Take Only Pictures (2 page)

Since she’d left the Lodge so abruptly six years ago, her summers had been completely different. She’d done photography internships that were often so rigorous she was relieved to get back to school. The last one was a position at a museum. Unfortunately, it ended when the funding to keep her permanently had fallen through, and she’d reluctantly returned to the ranch. For a few weeks, she’d enjoyed its quiet, but while her days were peaceful, her mind was not. She sensed her father watching her. If she could have simply accepted her place on the ranch and settled happily into the work, she would have been fine, but they both knew she was biding her time, wanting to be anywhere but rural Quincy, California.

She eyed the speedometer and applied the gas, climbing back up to the speed limit. Clearly, her feet were not anxious to make good time on the five-hour drive. She could have explained it as her maturing in the years since she’d been gone if only the increased speed didn’t make her break out in a sweat. She should have felt relieved to be back on these once-familiar roads, snaking her way through the mountains. But she was not the innocent girl who had last driven there, and, she hoped, not the terrified one who had hightailed it back home.

That was the only time she’d driven the route in the dark, and when she’d arrived as the sun broke over the familiar valley of home, she’d hoped it was a symbol for leaving it all behind. The truth was, she’d never been able to put it fully to rest. It still ran inside her like a dark and cold undercurrent, one she constantly tried to avoid, fearing if she stepped back into it, it would suck her in completely.

Now that she was finally returning, she dreaded the questions she knew would come. They’d be on her like a bear who remembers scoring at a Dumpster. Every summer since, the staff had peppered her brother with questions even though he had never had anything to offer them. It didn’t matter. She’d been the one to feed them something in the first place, making her an easy target. Now that she was there in person, would the questions come immediately, or would they wait? In her worst possible scenario, their anger washed over her from the moment she arrived. Her former friends might bombard her with accusations and insults. She braced herself, knowing she would not be able to defend any of their charges.

Steeling herself, she pulled off at the Devils Postpile parking lot about a mile from the Lodge and a good fifteen miles from the outpost she would share with Gabe. Stock wasn’t allowed near the national monument, a stand of symmetrical columns created by lava flow, so she had only ever viewed the natural wonder on horseback from the trail way over on the other side of the San Joaquin River.

She rolled down her window, filling her lungs with the crisp pine-scented air before flipping open her phone, pleased to find she had service. She dialed the outfit’s number and asked for Gabe, waiting as the employee with an unfamiliar voice went to track him down. “Gabe here,” he said.

“Give it to me straight. Who’s back, and what are they saying?”

“Where are you, sis?” he asked.

“Almost there,” Kristine answered honestly.

“Dozer’s still chewing on why you left, but the others are just curious about you being back. It won’t take long for them to come around. And hell, we’ll be up at Aspens most of the time, so fuck ’em if they’re pissy.”

She tipped her head back against the headrest, grateful for his unquestioning support, but he’d only answered the second question, the one she considered less important. What she really wanted to know was who was back, banking on a passing comment her dad had made about the possibility of Nard buying a tourist shop up in Mammoth with his stepsister instead of spending the summer at the Lodge. It would be so much easier to make peace with the way she left without having to confront him, but she feared that if she asked about him specifically, her brother would suspect the truth about why she had bailed and make it his responsibility to protect her.

“Thanks, Gabe. I’ll see you soon.”

“Drive safe, hear?”

“I will.”

“Can’t wait to see you.” She could hear his beaming smile in his words. “We’re going to kick some serious ass this summer!”

That made her laugh out loud. “I sure hope so,” she said, soaking in his enthusiasm.

She grabbed her camera and walked the short trail to the Postpile to grab some shots before she finished the drive and faced the past head-on.

Chapter Two

Gloria woke with hard nipples and the mouth that had brought them to attention kissing its way down her abdomen. She parted her legs, groaning as her sometimes lover rolled between them and pushed against her center with her breasts. “What time is it?”

Meg crawled up her front, pulling again at Gloria’s nipples with her lips and a little nip of her teeth. “You seriously want to know what time it is?”

