Take (Need #2) (6 page)

“Have you told her?” I ask after ordering, turning to him. Changing schools, moving to Columbus, is all to be closer to Kira, to win her back, but I’m not ready for her to know yet. She doesn’t respond to eighty percent of my texts, but I keep sending them, all in hopes of breaking her down.

Ryan shakes his head. “She’s excited that I’m going to be there, but she hasn’t asked about you. Not that I’d tell her anyway.”

“Thanks, man.”

“I just hope leaving it as a surprise doesn’t bite you in the ass.”

“She’ll know soon enough. I’m not going to hide it until August.”

Ryan orders for him and Dana and we find a spot to sit.

“I just hope Austin hasn’t moved in on her too much.”

“Nah, Craig said he’s been studying, too.”

“Then I just have to beat him home.” I’m actually getting worried. The vibe was off with Kira when I left her. She was upset, and all I know is that it has to do with him, even with her last-second confession.

Ryan smiles, not even responding to what I’ve said, and gets up from his chair. His arms open up and Dana’s wrap around his waist. It’s sweet, almost sickly, when he kisses the top of her head, but I know that’s more jealousy than anything.

I want that with Kira.

Even the way she looks at him, her blue eyes sparkling, is full of love. All I get from Kira is disdain, but I know it’s all my fault, so I take it . . . for now.

“Hey, Brayden,” she says as she sits down next to Ryan.

The fucker’s beaming. I’ve never seen him like this before.

He loves her, and she loves him.

And I’m green all over again.

Fuck. I’ve become a lovesick pussy.

My future with Kira is on such a tenuous thread that I’ve been an agitated, nervous wreck for weeks. Ever since her birthday, I’m not sure of the one thing I’ve always been sure of
—
does she still love me?

From the moment I met her, she’s been mine, but even more so, I’m hers. No matter how things play out, I’ll always belong to her.

I shake my head.

Fuck, that’s no way to think.

She
is
mine. She loves me
—
she always has. My Kitty is just angry and hurt by me.

“Here, I brought this for you,” Dana says, thrusting a case at me. Neither of them seem to be aware of the siesta I just took. Hell, I don’t even remember picking up my food.

“What’s this?” I stare down at the CD in my hand.

“Whale song.”

I quirk my brow at her. “What the fuck do I need whale song for?”

“Listen to it.”

“Explain it to me, man.”

She rolls her eyes. “You keep pawing at Kira every time you see her.”

I pull back. “That’s . . . probably true. How do you know, though?”

“Grapevine. Anyway, you need to calm down and stop mauling her every time you see her.” She points back to the CD. “A counselor told me about this when I was freaking out during finals. Now, I listen to it everyday to relax.”

“I’m not fucking listening to whale song.”

“Fine. Then jack off.”

I chuckle and shake my head. “Doesn’t work.”

She purses her lips. “Do it twice. Just do something so you’re not jumping on her the moment you see her.”

“Hey, I’m not that bad.”

Her brow twitches up. “Really?”

Fuck.

“I’m serious about this, Brayden. You’re being obnoxious with your affections, and it’s pissing her off. If you back up, she’ll see that she can’t deny this thing you have, and it will eat at her.”

“What, act like I don’t care? I’ve done that, and it’s only pushed her away.”

“No, you have to show her you care, but show her you respect her and her personal space as well. Trust me, Kira’s got it bad for you, but she needs to remember what it’s like to like and want you again.”

I stare at her for a minute and take another bite of my sandwich. “I fucking hate it when your girlfriend is right,” I grumble

Ryan just shrugs, a smile pulling at his lips.

They were years in the making. From the moment she moved to town, I knew he was hooked. Dana isn’t like some of the girls in our circle of friends. She’s cool, and doesn’t just roll over.

It takes another three hours to pack the cars and clean up, getting me out a little later than I wanted. It’s weird to head home without Ryan, but I’ll see him in a few days.

The entire drive home, my body is buzzing. I haven’t seen Kira in weeks. Finals took up all my time, along with all the crap to change schools.

I stop at a rest stop just before the Ohio border on I-74 and take a break, munching on my leftover sandwich.

Are you home?
I text Kira. It’s long after three, so she should be, but I need to know. I need to see her.

Another bite, and my phone buzzes.
No. Why?

I’m amazed she responds.

What are you doing?

I’m working out.

I can almost hear her give an exasperated sigh.
Any plans after that?

Not that it’s any of your business, but no.

Perfect. I merge back onto the highway and head straight to the house. She should be home by the time I get there.

If she’s even going home. I play with the idea of asking, but in the end decide not to. She’ll know I’m on my way if I do, and I want to catch her by surprise.

Hopefully the parents aren’t home. They shouldn’t be at this time, but you never know.

Almost an hour later, I finally pull into the driveway.

