Tales From a Broad (31 page)

“You sound like your aunt,” Cooper said,
pointing his thumb at me. “You gotta love her idea of hopeless
romance, but c’mon, love doesn’t work that way in real life.”

I looked at my ex-fiancée as if he were a
stranger. Was this the same guy who had just taken me on a hot air
balloon ride? The flirtatious one who kissed me in the tasting
room?

“What?” He stared back at me. “Remember that
J-Lo flick you made me watch? The one where she gets hit by a car
or some crap, the guy comes to her rescue, and they fall madly in
love? Like that would ever happen,” he said with a sneer.

Landon laughed. “Ooh you better watch out,
Coop. Simon rescued Lucy when she fell off of a ladder.”

I looked over at Tess, who gave me a helpless
shrug. Clearly, she hadn’t told him there had been something
between us.

“Well, I’m sure they didn’t fall in love
after she fell off,” Cooper said with a fake smile on his face.

Simon was picking away at a cuticle on his
finger, and from where I sat, I could see the tips of his ears
redden. An awkward silence filled the room.

“Cooper,” I warned.

“Luce, I was kidding,” he muttered, but he
looked back and forth between Simon and me, obviously wondering
what he had started.

“I’m going upstairs,” I pointed to the
ceiling. “Cooper, can I just call you later? I really have a
whopping headache.”

He looked at me and nodded. “C’mon, I’ll walk
you to your room.”

He held his hand out. I took it and
reluctantly allowed him to lead me up the stairs. When I looked
over my shoulder, I saw Simon staring ruefully at me and felt as if
I were doing the walk of shame. I gave him a subtle smile before
turning around.

When we reached the top, Cooper put his hands
on my shoulders and looked me square in the eyes. “Are you mad at
me?”

“No.” I crossed my arms defiantly. “But you
could have been a little nicer down there.”

“To whom?”

I cocked my head and raised my eyebrows.

“Oh, come on,” Cooper responded as he grabbed
my hand. “I was kidding. I don’t think that guy or anyone out there
for that matter would expect you, a classy lady, to fall for a camp
kid.”

Cooper gave my hand a tight squeeze as he
continued. “Speaking of camp, I knew there was something I wanted
to tell you. I rented a house in East Hampton for the summer. It’s
totally like a camp. It’s got the whole pool, tennis court,
volleyball pit thing going on. I can’t believe I forgot to tell
you.”

“Ugh.” I pulled away from his grasp. “I hate
the Hamptons scene.”

Cooper stared at me with a blank look on his
face. “You do?”

I shook my head and rolled my eyes. One of
our biggest fights ever was over the fact that I didn’t want to get
married in East Hampton. I licked my dry lips and wished I had a
bottle of water. It felt like a wad of cotton was stuffed in my
mouth, and I wasn’t sure whether it was from anxiety or all the
alcohol we had consumed.

“Wait. I do remember you didn’t want to get
married out there,
obviously
, but what does that have to do
with spending summer weekends there?”

“Um, a lot? The same reasons still
apply.”

Cooper raised his eyebrows and folded his
arms across his chest. “Explain.”

“I don’t like the pretentious people that
hang out there, plain and simple. It’s New York City supercharged.
Every trust fund Dick and Jane come out for the weekends in their,
no offense, convertible whatevers...”

I half expected Cooper’s eyes to flash
Porsche logos.

“Honestly,” I said, with a shrug, “it’s a
moot point. I’m still here, and when I finally get home, the last
thing I want to do anyway is to leave the city.”

“The city is dead in the summer,” Cooper
observed.

I held my finger up in the air. “Precisely my
point.”

“Okay, okay, point noted.” Cooper paused and
put his hands on my shoulders. He looked down at me with a deadpan
expression. “How about instead we adopt a tribe of children and
lock ourselves in the apartment until Labor Day?”

A giggle burst through my tight lips, and I
smiled.

“Luce, all I need is you. If I have you, I
will do whatever it takes to keep you, my dear.” He tilted his head
and looked at me. “Do I? Have you, at this point?” He squeezed my
hand and frowned. “I know I don’t deserve your forgiveness, but I
really, truly love you, Lucy Banks.”

