Taking Charge (17 page)

“So tell me the whole story,” Cole said, his tone
calmer.

“You wouldn’t understand,” Robyn answered, her voice
wobbling.

How could he understand? She didn’t even
understand.

“Try me,” he urged.

She shook her head and pulled her stomach in, trying
to suppress the ball of emotion inside. How could she tell Cole she
had been sleeping with her boss for as long as she could remember?
She hated it, yet she needed it. And he did pay her. Okay, he
didn’t leave a pile of cash on the bedside table, but he may as
well have. He had bought her the flat, he paid all her bills, and
she earned far more than any office manager for a garage should
earn. But suddenly, now that she was home in Portage, she couldn’t
even bring herself to call him. She didn’t want to be that person
any more, and she didn’t want Cole to know that Robyn. Back here,
she wanted things to be different. Or more accurately, she wanted
things to be the same.

“You know too much about me already, now you think
I’m a prostitute. Leave it at that and eat your roll,” she ordered
him.

“Robyn, if you need this guy to be financially
secure, I can help you out. Don’t go back there, cut him loose,”
Cole told her seriously.

“So you can pay my way for me? No.”

“I wouldn’t ask you to sleep with me,” Cole said
firmly.

Robyn ignored the comment and took her wallet from
her back pocket. She got out a wad of bills and held them out to
him.

“For Leonora, like I promised,” she said.

“Is this his money?” Cole inquired, looking at the
money as if it was dirty.

Robyn shrugged.

“I don’t want it,” Cole told her.

He picked up a roll from the tray and turned away
from her.

He knocked another clipboard of papers on the floor.
That was the second one of the afternoon. He couldn’t concentrate.
He kept thinking about Robyn and some middle-aged garage owner, in
bed together. The visual made him feel sick. He thought he knew
her, but now—why would she do that? She was so beautiful, so smart
and funny. Why would she want to give all that to some guy she
admitted to not caring about?

“Cole, do you have the info on the Barracol trial?”
Maggie called.

Maybe he had some hold over her. But what? She hadn’t
seemed as afraid to talk about him as she had when she’d spoken
about Jason and the rape. There had to be something, though. People
just didn’t do that sort of thing if they had a choice. But then,
who was he to talk about choices? He’d almost thrown his whole life
down the drain. He wasn’t saintly enough to talk about rights and
wrongs.

“Cole, sorry to interrupt but…”

“Do you want a coffee, Maggie? I could really do with
a coffee,” Cole announced, raising his head to look at her.

“Sure, I’ll go and get it,” she offered.

“No, it’s okay. I’ll go.”

He needed the walk.

“So, this is nice, isn’t it?” Pam remarked that
evening.

Cole and Robyn were barely speaking after their lunch
at the roadhouse, and now they were sat opposite the Omen twins,
trying to eat their way through two tons of chicken and rice.

“It’s lovely food, ma’am,” Cole said, forking some
more in his mouth.

“Cole, please call me Pam. Can’t remember the last
time anyone called me ma’am, can you Bob?” Pam asked her
husband.

“Nope,” Bob replied, drinking from his bottle of
beer.

“Are you her new boyfriend?” Sienna asked, giggling
into her glass of water.

“No,” Cole replied sharply.

“They’re just friends, honey,” Pam added quickly.

“Why aren’t you her boyfriend? You’re a boy, aren’t
you?” Sierra continued.

“Last time I checked,” Cole remarked.

“He’s not my type,” Robyn answered bluntly.

“Robyn actually already has a boyfriend,” Cole
snapped back.

“Oh, honey, do you? What, in England? You never said.
What’s his name? What does he do? How long have you been together?”
Pam gabbled, putting her knife and fork down and giving her niece
her full attention.

“Ages. He owns a chain of garages. He’s very
successful and rich. His name’s Clive,” Robyn said quickly.

Cole let out a snort of annoyance.

“Ignore him,” Robyn ordered.

“He’s married,” Cole informed the table.

“What?” Pam exclaimed in horror.

“I never told you he was married,” Robyn said.

“But he is, isn’t he?” Cole continued, looking at her
defiantly.

“Oh, Robyn, that isn’t right at all. I mean, what are
you thinking? Does he have children? What about his poor wife?” Pam
began.

