Authors: Jamaica Kincaid
Talk Stories (11 page)
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This hand-lettered invitation came in the mail. It read:
Mr. Alexander J. Burke, Jr.
President
McGraw-Hill Book Company
cordially invites
President
McGraw-Hill Book Company
cordially invites
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to attend a luncheon
on Tuesday, the fourteenth of November
at half after twelve o'clock
in honour of
ELVIS:
Based on the Recollections of
Lamar Fike and the American People
by Albert Goldman
on Tuesday, the fourteenth of November
at half after twelve o'clock
in honour of
ELVIS:
Based on the Recollections of
Lamar Fike and the American People
by Albert Goldman
The Luncheon: Based on the recollections of some of the guests at the luncheon:
R. Couri Hay, celebrity columnist for the
National Enquirer
and star and producer of his own celebrity-interview show on Channel C, local cable-TV station: “The invitation was first-class. All the important media people were there. The narrated slide show of Elvis was outrageous. I just couldn't believe the dialogue. The lunch, I am sure, was very good. I couldn't stay. I had to get ready to leave for the Coast. And ever since I've been on TV I haven't been able to eat. I only wish I could have stayed, but I've got to rush off to the Coast.”
National Enquirer
and star and producer of his own celebrity-interview show on Channel C, local cable-TV station: “The invitation was first-class. All the important media people were there. The narrated slide show of Elvis was outrageous. I just couldn't believe the dialogue. The lunch, I am sure, was very good. I couldn't stay. I had to get ready to leave for the Coast. And ever since I've been on TV I haven't been able to eat. I only wish I could have stayed, but I've got to rush off to the Coast.”
Milton Glaser, illustrator and graphic designer: “We should get a rebate on the avocado crepe with Louisiana crayfish, but I thought the tournedos of beef was wonderful and the julienne autumn vegetables superb.”
James McMullan, the illustrator: “It was very good, and I really appreciated the slides. This is my strongest impression of it: the focus wasn't on the book to come but on Elvis.”
Anthony Delano, chief United States correspondent for the London
Daily Mirror:
“One has to be grateful for what it wasn't. It was not melon, dried-up filet mignon, sloppy potatoes. They served a decent fourth-growth claret, and that alone was enough to distinguish it from a regular luncheon.”
Daily Mirror:
“One has to be grateful for what it wasn't. It was not melon, dried-up filet mignon, sloppy potatoes. They served a decent fourth-growth claret, and that alone was enough to distinguish it from a regular luncheon.”
Alexander Burke, president of the McGraw-Hill Book Company: “It was a luncheon where we had a lot of fine people that we asked to come. I thought the people were better than the food.”
A girl who wouldn't tell anything about herself: “Did you know that they've just begun to write the book? What if the
author dies? Or Lamar Fike? Or the American people? Anyway, someone said that the book was to set the record straight, because Elvis Presley was a cultural institution and embodied the spirit of his age. Someone else said that Elvis Presley was an enigmatic personality. âEnigmatic.' That's a word I hate completely.”
author dies? Or Lamar Fike? Or the American people? Anyway, someone said that the book was to set the record straight, because Elvis Presley was a cultural institution and embodied the spirit of his age. Someone else said that Elvis Presley was an enigmatic personality. âEnigmatic.' That's a word I hate completely.”
