone else before.” Something inside of me shifts as Ryan casts me a mournful glance. He is in love with me. He doesn’t have to say it. I can feel it. Oh no, what am I going to do now?
“Will was it for you. I figured with him back in town, I’d be stuck playing runner-up for your attention. But who the hell is this Eric guy? You’ve never even mentioned him.” He can’t even look at me right now. Somewhere along the line I betrayed him, but I don’t know how.
“Ry, it all happened so fast. Something just clicked with him. I can’t explain it. I had no intentions of pursuing him, especially when Lauren’s so into him. And when I saw Will at the theater, all of those old feelings of inadequacy came rushing back again. I didn’t even have time to process them when I bumped into Eric. He made me feel wanted—good about myself, even. Like he immediately accepted me for me, no questions asked. I didn’t have to prove myself to him or change to fit whatever he was looking for. We just clicked on the spot.” The hurt on Ryan’s face is so intense I stop talking even though I could go on all night about Eric. It’s not fair to cause Ryan any more pain. I don’t think I could stomach listening to him go on and on about some girl he just met either. Some type of jealousy factor would rear its ugly head, I’m sure.
“Would you two lovebirds like the check?” Our waitress begins clearing the table, and I’ve never felt more awkward in my life. Society doesn’t know how to handle platonic friendships. To the outside world, we must look like this cute couple even though I’m nearly five years older than him. I’ve always appeared young for my age so it’s no wonder people are confused when they see us together. We’re not snuggling in the corner. We’re not even holding hands. But we’re alone together. That’s all it takes.
“Yes, please,” Ryan says curtly. I never meant to lead him on but somehow I have.
“Don’t listen to Lauren, Ryan. She doesn’t even know what she’s talking about.” I tilt my head and search his eyes imploringly.
“But what if she does? From my end at least…I mean, isn’t it obvious?” He drums his fingers on the table. “I saw you, Ivy.”
“Okay, what’s that cryptic message supposed to mean?” This conversation has gone in so many different directions that my head is spinning.
“I saw you…naked.” He barely whispers the word and at first I’m not sure what he said.
“There’s no possible way you saw…” I start but he holds up a hand to stop me from continuing.
“Do you remember last summer when you came over my apartment complex to go swimming in the pool?” He wants to get this off his chest for some reason. Maybe I should just let him and get it over with. I certainly don’t want to hear it but it may clear up a few things about how he’s been acting around me.
“Yeah, so? We didn’t go skinny dipping or anything.” I laugh but it’s half-hearted.
“Well, the bathroom was being remodeled and my mom told you that you could change in my room, right?” I nod, the enormity of the situation beginning to dawn on me. “I heard what she said and I hid in my closet in order to jump out and scare you when you walked in. But you didn’t give me a chance.” He swallows hard, blushing. “You already had your shirt off before you even closed the door. You weren’t wearing a bra so I couldn’t very well barge out of the closet while you were topless. But I’m a guy, Ivy. I couldn’t help but watch.” He pauses again. “I saw everything. I mean everything. Especially when you checked yourself out in my full-length mirror.”
My cheeks are on fire as the memory of that day comes flooding back. It was a good five minutes or so that I examined myself in that mirror before putting on my bathing suit. I was completely naked for an extended period of time. I thought I was alone in the room. I had no idea I was being watched. In fact, I felt a little naughty being like that in Ryan’s room. Little did I know, he was in there the whole time.
“I haven’t been able to get that image out of my head, Ivy.” He’s pleading with me to forgive him but I don’t know if I can. Not yet anyway. I’m too mortified to even be sitting across from him right now. “You’re all I’ve been thinking about for like a solid year.”
“Okay, I’ve heard enough. I’m out of here.” Abruptly, I stand up from the table nearly spilling what’s left our drinks in the process. I try to flee but he grabs my arm.
“Ivy, wait. Let me explain. I’ll pay the check and we can talk about it in the Jeep.” He frantically tries to pull his wallet out of his back pocket with one hand but there’s no way I’m going anywhere with him after a revelation like that. I don’t want to be in his presence at all.
“After hearing that I’m your
Playboy
fantasy? I don’t think so, Ry. I’ll walk back to the office from here and get my car.” I yank myself away from him and reach for my purse. “You don’t need me here anyway. You can just jerk off to me in your imagination.”
I make a move toward the door but he blocks my path. “You’re not leaving until you give me a chance to explain. I wanted to be honest with you. Doesn’t that count for something?”
I slide under his arm before he can trap me against the seat. “Some things are better left unsaid, but I guess you’re too thick to realize that.” I want to disappear into thin air. I can’t shake the mental image of what he’s been doing. It makes me feel cheap, dirty somehow. If I had any doubts about harboring any type of attraction for him, they’re long gone now. I don’t feel the least bit turned on from knowing that he gets off to me. I know guys do things like that…but Ryan? I guess I’ll always think of him as that cute little boy I used to go on the swing set with. And it saddens me that we had to grow up and come to a fork in the road like this.
“Ivy!” He calls after me but I don’t hesitate. I keep going. He can’t follow because he has to pay the check. I have a few precious minutes in order to escape. If I head for the road, he’ll easily find me in his Jeep. Instead, I duck around the back and slide down a wooded ravine. At the bottom, I press my back against a rock and take a deep breath. It’s dark and the mosquitoes are biting but I don’t care. I just needed to get away from him for a while.
I’ll wait here twenty minutes or so and then I’ll try walking back. If he’s waiting for me in the office parking lot, I’ll just ignore him and get in my car. All I need is a little breather to steady my heart rate and clear my head. I’m too embarrassed to face him. I have to collect myself first. It’s not like I’ll never speak to him again or anything. But no one likes to hear that their oldest friend has turned them into a sex object. I didn’t think my day could get any worse. What is it with this family? Are they all out to ruin me through some psychotic joint conspiracy?