Taking a Chance (30 page)

“I’m fine, Austin.”

Austin still couldn’t catch his breath enough to talk. He stood with his back against the door and waited. Finally, he tried.

“I know you’re angry. I came here to tell you I don’t know what happened to me last night. Tiffany somehow got my phone and got the picture of me, but I don’t remember a single thing. I’m not making an excuse, just telling you the truth. You have no idea how sorry I am that you were not able to get in touch with me. I would have come the moment you told me what happened. I won’t stay here and beg you to take me back. I promised Molly all I would do is come here to say I’m so sorry and to say goodbye in person.”

There was a long silence. “Okay. Goodbye, then.”

“Maddie, I love you. I have never loved anyone the way I love you. If you’ll allow me to stay, I’ll stay forever. If you want me to go, I’ll leave you alone. Forever.”

“I trusted you, Austin. You promised you would never hurt me, but you did. I trusted you completely and then I see a picture of you with that girl. I don’t understand what the hell happened last night, but you hurt me more than George ever could. I don’t care about the physical pain. It will go away. But, what you did to me will always hurt, it will never go away. Just leave.”

“Please, baby, just …”

“No, Austin.”

He walked over to the bed and lifted her hand. He held it between his hands for a long moment. He ran his thumb back and forth over her hand. Knowing he was never going to be able to touch her again, to love her again, was the worst pain he could imagine. His stomach threatened to heave at the thought. The pounding in his ears was unbearable with the fear that he may never see her again. He lowered his head and placed his lips on the back of her hand. A sob escaped him. He closed his eyes, kissed her hand and then placed it back on the bed. He turned and walked toward the door.

“Bye, Mad. I will always love you.”

He opened the door and walked through the hallway and into the main room. Afraid to make eye contact with anyone in the room he headed straight to the front door and left. Austin waited until the elevator doors closed behind him. He dropped to the floor and leaned against the wall of the elevator. He covered his face with his hands and put his head on his knees. How he was going to go on breathing without Maddie in his life was beyond his comprehension right now.

T
he next couple of weeks were a blur for Maddie and her family. She had called Frank to explain there had been a family emergency so she would be delayed getting out there. She had also asked if it would be okay to bring some of her family. Maddie’s brother and mom had decided to go out to California with her. No one was sure how long they would stay, but it would be at least through the end of the year. Frank had been more than generous to offer for the entire family stay at the mansion. Three rooms had been reserved for Maddie, her brother and her mom.

Nina and Scott had already been meeting with potential buyers for the family business, so it did not take them long to finalize an offer. They had talked to Maddie first to be sure she was okay with selling the company. Her dad had started the business, so it was hard to see it go, but it would be a fresh start for all of them.

Having no desire to stay at her condo after the attack, Maddie had put her condo on the market. She wanted to keep a place in Chicago, but she was not in a hurry to find another one. Sid had insisted Maddie stay at his place until she found a new condo. He had resigned from his position as doorman at Maddie’s old building, and was also moving out to California. His daughter lived just outside of San Francisco, so he would be able to spend a lot more time with his grandchildren as well as time with Maddie’s mom.

George had pleaded guilty to all charges, so all that was remaining was his sentencing hearing. Maddie didn’t need to be there for it and did not want to see him again, so she was not planning to fly home for the court date.

Maddie had informed her boss that she now planned to be gone at least three months through the end of the year. He had said they would still welcome her back if she chose to return next year.

Scott had already found a three-month consulting job. The only thing left was to find someone to watch Ashley. Maddie was planning to talk to Lacey when they got out there. Secretly, Maddie hoped Lacey would take the position, but if not, she was hopeful Lacey would know someone they could trust to watch Ashley.

The divorce process was in motion, and Lola had already said she was giving up all custody rights. Although Maddie could not believe she would give up being part of her daughter’s life, Scott had not been surprised. He said she had never tried to bond with Ashley.