Empty.

Perfect.

I can’t tell if Kira is home, but at least no one else is.

I get out of my car and stare up at my father’s house. Where Kira lives. And I’ll be living here for the next few weeks. Back under the same roof as her, until I find an apartment in Columbus. Even then, I’ll be across the hall from her half the week due to my summer job.

It’s going to be hard, yet I’m also excited about it. Yeah, I’m supposed to behave, take it easy on her.

I’ll try my best. Doesn’t mean I’m not happy as fuck that I’m going to have her so close to me again.

I walk up to the house and grab the doorknob.

Odd. It’s unlocked.

Oh, well.

I open the door and step inside.

Kira’s voice stops me.

“Why are you here again? There’s nothing left to say between us.”

At first, I think she’s talking to me.

That is, until I hear
his
fucking voice responding to her.

“There’s a lot left to say between us, Kira.”

Rage immobilizes me.

And curiosity. Sick, sick curiosity.

I know Kira told me she wasn’t hurt about Austin sleeping with Jenn, but I can’t help but wonder.

“You told me what you have to say,” Kira tells him. “And I told you I don’t want to hear it.”

They’re in the living room, I can tell now. It’s wrong for me to stand here and eavesdrop.

Not that I make any move to make my presence known.

“You don’t want to hear it because you’re angry, and I hurt you, and I’m so fucking sorry—”

Kira interrupts him. “You said it all the last time you were here trying to explain.”

That piece of shit came to grovel to her?

Of course he fucking did.

“You promised me, Kira. You promised you would think about you and me, about being my girl.”

Fucker said
what
?

“I did think about it, Austin.”

I can almost feel the ground start shaking beneath my feet with the force of my rage.

This . . . I did this to her. Made Amanda my girl. Shoved her in Kira’s face, knowing it would slice her apart.

I deserve this.

I deserve this.

I. Fucking. Deserve. This.

A thousand times I repeat it to myself.

My fury continues to clash with my pain, and regardless of the fact that I understand the situation logically, I can’t stop from asking myself:

Kira agreed to think about being his girl?

He slept with Jenn, and yet she’ll forgive him that easily?

Austin only hurt her once.

I hate myself because I’ve done it way too many times.

“And what, Kira? . . . talk to me,” Austin
begs
.

“Every time I thought about it, all I imagined was you with Jennifer.”

Austin blows out a breath, silent for a few seconds. “Sometimes, Kira, all I imagine is you with Brayden.”

He knows about us. Really knows.

Son of a bitch knows, and he doesn’t give a fuck. He’s still determined to have her.

“I never fucked Brayden. I gave myself to
you
, Austin.”

The hurt in her voice slices through me.

There’s only so much pain I can take. Yes, I know I’m a hypocrite, that I should just stand here and take every hit like a fucking man, but I fucking can’t.

I head to the living room.

“Tell me the truth,” Austin says. “Were you thinking about him when we slept together?”

There’s nothing but silence from Kira.

Come on, Kitty. Answer him, and answer him right. Save his fucking ass from my fists fucking up his face.

“I’m sorry, Austin, but I don’t want to keep rehashing this with you. I’m going to tell you what I’ve told Brayden many times: if you truly cared about me, you never would have done it.”

I come to a halt at the entrance to the living room, reeling.

She’s
comparing
us to each other?

The look on Austin’s face tells me he feels as disgusted by that as I do.

Kira crosses her arms and stares him down. “At the end of the day, there’s a reason why you were both such close friends once.”

Don’t say that, Kira. Don’t even go there . . .

“In my eyes, you’re both exactly the same.”

“We’re not the fucking same and you know it,” I growl.

Kira jumps.

Austin’s head turns in my direction, his expression furious.

I ignore him, staring Kira in the eye.

She gives me a look of utter disgust, obviously realizing that I’ve heard a good portion of their conversation. “Oh, really? Explain to me the difference.”

Really? She wants to go there? Fine. “You’ve never felt for him what you feel for me. You never fucking will.”

She turns white as a ghost.

It’s like instant medicine for my anger. The perfect response to calm me.

The proof I need to know that my words have hit the truth.

Kira
does
still love me.

It’s almost enough to make me smile.

Then I see the big asshole heading my way. I meet him in the middle of the room.

“You keep forgetting you can’t have her,” Austin spits.

Kira calls out both our names—the only thing that stops me from breaking this motherfucker’s face.

“You keep forgetting I already do.” I promised Dana and myself that I’d back off. Take it easy, not push too hard, and what I said is just that: me verbally pushing too hard.

But it’s the truth. The hardcore, brutal truth my soul keeps screaming out, and one I know Kira feels deep down.

She runs up to us, trying to push us away from each other, to work her way between us. She can’t. We’re too big for her to move, and we’re too busy wanting to kill each other for her to make us want to.

