Authors: Cassie Allee
I knew that I had to get out of the hospital and take care of business before I really did croak. I knew those doctors could do nothing for me. It was already Sunday night and I had school and work the following day. If I missed those things Mom would have more reason to be suspicious. I went to the bathroom pretending to have to pee and found some of my clothes in there waiting for me. While I was getting dressed I saw a cup used for urine specimens on the back of the sink and it sparked an idea.
After I was out of that nasty hospital gown I walked out of the bathroom fully clothed and obviously on my way out. Moms’ eyes were wide with anger, but before she could start throwing a fit I slammed the cup down in front of her that contained my urine sample. I wrote on the side of it with permanent marker “Drug Test Sample” and quickly turned and left the room, motioning the boys to follow me. My mom was too stunned and confused to even yell after me, and that’s exactly what I was counting on.
Gray, Risk, and I made our way back to my house in record time and I ran inside to grab Risk and I some sweatshirts. I saw where the paramedics had tracked mud in all over the house and I rolled my eyes. I liked a clean house and those guys should have known better. When I got back outside we all discussed our plans.
“Okay, so here’s what we’re going to do…” I said, “I’m going to the old town square and I’m going to find Roletta. She has to be there.”
Both Risk and Gray gave me a stern look. Gray was the first to speak up.
“You can’t do this Spud. I can’t let you, it’s too dangerous.” Gray said while Risk nodded in agreement.
“Look Gray, I get it. I love you too, but if I don’t do this I’m
going
to die. It’s all on my shoulders now and you have to trust me.”
Gray looked defeated as he stared down at the grass. He looked back up at me with the saddest eyes I had ever seen. “You two are literally everything to me. You’re the only companions that I’ve ever known, and Mar, you’ve always let me tag along with you without ever telling me to go away or calling me a creep. You’ve always just loved me…I can’t lose you.”
I gave Gray the best hug that I could without falling through him and it made my body cold to the bone. I reassured him in every way that I could think of that I would be fine before turning away from him and facing Risk.
“What’s your plan Marlee? This is insane!” He said.
I couldn’t say anything to reassure him that he hadn’t already heard me tell Gray, so I threw my arms around him. The contact seemed to sooth him for the moment so I backed away so they could hear me speak.
“Please keep Gray occupied. I won’t be gone long so play some cards or just shoot the shit, whatever you boys do. You two just keep busy while I’m gone so you don’t have a stroke.”
It was starting to get dark outside as I walked through the woods and the wind was blowing wildly. I pulled my sweatshirt around me a little tighter as the wind bit into me. I grew more anxious with every crunch of a leaf under my feet. When I could see the ocean of glowing red eyes in the distance I started to sweat. I got as close as I could without drawing attention to myself and then I crawled to the bushes where we had our stakeout before. My breathing got heavy as I looked for Roletta and I felt as though I might have an anxiety attack.
I tried taking slow, even breaths, but I couldn’t seem to get any air into my lungs. I felt myself inching closer and closer to passing out with every breath, and then in the sea of red, I saw her. My heart skipped a beat at first, but then something came over me. I knew what I had to do, and that was all I could think of. My breath evened and I straightened myself so that I stood tall with my head held high and my shoulders back. I stood with as much authority as I could muster, and then, I walked.
It took me eleven steps before the first angry one noticed me. I kept my eyes locked on the target and pushed myself through the crowd of Lost Ones, careful not to disturb any of them, but also careful not to let my courage waver. After the first one noticed me, each one that I passed stopped to stare at me. Some yelled at me, or screamed their ear splitting scream, but I kept walking towards Roletta.
She was seated on the side of the huge broken fountain with her hands covering her eyes and sobbing. She never even noticed all of the commotion around her, and I started to wonder if I would find that her eyes were red again when they met mine. I sat beside her, but she took no notice of me. I had the complete attention of every Lost One around us, but Roletta was so stricken with grief that she didn’t know that I was there. I laid my hand on hers and felt the tingling sensation that had started to feel natural to me.
She flinched and her eyes snapped up to mine. I tried my best to hide my smile as I saw the chocolate brown color of her eyes. She looked at me and then looked at her surroundings in a panic
“What are you doing here?” she said, “You’re in danger.”