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November 27, 1978
November 27, 1978
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R. Couri Hay, who is the celebrity columnist for the
National Enquirer
and the star and producer of his own celebrity-interview show on Channel C, a local cable-television station, said over the telephone the other day, “I am going to China. I will be there over the holidays. It's going to be very interesting, because, let's face it, China has turned around. My God, I think they are going to be welcoming us with American flags. I'm going with Zandra Rhodes. You know who Zandra Rhodes is? Well, she's in fashion. [We can't seem to escape it this week.] Zandra is taking her sketchbook, because they have promised to open up some museums for us. I'm sure her next collection will have a Chinese influence. I am taking summer clothes and winter clothes. I mean, we're going to hot China and cold China. I am taking jeans, of course, long underwear, L. L. Bean boots, my new Ralph Lauren baseball jacket lined with nutria. It's in red poplin. I'm not expecting any trouble in China. I mean, they are embracing capitalism. I am going to dress in red, white, and blueâI don't want people
to think I am Russian, or something. That should be fun. I am hoping the hotels will be great. We're not allowed to tip, but it was suggested to us that we take little trinkets. I am going to take key chains with the Empire State Building attached to them. That should be fun. We've also been told not to take any ties or suits. Absolutely no ties. Interesting. For me to go away on a vacation, I have to go to extremes to avoid gossip. I mean, I can't just go to Europe, or something like that. That's why I am going to China quick. With their new capitalist thinking, and our recognizing them, and all that, soon it might be like going to the Coast. I have been practicing with my chopsticks, though secretly I am hoping the food will be lousy, so that I can lose a few pounds. That's what I would like while I'm there. A diet free of gossip and calories. We're leaving from San Francisco and stopping off in Manila to attend a dinner given by Mme. Marcos. Then to Hong Kong, which is a pretty normal place. I think it's so interesting how you get to places. We'll be going to China by train from Hong Kong. That sounds interesting. When we get to China, one of the places we are going to is Sian. Sian is such a marvellous idea. I mean, this is so unseen by white eyes. Seven months ago, I went to Cuba, but I had to go by way of Mexico. When you go to these strange Communist countries, you have to go to another country first. On the way back, I had to charter a plane to the Bahamas. The pilot couldn't speak English. Later, I found out we almost crashed. He couldn't read the map. But how many people charter a plane from Cuba?”
National Enquirer
and the star and producer of his own celebrity-interview show on Channel C, a local cable-television station, said over the telephone the other day, “I am going to China. I will be there over the holidays. It's going to be very interesting, because, let's face it, China has turned around. My God, I think they are going to be welcoming us with American flags. I'm going with Zandra Rhodes. You know who Zandra Rhodes is? Well, she's in fashion. [We can't seem to escape it this week.] Zandra is taking her sketchbook, because they have promised to open up some museums for us. I'm sure her next collection will have a Chinese influence. I am taking summer clothes and winter clothes. I mean, we're going to hot China and cold China. I am taking jeans, of course, long underwear, L. L. Bean boots, my new Ralph Lauren baseball jacket lined with nutria. It's in red poplin. I'm not expecting any trouble in China. I mean, they are embracing capitalism. I am going to dress in red, white, and blueâI don't want people
to think I am Russian, or something. That should be fun. I am hoping the hotels will be great. We're not allowed to tip, but it was suggested to us that we take little trinkets. I am going to take key chains with the Empire State Building attached to them. That should be fun. We've also been told not to take any ties or suits. Absolutely no ties. Interesting. For me to go away on a vacation, I have to go to extremes to avoid gossip. I mean, I can't just go to Europe, or something like that. That's why I am going to China quick. With their new capitalist thinking, and our recognizing them, and all that, soon it might be like going to the Coast. I have been practicing with my chopsticks, though secretly I am hoping the food will be lousy, so that I can lose a few pounds. That's what I would like while I'm there. A diet free of gossip and calories. We're leaving from San Francisco and stopping off in Manila to attend a dinner given by Mme. Marcos. Then to Hong Kong, which is a pretty normal place. I think it's so interesting how you get to places. We'll be going to China by train from Hong Kong. That sounds interesting. When we get to China, one of the places we are going to is Sian. Sian is such a marvellous idea. I mean, this is so unseen by white eyes. Seven months ago, I went to Cuba, but I had to go by way of Mexico. When you go to these strange Communist countries, you have to go to another country first. On the way back, I had to charter a plane to the Bahamas. The pilot couldn't speak English. Later, I found out we almost crashed. He couldn't read the map. But how many people charter a plane from Cuba?”
