TAKING OVER TROFIM (Dominion of Brothers series Book 4) (20 page)

“How much money did Shay’s mother leave him? Do you know?” Trenton asked him.

“She had a life insurance policy plus some investments and a trust fund. All totaling about four million dollars.”

“And now his father controls it?” Trenton asked.

Trofim nodded. “Mr. Wilks metes out his money in monthly allowances to Shay. But it’s barely enough to cover the monthly payments on the student loans Shay was forced to take out to cover the tuitions every semester since it all happened. I think his dad sometimes withholds that too just to remind Shay who is calling the shots.”

“Why do you think that?” Diesel questioned him.

“Because just yesterday I found a bill in his car that was three months overdue. And just Saturday Mr. Wilks called Shay up like he was monitoring him. They started arguing and I overheard Shay say something about not getting any money last month.”

Trenton nodded then and jotted down some notes on a pad. “Do you want this investigation to become official?”

Trofim’s face nearly went stark white with the question. His mouth went dry.
Did he?
Official
meant if anything incriminating was found they could use the evidence to lock the man away. But if kept as simply a favor for a friend, no matter how ugly the information they dug up, they could do nothing. It would be inadmissible in a court of law. Trofim was already here without Shay’s knowledge. It would only be worse if it led to actual charges
.

Trofim shook his head, but he feared refusing might one day be a mistake.

Trenton concluded the meeting that they would look into everything and see what they could turn up and get with him when they had something to report.

Trofim stood and again shook everyone’s hand but stopped when he did so with Diesel, “I, uhm, I just wanted to say— what you did for Cliff and Kimmi—” he paused. He didn’t know how close the man was with Kimmi, but Trofim knew how much she had meant to his brother, Pyotr. Appreciation was in order. “It didn’t save her life and yet it did. She had some peace before she passed away. And thanks especially for bringing Cliff and Pyotr together. Pyotr deserves someone special.”

Diesel chuckled, “That part was an accident.”

Trofim gave him a soft smile, “It was a good one.” He turned and started to leave, but before he made it out the door Trenton stopped him.

“One last question, Trofim.”

Trofim turned and glanced at Trenton, still sitting at his desk, but there was a look of concern on his face. “Does Mr. Wilks know you’re back from the UK?”

There was a long pause then with a movement that only a keenly observant man like Trenton or Diesel would have even noticed, Trofim finally nodded.

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Trofim left Trenton Leos’ office feeling more uneasy rather than the security intended by going to him. He couldn’t shake his fears, his insecurities or the wreckage that was the mass of his emotions inside. And when Trenton asked if Wilks knew he was back, it was as if a spotlight had irised open up on the guillotine that hovered just overhead.

He headed back across town, not having any destination in mind but it came to no surprise he found himself at the boathouse. He parked the bike and went around front to the dock.  Several shells sat at the edge bobbing in the water, awaiting its athletes while a few guys milled around cleaning or doing husbandry care for the equipment.

“Hey, Trofim!” One of the guys from one of the school teams called out, as he carried a single seater overhead toward the water when he walked by, “I didn’t know you guys were practicing this late in the afternoon.”

“No worries, we’re not. I got bored and wandered down.”

“Ah, good place to burn that stagnation off.”

Trofim hadn’t really thought about it but it kind of made sense and he still needed to work on his endurances. Yet even as he walked past the set of rowing machines that had been hauled out on the dock for warm ups, he couldn’t bring himself to get in the game. Though it was the game he wanted to win the most.

A few seagulls flew overhead to laugh and torment him, and the sun glistened off the river’s surface that further blinded his sight. He ended up taking up residence on the sea wall, his feet dangling over the edge, and he just stared at his feet for the longest time. He watched as the collegiate team loaded up and launched by twos and fours then headed upriver.

Images of pain and trouble passed through Trofim’s mind like one of those old timey nickelodeon crank films. He saw himself in love with a man. The hero of his heart. He was so whipped when Shay came into his life and he didn’t care what anyone said. If it was sappy for him to feel as happy as he did, then so be it, he was a happy sappy guy. Perhaps the best part was knowing he did for Shay what Shay did for him, maybe even more so as Trofim didn’t have the dark horrors that Shay had endured in his life.

