Tales From the Hunter Legacy Universe 1: Jane's Christmas (2 page)

"Jon?"

"Yes Alison?"

"What's going on? I can't get back
into my suite."

"Huh?"

"I'm standing here in the passageway,
and my door won't open."

"Did you ask Jane about it?"

"She said to ask you."

"Why would I know anything about
it?"

"It's your ship?"

I sighed loudly. I owned it, Angel was
captain of it, and Jane ran it. Exactly why would I know why a door wouldn’t
open?

"Being my ship makes me the last to
know anything."

"Jon?"

"Yes Alison?"

"Get a grip."

Aline chuckled quietly next to me.

"I heard that. Whose with you Jon? No,
I don’t want to know. Just come and deal with this door."

"Be there in five."

"Five? What do you need to do which is
going to take five?" There was a pause "Oh. Forget it. Just find out
why my door won't open, and let me know please."

"Okeydokey. Jane?"

"Yes Jon?"

"Why is Alison's door not
opening?"

"Technical difficulties."

"Seriously? You can't come up with
something better than that?"

Aline started laughing.

Jane stayed silent, so I figured
confronting her in person was the only way to get a straight answer out of her.
I leapt off the bed. No, I tried. I did succeed in falling off. Aline's
laughter intensified. She crawled over to the side of the bed and looked down
at me, where I was lying on my left side.

"Jon, I didn’t know you liked to get
kinky on the floor."

I raised my eyes in a 'give me strength'
sort of look, which vanished when she pulled herself further over and her
breasts flopped free. My eyes went to them, and back to her face. She grinned
at me.

"Jon!"

"Yes BA?"

"Get your arse down here now!"

"That's get your arse down here now,
sir!"

"Get your arse down here now, Admiral,
your lordship, your ducal pompousness, sir!"

"Give me five."

"Five? What for?"

"Trust me BA," said Aline.
"He needs five. Better yet, ten."

There was silence for a moment.

"Ten. Not a second longer."

It took twenty. The shower took another
ten.

Finally back in 'slinky red', and mindful
of the time, I jumped into the access shaft.

And screamed as I plummeted straight down
in full gravity.

Jane caught me at the bottom with the floor
grav, and laid me gently on the deck. There were a pair of feet waiting there.

"Ah," said BA. "You noticed
the access shafts aren't working properly. We can't go up."

"Jane?"

"Yes Jon?"

"More technical difficulties?"

"Yes Jon."

"Jon?"

"Yes Alison?"

"I'm trapped in the spa room on Deck
Two."

"Consider yourself lucky then. You
could be somewhere worse. Have a spa while you're there."

"Alone?"

"You have a problem with being
alone?"

"Sure. Oh wait, I'm not alone. Aline
just opened the door. Don’t…" There was the sound of a door closing. And
then the sounds of someone unable to open it again. "Okay, I'm not alone
now. We'll have a spa while you sort the door out."

"Enjoy."

"What's going on Jon?"

"I've no idea Amanda."

"Are you going to stay there all
day?" asked Aleesha.

I was still lying on the deck.

"Probably."

BA hefted me back onto my feet.

"Thanks. Now what was so urgent I needed
to come down?"

"I already told you. The up access
shaft isn’t working."

"And you didn’t think to tell me that
before I trusted the down shaft?"

"Oh. Sorry."

"Jon!" Annabelle had joined us.
"What is going on?"

I ignored her.

"Jane?"

"Yes Jon?"

"How long are these technical
difficulties going to last?"

"Approximately forty five minutes, and
twenty two seconds."

"That's approximate?"

"Yes. Give or take a few
nanoseconds."

"Fine. Is there anyone on the ship not
affected?"

"No."

"Is everyone safe?"

"Almost everyone."

"Who's not safe?"

"Those playing no-gravity
volleyball."

"Oh."

I pushed passed everyone, and went to have
a look.

Exactly forty five minutes and twenty two
seconds later, Jane made an announcement.

"Now hear this. All technical
difficulties have been resolved. Lunch will be served in each Mess in ten
minutes. There is a strict dress code in force, and recommended attire has been
laid out on your bed. Suit clothes are not appropriate, although belts can of
course be worn. Don’t be late."

"Jon, what's going on?" came from
about a dozen people at once.

"I've no idea. Its lunch time, so I
suggest everyone follows Jane's instruction to go get dressed for it."

I followed pronouncement with action,
stalked off to the access shaft, and leapt up to Deck Two.