Cooper massaged the top of my hand with his
thumb. As I looked into his eyes, something inside of me softened.
I had looked into that same pair of eyes for years. Yes, their
owner had seriously let me down, but he’d also been there for quite
a bit, too. He definitely was a colossal jackass at times, but
those were just deep-rooted insecurities and vulnerabilities that
reared their ugly head at times. I gave Cooper’s hands a tight
squeeze.

“Does that mean you love me too?” he
said.

I looked at him thoughtfully. The creases on
his forehead deepened as he waited for my response. “Yes, I think
it does.”

“It does? You do?”

“Of course I do,” I answered aloud with
conviction. “My feelings never stopped. But you destroyed me, Coop.
I’ve been angry for a long time. I still am.”

Cooper nodded solemnly. “I really want to
make a go at this when we get back to New York. Please. I’ll do it
however you want. We can go slow, or we can even move in together,”
he said excitedly. “I’ll give up my place and everything.”

I couldn’t quite imagine Cooper leaving his
posh pad on the Upper West Side to move into my one-bedroom on the
Upper East. I felt a tight feeling in my throat that I couldn’t
quite identify. I pulled my hands away and coughed into a clenched
fist.

“I think we’re getting ahead of ourselves.
Let’s talk about the logistics another time. How about we just
start with dating for now? We’re a long way off from sharing a
toothbrush holder.”

Cooper wrinkled his nose. I shook my head as
I put the key in the door and turned the doorknob. He had a strange
thing about having his toothbrush in the same vicinity as anyone
else’s.

“Okay,” Cooper agreed from behind me.

I turned around and saw him chewing his
bottom lip thoughtfully.

“Speaking of logistics, I have a question.”
He tugged on his lips. “How many babies do you want, anyway?”

At that point, my head started to pound. I
tucked my lips into a thin line and inhaled slowly through my nose
as I pushed the door open. “How about I call you in a bit? I really
need to put that, and myself, to rest for now,” I said with a
strained smile.

“Good idea.” He looked content as he gave me
a kiss on the cheek. “I’ll be waiting.”

I got inside the room and after the door had
clicked shut, I leaned against it and slid down to the floor. I
hugged my shins to my chest and rested my head on my knees. When
did my life become so complicated?

I kicked off a Jimmy Choo and grimaced as I
rubbed my aching foot. When I took a closer look, I noticed
blisters had formed on my pinky toe. My other foot looked even
worse.

“Figures,” I grumbled. I had a cluster of
blisters on my feet and a boyfriend, or whatever he was, who was
acting like a blister on my butt. Suddenly, the whole situation
felt like a colossal clusterfuck. I didn’t know what was
worse—Cooper judging Simon or Simon judging Cooper. Cooper acted
like such a jerk to Simon and....
Oh my God
, why was Simon
even here?

I sat up tall and in yogic position, I folded
my legs and pressed the heels of my feet together. I closed my eyes
and took a deep breath. “Let it go...” I chanted on the exhale. “It
doesn’t matter that Simon’s downstairs,” I whispered.

Cooper had finally realized the error of his
ways, and now we could have the family I’ve always wanted. Tess
knows the truth. She’s happy.

“Let it go,” I repeated.

Letting go seemed easier said than done. I
pressed my knees to the floor and sighed. Had it only been a few
hours ago when I felt like a tipsy Cinderella? Now all I felt was
miserably sober, doom, and gloom. I sure as hell didn’t recall
Cinderella being this stressed out when the prince brought
her
a fancy shoe. Feeling more like one of the bratty step
sisters, I folded my arms across my chest and kicked Jimmy Choo
across the room.

Chapter
Fifteen

Three’s a crowd.

Facebook Status June 13 at 5:00pm

After deciding that Cinderella’s judgment
hadn’t been impaired by four hours of champagne and wine at a
vineyard, I decided to give myself a break. I allowed myself ten
more minutes to sulk and then turned to an old reliable pick-me-up,
my version of happy hour. I turned on the tub faucets. It was time
to pamper myself.

I dug through my backpack and retrieved a
rotting banana from a fruit stand in Munich and a packet of honey
from tea in London. I mixed them together with the leftover milk
from this morning’s coffee and whipped up a facemask. Thank you,
Self
magazine, for that tip! Then I lathered conditioner in
my hair and wrapped my head in a warm towel that had been soaking
in the running tub.

I had one foot in the bubbling tub when I
heard a knock at the door.