“I don’t know why we’re even having this
conversation, especially in front of the children,” Robyn said,
indicating to Sienna and Sierra who were both looking at Robyn with
wide eyes.

“How old is he? Fifty? Fifty-five?” Cole carried
on.

“Robyn, he isn’t that old, is he?! Honey, this isn’t
right. It isn’t right, Bob, is it? Tell her,” Pam urged, her mouth
opening in horror.

“It isn’t right, Robyn. There, I said it. Now I think
we ought to change the subject and carry on eating this delicious
meal,” Bob suggested to everyone.

“Rhett, at school, his mom had an affair with the
mailman. He was married, too. His mom had to move to Nevada, but
Rhett and his dad kept the dog,” Sierra informed the group.

“Well, Cole’s ex-girlfriend is having his brother’s
baby,” Robyn announced loudly.

Cole put down his silverware and sent a glare across
the table to Robyn.

“Oh my!” Pam said, dropping her fork with a
clatter.

“This is like an episode of Jerry Springer!” Sienna
said delightedly, clapping her hands together.

“That was unnecessary,” Cole said to Robyn, wiping
his mouth with his napkin.

“And your comments weren’t?” Robyn retaliated.

“Listen, I think you two ought to take this outside,
don’t you?” Bob suggested firmly.

“We’re fine,” Robyn snapped.

“Outside, both of you. Sort yourselves out and then
come back and get along,” Bob ordered them.

Robyn rose from her chair and stormed toward the
door. She pulled it open and stepped out onto the deck.

“Why did you say that stuff in front of Pam and Bob?”
Robyn questioned, squaring up to Cole as soon as he joined her in
the backyard.

“Why did you tell them about Veronica?”

“I asked first.”

“I don’t like your arrangement with your married
boss.”

“I don’t like you not tightening the lid on the
milk.”

“That’s a pathetic come back.”

“I don’t want to sleep with my boss!”

“Then why do it? For the money?”

“It isn’t about the money.”

“Then what is it about?”

“It’s none of your business.”

“I’m making it my business.”

“How macho. You want some dumbbells?”

“Not really.”

“I told you about Jason, I told you everything. After
it happened, I couldn’t move on, you know, with a guy. I still
can’t. Not in the normal sense. I told you that. I don’t date, I
don’t do anything like that, I can’t.”

“I don’t get it.”

“Jeez, Cole do I have to spell it out for you? I
couldn’t get close to anyone. I wanted a new memory, something to
wipe out the bad one, but I couldn’t do it. Clive was nice to me;
he seemed to genuinely care about me.”

“Yeah, well there’s only one problem with that…you
kissed me just after we met,” Cole reminded her.

“I know,” Robyn answered, swallowing.

“So what’s that about?”

“I don’t know.”

Cole let out an exasperated sigh and put his hands to
his head. He looked at her, his eyes wide and full of concern.

“If you don’t feel anything for him, how can it be
right?” he asked.

“I sleep with him to forget the rape, to push it
away. It’s not romantic, it’s not good, but it’s better than not
being able to even go through the motions. And that’s all I can do
with him, it’s just mechanical—I don’t feel it. But, it’s one step
up from nothing,” Robyn tried to explain.

Tears welled up in her eyes and she fought to control
the urge to sob. She hated the way he made her feel vulnerable.
There was something about him that made her want to let it all
go.

He took hold of her hand and squeezed it firmly. It
felt so good, the reassurance, the genuine affection without an
ulterior motive. She wasn’t used to it. She didn’t know how to deal
with it.

“I know I’m damaged, Cole, but you can’t fix me. And
I don’t want you to try,” Robyn interrupted quickly.

“That isn’t your decision to make,” Cole answered,
looking at her.

She swallowed, looking into his ebony colored
eyes.

She felt his body move, just slightly, and it
unnerved her. She dropped his hand like it was a scorching hot cup
of tea.

“So, how about you apologize for telling my family I
sleep with a married man and I’ll apologize for telling them about
your incestuous family issues. Sorry,” Robyn spoke quickly.

“I’m sorry, too,” Cole added.

“Great, so let’s go and see if we can kick the twins
shins without them telling on us,” Robyn suggested and she opened
the door.

“Robyn…” Cole started.

“I’ll give you first shot at Sienna,” she
replied.

