Tales from da Hood (34 page)

“Auull. Ouch! That hurts,” I said with no shame in my game as he continued. I guess him knowing that he was puttin’ a hurtin’ on me only intensified his thrust.

“This is my pussy,” he bragged, looking me in my eyes as he said it with authority.

I wasn't about to let him think that I couldn't handle what he was dishing out. I grabbed his ass and wrapped my legs around his back. I opened myself up to him and let myself go.

“Goddamn,” he moaned. “Goddamn,” he repeated as saliva dripped from the corner of his mouth. That's when I knew I had his ass. He was about to come and so was I.

“Fuck me, nigga,” I added, just to see how it would sound. Brandon would die if I ever called him a nigga. But this wasn't Brandon, the soft, sweet gentleman. This was a muh-fuckin’ ruffneck. Now I knew what the fuck MC Lyte was talkin’ about. And she ain't never lied. That's why I love her to this very day because she kept it real. She tried to warn us, but we thought she was just singing a song. I was getting hooked, this dick was like a drug. I knew I was going to need this morning, noon, and night.

Right as I was about to explode there was a knock on the door.

“Security,” someone yelled through the door. “Open up.”

Before we could do anything, they were putting the key in the door, turning the knob to enter the room.

I didn't give the embarrassment time to set in before I just hopped up and started yelling, “Rape! Help! Rape!”

“What da fuck,” Dee screamed, looking at me in shock.

“Rape,” I frantically repeated.

I could see the rage in Dee's eyes as he punched me in the face. “Bitch, you lying. Is you fucking crazy?” I'll never forget the look of complete disbelief that was on his face.

I pulled away from him and began scrambling all over the room for my clothes.

Security approached Dee as he was grabbing his pants and shoes. Dee punched the security guard with a mean-ass right and damn near sent him to his knees. Before the toy cop could recoup, Dee was gone like Flash Gordon.

I snatched my clothes and purse and ran into the bathroom and locked the door. I began to cry at the top of my lungs. Security didn't know if he should try to console me or go after Dee. Honestly, I don't think he really wanted any more parts of Dee, so he chose me. He stood at the door knocking, trying to get me to open it, but I put on the best award-winning performance ever. I cried like a baby— that is, until the paramedics got there. They finally got me to open the door. They took me to the hospital to get checked out. A rape counselor came in and tried to comfort me before the doctor would come in to examine me. I stared off into space with tears rolling down my eyes. I tell you, watching those Lifetime movies really paid off. I had them all fooled. I gave them a fake name and as soon as the counselor left, I grabbed my Chanel bag and slipped out of the hospital like a thief in the night.

I hopped in a cab outside the Medical College of Virginia and
went home to my Tobacco Row downtown studio apartment that overlooked the James River. When the taxi pulled up, I was relieved to see that Brandon's car wasn't there. Since he has a key to my place, he comes and goes as he pleases. With one fuckin’ thing after another, I still hadn't decided what lie to work up to him about my evening whereabouts.

I changed my clothes to another outfit that I had bought when I went to the mall. It was a one-piece, form-fitting, tight-ass Roca-wear denim pants hookup. I grabbed my purse and the keys to my car and was out the door. I drove with one thing on my mind, Dee and that good-ass dick. Okay, so it was two things. I drove past all the places that he had taken me to earlier. Until that minute, I had never appreciated those camping trips that my daddy had taken me on. Those trips gave me a great sense of direction, but in the hood, everything looks alike.

Any other time, rollin’ through the hood, I would have looked like a fish trying to survive on land. But I learned quickly. My day's schooling was like a person getting a GED in a matter of months versus the rest of us who had to spend four exasperating years in high school. Well, compliments of Dee's homeschooling, I had gotten my SWU degree (Sidewalk University), which is equivalent to a GED in the hood. The famous slogan was up and down the sidewalks: If you don't learn it in the streets, you don't learn it nowhere!

I didn't see Dee or his truck anywhere in sight, but just when I was about ready to give up I spotted the Porsche truck parked in the alley. You would have thought I'd been a little kid outside of a candy shop the way I smiled. I literally wanted to do cartwheels, but I didn't. I was at the point of no return as I rode up on a zombie-looking dude like I was the police about to lock him up. I rolled down the window and asked the zombie, “You know where Dee at?”