“Hang on,” I yelled as I stepped back onto
the cold bathroom tiles. I figured it was probably Cooper, and I’d
just talk to him through the door.

No. If we were going to make a go at this, I
had to keep it real. He couldn’t always expect me to be done up.
It’s high time he embraced my casual self. Move over, plain Jane.
It’s time to make room for her even simpler sister.

I flung open the door, and to my surprise,
Simon stood there, staring. My heart leaped and then sank. I was
wrapped in a towel and smelled like a sour banana smoothie. He
flashed his handsome smile, and I was reminded of the first time I
had laid eyes on him in London. I hadn’t looked so hot that day
either.

“Hey, what’s up?” Simon said.

My face flushed under his gaze and at that
moment, I was actually relieved I had a mask to hide behind.

“Oh, I’m just keeping it real,” I said,
punching the air.

He didn’t recoil in horror. Nor did he shield
his eyes. My facemask reacted more than he did. A chunk of banana
slid from my face to the floor.

“What?” Simon laughed and bent down to pick
it up.

“Never mind. Just an inside joke with
myself.” I grabbed a tissue from the dresser. “Do you want to come
in?” I said, handing him the tissue.

Simon hesitated as he wrapped the banana
chunk. “Were you expecting company?”

“No,” I exclaimed. “Look at me.”

“Well, you opened the door with such gusto.
Who knows, maybe you’re hosting one of those crazy spa parties or
something.”

“Oh, no,” I assured him with a chuckle. “I
never entertain with a mask on. I figured it was Cooper and to tell
you the truth, I kind of wanted him to see me like this.”

“Whatever you guys are into is totally your
business,” Simon said, holding up a hand.

“What? No. It’s just that he’s never seen me
like this,” I said, waving my hand over my body. “I thought, isn’t
it about time he does? He should know all sides of me, right?”

Simon nodded thoughtfully and leaned on the
doorframe. “I, personally, don’t believe in mystery. Full
disclosure.” He winked, and eyed the towel I clutched
protectively.

Another piece of banana started to slide.
“Maybe you should come in so I can wash this off. I feel like I’m
going to ruin this lovely carpet.”

Simon followed my gaze to the well-worn brown
carpet that covered the hallway. I noticed he had changed out of
flip-flops into navy blue Chuck Taylors.

“Um, I just wanted to talk to you about
something.” He ran his hands down his neck and folded his arms
across his chest. “It won’t take long, I promise.”

I heard a door slam and voices approaching
from down the hall.

“Sure, but will you please come in?” I jumped
behind the door. “You’ve gotten a dose of the real me. There’s no
need to scare the rest of the guests.”

Simon just stared at me as he stuck his hands
in his pockets and played with the coins he had inside.

“Hellooo?” I said, waving my hand in front of
his face. “Are you still here?”

The jingling sound of the coins came to an
abrupt stop.

“I’m sorry,” Simon took his hands out of his
pockets and rubbed his eyes.

I stepped aside and waited for him to walk
into the room. This time I was reminded of the first visit he’d
made to my hotel room in Paris.

“Make yourself comfortable.” I smiled. “I’m
just going to change.”

“Lucy?” Simon took a seat on the bed and
clasped his hands together. “Do you think I can just talk to you
for a quick sec? I kind of regret coming here in the first place
and just want to get it over with.”

I nodded and tightened the towel wrapped
around my head. There I stood looking like Chiquita banana, and yet
for some reason, I didn’t even care. I was more concerned with what
he wanted to talk to me about and why he looked so nervous.

“First of all, please, take what I am about
to say as friendly advice.”

“Okaaay.” I sat on the bed next to him and
folded my arms across my towel-covered breasts. I looked at him
expectantly.

Simon drew in a breath and licked his lips.
“It’s about your ex-fiancée. Or maybe you’ve dropped the ‘ex’ part
by now?” He raised one eyebrow and waited for me to answer.

“I don’t like labels.” With my toe, I subtly
slid one of the Jimmy Choos under the bed.

“Well, Cooper seems to think you do.”

I rolled my eyes and waved a hand. “He likes
to spoil me.”

Simon held up a hand and shook his head
quickly. “I’m not going to go there. That’s irrelevant. Listen.” He
paused to grab my arm. My skin tingled from his touch.