The conversation was finished.

“So, is he going to leave his wife?” Sienna asked as
Cole poured Robyn some more water.

“Sienna, we are changing the conversation. Now, tell
me about this go-karting night. Is the whole team going?” Pam
asked, smiling at Cole.

“I only asked if he was going to leave his wife.
Rhett said that his mom went with the mailman because he was better
in bed and he had a pool in his yard,” Sienna continued.

“Well, for the record, he won’t be leaving his wife,
and I’m going to be here for a good few weeks yet. He’ll probably
find someone else to sleep with,” Robyn said matter of factly.

“So, the go-karting,” Pam said again.

“Yes, go-karting. I’m really looking forward to it,
aren’t you, Bob?” Robyn asked, grinning at her uncle.

“Yepper.”

“Is the married guy really fifty-five? Because that’s
gross,” Sienna piped up.

“Sienna. We’re not talking about the married guy any
more,” Bob ordered his daughter.

“Does he have really gray hair?” Sierra added.

“Yeah and false teeth and sometimes he has to use a
walking stick,” Robyn said as she kicked her cousin hard on the
leg.

“Ow! Mommy!”

“Brad came to dinner last night,” Robyn said,
changing the subject.

“He came to our school last week and let me wear his
hat,” Sienna announced.

“Yes, he goes to a lot of the local schools and talks
to them about stranger danger and road safety,” Pam informed
them.

“He didn’t tell us that! Wait ‘til I tease him about
that one! Stranger danger!” Robyn said, laughing.

“Teaching the children is very admirable,” Pam
insisted.

“Yeah, but it isn’t exactly catching the bad guys and
throwing them in the lock up, is it?” Robyn answered.

“She’s been watching too much CSI, you’ll have to
excuse her,” Cole said.

“He uses hair products, did you know that?” Robyn
informed the table.

“She eats with her fingers and has an obsession with
tightening the lid on the milk,” Cole retorted.

“Will you two stop sparring with each other? You
sound like a married couple,” Bob remarked.

“She doesn’t believe in marriage. She didn’t even
have a scrapbook,” Cole said.

“He did, but he won’t admit it,” Robyn replied.

“Is your girlfriend really having your brother’s
baby?” Sierra inquired, batting her eyelids innocently.

The pink neon sign of Taboo throbbed in front of
them. Mickey and the rest of the team had been at another bar
before arriving at the club, and they were already well
lubricated.

“Now, listen up. Bob has the kitty—strictly beer, no
ridiculously, expensive, potent cocktails, no shots, and absolutely
no tequila. I want you all to enjoy yourselves, but we do have an
important game tomorrow, so let’s remember that,” Robyn said.

Henrik repositioned a bright yellow cowboy hat on his
head and loosely strung a red feather boa around Mickey’s neck.
Robyn had no idea where he had got them from.

“What about the kitty for the girls? You get special
treatment if you throw money at them,” Art piped up.

“If you want to throw money at them, Art, you knock
yourself out, but you won’t be throwing my money at them,” Robyn
informed him.

“Let’s get in there, boys!” Wes shouted, pumping his
fist in the air.

“Yeah, let us go. I cannot wait to see American girls
do jiggy jiggy,” Henrik said, swaying his hips.

“OK, let’s go. Bob, get the beers,” Robyn ordered,
leading the way through the doors.

“No Grant tonight?” Cole remarked to Brad as they
entered the club.

“No, he had to work. Plus, I think he finds it
difficult being around Robyn, you know,” Brad replied.

“So he should after what his son did,” Cole said
firmly.

“Yeah, well, it wasn’t his fault.”

“He might have taught his son right from wrong,” Cole
suggested.

“We all make mistakes, though, huh? Come on, let’s
get a drink,” Brad urged, patting Cole on the back.

Taboo had been modernized since Robyn had last been
in it. She and Sarah had sneaked in via the back entrance once and
dressed up in some of the dancers’ outfits. It had been fun until
the owner had turned up and offered them jobs. That had been scary.
Then, the club had been a seedy, run-down place for sleaze. Now it
was a funky, chrome, and neon entertainment center with almost as
many female customers as men.

“Brad, give Bob a hand with the pitchers,” Robyn said
as she pulled up a seat.