“Er'body over in Tabby's house gambling,” he said, then looked at me like I was suppose to give him something.

“Can you go get him for me?” I asked, trying my hand. I didn't know who no damn Tabby was and I wasn't trying to show up on her doorstep unannounced. I don't play that and I know a hood chick wouldn't either.

“You know fair exchange ain't never been robbery,” he said.

“Pardon me?” I said, confused.

“You know, a tit for a tat,” he said, holding his hand out.

Just then, everything sank in. “Oh,” I replied. “You right. So what you need?” I asked, not really caring because I needed him to get Dee for me.

“I'm out here sick as a muh-fucka and I need to get my shot. I need twenty dollars at least to shake this sickness.”

“A'ight, no problem. Well, let's make the exchange then. Just make sure you handle your B-I,” I said, using the word like I had been saying it all my life.

“A'ight, give me the twenty dollars, den.”

I laughed because I had seen this same shit on
The Wire
, I think, or one of them shows, where the clown ran off with the money. All I know is that I needed Dee and he was my only lead. By no means could I let him get out of sight with my $20 and I don't see him no more.

“Look, here go five dollars, hurry up and get Dee. Tell him that it's his cousin that wants him. And soon as you come back, I am going to give you the rest.”

He agreed, taking the $5. I watched him like a hawk as he went into a building. He was only in there a minute or so before he came right back out to my car.

“He said he coming,” he yelled to me, walking toward my car.

“Pull over, cut yo lights off and he coming.” He motioned to me with his hands.

I wanted to see Dee coming for myself before I handed over any more money to the guy. A few seconds later Dee came out of
the same building that the guy had just exited. Once I saw him, I gave the zombie the $15 that I promised, and he was off to get his shot on.

When Dee got up on my car, he saw that it was me. I didn't know what he was going to say or do to me. I just braced myself.

“Bitch, you got some muh-fuckin’ nerve,” he said between gritted teeth. “What da fuck you doing round here wit’ yo police ass. Get da fuck from around me before I beat da shit out of you.” He raised his hand at me and was looking like he was about to turn into the Incredible Hulk.

“Baby, I came around here to bring you what's yours,” I said, reaching into my purse and pulling out his baggie and gun. The most puzzled look came over his face, like he was trying his damnedest to figure me out. Then he slid into the passenger side of my car, still watching me suspiciously.

“I apologize for screaming rape but I needed to create a distraction and it was the only thing I could think of,” I continued.

“A distraction?” he asked.

“Yes, you needed to get up out of there,” I pleaded my case. “I did what any bottom bitch would have done. Even if they caught you, a rape charge wouldn't have been nothing for you to beat if I wasn't around. What's a rape charge with no witness? I had to come up with a way for you to get up out of there so I could get my pocketbook into the bathroom with the drugs and gun.”

He thought for a minute and smiled as he digested what I said.

“You know the bottom bitch is down for whatever when it comes to her man. So, that's why I screamed rape. It was to save your ass, not to have a toy cop aid in locking you up. You know I couldn't let you go out like that. I wasn't going to let you go out when that cop pulled you over, was I?” I asked in a firm tone. “Was I?”

Dee sat there and thought for a minute. “Damn,” he said, sighing and shaking his head. “I'ma keep it real wit’ choo. I figured you
was like, ‘I just met this nigga, he was all fun and games, but now that da shit is grimy, I'ma turn on his ass.’ ” He paused. “Baby, you know you's mines for real. I fucks with you sho nuff.”

A huge grin covered my face.

He had a sudden thought. “But what if they go back to the hotel room and try to get some DNA or forensic shit or something?”

I giggled. “Nigga, please. You been watching too much crime TV. It ain't like you Kobe Bryant and I'm some little white chick from Colorado.”

He laughed and shook his head at me. “Let's get out of here,” he said. “I'ma get my truck. Follow me.”

“Where we going?” I asked.

“Not to no hotel, that's for sure. Let's go to my house where the phone is on.”

He smiled and kissed me on the cheek as I headed to his place.

