Take Me Out (5 page)

I wasn’t sure if my words would start World War III or if he’d even care, but it felt good to get them out. My hurt turned into fury. I didn’t need him, I didn’t need any man in my life, especially a man-whore. I had worked hard enough to restore my own reputation, I wouldn’t let a man drag it back through the mud.
No fucking way!

I had just spent an amazing evening with Landon, I didn’t need to worry about someone like Bentley. Again, without thinking, I pulled out my phone, this time to send Landon a text message.

Had an amazing evening tonight, hope to see you soon. -- xoxo

I laid in my childhood bedroom staring at the canopy covering my antique queen-sized bed. I had loved this room as a little girl because it made me feel like a princess. The good memories of my younger years flooded into my mind, comforting me. My phone buzzing on the nightstand pulled me back into the present.

It was another text message from Shay.

Girl, what did you do? He just made a scene and ran out on Miss Fake Tits!

I laughed at the thought that he’d read my email and ran out on her. For the first time, I felt in control of the situation. I’d won this battle!

But what did I win? Did I even want anything to do with him knowing what I knew? Did I want to be with someone who could spend the night with me and then be out with someone else just hours later? That wasn’t cool at all. We weren’t exclusive but it was just plain tacky.

Landon: Can’t get you out of my mind, baby girl. Dinner this week?

Before I could respond to Landon, my e-mail popped up. With how out of control as my phone was, it was going to be another late night. This time, I figured it was going to be Bentley since he was the only person I had emailed.

To: Charlotte A . Windsor

Subject: I’m Sorry

Date: May 15 00:32

From:
[email protected]

How did you know? Are you following me? I’m sorry. Please meet me. I really would like to explain this to you in person, not over e-mail.

I understand if you never want to see me again.

-B

I couldn’t believe how hurt I was by it all. My chest had a huge gaping hole in it. I’d let my guard down once again and had a man tap dance all over my heart. A single tear streamed down my cheek. I wasn’t sure if I should reply. He wanted to meet me, but I didn’t know if I could bear to see him without bursting into full-blown tears. This man had such a hold over me already. How was it possible that he already had my heart?

To:
[email protected]

Subject: Hurt

Date: May 15 00:38

From: Charlotte A. Windsor

I don’t think I should see you right now. It would be against my better judgment. I know my parents would hear me leaving the house and I just can’t deal with them on top of this right now. Depending on how I feel tomorrow, I may make time for you then.

-Charlie

I knew I was doing the right thing. If I went to see him I was only going to end up more hurt than I already was. Maybe I should just forget about Bentley altogether and get on with my life. There are plenty of guys out there who wouldn’t need to date others behind my back, like Landon. Was I blowing things out of proportion? It wasn’t like we were dating. We’d just seen each other once.  Yeah, it was steamy but we weren’t exclusive. Heck, I was with Landon tonight so I guess I couldn’t really be too upset about it all. I was doing basically the same thing. The difference was, I was doing it in the privacy of my parents’ home, not out on the town.

Maybe Landon could take my mind off of Bentley. I picked up the phone and texted him back, obviously a glutton for punishment.

I would love to. I’m free all week!

Damn, these men were really screwing with my head. So much for a summer as a single woman!

Plugging my headphones into my iPhone and turning on some Bob Marley, I drifted to sleep fighting with myself. In the morning I would go back home and do my best to enjoy my freedom for the summer.

Chapter 4

A Born Fuck Up

(Bentley)

I sat in the breezeway of Charlotte’s apartment all night long but she never came home. Shay made her way through the door around two in the morning and just gave me a look. “She ain’t coming home tonight,” she told me as she stepped around me. I got up to drag my sorry ass home. If there was a chance she might walk through that door, I would’ve camped there all night long.

Charlotte wouldn’t talk to me, she wouldn’t see me and she was ignoring my emails. To her, everything she needed to know could be seen in those pictures. I don’t even know what I would say to her if I had the chance. Maybe if I had her in front of me I would be able to kiss her. Yeah, if I could kiss her, that would help. Then everything would be forgotten. Maybe?

No words would be able to fix what I had done. The tightness in my chest told me that. This was hurt like I had never had the displeasure of feeling before.

All of these feelings were foreign to me. So very new. It scared me, especially when I realized I was going into self-destruct mode. I wished Drew were around to save me from myself. He knew I felt differently about Charlie. Where was he when I needed him? But who was I kidding? Weren’t all women the same anyway? I was probably just saving myself from getting hurt again, just the way Layla crushed me so many years ago.

I figured if I could convince myself that I was really doing myself a favor by getting over Charlie now rather than fucking everything up, eventually I would actually believe it and be okay with being a self-destructive asshole. Wishful thinking.

