Taking Heart (8 page)

“I’m not sure. Let me check again,” he said and with a flash of a grin,
grasped the sides of her face and kissed her again.

Oh, shit. I’m in trouble,
Eric thought as they drove back to the hotel once again in silence. If
he thought he knew Ren before, that first kiss had sealed the deal. In all his
life, in all of his worldly experience, he had never experienced a kiss like
that before, as if he had bitten down into a juicy peach laced with sweet drugs
and he was instantly rendered an addict. Now, like a druggie, he was left
addled and slightly trembling, craving another bite.

His eyes kept wandering off the road and back onto Ren’s face as she
looked out the window. Though she was silent, he could feel her contentment
radiating around her, filling even him with warmth. She reminded him of a
flower mid-bloom; he didn't think she could look more beautiful.

He had only felt this emotional stirring once before, right around his
twentieth birthday, and he had run away from the girl as quickly as his feet
could take him. He was afraid then, just as he was now. And though he wanted
Ren, the urge to flee was still overwhelming.

Back at the hotel, inside the elevator, he was quick to excuse himself.
“I think I’m going to call it a night,” he said after refusing her invitation
to dinner. “I still need to get some work done.”

Disappointment registered in her eyes, but she forced herself to smile
regardless. “I guess we
have
spent all day together. Well, have a good
night.”

“Good night,” he said, bending down and giving her a quick kiss on the
cheek that left her looking confused. She stepped out of the elevator onto the
second floor but not before shooting him another bewildered look.

What have I done?
he
thought as he made his way towards his room.
He liked her, truly felt a strong chemistry with her, but he couldn’t deny the
voice in his head urging him to succumb to act on flight instead of fight.
Years of listening to that instinct had not done him harm; in fact, it might
have saved him from heartache, or worse, alimony and child support. His natural
tendency to detect and avoid danger had not failed him in the past, and he was
sure it wouldn’t fail him this time either. He could cut ties and run; he was
not a man above self-preservation.

Nevertheless, as he stepped in to the tub to take a shower, he couldn’t
help but imagine Ren doing the same. If he had played his cards right, had not
run away like he was being chased by rabid paparazzi, he might not be alone in
the shower right now.

Still, he knew he did the right thing, for her
well-being
at the very least. Nobody in
their
right mind would
ever call him a virtuous man, but he could honestly say he didn’t take advantage
of an emotionally confused woman.

Further advantage,
he amended, his mind returning to the Byer’s Peak trail, when he had
taken a little bit of an advantage by kissing her silly. But he’d come to his
senses now. There would be no more hand holding, no more
peach-biting
.

Still, she might have questions. He couldn’t let her go on thinking he
was just kissin’ and dissin’.

With a towel wrapped around his waist, he sat on the bed and picked up
the phone, dialing her room. The phone rang once, twice, three times. He hung
up and waited almost four minutes before dialing again, thinking perhaps she’d
been in the shower.
But again, nothing.

And then it dawned on him. He dressed hurriedly in jeans and a
button-down shirt, hoping he was wrong, that Ren was not
living her life a
little
with a certain bartender with blond hair.

On his way out, he paused with a hand on the doorknob.

What Ren does is not my business.

He forced himself to back away and sit down on the bed, but ten seconds
later, he decided that yes, it was his business after all.

“Where is she?” he asked the bartender downstairs.

The bartender gave him
a
squinty look and
crossed his arms across his chest. “Why should I tell you? You’re still
stalking her, aren’t you?”

“You’re walking on thin ice, buddy,” Eric said, feeling his anger rising.
“I’m about to report you to management.”

The bartender chuckled and held his hands up in defeat. “Relax, man. Do
you see her here?” He added with a shit-eating grin, “Did you know that, in
most areas of the world, if you don’t see a person in a room, it doesn’t mean
they’re invisible, it just means they’re not there?”

Eric’s nose flared. “You’re such a little shit.”

The guy chuckled again, then wiped the smile off his face. “I saw her
walking past the lobby about fifteen minutes ago. And before you ask me, no, I
don’t know where she went.” He flipped a rag over his shoulder and leaned on
the bar. “And if I can give you a little piece of advice?”

“Screw you.” Eric turned to leave.

But the bartender was intent on delivering his missive. “Chill out, man.
You need to relax a little,” he called to Eric’s receding figure.

After eating dinner at Deno’s and driving around town afterward, Eric
wandered into the hotel lobby at eleven, wondering if Ren had made her way back
to her room yet. A short elevator ride later, he stood in front of her door,
debating whether to knock or to just let her be. He didn't want to be that
person who woke her up two nights in a row.

He knocked anyway.

A minute later, the door opened. He breathed a sigh of relief. Ren was
still in jeans and a top—obviously not in bed yet—but her eyes were
red and puffy.

The words escaped his mouth before he had a chance to filter them. “You
look awful. Are you
alright
? What happened?”

“Well gee, thanks.” She sniffed and moved aside. “I was watching a sad
movie.”

He stepped inside and stood awkwardly by the bed. Her room was identical
to his: two queen beds, a few chairs and tables, and an armoire with a
television nestled inside. The only difference was the pile of clothes on one
of the chairs. “What movie?” he asked, seeing Will Smith’s face on the
television.