I showed her a small grin and replied, “You asked me a question last time we were together and I’m here to answer you.” Roletta cocked an eyebrow at me in interest, so I continued, “You asked me what you would do if you didn’t recognize your son. I didn’t know how to answer you then, but I think I can help you now. It doesn’t matter whether you remember him or not. He is
your son
and you’ll do the right thing no matter what. I can tell that you’re a good person and something inside of you knows who he is and what he means to you.”
Roletta smiled at me and it warmed my heart. She nodded slightly with a much more peaceful look on her face, but she turned her eyes back to the crowd of souls that seemed to be getting closer to us and braver. My confidence started to waver as I looked back at the red eyes watching me. I started to feel faint as their energy grew with their hate for me and I knew that I had to get out of there. I whispered to Roletta to meet me at my house and took off in a sprint through the woods away from the Lost Ones. None of them followed me, but I could still feel the part of my energy that was fueling their anger leaving me.
I ran as fast as I could all the way back to my house and collapsed in my driveway when I arrived. I laid there trying to catch my breath for a few minutes with my eyes closed and reminding myself to breathe deeply and evenly. After a few minutes I heard a woman say, “Marlee?” and I opened my eyes to see Roletta kneeled over me with a very annoyed looking Risk and Gray behind her. I smiled an I-told-you-so grin and shut my eyes again.
Roletta, Risk, and Gray hung around long enough for me to get some strength back, and by the time I felt that I could walk without passing out, it was dark. I knew Joey was going to be at the graveyard. That’s where Dale, his dad, said he would be and that’s where I found him the last time.
We all got into my Delray and took off to the cemetery. As we passed through the town square Roletta asked about all the souls wandering around there and we explained what Joey had been doing in more detail than what we had before. She quietly wept for them as we made our way through town. She knew the pain and torment of being stuck here with no one to comfort you.
When we arrived at the cemetery I could see that Roletta was nervous. We all exited the car and I watched her as she wrung her hands. Risk put his arm around me and Gray led us forward to her grave site. We walked slowly all the way there, as if we were trying to hold off the storm. When Joey came into view, Risk and I seemed to hold our breath. We were just steps from the boy when he whipped his head around in anger.
“This isn’t over Marlee. You didn’t hold up your end…” His voice trailed off as the anger suddenly vanished from his features and he looked completely dumbfounded as he caught sight of his mother standing behind us. Everyone was silent for several long minutes as Roletta and her son stared into each other’s eyes. Both of them looked as if they had just found their missing piece. Roletta was the first to break the silence.
“Oh…my baby.” She said as tears spilled down her cheeks. Joey sprinted up to her and wrapped his arms around her waist. Instead of passing right through her, their bodies met and they both held one another tightly while they laughed and cried with joy. Joey then pulled away from her with a serious expression. He wiped his eyes, smudging the dirt on his face, and whispered, “I’m so sorry.” As he fiddled with his hands and shuffled his feet.
Roletta looked surprised for a moment, and then her face was filled with sorrow.
“Don’t you dare be sorry to me baby boy. You didn’t do this to me, I did it to myself because I wasn’t strong enough. I took the cowards way out and left your father all alone.
I
am sorry to
you
. Do you understand? None of this is your fault. What happened to you was a terrible accident.”
Joey sniffled and looked up into his mothers eyes. His eyes matched her chocolate brown color now and without his face contorted in misery I could see how much he resembled her.
“I fell Mama. I dropped my fishing pole into the water and I fell in when I tried to reach it. My foot must’ve gotten tangled in the line or something because I was stuck under the water. There was no way Dad could have heard me struggling. I was all the way under, and I couldn’t hold my breath any longer. It wasn’t his fault.”
Roletta nodded at him and then pulled him into her and wrapped her arms around him tightly. Just then, my phone started to ring. The caller ID was the number to the institution where Dale Harper lived. I almost didn’t answer it, but something in my gut told me that I should.
“Hello?” I said.
“Hello Mrs. Chase. My name is Mindy and I’m a nurse here where your uncle, Dale Harper, is a resident.”