Trofim couldn’t fathom the pain of what it was like growing up with a father so homophobic he tried to beat it out of his own son. Pyotr had often said Mr. Wilks wasn’t homophobic, that there was no such thing as being afraid of someone’s sexual orientation. Rather, the man was just bitter within himself, perhaps even afraid of himself and he was most definitely a sadist. His son’s homosexuality was just an excuse for him to act out his own troubles onto, rather than Wilks to take responsibility for his own wrongs.

~~ “And there lies the heart of most of today’s problems.” Pyotr would say. “People in general do not want to be confronted with or own up to their own faults or inadequacies, not when it is so much easier to blame an outsider. Someone they have never met or encountered. Perhaps never even bumped into on the train. How can one person’s sexual acts effect their life unless they happened upon them while taking a tour of their bedroom? To claim such vulnerabilities to a subjectification that never even occurred is willful denial of some other, more personal instability. It makes as much sense as getting upset because the person ahead of them in the sandwich line ordered extra mayonnaise on their tuna salad sub.”

“Hate is rarely genuine in its emotion. More often it is handed down from the masses of society. We accept it in order to fit in, in order to mask our own differences among society. To deny ourselves of our own individuality just to avoid separation.”

“Even the growing changes to gain equality set them apart all the more from everyone else. After all, humans are not equal by any sense of the word. Tall, thin, big, round, young, old, strong, wounded, smart, idle, black, white, tan, and these were just a few of the trillion exterior differences. What we lacked was acceptance and tolerance of individuality. And because of that erosion, equality of rights was a fleeting hope like the tide coming in and out.” ~~

The whole thing made Trofim’s head hurt all the more. Pyotr was always sure about everything. His eldest brother had his fingers on the pulse of human nature. A young man at his side who’d brought nothing but love and enjoyment into Pyotr’s world. Even Kimmi— Trofim felt the tears well up in his eyes thinking about her. She was the sunshine in every room. She was what rainbows should have meant. In the shadow of death that never wandered far, she was a kaleidoscope of wondrous curiosity and playful happiness.
It didn’t make sense half the time. Life certainly didn’t give her any right to feel so happy. Like Shay, how could he possibly push everything that haunted him away just because Trofim was holding his hand?

It seemed Pyotr had never once wavered as to who he was and where life had brought him to land. Whenever Trofim went to him to talk, Pyotr was equally confident that Trofim’s emotions were valid. That feeling wrecked and lost was an acceptable place to be. It helped and then again it didn’t, because Trofim wasn’t sure about anything right now; other than he still loved Shay. Everything else was a whirlwind of fear and doubt. Standing in Pyotr’s calm wasn’t shedding any light in Trofim’s eye of the storm enough to know what he had to cling to. But perhaps there was one brother who could. One who wasn’t so sure where his life was taking him either.

Trofim instantly fished out his phone from his jacket pocket and dialed the number, “Zdravo, Jovan. I was —uhm— can we talk?”

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CHAPTER ELEVEN

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With all the stress that had been plaguing them, or just Trofim rather, since Shay refused to acknowledge there was anything to be worried about as long as they were together, it was a relief to have something new to look forward to. He couldn’t deny the tingle of excitement it stirred inside him. It was just a few days ago when he had gone to Trenton Leos’ office to ask for his help to look into Shay’s hidden past. Then he’d finished the night up talking to Jovan for more hours than his ear could normally handle being pressed to a phone. But the relief and insight that his older brother had given him had such a completely different point of view than what Trofim might have gotten from the same conversation with Pyotr, which it had been enough for Trofim to do at least one thing to take back control of his life. So the following day, he went back to Trenton’s office. Only this time, he requested the favor of the Dominus.

Now standing within the entranceway of Club Pain, Trofim felt exhilarated. He sucked in a deep breath and rolled his lips in, watching with some exuberant nervousness while Shay paid their way into the club. When the man he loved beyond measure turned and looked at him with those grey eyes, Trofim thought for sure he was going to simply come apart in an outpouring of emotional sappiness. But in what form all that emotional mess was going to spill was beyond his guess. He felt the heat rise up in his shoulders and in his face with a shade of red embarrassment, while a storm of elation, fear, and stress tumbled out of control inside him. Just then, Shay, his beautiful Shay, did the most perfect thing that set Trofim down the path to settle down.