Frank had insisted Maddie drive one of his cars while she was working at the winery. She did not know how often she would even need one because she could walk to work, but it was nice to know one was available if needed. Maddie, Scott, their mom and Ashley were all going to travel out in Scott’s SUV. Sid was flying out to meet them a few days later.

Maddie had called Todd before leaving to apologize again for how she had ended things. She had told him the whole story because she felt he deserved the entire truth. Not surprisingly, he had been gracious and wished her well in her new venture.

Saying goodbye to Molly was one of the hardest things for her. Molly was going to be planning her wedding, which Maddie promised to help with even though she would be far away.

“I’ll fly home to help you whenever I can.”

“I know and I’m going to fly out there to enjoy a relaxing vacation. Make sure you save some wine for me.”

“I’m sure there will be plenty for you.”

“All right, call me when you guys arrive safely.”

“Will do. Talk to you later. Thanks for everything over the last couple of weeks, Molly. I love you.”

“I love you too.”

She waved as she walked down the sidewalk to Scott’s car. Maddie stepped up into the back and put on her seatbelt.

“Let’s get out of here. But, please remember, no playing the radio, only CDs.”

“Yes, Maddie. We have an entire stack of them here. I promise you will not hear Austin’s voice.”

Maddie leaned over to check on Ashley.

“Oh, baby girl, you are the sweetest thing in the world,” Maddie cooed at her. “I can’t wait to show you the Californian countryside. I just hope Miss Lacey is going to take care of you. You two would have a ball.”

Ashley was kicking her feet on the car seat and moving her little arms up and down. Her toothless smile was contagious and Maddie couldn’t hold back her own smile. Things were getting better and Maddie knew she would eventually heal and move on. Physically, she had made a full recovery and the cut on her forehead had left a faint line. The doctor felt in time it would either disappear completely or at least be nearly invisible to the naked eye.

Maddie stared out the window as Scott pulled into traffic, and her smile faded. Even though some things were getting better, she could not stop the few tears that fell as she thought about Austin. No matter how hard she tried not to think about him, the pain in her chest would not ease.

Her heart had betrayed her the moment he’d stepped in the room the day after it all happened. When he had first looked at her, she had not even been able to decipher the look on his face. Part of her had wanted to put her arms around him to comfort him. She had watched him cry for her, but he had hurt her and she needed to protect her heart from now on. She couldn’t stop herself from missing him so much it physically hurt, but she would have to find a way to go on without him.

• • •

A
ustin had flown to Phoenix the afternoon after he saw Maddie. He had gone back to his tour and had not missed a single show. All he could manage was to sing his songs and sleep. Nothing else mattered. He ate only when necessary, did not go out with the guys after shows and was so angry all the time he knew it put everyone else on edge. Charlie frowned at his attitude and said he feared Austin was neglecting the fans too much. He was at the height of his career, but if he made the wrong moves, they might not continue to show him the unconditional love that they did right now. Austin could not find it in his heart to care about his future career.

He had sent a couple of texts to Maddie to be sure she had been healing, at least physically. She had at least responded, although she never said anything more than she was healing fine.

“Dude, you need to call her. This is out of control,” said Tommy.

“No. She’s made up her mind.”

“Come on, Austin. You need to try and figure out what happened that night. You and I both know you didn’t have enough to drink that you would do something so stupid. At least try calling Maddie to see if she has forgiven you. You don’t know unless you try.”

“It’s not going to happen, so just drop it. I have no idea what happened that night and there is no way in hell I’m calling that bitch Tiffany because it doesn’t matter anyhow. I don’t deserve Maddie.”

Even just saying her name hurt. He tried not to think about any of it because any time he did it hurt to even breathe.

“You know you’re the right guy for her. You deserve her just as much as she deserves you. Please, buddy. I can’t watch you like this anymore, I’ve never seen you like this.”

“Drop it, Tommy.”