In my suite, I found the Kitty castle
empty, and no sign of either cat. I stopped short in the doorway to my bed
room.

"No."

Jane's laugh came through the coms.

"Please Jon."

"No."

"Please?"

"No. I am not wearing that."

That, was a bright red suit, made for
someone substantially larger than I was, although it looked like it might be
padded.

"Be a sport."

"No!"

Jane laughed harder.

"I thought as much. Look
underneath."

I went over to the bed, tossed the red suit
onto the floor, and found more presentable clothes underneath.

"Where did these come from Jane?
They're not mine."

"Santa Claus, Jon."

"Who?"

"Santa."

"There's…" I stopped. "Never
mind."

Her laugh changed into a giggle, and then
faded slowly out.

I changed, and went into the bathroom to
check out how I looked. My shirt could best be described as loud. It wasn’t so
much the main colour was red, as it had a swirly pattern on it which made it
stand out. My jeans were a deep blue colour, the way jeans were supposed to be,
before black became the new blue back in the late twentieth century, and no-one
had ever really been able to get blue right since. This was right. They fit
damn well too, and couldn’t have been a better fit if they'd been tailored especially
for me. I wondered if they had been. My feet were in an exquisite pair of
boots, which also felt like they'd been made specifically for my feet. I looked
good, if I did say so myself. I made a quick effort to tidy hair and beard, and
headed out for the Dining Room.

The crowd of people waiting outside it,
seemed to indicate there was still a problem with the door.

Before anyone could say anything though,
Jeeves appeared in the doorway to the Rec Room, and bade us enter. A hole
appeared through the group, as everyone allowed me to enter first.

I took one step in and froze. Amanda walked
into the back of me, and we both went down.

I surveyed the room from the floor, while
Amanda picked herself up. I was still giving it the once over, when BA hauled
me up, again, and between her and Amanda, I was moved far enough into the room,
so everyone else could enter.

We all stood there and gawked.

In each corner of the room, stood a tree.

A real live tree.

A real live tree which reached up to the
high ceiling.

Each tree was different, although they were
decorated in much the same way. They all flashed, from multiple lights, wound
around them in ornate patterns. The flashes appeared to be individual to each
tree, but I had the distinct impression there was a co-ordination going on
between them, I was only picking up at a sub-conscious level.

Between the lights was wound brightly
coloured… stuff.

Tinsel.

Between the lights was wound brightly
coloured tinsel. From the tips of the branches, were hanging ornaments of an
almost infinite variety. But one caught my eye.

In the middle of one of the trees, hung a
small scale model of BigMother.

Next to it, the clear ball shone brightly
and cleared, over and over again. I watched it carefully. A miniature sun
exploded, sending yellow light from the center of the ball outward, where it
vanished. Over and over.

Alongside, Kali appeared to be looking out
at us. I nodded to her, and she nodded back.

I looked around once more. The trees were
connected with more tinsel, which also covered large chunks of the walls.

Beneath the trees, were packages all wrapped
in bizarre coloured… was that paper? As my eyes circled the room, I saw some of
the parcels were about grav chest sized, and there were enough of them to make
one each for the alpha team.

Butler droids were circulating with trays
of champagne glasses. As I plucked a glass, I became aware of music in the
background. I paused to listen to it, and distinctly heard the words
"jingle bell rock". I looked around for some jingle bells, but
couldn’t see any kind of a bell. What they had to do with rocks was totally
beyond me.

I started noticing clothing. Everyone was
dressed in something which looked as new as what I was wearing, looked like it
had been made specifically for them, and which made them look, in most cases,
hot. Which made sense, since the alpha team were hot. Even George looked good.
Dick was in a suit which made him look distinguished instead of his usual
detectively.

Annabelle came over to me. Her dangling
earrings flashed as she moved, almost in time with the flashing trees.

"What is going on Jon?"

Jeeves interrupted me before I could get my
mouth open to answer.

"Christmas lunch is served my Lord, Ladies
and Gentlemen. Please make your way into the dining room. Seating is reserved,
please look for your name."

He waved us through the door. I waved
Annabelle through ahead of me, and followed her through.

The room was similarly decorated to the Rec
Room.

The dining table was covered in platters of
food. Whole turkeys, chickens, hot ham, roast potatoes, and vegetables of all
kinds.

I was at the far end head of the table,
with Annabelle opposite me at the other end. The twins were on each side of me,
with Alison and Aline next to them. George and Dick were seated in the center
of each side, and the rest of the ladies filled in along the table, with the
original 266 pilots slotted in between them.