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January 1
,
1979
January 1
,
1979
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Our favorite highlights from
The Steelcase National Study of Office Environments: Do They Work?
, the published report of a survey conducted by Louis Harris & Associates, Inc.:
The Steelcase National Study of Office Environments: Do They Work?
, the published report of a survey conducted by Louis Harris & Associates, Inc.:
Eighty-two per cent of the office workers in this country have positive feelings about their jobs. There is little difference whether the person is male or female, or has been on the job more than six years or less than six years, and little difference whatever the type of job or the job level.
The three most important considerations that an office worker looks for in a job are clarity of the scope and responsibilities of the job, interesting work, and access to the tools, equipment, and materials needed to get the job done well.
During the past five years, seventy-three per cent of this country's office workers have had a change in the location of personal work space.
Ninety-four per cent of today's office workers feel that the way their personal work spaces look is important.
The two most important characteristics of a personal work space are how neat and well-organized it looks and the amount of privacy it affords. There is almost universal agreement on this among business executives and office workers.
More than seventy per cent of today's office workers are satisfied with their personal work spaces.
Office workers on the average spend only 6.4 hours per day at or in their personal work spaces.
The Harris people interviewed one thousand and forty-seven office workers, two hundred and nine executives, and two hundred and twenty-five office designers. None of the office workers, executives, or office designers mentioned the importance of nice, clear, long corridors or of Coke machines. A nice, clear, long corridor is an important thing to have in an office because office workers are then able to trip up or do a fireman's carry on an unsuspecting colleague. A Coke machine is important because an office worker can buy a nice, refreshing drink at it, stand around it and flirt, or sit on top of it stark naked while having a small nervous breakdown or while reading the poetry of Adrienne Barbeau.
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January 8
,
1979
January 8
,
1979
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Here is some information and advice that some editors of fiction (Thomas Congdon, editorial director of Thomas Congdon Books, E. P. Dutton; Thomas Dunne, executive editor, St. Martin's Press; George Glay, editorial manager, Harlequin Books; Newton A. Koltz, senior editor, Bantam Books; Richard Marek, president, Richard Marek Publishers; Maureen Baron, executive editor, Fawcett Books; Betty Prashker, editorial director of trade books, Doubleday; Ann Reit, editor, Scholastic Magazines; Sol Stein, novelist and publisher, Stein & Day) gave to some aspiring fiction writers, each paying twenty-five dollars (including lunch), at the Overseas Press Club the other day:
Word of mouth is what really sells a book. An ad in
The New York Times
doesn't necessarily help, but it's nice for the author.
The New York Times
doesn't necessarily help, but it's nice for the author.
Royalty statements are made out only every six months, because making them out costs a lot.
A fiction writer can write about anorexia nervosa, abortion, death, and homosexuality in hard-cover books for young adults but not in soft-cover books for young adults.
Teen-agers feel the same things as adults; they just don't have the words for them.
The teen-age book-publishing market is a flourishing book-publishing market.
Some fiction editors will buy a proposed book after seeing only a sample chapter and an outline. Sometimes an outline will be enough, sometimes a sample chapter will be enough.
Catch your reader in the first three pages.
Every chapter should make the reader want to go on to the next.
Chemistry is very important between writer and editor.
Big scenes are very important in a novel.
Deep editing is very important in putting a novel together.
Tremendous plot is not always important in writing a novel.
If you have been a nonfiction writer and want to be a fiction writer, that can be very frightening. Journalists are afraid of length; that may be why it is hard for them to write fiction.