“It’s this drama,
Seven Pounds
,” Ren said, folding one leg under
her as she sat on the bed.

“Oh yeah,” he said, sitting on the other bed. “I remember when this came
out. Will Smith was everywhere talking about this.”

“Have you met him?” she asked.

“Yes, I’ve run into him a few times. He still likes to go out to clubs
every now and then.”

“I would love to meet him. He’s been my favorite actor since Fresh Prince.”

“If I ever run into him, I’ll tell him about you.” He shifted on the bed,
unable to get comfortable. “So, uh, I was looking for you earlier tonight…”

Her dark eyebrows rose. “I thought you were calling it a night?”

“I was, but I changed my mind.” He spotted the plastic bag full of DVDs
on the bed. “Did you go to a video store?”

“I went to get something to eat in town, then went back to the apartment
and took a few of the DVDs from the donate pile from Ben's apartment. There
were a few that I really wanted to keep.” She pulled the bag closer and looked
through the cases. “So why were you looking for me?”

“I, uh, just wanted to see if you were okay.”

Though they were red, her eyes still managed to sparkle. “Don’t tell me
you tried to avoid me again and were once again unsuccessful?” she asked with a
grin.

He scratched the back of his head, wondering if he was that transparent
or if something else was at work here. “How do you do that?”

“Do what?”

“See right through me.”

Her cheeks reddened but she shrugged it off. God, she was just so cute.

He cleared his throat. “I know I don’t deserve it, being that I’m a jerk
and all, but, could I kiss you?”

She laughed, not exactly the reaction he was expecting. “Why do you even
have to ask?”

“Because I don’t deserve it,” he said. “I keep trying to run away, but
it’s like my feet have a mind of their own and I keep finding myself back at
your door.”

She took a deep breath and walked over to where he sat on the bed. She
stood between his knees and took his face between her hands. “You have a way
with words, you know that?” she asked huskily and kissed the tip of his nose.

His hands grasped the back of her thighs and pulled her closer. He
pressed his face into the crook of her neck and took a deep breath, taking in
her scent of vanilla and cake. A voice in his head was telling him to run, that
he was toeing the line that will lead him to uncertain territory once crossed.
“What if I stayed, this time?” he whispered, and realized too late that he’d
said it aloud.

“I think that’s a good idea,” she said, running her fingers through his
hair. “You fit right here.”

Eric tilted his head and touched his lip to the soft skin on her
collarbone, his hands sliding up to her rounded butt. “Ren, are you sure?” he
asked, his conscience’s
last ditch
attempt at
appealing to his honor.

Ren looked down into his face. “I couldn’t be more sure,” she said and
kissed him.

chapter
six

Ren gulped, her heart pounding wildly. “It’s been a while,” she said as
she shifted her body underneath Eric’s.

He smiled down at her, his weight resting on his hands, and said, “For me
too.” Though he was ready, with the condom already in place, he added, “We
don’t have to do this if you’re not sure.”

She lifted her head and kissed him, running her fingers along the tight
muscles of his back. “Do you work out?”

“Uh, yeah,” he said with a bemused grin then bowed down to lick the
valley between her breasts, sending shivers down her spine.

I’m ready, I think.
She had been sure before, when they had been fully clothed and the idea
that he would be inside her, as only Ben had, was still nothing but a distant
idea. Now, with this new face hovering above her, she found herself filled with
worry. What if they weren’t compatible in bed? She and Ben had been well
suited, and what they lacked in wild passion they made up for with honesty and
tenderness. Why did she ever think she could replace Ben with Eric?

When Eric sat up on his knees, she saw it: a thin vertical line down the
center of his chest. She rose, mesmerized by the shiny scar tissue, running a
finger down its length. It was exactly the sign that she needed.

She touched her lips to the scar and gently kissed her way up to his
neck, and finally, to his lips. “I’m definitely, one hundred percent sure.”

He kissed her down into the pillow, slipping a hand underneath the small
of her back to hold her closer. His lips traveled south, trailing kisses on her
neck, her collarbone, and stopping at her breasts.

Her entire body clenched when he slid inside, and for that one moment
when her eyes were closed and the world was calm, save for the rapid beating of
their hearts, she could almost convince herself that it was Ben she making love
to. But the voice that whispered her name was worlds apart and, all too soon,
the spell was broken. When Eric gently bit her earlobe, she finally accepted
that, even with a borrowed heart, he was his own person.

Eric withdrew slowly and, at the last
possible moment, slid back inside in one long stroke that had her insides
trembling. He kissed her thoroughly as he repeated the process, then again and
again, his taut muscles a testament to his self-restraint. Her head swam in all
of the sensations: the wetness of his mouth on hers, the roughness of his palms
as they glided along her bare skin, the thickness of him as he filled her up.

She hooked her feet over his back, urging him
to pick up the tempo, but he resisted, instead moving at a languorous pace that
was slowly driving her mad. The pressure was building, and just when she
thought she would never find her release, Eric suddenly slammed into her. Her
climax thundered through her entire body, making her cry out and clutch at his
back as if her life depended on it.