Take My Heart (Heroic Rogues Series) (18 page)

“William?” Her soft voice broke the silence.

“Yes.”

“Are you enjoying your stay at the Burwell’s thus far?”

He rolled his head toward her. She lay on her side with her back to him, her raven hair flowing across the white pillowcase.

“Yes. So far my stay has been quite pleasant.” He paused, then asked, “How about you? Are you enjoying yourself?”

Keeping the blankets clutched in her hands, she turned toward him, but stayed as close to her side of the bed as possible. “I really do not know many women here, but they are not allowing me into their circle of friends.”

“If you remember, I warned you.”

“Yes, but I thought I could act as if it did not bother me. Truth be told, I do care what they think of me, and I especially care about what they think of you.”

“Well, if it is any consolation, you are fooling most of them. They actually believe you have given up your former life and are concentrating on your own husband. I commend you for accomplishing that feat.”

She smiled and his anger sapped away. Strange how her smile could do that to him so quickly.

“And, William, I want to thank you for helping me. You did not have to do it, you know.”

“And do what, pray tell? Leave you to the wolves? What kind of man would that make me?” He chuckled. “You know I do it for purely selfish reasons. I do not want them thinking me a mean, contemptible person.”

“No, they would never think that of you. You are a well-respected man in Philadelphia. Everywhere I go people tell me so.”

“Indeed?” He turned on his side, leaning on his elbow. “Who tells you such lies?”

Her gentle laughter softened his heart even more.

“People around town tell me, and they do not lie. You really are a wonderful man. Who else would have put up with the kind of life my sis—” She suddenly broke off her words and her face turned ashen.

“What?” He leaned up more, his stomach clenched in uncertainty.

She swallowed hard. A pasty smile touched her mouth, but didn’t reach her eyes.

“What I meant to say was that people are impressed with the way you publicly handled my past transgressions.”

That wasn’t what she intended to say, yet he had no idea what had been on her mind just then. There for a moment, he thought she was going to say
sister
. If so, why would she say that?

He relaxed back on his elbow. “Thank you.”

“Well, we better get some sleep.” She snuggled into the covers and lay on her back. “You have to get up early tomorrow and win the foxhunt.”

“I do not believe there are winners or losers in this particular sport, my dear. Except for the fox, of course.” He chuckled. “Have you never been to a foxhunt?”

She met his gaze. “No. I stayed home most of the time taking care of my ill father.”

Confusion washed over him. “I thought you told me your sister took care of him.”

Once again, color drained from her face. “Actually, both of us took care of him.”

“Oh, well...I feel sorry for your lack of knowledge on the foxhunt. Just do not let the other women know tomorrow, and you will be just fine.”

“I appreciate the advice.”

He rolled on his back making himself comfortable again, hopefully for the last time. But his mind swam with questions. Of course, it’d been happening quite a bit lately, but tonight he received the impression as if she were purposely trying to hide something from him.

“Mercedes?”

“Yes?”

“I have been meaning to ask since you returned from visiting your sister, but never had the chance.”

“Ask what?”

“How is your sister faring? Is she well?”

Silence followed and he turned his head to see why she hesitated. She chewed on her bottom lip, making her appear much younger. Something pressed on her mind that was certain.

She licked her lips and met his stare. “Well, to be honest she is not doing well at all.”

“What ails her?”

“Do you recall how my father died?”

“I think you mentioned he slowly lost his mind, then his body ceased to function.”

“That is correct. Now my sister is showing the same signs. I am extremely worried about her. I fear she may die, but her stay in the hospital is necessary and certainly creating bills.”

He turned on his side to face her. “Was she like that during her marriage to the earl?”

“I do not believe so.”

“How bad is she?”

“She is in an institution for those who have gone mad.”

“Indeed?” He widened his eyes. “That serious?”

“Yes.”

He reached out and caressed her cheek. “I am sorry.”

Her breath hitched and then a small sigh escaped her throat. His heart picked up rhythm again and he wanted more. With a sinking heart, he knew that would never happen.

“Thank you,” she whispered.

“Are her needs being met?”

It was her turn to widen her eyes. She opened her mouth to speak, but then quickly bit her lip again.

“Mercedes? What is on your mind? What are you avoiding telling me?”

She gave an uneasy laugh. “What I have to ask is really not my place and I do not want my request to upset you.”

He took a lock of her silky hair and rubbed it between his finger and thumb. “You will not upset me.”

“Indeed?”

“I promise.”

She took a deep breath. “I would like to get better care for my sister, but—” She paused. “But she does not have the funds to pay for a professional physician. I was just wondering, if...if...” She bit her lip again.

He smiled and cupped her face. “You were wondering if I could pay for a physician.”

She nodded. “And the hospital stay.”

“And you could not ask me this before now?”

“I was too frightened.”

“Frightened of what?”

“That you would say no.”

She was right. If she had asked him for money the day she came back from New York, he would have refused. But now…well, now their situation was different. Was it because they were in the same bed together and he experienced those feelings awakening inside him again? Or perhaps there was a definite change about her since she returned. Dare he hope she was reforming?

“How much do you need?”

Her lips stretched into a wide grin, her eyes twinkling like midnight stars. She grasped his hand within hers, unaware she’d dropped the blanket, which pulled his attention to her lovely neck.

“Oh, William, thank you. You are such a wonderful brother-in-law.” As soon as the words left her mouth, she stopped. Her jaw dropped and eyes widened.