“Yes?”
“You were listed as Mr. Harper’s next of kin, is that correct?”
“Yes ma’am.”
“Well I’m afraid I have some bad news. As you probably knew, Mr. Harper has had a bad heart for some time now, and I’m sorry to say that he has passed away. He had signed a DNR form stating that he didn’t want extraordinary measures taken if his heart failed.” Nurse Mindy said with sympathy clear in her voice.
I started to cry thinking of how I would never be able to tell Dale that everything turned out great with his family. He died thinking that he was helpless and his wife and son were miserable. Risk tugged on my arm, but I ignored him and continued to listen to the nurse give me details of the poor man’s death. Risk became more insistent then and said, “Marlee!” so that he was sure to get my attention. I whipped around to face him, obviously annoyed, and I saw that there was one extra person with us. I almost didn’t recognize him at first, but then it dawned on me. I was staring at the soul of a much younger looking Dale Harper. He laughed as I dropped my phone in surprise then came close to my ear to whisper something.
“Don’t weep for me, dear girl. You made my every dream come true.”
I stood there crying and grinning like an idiot as I watched the reunited family walk away from me, hand in hand. As they walked, their souls began to glow until it was almost unbearable to look at them, and in just the blink of an eye, they were gone.
Just as they vanished something happened to me. I felt as if I had been suffocating and had just gotten to take my first breath of good clean air. I hadn’t realized how weak I had become until that moment when my energy was all returned to me. I felt like I had super powers.
Risk picked me up in his arms and swung me around. “That was fucking amazing!” He said and set me back down. I was so dizzy that I stumbled and fell right on my ass. Risk and Gray laughed and laid down on both sides of me in the grass, surrounded by headstones of somebodies loved ones. We laid there for a long time just shooting the breeze and looking up at the stars with no worries at all.
The next morning I opened my eyes to find a pair of sparkling green eyes staring back at me. I had woken up unusually early, but I was thankful that I would have time to bask in that perfect moment before having to go downstairs and deal with Mom before school. I looked around and didn’t see Gray anywhere. He had, no doubt, taken off to do some ghosty business so he could give Risk and I some time alone. Gray seemed to love that we were together, but he always got extremely uncomfortable when we would kiss or touch at all. I thought that was probably just the fatherly gene in him.
“Good morning beautiful. Your face is already starting to lighten back up.” Risk said a little too chipper for how early it was.
“Did you sleep at all?” I said.
“Maybe an hour or two. I couldn’t keep my eyes off of you. I really can’t wait for the day when it’s normal to wake up with you in my arms.” He smiled and pulled me into his chest. My thin shorts and tank top were letting his body heat seep into me. Risk kissed me softly on the neck, and then the cheek, before his mouth found mine. He barely brushed my lips with his and I was longing for the kiss to deepen, but he had raised a subject that I needed to address.
“About that…My mom and I had a talk a while ago and she said that when I graduate and go to college, she would give me this house as my own if I wanted to stay around here…”
Risks green eyes started to dazzle as I spoke and it made me less nervous to ask him my question.
“And I figured that I’d have a lot of room here, and you may not want to pay rent on a place. Especially a place with bad memories, so what I’m asking is…”
Risk cut me off with a hard kiss. He surprised me at first, but I warmed to it quickly and reached my hand up to tangle my fingers in his gloriously messy hair. I wrapped my leg around him and he pulled me so close to him that we could have been melted together. He started to grind on me and I let a small moan escape. I had to remind myself that Mom was somewhere in the house and I was going to have to keep my cool if we were going to do…things.
Risk pulled away from me for a moment and looked deep into my eyes. “I love you. You’re my forever, I swear.” He whispered and then continued kissing me, but softly this time. Risk and I had really only had the frantic kind of sex that was more heat-of-the-moment than love making, but having him being so tender with me seemed to be much more erotic. He barely touched my skin as he ran his hand up the inside of my tank top. He cupped my breast and started teasingly rubbing my nipple.