“Both of you! Stop!” Kira cries out.

“Just walk away already,” I warn him, for her sake more than anything.

“I’m never going to walk away from Kira unless she makes me.”

My vision turns bright red.

“If you guys fight, I will never forgive either of you. I mean it!”

At her words, Austin and I instantly take a step back away from each other.

I want to kill him for it.

I can see in his eyes that he wants to kill me, too.

His eyes flicker toward Kira, and he runs his hand through his hair before heading to the entrance of the living room. There, he stops, turning his head to glare at me over his shoulder. “Don’t forget you’re her stepbrother. You can never give her what she deserves.”

It’s a perfectly aimed blow.

I want to see him fucking bleed at my feet. “You ever ask her to be your girlfriend again, and I will kill you.”

“Brayden!” Kira slaps me in the chest.

I don’t turn away from Austin’s stare. I’m dead serious, and I hope he sees that.

He laughs, a bitter, mirthless sound. “I’d like to see you try. After all, you’re not the only man willing to kill for her.” Before I can say anything, he walks away, and I hear the front door slam shut shortly after.

Kira hits me again, harder this time. “You’re such a fucking asshole!”

“Why? Because I told him the truth?”

“It wasn’t the truth!” She storms away from me.

I follow her. “Kira, wait.”

“Just leave me alone.”

We end up on the second floor, outside the door to her room. I catch up with her and grab her arm.

“
What
?”

“Look at me.” I don’t drop her arm until shes does, that seemingly permanent anger in her gaze. “Did you really agree to think about being his girl?”

Silence.

The same silence she gave Austin when he asked her if she was thinking about me the night they slept together.

“Kira.” I can’t hide the slightly broken tone of my voice. Shit, it’s nothing compared to how I feel about this shit situation.

“Don’t look at me like that,” she says.

“Like what?”

Her little jaw twitches. “Like I’m tearing you apart.”

“You are.” My voice drops so low I wonder if she even heard me.

The shocked expression on her face tells me that she did. Her nostrils flare slightly and her disbelief becomes rage. “You fucking asshole.” She points at my room. “You stood in there, packing your bags to go to your girl.”

I flinch. Knew this was coming.

She’s not done. “You stood there, looked me in the eye, and you took that fucking call.”

I remember. God help me, I do.

“You told her, while staring at me, how much you missed her—”

“I lied,” I mumble.

“Did you?” She jams her finger into my chest. “Did you?”

“Yes!” All I want is to hug her right now. Hug her tight. Somehow erase all the bullshit so I can get my sweet Kitty back.

Fucking shit, it’s like I barely see her smile nowadays.

“And when you went to her? How many times did you fuck her? How many times were you with her after that?”

Too fucking many. “I had to think of you. Every damn time, I had to close my eyes and imagine it was you just to get through it.”

She slaps me. “Fuck you, Brayden.”

I grab her before she can storm into her room. “Hate me for it, but I loved you. Every minute that I was with her, every minute that I wasn’t, I still loved you.”

“You don’t know how to love, then.”

“You’re right. You’re so fucking right, baby.” I want to run my fingers over her skin, comfort her, but all I can do is offer her the truth. “I had no idea how to love you. I know that.”

She’s silent as she contemplates what I’ve just told her. What seems like sympathy flashes in her eyes. “Your parents fucked with your head growing up, I get that. But you had no right to fuck with me.”

“You’re right.”

“I fucking cared about you so much. Forget what I felt for you as a girl, I was your
friend
, you asshole.”

I would love to fall to my knees and beg her forgiveness. Would, too, if I thought it would help in the slightest. “I know. I
know
. That’s why, no matter how much you feel you need to hurt me, I’ll still be here. I’m not going anywhere.”

She murmurs my name sadly, eyes glittering with unshed tears.

Needing something—anything—I reach for her and pull her into my arms.

She lets me, but she doesn’t hug me back.

“I mean it. Do everything you want to me, hurt me any way you want. Hell, I want you to. Maybe then it’ll make the guilt a little easier for me.”

“You’re a masochist,” she mumbles into my chest.

I smile and kiss the top of her head. “Yeah. Especially when it comes to you.” No response. Sighing, I hug her tighter. “You can do whatever you want to me, and I’d still forgive you.”

“Because you hurt me.”

“And because I adore you.” In my mind, she’s my girl, no matter what happens. I can’t undo the thought, was never able to. And in my mind, she’s still my best friend, even if I’m no longer considered hers.

“You’d forgive me anything? What if I decide I want to be with Austin?”

“You’re so good at hurting me with that.” She tenses. “He was once my friend, Kira.”

A fact she was very aware of when she decided to give herself to him. The one boundary I never crossed. The one boundary I’m damn sure I never would have. I would have never gone after any of her friends.