“Brother-in-law?” he asked.

Her laugh was strained. “I mean my sister has such a wonderful brother-in-law. You do not know how relieved I am at your willingness to help. Indeed, you are a gracious man.”

She would quickly change her mind if she could read his thoughts right now. The longer the slender column of her neck was in view, the more he wanted to take her in his arms and kiss her.

Maneuvering himself, he leaned over her. She withdrew into the bed and her eyes widened. “You better watch what sweet words you say to me, my dear.” He ran his finger over her lips. “I might get the impression you like me.”

Her pretty features broke out into a genuine smile again. “But I do like you.”

Inwardly he groaned, fighting for control. Those weren’t the words he wanted to hear right now. It was hard enough not to act upon his urges. “You have a strange way of showing it when you are sweeter to other men and not your own husband.”

Her other hand slid out from under the covers and touched his cheek, her fingers caressing his skin. “That was a different woman, William. I have changed. You will not see me behaving that way again.”

His breathing became ragged. “Just for humor’s sake, let us say I believe you. Tell me, if you plan on living a proper life, will you allow me in your bed?”

Her chest rose and fell quickly and he was certain his matched the rhythm. “I do not think I am ready,” she answered slowly. “Although in time—”

The stab of rejection dug directly into his heart. He yanked his hand away. “That is what I thought.” Rolling on his side he turned away from her. “I do not wish to hear anymore tales tonight. Good night, Kat.”

He cursed his wandering thoughts. When was he going to learn not to be so gullible?

Morning light peeked through half closed curtains warming Mercedes’ face. She stirred to awareness and the silky sheets rubbed against her arms. Her mind cleared a little more. Last night had come to a terrible close. When she recalled the defeating way the conversation had ended with William, her heart withered in agony.

Yet, other memories came sneaking through, those which happened to her during her sleepless night.

Every time her leg bumped into William’s she awakened and scooted to the side of the bed. At one point she found herself curled against his muscular arm, and the memory still made her sigh with pleasure. Once during the night, she awakened to his arm wrapped around her waist, but when she moved he turned, facing the opposite direction. Why hadn’t she stayed on her side of the bed like she’d wanted?

Still half-asleep, she rolled onto her side and reached for him, but the space next to her was empty. She came fully awake and glanced around the room. William stood by the window peering through the slits of the curtains into the yard, and she sighed with relief.

He looked so handsome in his beige shirt and coffee-colored breeches. His mouth turned down in a frown and his brows creased. She’d give anything to know what was on his mind. What worries rolled around in his head? The hollow, faraway look in his eyes revealed his inner turmoil.

She lifted on her elbow and swiped the long hair from her face. The small movement caught his eye and his soft gaze stayed on hers. At this moment, she wanted the unobtainable. She wanted him as her husband in all sense of the word. She didn’t know who to blame—her father for sending the wrong woman to Philadelphia to marry Mr. Braxton, or for her sister for the role she played in this game of deceit.

Mercedes’ love for William hadn’t developed out of revenge for her sister’s actions. The deep swell in her chest revealed an inner emotion for the incredibly kind man. A permanent love. Her mouth turned dry and her heart hammered out of control. She had always wanted a man like William, and now she had one but couldn’t do anything about it.

“Good morning, William.” Although interest still touched his face, his jaw hardened.

“Good morning, Mercedes,” he answered in a tight voice. “Did you have a pleasant rest?”

“When I finally fell asleep, I slept fine.”

He pulled away from the window and slowly came toward her. “Why could you not sleep?”

“I think the different bed kept me awake.” She twisted the sheet between shaking fingers.

He sat on the mattress beside her. “Or was it the company you shared the bed with?”

“No, it was not the company.”

“Are you certain? I know I did not sleep very well because of who lay next to me.” He touched her cheek then trailed his fingers down her neck in a tender caress.

Her heart hammered. His touch made it difficult to breathe. Another knot formed in her throat, harder to force down this time. “Did I toss and turn and keep you awake?”

The corner of his mouth lifted in a teasing grin. “Oh, yes, my dear, and it kept me alert for most of the night.”

“Forgive me.”

He chuckled. “I believe you have misunderstood. Every time you turned, you cuddled against me.” His gaze dropped with his hand as it swept over her shoulder. “All night you were lying next to me and I nearly couldn’t contain my pleasure.”

Her face burned from embarrassment. “Once again, I am sorry.”

“Do not be. It is a feeling I have not known for quite some time.” His grew husky. “You are very beautiful while you are asleep… You are especially beautiful now.”

“William...”

He pushed her back on the bed. Winding a lock of her hair through his fingers, he continued to stare into her eyes. “I must be insane,” he muttered, looming over her, “because right now I haven’t a care how much you are repulsed by my presence.”

“You are incorrect, William. I am not repulsed in the least.”

“Then why do you always pull away?”

“Because...I am frightened.”

His hands stilled. “Frightened? Of what?”

“Of the way you make me feel…the way my heart dances when you look at me like you are doing now,” she finally admitted.

A soft groan tore from his throat. “Oh, Mercy, if only you meant it.” He shook his head. “I wish I knew what was wrong with me. I have never wanted you this much before. I do not understand my own feelings.”

She placed her hands on his head, combing her fingers through his silky hair, holding his face close to her. “I think it is because you know I have changed. I am not the woman you thought you married.”