“I’m due in Mammoth tonight. I have to get on the road.” Though she protested verbally, she raised her hips, grinding into Meg.

“I don’t think it’ll take long to get you there.”

Gloria gasped as Meg entered her with two fingers. She rode the hard thrusting, climaxing quickly as Meg had predicted. “God, you’re good at that.” She scooted her hips and rocked Meg onto her back, stretching her out in the morning light. Meg’s confidence in her body and what she wanted made it easy for Gloria to fall into bed with her whenever she was home from her research projects. She traced one finger from clavicle to navel before wrapping her hands around Meg’s bountiful hips.

“Inside. Now,” Meg growled as Gloria teased her, tracing a finger through her folds. “I’m so ready for you.”

Gloria gave Meg what she wanted. They had explored each other’s bodies enough times to know exactly what the other liked and needed, and the familiarity was part of being home. She was aware of the curve of Meg’s hip, the arch of her back as she got close, how she held the sheets, tilted her head back, enjoying Gloria’s touch. When Meg tipped into her own climax, Gloria held her palm tight against Meg’s curls, waiting for the shudders to stop before she stretched out next to her.

“How long are you going to be gone this time?” Meg asked, turning to face Gloria.

“Couple of weeks, maybe a month.”

“Depending on what the pickings are in Mammoth?”

Gloria swung her feet over the edge of the bed and began collecting her clothes, not wanting to deal with the undercurrent of insecurities that resurfaced for Meg when she traveled away for work. She threw on some sweats and a tee and folded her work clothes over her arm.

“I’m due at work,” Meg said, backpedaling. “Want to grab a bagel?”

“I need to check in with my folks and get on the road. I’m heading in for a shower.”

“My cue to leave.” Meg flopped back across Gloria’s bed, brown curls splayed across the pillow. She was short enough that she looked comfortable stretched out in the cramped bed. Gloria could only almost achieve that if she lay diagonally.

Gloria tried to tamp down her frustration. She pulled her shoulder-length blond hair into a messy ponytail. Meg knew that she had already kept her longer than she should have this morning. As much as she enjoyed the alive hum in her body from the morning sex, she hated the guilt that came with it. She should feel a pang in leaving instead of relief to be away again, but she’d never made any promises to Meg. She tried redirecting to the positive. “Thank you for a lovely wake-up.”

Meg frowned. “I miss you when you’re away. I only feel complete when you’re home. When are you going to get something permanent here? There’s probably something at the local field office.”

“You sound like my mother,” Gloria sighed. She rested her hip against the bed but didn’t sit down.

“Good,” Meg said, stroking Gloria’s thigh.

She couldn’t help but laugh. “Good?”

“I have this theory,” Meg said, lounging back against the pillows. “If a straight girl supposedly marries her father, wouldn’t it stand to reason that a gay girl marries her mother?”

“First you need the marrying kind,” Gloria said as gently as she could. She leaned in for a quick kiss, escaping before Meg could wrap her arms around her and pull her back into bed. “I’ll call you when I’m back in town,” she said at the doorway.

Stepping out into the heavy mist, she let the door to her camper slam shut, hoping it would jar Meg from her bed and to work. It would be hard enough to say goodbye to her mother. She didn’t need another Meg extraction to worry about before she made the ten-hour drive from Eureka to Mammoth.

The camper was already packed, so once Meg was gone, she was ready to take off on her latest field project. In between projects, it stayed in the shed that she and her father had built together when being a helper had meant handing him nails. The shed protected the camper they had bought for their summer family vacations. Walking to the house, she noticed that Richard Fisher’s car wasn’t there, so she knew he’d already gone to work.

Still, she held her breath as she eased shut the back door of her parents’ house behind her, not wanting to disturb her mother if she was still sleeping. Before the tongue had even engaged the jamb, her mother’s voice carried from the kitchen, startling out the breath she’d been holding.

“Eggs for Meg or just for you?” Kate Fisher called.

“Just me.”

“That’s too bad,” her mother continued. “I’ll have to stop by the bagel bakery later to tell her not to be a stranger when you’re away.”

Gloria rolled her eyes. “I’m grabbing a shower.”