This whole week has been the biggest mind fuck of my life. I can’t believe after spending the night with an amazing woman, I couldn’t stop myself from being my normal, womanizing self. The reality of it was, I wanted to spend that night with Charlie but was afraid if I told her that she would run.

I paced back and forth in my apartment for a good hour trying to figure out how to fix the mess I’d gotten myself into. I had even stopped and punched a huge hole in the wall right next to the bathroom door. I didn’t know what else to do. Violence had always been an answer for me -- bar fights became a pastime, but this time it didn’t help to take the edge off. She was far deeper than under my skin.

Maybe, in the end, leaving her alone was the best thing for her. It was odd knowing that my concern for her outweighed my want.

The best part of it all... her brother is a business associate of mine. And he just happened to walk in and catch us half dressed in her bed. I thought he was going to kill me right then and there. Dammit.
I can kiss that business relationship goodbye!

Emotions like those were just new. I wondered if that is what love was about. Did I truly love her? To find out, I would have to figure out a way to get her back or figure out a way to forget her. Either way, arguing with myself wasn’t getting me anywhere. I was sure Drew wouldn’t have a problem committing me either -- especially after the past week!

I picked up my phone and dialed my little brother Dallas. “Hey kiddo, what are you up to?”

“Nothing much bro, just enjoying a lovely summer in the city.”

I wanted to beg him to hang out with me for a week. Otherwise, I might end up arrested for stalking, or harassment. Maybe both. There was no way I could stay away from Charlotte. The longer she ignored me, the more I wanted to go over to her apartment and wait until she came home. Yup, I was certified stalker material.
I am so fucked.

“Why don’t I come down to the city for the weekend? I haven’t seen you since you moved in. It’ll be good to catch up a bit,” I said, hoping he wouldn’t notice the desperation in my voice. Thankfully, my little brother was pretty oblivious. If he did realize something was up, he didn’t mention it.

“Sure, head on down. Mi casa, bro,” Dallas said and I could hear the excitement in his voice.

“You bet your ass your
casa is my casa, I pay for that casa, bitch!” And like that I was leaving Boston and Charlotte behind.

I flew down I-95 on my bike, hoping no asshole New Yorkers would run me off the road. God only knew how some of these fucking clowns ended up with their driver’s license. The wind running along my body gave me a sense of clarity with the whole Charlotte situation. It was exactly what I needed.

It wasn’t long ‘til I was pulling into the Greenwich Village neighborhood that my little brother lived in. As I pulled up outside his brownstone, I revved the throttle of my bike and he came barreling out of the front door like a little kid on Christmas morning. I was always surprised he loved me so much still, despite my bailing on him as soon as I could get out of that house. Maybe, in the long run, he understood why I couldn’t stay.

I think I was so comfortable with leaving him on his own at school because he was finally away from that trash bag we called a mother. Once he was on the East Coast, I knew she couldn’t get her grubby paws on him anymore. That was my goal when I encouraged him to go to NYU. Well, that and his brains. The kid was a genius.

His apartment was exactly the way I left it decorated when he moved in at the start of the school year. It was cleaner than my apartment back in Boston.

We sat around and caught up for a couple of hours and it felt like old times. I checked out his final grades for the school year and of course he beamed like a little kid because he made me proud. But he could tell there was something off with me. Being the one who raised him, we had an unbreakable bond that had been tested many times over the years, mostly by our mother.

“Bentley, why are you really here?” His question took me off guard. Was I that transparent?

“Dude, you don’t even want to know everything I’ve gotten myself into and all over a girl too!”

His eyes were wide with amazement. “A girl?”

“Yeah, a girl. A girl I’ve known for like a minute and a half. It’s bad.”

I wanted dinner, but this story was complicated enough that it would take all night to tell. We ordered take-out and I explained everything that had gone on from the first night at Fenway Park up to the other night in the bar with Dena, or as Charlie called her
Miss Fake Tits
.

I had slept with Dena back during my freshman year at BU and never called her again. Like most of the women I had hooked up with over the years, it was a chance meeting in the bar and she was all over me. I figured it couldn’t hurt to cop a couple cheap feels before I headed home for the night. I had no plans to pick her up. It would break my unwritten rule of only having sex once with these girls. It may have made me a complete dick, but it kept things from getting complicated. When you banged them more than once, they automatically started thinking a guy wanted more, or that they actually had a chance for more. Neither of which would ever happen.

There was never a desire for more on my side. Until Charlotte of course. There was just something different about her. I needed more. I wanted her to be mine forever. One night would never be enough.

And I had fucked that all up already.