Shay’s hand snapped out, catching him around the back of his neck and yanked Trofim to him. Their lips crashing together and Shay demanded his way inside. The domineering intrusion of Shay’s tongue as it sought him out to deliver a delectable taste that was only his and some remnants of their steak dinner followed with a bold and fruity red wine. “Shhh—” Shay soothed Trofim when he released their kiss. “You belong to me and nothing else matters.” He whispered into the curl of bangs that were always falling in Trofim’s eyes as Shay’s hand fell away.

Trofim couldn’t help but wonder where Shay’s hand might have gone and was already wishing it would return even if it was to just to take ownership of his ass. But then he did feel it but not on his ass. Shay leaned away and Trofim glanced down finding Shay holding something in his hands— it took a moment for any of it to register, but then realized it was a black leather collar just as it came around his neck.

“This one is just temporary until I find a more preferable collar that appeals to me. But on such short notice, this will do.” Shay whispered to him.

Trofim closed his eyes and let out a long sigh, feeling the leather close around his neck and the whole world seemed to slip off his shoulder. Even if Shay didn’t fully grasp or was even aware of what emotional shift it caused. Trofim was thankful for it without ever having known he needed this. He dropped his head to Shay’s shoulder feeling the surgeon’s touch as the buckle was set in place, claiming him. Those same hands then rested on his shoulders and then Trofim felt Shay press his lips to his head.

“You will always belong to me.” Shay told him and there was nothing in this world that could have convinced Trofim it wasn’t true.

Shay then turned him around and led him down the corridor that spilled out into the club where they were greeted with the strong pulse of rhythmic grinding music and in a sea of body candy for every sexual flavor. Trofim didn’t even have to look he already felt Shay’s eyes walking over his own body.

Trofim glanced down his bare chest, to follow Shay’s gaze. He hadn’t yet bulked out like some of the other guys on the rowing team yet. But he was nowhere near as concave as some of the other models he worked with. Beyond his planes of flesh he wore formfitting, faded jeans shredded with cut after cut all the way down the front of each leg. The faded strings glowing a bluish white from the ultra violet lights that lined the club’s low hanging ceiling around the bar and added a more tanned illusion than he actually had gave off a tasteful tease of touchable skin. He couldn’t resist breaking proper form and he glanced up at Shay, who was nearly drooling over him. Trofim felt his grin from ear to ear, because he knew the whole room could be stuffed with naked men but Shay only had eyes for him. Never before had Trofim felt so wanted and adored as he was when he and Shay were together. But tonight was certainly taking that bond to a whole new height. He was glad he wasn’t allowed to drink, as he already felt rather drunk.

~  *  ~

Shay sucked in a tight breath looking at Trofim as he did, he was certain they wouldn’t get very far in their planned night before he would be looking for excuses to steal his man away and tear into those jeans just a little more. But whatever it was that motivated Trofim to do this, Shay would do his best to follow through. He’d had some apprehensions about it, but then he got the email from this Dominus guy introducing himself as well as offering his time to mentor him and Trofim in their explorations in a D/s relationship. There was an odd foot note too. Letting Shay know that involving this, Dominus would only be conversing directly to him and not through Trofim. For some reason that cleared about half of Shay’s own displacement and ego on the topic. Though he still had some, it was hard to say he was okay with the idea of some other guy telling him what he should or should not do with his partner. But common sense won out. Shay didn’t know the first thing about Bdsm or bondage, only that he knew Trofim was needing something else in their relationship. Something that seemed sexual on the surface but was more a deep emotional need. And with the wrecked that haunted them, Shay knew he could not leave any of Trofim’s emotional needs unchecked. So he would walk to the ends of the earth to care and satisfy his lover. Perhaps it had some tie in with Trofim’s submissive side. Shay’d always known about it, but they never actively explored it. In fact, it wasn’t until Trofim ran away that Shay had any true exposure to it, yet still not of his own experience.