I tried to grind on him harder, but he pulled away from me so that we were barely touching. I squirmed beside him, needing to touch him more. To try and hurry things along, I pulled away from his lips and started to kiss down his neck. I teased his nipples with my tongue while I traced his perfectly defined abdomen with my fingers. Risk was putty in my hands as I reached down to feel his length. It was hard and ready, and he rocked his hips, nudging himself into my hand.
I grabbed the sides of his boxer briefs and pulled them all the way off. Watching him spring free of them made my core ache. All I could think about was having him inside of me. As I scooted back up towards him he sat up and pulled my tank top off over my head in one quick move. I watched him as he licked his lips and rolled one of my nipples between his finger and thumb. Before he made me forget what I was trying to accomplish I leaned down over him and took the length of him into my mouth. He gasped and I pulled away, using hand signals to remind him that Mom was in the house.
I put my mouth back over him and started to slowly pump him into my throat. I lightly brushed my tongue over his shaft as my head came up and down. I watched his face to see what I was doing to him. His little moans and hard breathing made me feel more powerful than ever. I was just starting to pick up some speed when I was suddenly flipped onto my back on the bed.
“I would like this to last. I want this to be something that you remember and it makes you weak in the knees.” Risk said and smiled that devilish bad boy smile at me that made every girl melt.
He mimicked what I had done to him, as a payback I guessed. He started by trailing kisses down my neck and to my breasts, stopping to tease each nub on his way down south. When he reached my thighs he licked each one and nipped at them with his teeth a little. I thought that I may have a heart attack. I had never felt so much pleasure and longing before and my heart was going a million miles a minute.
“Please Risk, I need you.” I whimpered, and I heard him give a satisfied groan as he licked his way to my core. I squirmed underneath of him, trying to prolong the moment. I tried trailing my thoughts away so that the pleasure would last forever, but when he slipped a finger inside of me, it was all over. He twirled it in and out of me until I clenched around him and my whole world was centered on that one spot.
I was panting as Risks lips came back up to my throat and then to my mouth. I tasted myself on him, and at first I thought it was weird, but it didn’t take long before I forgot all about it. He positioned himself over me and slowly slid inside of me. I gripped his back as he started to pump in and out, slowly at first, but then picking up speed. The entire time he whispered the most beautiful things in my ear, such as things he wanted to do to me, and a life he wanted to create with me. He painted me a picture of what our future would be like as he took control of every feeling in my body.
I couldn’t hold on to myself any longer and I felt my muscles clenching around him and my world going dark. Just as I decided that I had to let go, Risk went rigid for a moment and shuttered over me. We laid there for a while to regulate our breathing. The perfection of the moment had me grinning from ear to ear, and when I looked over at Risk, he was too.
After a few moments of bliss, the real world chimed in with my alarm clock. I groaned as I rolled out of my bed and stumbled to the bathroom. He had definitely accomplished making me weak in the knees. Risk and I both took quick showers and then he threw some clothes on and headed downstairs. I rolled my eyes at the ease of the male morning routine and began to work on my hair and makeup. I wiped some of the steam away from the mirror, and was surprised by what I saw. The dark circles under my eyes were almost gone, and my cheeks had begun to regain their color. Risk hadn’t been lying when he said that I was perking up.
When I was satisfied with myself I hopped down the stairs as I tried to ready myself for my first contact with Mom since I stormed out of the hospital, but I found that she wasn’t home. I looked around the living room and then around the kitchen. Gray and Risk were both standing by the stove while Risk flipped a few pancakes.
“Where’s Mom?” I directed my question at Gray because he always seemed to keep tabs on her while she was home.
Gray shrugged his shoulders and said, “She left a note saying that she was going to the store. I’m guessing that she’s still pissed at you.”
I cringed when I thought about how I left her the day before. I slammed a cup full of my pee in front of her, because I was angry that she couldn’t believe that I see ghosts. I had a hard time getting anyone to believe me, but simply because she was my mother I expected more from her than a normal human being.
Damn it, I’m a pain in the ass
. My inner self was nodding her head at me.