I noticed someone was missing.

"Jane?" I subvocalized.

"Jon?" she said through my PC.

"Are we waiting for you?"

"Why would you be waiting for
me?"

"Duh! You organized this feast."

"What feast?"

"Look at the Dining Room."

"Oh, that feast. It wasn’t me."

"Who was it?"

"Santa."

I snorted.

"Jon?" asked Amanda. "What
was that?"

"Jane being funny. Sorry, private
joke. At least I think it’s a joke. I may actually be asleep dreaming all this.
Ouch!"

Aleesha had wacked me on the arm.

"It's not a dream Jon," she said.

No-one was making any move to begin eating.
All eyes were on me.

"What?"

"Would you like to say a few words
before we eat?" asked Annabelle.

I looked at her for a moment, before giving
in to the…

Well I gave in.

"If anyone has their own version of
grace or food blessing, you are welcome to say it at this time, either aloud or
silently."

No-one said anything. No lips moved. All
eyes were on me.

"It's been a difficult year for us
all. We've had our low points, but somewhere in the midst of chaos, we found
each other, and have come together as more than a group, more than a team,
almost it feels like forming a new family. Some didn’t make it as far as
joining us, and we've nearly lost some of us along the way. But we made it
through."

"Where I come from, we don’t celebrate
Christmas as such, and we don’t do happy holidays. But we do sit down to a
family meal with as many of the family as are present. It's not thanksgiving as
the Americans do it, but we are thankful. We bless our food with our thanks for
those animals and plants which have given of their lives to sustain ours. We
bless our water by holding it up before us," I held up my water glass, and
everyone followed, "and saying 'Love' to it. The water crystals change
shape to match the energy of our word, and our water becomes love, and we drink
love." I sipped from the glass, and so did everyone else.

"What do you call your
champagne?" asked BA, and everyone laughed.

I put down my water glass, and picked up my
champagne flute. Everyone did the same.

"Absent friends," I toasted, took
a mouth full of the bubbly liquid, and swallowed.

Again, everyone followed my gesture with
the glass, and drank.

"Jane?" I said.

"Jon?" she said through ship
coms.

"Will you have the last word before we
eat please?"

"If I must."

"You must."

"Two, Four, Six, Eight, Bog in, don’t
wait."

Everyone laughed, and we began heaping food
on our plates.

Somewhere during the meal, Angel plopped
down on my lap. She and Nut had been fed turkey and chicken as well, but even
though her bowl was empty, she seemed to think what was on my plate should be
in her bowl as well. I idly wondered what Jeeves had been feeding her of late,
since I thought she only ate tuna. Maybe it was eating with Nut changing her
preferences. At one point I noticed Nut on Grace's lap as well, and she was
having the same battle as I was getting food into her mouth past waving paws.
The twins offering Angel titbits wasn’t helping.

Main course morphed into dessert, with the
table now loaded down with traditional Christmas pudding, brandy butter,
Australian style full whipped cream, and a big assortment of cakes and other sweet
things.

Coffee followed for everyone except me, and
Jeeves brought me a ginger ale instead.

I sat there listening to the conversations
around the table. I felt content. Happy even. My first December 25th away from
home, and I’d lucked out with an incredibly wonderful group of people to spend
it with.

"Jon?" came through my PC.

"Yes Jane?" I sub-vocalized.

"When everyone has finished eating,
ask them to come next door, and settle in the Rec Room."

"What's next?"

"Come in and find out."

I chuckled quietly to myself.

It was midafternoon now, and I waited while
people finished up eating. But Annabelle beat me to making the next
announcement. She rose, and talk died.

"Jon, thank you for this wonderful
meal. It's been years since most of us have celebrated Christmas like
this." There were nods from almost everyone. "But you could have
simply told us there was a feast being prepared for us, and we would have
stayed out of the way." There were a number of grins now. "Anyway,
could everyone raise their glasses please?"

I could see where this was going.

"Don’t toast me," I said
hurriedly. "None of this is my doing."

I don’t think anyone believed me.

"Really. I was as much in the dark
about what was going on as everyone else."

"So who organized all this?"
asked BA.

"Santa," came from ship coms.

"To Santa," toasted Annabelle.

Everyone raised their glasses, parroted the
words, and drank.

I rose.

"If everyone is finished eating, Jane
has suggested moving into more comfortable chairs next door."

I led them through.