“My bet is you need it. Hurry up, I’m cracking the eggs.”

She paused, considering whether to complain about her mother’s observation but continued without saying anything, knowing how lucky she was to have parents relaxed enough about who she was to joke with her about it.

Freshly scrubbed, she scooted onto a stool opposite her mother, and dug into breakfast. Gloria found a note on the counter from her father wishing her well on her journey and felt only mildly guilty about the reason she wasn’t in the house earlier to say goodbye in person.

“Ready to take on a new set of bears?” her mother asked, sweeping from her forehead her wispy bangs that were surprisingly more gray than blond. She, too, was dressed for the day in her gardening jeans and one of Richard’s old sweatshirts that she more than swam in now.

Gloria smiled, grateful that she didn’t pick back up on the Meg topic.

“I have to get acquainted with the staff there first.”

“And that’s what’s got you nervous?”

Quizzically Gloria looked at her mother, who motioned to Gloria’s plate with her fork.

Gloria answered the motion with a smirk and tried to eat as if her stomach wasn’t full of butterflies. She concentrated on her toast, hoping it would settle her belly.

“You don’t have to worry about me, you know. I’m a tough old hag who didn’t even need you to fly halfway across the country, and now you’re just across the state.” Though her face was lined, much thinner since before her fight with cancer began, her jaw was strong and firmly set.

Gloria’s mouth was so dry she couldn’t even swallow. She sipped some coffee, trying to force the solids into her stomach. “There’s still the issue of my being out of cell range a good amount of the time.” She’d inherited her mother’s stubbornness along with her slim nose, high cheekbones and dark blue eyes. Her father often joked that he wasn’t sure he’d contributed anything, but since her mother had become sick, Gloria had begun to see more of her father in herself, the way they both worried.

“I’m sure the Forest Service in Mammoth is every bit as good at tracking you down as they were in Tennessee. If you’d been up early enough, you could have heard all of this when I covered it with your father…” Her knowing eyes pinned Gloria’s and forced a blush from her. Gloria couldn’t help but glance out back, wondering if Meg was still in the camper. “She’s already gone,” her mother said, rising to clear her dishes. “She cleared out while you were in the shower. You know you could have let her shower here.”

“I wanted to talk to you, just you, before I go,” Gloria said, tackling a small bite of egg.

Her mother’s eyes brightened. “Why? Are you finally thinking of settling down with her when you get back?”

“Mother.”

She frowned. “I keep telling both you and your father to quit worrying about me. You, especially, need to worry about yourself. How long do you think Meg’s going to let you treat her like a plaything you can pick up and discard whenever you feel like it?”

“I know you don’t understand our arrangement,” Gloria began.

Her mother waved her off. “And I don’t need to. But pretty soon, she’s going to find the person who can give her everything.”

“And I wish her the best when she does,” Gloria interrupted.

“I just don’t understand why you distract yourself when you know she’s not your forever.”

“So now you want the details.” Gloria wiggled her eyebrows, and her mother threw a dishtowel at her. When she busied herself with the breakfast dishes, Gloria felt chagrined. She carried the towel and her plate to the counter, leaning her back against the surface to try to catch her mother’s eye. “I’m sorry,” she said.

Her mother shrugged, refusing to look at her. “You avoid forever just because it doesn’t come with a guarantee.”

“I’m not avoiding. I’m open to the idea, but you know that my work…”

“Don’t. If your work was your real priority, you wouldn’t have quit Tennessee. Your idea of family is this circle, this tiny circle. It scares me to think of you and your dad…”

Gloria wrapped her arms around her mother, resting her chin on top of her head. “I don’t think I should marry someone so you think I have someone to take care of me.”

“I know you can take care of yourself,” her mother said, swiping away a tear. “So you quit worrying about me, and I’ll try to quit worrying about you.”

“Deal,” Gloria said. She glanced at the clock.

“Get going. I taught you better than to be late your first day.”

“My first day is tomorrow.”

“Then get out of here so I can get on with my morning.”

Gloria gathered her toiletries and paused at the back door, her eyes resting on a photo album that sat by the couch.