After breakfast we went to school, and just like any other normal couple, we walked to class hand in hand while smiling and laughing with each other. Risk and I got a few dirty looks from the popularity squad, but we were in our own little bubble, and we weren’t going to let anyone burst it yet. After school I was scheduled to work and Risk wanted to come along with me. Just as always, Gray was sitting at the bar with a blonde bomb shell pretending as if he were carrying on a conversation with her. When he saw me walk in, he winked at me and then acted like he was throwing a roofy in her drink.
Gray is a total creeper,
I thought and then laughed all the way to the employee’s room.
I ran into Remi as I was clocking in and she asked about Risk before spilling her guts about a new guy that she had been seeing. Jane seemed to still be a little sketchy of me. It was as if she genuinely liked me, but she was afraid of catching a disease from me or something. Remi and I spent the whole night using our free time to goof around, or sneaking shots from Jane. I made faces at Gray when I passed him and the blonde next to him caught me once and gave me an awful look, but all I could do was laugh. Risk would grab my butt when I would walk by him and whistle as I shook my ass for him. Remi seemed to be in love with my new love bird behavior.
After we all closed the bar down, the boys and I piled into the Delray and headed for home. On the drive there, Risk got a phone call from his boss at the shop. He argued with the guy for a few minutes then said, “Fine!” and hung up.
“I have to skip school tomorrow. The boss needs me to come in.” Risk said and shook his head.
“What the hell? How can they ask you to skip school?”
“Well I’ve been calling in sick for like a week now, so I kind of owe him.” He said sheepishly.
I hadn’t even noticed that he hadn’t been going to work, and I felt a little betrayed that he seemed to be doing it behind my back. “Why have you been skipping your shifts?”
“I got really worried about you, and I didn’t want to leave you alone if it wasn’t necessary. It’s no big deal really. I’m just glad that I didn’t get fired.”
I felt like a huge douche bag for questioning him after he told me that it was all for me, but all I could do was mutter “thank you.” Risk seemed to understand my discomfort and grabbed my hand. Gray laughed and said, “What a
dick
Spud!” I gave him a really nasty look in the rear view mirror, which made him laugh even harder. I got Gray to shut up by rolling my eyes at him. He hated when I rolled my eyes at him.
When we pulled into the driveway at my house I saw that Mom’s car was there. I gave Gray a worried look and she shrugged his shoulders at me. That was his way of saying that I wasn’t getting out of talking to her. Risk asked if he needed to leave, but I told him to stay. After all, he was part of the whole argument too.
We all entered the house holding our heads down and expecting to hear a good tongue thrashing. Even though Gray wasn’t going to be yelled at directly, I think he felt equally responsible for the way I treated my mom. When the storm that I was expecting never came, I took a look around and saw Mom sitting at the kitchen table, staring at a photo. Risk and I went and sat down at the table with her while Gray hopped up on the kitchen counter behind her. Mom had a strange look on her face, and it was making me worry.
“Uh, Mom…I’m really sorry about the way I left yesterday. I was being a brat.” I said.
Mom stayed silent, still staring at the picture.
“I’m also sorry Mrs. Chase. I didn’t mean to get in the middle of that argument.” Risk followed.
Mom finally looked up from the photo in her hands, and I could see her eyes well with tears.
“No baby,
I’m
incredibly sorry to
you
.” Mom said, and dropped the photo on the table and came around to hug me tight. I was so confused and I looked over her shoulder to see Risks eyes glued to the photo she had been staring at. I let her hug me for a few minutes more before I gently pushed her away.
“What’s going on?” I asked her, and she picked the picture back up. I still couldn’t see what had them all acting so strange because the image was turned towards her. Gray took a peek over her shoulder and laughed.
“Oh man! This ought to be good!” Gray said, still laughing.
“What the hell is going on?” I asked again. Mom turned the picture around so I could see. It was the surprise photo that she had snapped when Risk and I got home from prom. My dress was muddy, and my once perfectly placed hair was in disarray. Risk had a pale face, and looked a little defeated, but he still looked like some sort of model. There was something else in the picture too, something that I almost didn’t pay mind to at first because it didn’t seem out of place, to me. There, walking alongside Risk and I, was a faded figure that was unmistakably Gray. Somehow the camera had caught the image of my ghost friend, and my mom had finally seen it.