Austin got up and walked over to the window of their hotel room. He leaned against the window and stared out over the city. He could not even be sure which city they were that night. He got on whatever flight they told him to. He arrived on time for whatever sound check or appearance they were doing. But he was just going through the motions. He didn’t care anymore. His body ached for Maddie. He had never been in so much pain and he needed it to ease. His biggest fear was feeling that way for the rest of his life.

Tiffany had finally given up too. She had tried for at least a week after that night, but Austin would not speak to her or even look at her. He had not answered a single call or text from her. When she tried to talk to him through Charlie or one of the guys, he immediately cut them off. He did not care what she had to say. He still didn’t know what had happened that night, but he knew he never again wanted to see or even hear her voice. She had ruined his life and he did not think she had even thought twice about it. Austin was not sure that she had ever cared about him. He was sure she had just been using him to get to the top faster.

“Hey, man, I’m sorry. I didn’t mean to upset you. I just want you to be yourself again. I’ve never seen you as happy as when you had Maddie in your life.”

Austin closed his eyes at the sound of her name again. “I know. I’m sorry. I don’t mean to take it out on you. I just need to figure out how I can go on living my life without her. I really miss her, man.” Austin opened his eyes and rubbed away the unshed tears. He gazed out over the city for a few more moments and then turned to Tommy. “Tell you what. Let’s go get a drink at the bar. I will at least try to join the real world again. After all, she must be moving on, so I should do the same.”

“There’s the Austin I know.” Tommy smiled and gave Austin a slap on the back.

C
hristmas was only a couple of days away. Maddie had been working so much at the winery that she hardly had time to enjoy anything outside of work. She had spent the Thanksgiving holiday with her family, Sid’s family and Frank’s family. The day had been bittersweet for Maddie, as she had planned to spend it with Austin’s family. Even though she felt blessed to now have three families she cared for, the hole left behind by Austin’s absence had not healed. She was not sure if it would ever heal.

She had managed to enjoy the time in the kitchen with her mom, Lacey, Sid’s daughter and Frank’s daughter. There had not been one quiet moment the entire morning. At least one of the women had been talking at all times, and usually there was more than one talking or laughter from someone else. The five women had fit together perfectly and Maddie could not imagine her life without any of them. She had relied on them to fill as much of the void as possible.

Lacey had jumped at the opportunity to be Ashley’s nanny and blended immediately with their family. She had already been part of Frank’s family, so it was an easy fit. Amy, Frank’s daughter, was like a second mom to Lacey and since she only had sons, she doted on Lacey as if she were her own daughter. Sid’s daughter, Carrie, had become instant friends with Maddie. Even though Maddie did not have a lot of free time, she spent most of it with her mom, Carrie and her kids. They had four kids, all under the age of ten, and they came with a lot of energy. Sid was enjoying all the time he had to spend with them now, and Maddie was thrilled at how well the two families fit together.

Sid and her mom were talking about possibly getting married in the summer. They were not in a hurry, but they were so happy together that Maddie knew they would be together for the rest of their lives. They had each been through a difficult loss, so they understood one another in a way no one else could. Maddie was thrilled for them, but she sometimes feared she had lost her own chance for the kind of love that lasted a lifetime.

• • •

T
he mansion had numerous Christmas trees set up on each floor. Christmas was Maddie’s favorite holiday and she had helped decorate each tree. She had also hung white lights on her balcony and put a small tree in her own room.

Sitting in front of the fireplace in her room, she wrapped the last of her gifts. The space under the main tree was filling up quickly with so many families involved, and she wanted to get her own gifts put under it. They were going to spend Christmas morning at the mansion. Sid’s family was coming over after the kids opened their gifts from Santa at their own house. Frank’s family and Lacey were going to spend Christmas morning with all of them too. Lacey had begun to spend more time around the mansion, even when she did not need to watch Ashley. Lacey and Scott had gone out to dinner a few times, and Maddie caught the looks they exchanged. Maddie knew her brother would take it much more slowly this time, but Maddie loved Lacey and knew they would make a great couple.