With my thoughts eating me alive, Dallas chimed back in, “So, what are you going to do to get her back? I mean, you’re pretty much in love with her. You can’t just let her walk away.”

My little brother saw right through me. There were no walls I could put up to keep him out, because he knew me better than anyone.

“I’m not so sure about love, but whatever it was I feel for Charlie... it’s unlike anything I’ve ever felt in my life-- especially for a woman.”

We spent the week hitting up all the normal tourist attractions: Ground Zero, The Empire State Building and Central Park. I spent the entire time trying to get my mind off of Charlie. I wasn’t sure what I should do, but I only had one day to think about it before I went back to Boston.

Even though I wanted to, I knew I couldn’t hide in New York forever. I knew Charlotte wanted nothing to do with me, but I had to e-mail her. She was on my mind and I missed her like crazy.

To: Charlotte A. Windsor

Subject: I’m Still Sorry

Date: May 24 10:10

From:
[email protected]

I know you have no desire to talk to me, but I just wanted to let you know you’re still on my mind. I’m in New York right now and I’m not sure when I’ll be back. I hope you are enjoying your summer.

-B

I knew I would be back in a day. I knew I wouldn’t see her and she wouldn’t reply. Maybe I just wanted to see if there was the chance she would.

Then I looked on Facebook and it felt like someone had stabbed me in my chest. My emotions were flying all over the place.

Charlotte’s Facebook status had been updated with a quote from Tupac Shakur about overanalyzing situations, picking up the pieces and just moving the fuck on.

Over-analyzing and pieces? Yeah that hit the nail right on the head except instead of her moving on, I wish she would talk to me at the very least.

Minutes later, she checked in on Foursquare with some guy named Landon. The door of opportunity before me was slowly closing. The chance for love and a different life was vanishing. All I wanted to do was break everything in sight. If I was in my own apartment, I probably would have. I regretted ever getting involved with her. I wasn’t cut out for relationships. I wasn’t cool, patient or level-headed.

Dallas calmed me down and told me exactly what to do.

I logged into my Twitter account and poured my heart out in 140 characters. Leave it to the eighteen year old to suggest Twitter as my cure all.

Don’t cry when the sun is gone, because the tears won’t let you see the stars.

I hoped Charlotte would see it. Maybe she’d think I was moving on too and be just as hurt as me. Wishful thinking once again.

I was ready to be back in Boston, but tonight I would have a good time with my brother so he believed I was going to be okay.

I sat at the bar as my brother danced with some hot little blonde with a tight ass. He’d grown up so much and I was happy to see him holding his own with the ladies. He was probably the best looking out of all three of us brothers.

Out of the corner of my eye, I saw a leggy red head trying desperately to get my attention. The perfect distraction from my own thoughts. “Let me buy you a drink,” I said as I put out my hand to introduce myself. “Bentley Young”

“Nice to meet you Bentley, Molly McNeil.”

As the evening went on, the alcohol flowed. When Dallas was ready to leave, he had that stunning blonde on his arm. I figured I would stick around the bar for a while and let him have a little fun before I went back to his apartment and possibly make the situation awkward.

But the red-head, Molly, had different ideas. “Let’s get out of here. Come back to my place?” Her breath was warm against my ear as she tried to be sultry, but she came across as easy.

With the heaviness I was still reeling from, I left with Molly on my arm, knowing every moment with her I would be wishing she was Charlotte.

I followed her to her apartment on my motorcycle, pulling it up on the sidewalk in front of her building. When she got out of her car, she grabbed my hand and slowly led me into the lobby. We waited for the elevator in awkward silence. Once inside the elevator, she pushed me up against the wall roughly pressing her mouth against mine. The floors flew by until we hit the fourth and stumbled down the hallway to her door.

After a hot and heavy make-out session, Molly moved her way down my body and unbuckled my belt with her teeth. Next thing I knew, she was going down on me like her life depended on it. If I didn’t have Charlotte in the back of my mind, I would have gotten into it.

A couple deep throats and I was done. I came all over her face, in her mouth and a little on her tits. She loved every minute of it from her comments. I got up and buttoned my pants, fixed my belt and kissed her one last time before walking out her door to head back to Dallas’s apartment, still wishing it had been Charlotte’s mouth on my dick.

As I made it down the hall of her apartment building, I could hear Molly chasing after me. I didn’t look back. How could she not know what she was getting into with a guy like me at a bar? She was just your average bar slut. Did she think I was going to hang around? Set up house with her?

As I reached my bike at the curb, I looked back and saw her half dressed in the doorway of her building. “Did you really expect anything more than this?”

I fired up my Indian and peeled out of the parking spot, never looking back.
Yup, I am a dick.

Once I got to Dallas’s, I passed out praying the next morning I would forget about it all.