Fuck da Police

ONCE DEE
and I got to his place, we didn't even say two words. We just screwed. From the minute we walked through the door, he was all over me. I couldn't even tell you what his living room looked like because we headed straight for the bedroom. It was even more over the edge and exciting than in the hotel room. This time we got to come and come and come some more. I was flushed with the orgasm of my life. I thought his king-size mattress set was a waterbed for a minute there the way I was swimming in juices. Before we knew it, time got away from us, and we fell asleep in each other's arms.

The next time I opened my eyes, the sun was just coming up.

“Damn,” I said, looking over at the clock on his night table.
It was seven in the morning, and I was due at the courthouse by nine A
.
M
.
It was a hot case and I knew I could get top dollar for articles trailing it. I had to get my ass up and go, but then I looked over and saw him lying there next to me.

I smiled as I sat there, watching his chest go up and down with every breath. I couldn't resist leaning over to kiss him, morning breath and all. Like a sleeping beauty he woke up with my kiss.

“What up, girl?” he said, stretching and yawning.

“Nothing, just sitting here, looking at you, wishing I didn't have to go to work today so I could spend it with you.”

“No work today,” he said.

“But I have to go,” I pouted as I got up out of the bed. “A big trial starts today and I know I'll get paid top dollar for any articles I write on it. After all, I am
the
Ms. Angel Delaney.” I mocked the police officer.

Dee got up out of bed and went over and picked up his pants. He dug inside of them and pulled a roll of cash out of each pocket. He peeled off a few bills from one of them and placed them in his jeans. Then he proceeded to peel off each bill one by one, throwing them onto the bed.

“Whatever the most they pay you for those stories, I'll triple that shit,” he said with a thuglike cockiness.

I walked over to the bed and began to play with the money, all $100 bills. Needless to say, we lay in the bed all morning long, making passionate love—I mean fucking. I had never fucked on top of money before. I was in complete sextasy.

He told me that lying in the bed all day was something he never did. I started to analyze his comment. Funny, how dudes who hustle, chase the dollars day in and day out. They put in more work than the Donald Trumps and Bill Gateses of the world.

I whipped up something to eat with what I could find in his bachelor kitchen. After eating we fell asleep again in each other's
arms. Evening came. I probably could have slept forever if Dee hadn't woken me up with his movement. He was back on the phone checking the messages on his cell phone that he had lost at the carnival.

“Damn, I missed so much fucking money!” he exclaimed.

“I'm sorry,” I said.

“Oh, no, baby, not because of you,” he lied, not wanting to make me feel bad. He knew good and well that laying up with me was the reason he wasn't out making drug transactions.

I didn't say anything. I just lay there and listened as he made his phone calls. Just watching him handle his business, talking to busters like they weren't shit reminded me of why I was laying up with him, jeopardizing my career.

Out of nowhere I slipped under the covers and made my way over to his hard-on. When I started sucking his dick, just to fuck with his head while he was on the phone, he put the phone on speakerphone to free up his hands while he placed them on my head and bobbed them up and down in sync with my flow. Although my first concern was to make sure he busted a nut, my curious side had me tending more to his conversation than I was slobbin’ the knob.

“Like I told you before, Chicago,” he said, grunting, then continuing his conversation. “I can only hit you with half because I promised Lil Sam three.”

“Come on, Dee,” Chicago said. “A nigga need to get this paper, man. I'm starving and I just came home and shit. You know dat.”

“I feel you on that, Chicago, but know I'm big on principles. All I have is my word.” I looked up at Dee, who was looking down at me. He smiled and I gave him a sexy look then continued handling my business between his legs.

Chicago sighed. “I feel you. You right. So what can you throw me until you get from up top?”

“You wanted four but I can only hit you off with two because I
ain't got but five,” Dee said to Chicago. He scrunched his face because the shit was feeling good. He wanted to bust, but not on the phone. He mouthed to me to hold up for a minute.

I got up and went to the bathroom to brush my teeth, and Dee never bothered to take the phone off speaker as he continued the conversation with Chicago. Once I entered the room, Dee called out to me. “Hey boo,” he said, pointing. “Get that Louis Vuitton duffel bag out of that closet right there.”