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February 12
,
1979
February 12
,
1979
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A quick tour of the Antiques and Memorabilia Show at the Statler Hilton with the man in charge, Mort Berkowitz:
“Over here, we have some Joe Franklin sheet music. Do you know Joe? Joe was into nostalgia long before anybody else. Joe was here for two days. You just missed him ⦠. Over here, everything from old shawls to umbrellas, including old plates ⦠. Quilts here ⦠. Porcelain to Chinese pots ⦠. This is some old scrimshaw. Scrimshaw is engraving on bones or ivoryâmade popular on Nantucket in the time of Moby Dick ⦠. And, of course, silver, which is always popular ⦠. Antique jewelry. Sequins are pretty popular now that disco is in vogue. Any twenties or thirties fashions now that disco is in vogue. Did you know that this is the largest nostalgia show in the city? Nostalgia is very large. So many people long for the good old days, long for something meaningful. I mean, they long to regain their childhoods, don't you find? â¦You see those hats? Beautiful ⦠. Of course, the Beatles are ever popular.
And meet Helene, who is one of the largest Betty Boop collectors in the world. Hi, Helene ⦠. This is really Art Deco. I don't know if you know Art Deco. Do you know Art Deco? â¦That's not an antique. That's just a little horse Kenny's mother gave him. You don't know Kenny ⦠. A collection of tokens and coins. Richard, what were tokens used for, again?”
And meet Helene, who is one of the largest Betty Boop collectors in the world. Hi, Helene ⦠. This is really Art Deco. I don't know if you know Art Deco. Do you know Art Deco? â¦That's not an antique. That's just a little horse Kenny's mother gave him. You don't know Kenny ⦠. A collection of tokens and coins. Richard, what were tokens used for, again?”
“Tokens were used as ads in giveaways to entice business and also to supplement the coins of the time.”
“Thank you. That was very eloquent, Richard. What more can I say? â¦Over here, some books that we all read as children ⦠. Oh, here is something interesting. Stuart, can you explain what this is?”
“This is a viewer for stereo cards and cabinet photos. The original piece, which looked just like this one, was invented in the eighteen-fifties by Antoine Claudet. Ten years later, the American manufacturers made the model that you are now looking at. Actually, this is a copy, in cherry wood. It is priced at three hundred and twenty-five dollars.”
“Thank you, Stuart. Very good ⦠. And, of course, there's Charles Lindbergh. He is ever popular. O.K.? O.K.”
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February 19
,
1979
February 19
,
1979
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“NEWS AND PHOTO TIP:
“When: Monday, February 26thâ11 A.M.
“Where: 1 Times Square, at 42nd Street (main floor).
“Why: The cat chosen for the role of Uncle Elizabeth in the forthcoming Broadway musical
I Remember Mama
, starring Liv Ullmann, will be introduced to the press.
I Remember Mama
will open on Broadway May 3, after its world-première engagement in Philadelphia March 9-April 21. Tara Kennedy, 7, who plays Miss Ullmann's youngest child in
I Remember Mama
and is the owner of Uncle Elizabeth in the musical, will be there to meet her stage pet. Tara comes from Scranton, Pa. She and the lucky feline will be making their Broadway débuts. Uncle Elizabeth's understudy will be introduced to the press at the same time.”
I Remember Mama
, starring Liv Ullmann, will be introduced to the press.
I Remember Mama
will open on Broadway May 3, after its world-première engagement in Philadelphia March 9-April 21. Tara Kennedy, 7, who plays Miss Ullmann's youngest child in
I Remember Mama
and is the owner of Uncle Elizabeth in the musical, will be there to meet her stage pet. Tara comes from Scranton, Pa. She and the lucky feline will be making their Broadway débuts. Uncle Elizabeth's understudy will be introduced to the press at the same time.”
Was the cat a big cat?
No. The cat was not a big cat. The cat was a very small cat.
Did you get very close to the cat? I mean, did you touch the cat?
No. I did not get too close to the cat. I mean, I am a little afraid of cats.
Did the cat have blue eyes?
No. The cat did not have blue eyes.
Did the cat look happy?
I wouldn't be able to tell a happy cat if I saw one. People say little babies don't smile. It's just their stomach griping. Someone said cats live the life of Riley.
Did the cat have a name?
Someone said that the cat's name was Jonesy.
Where did the cat come from?
Someone else said that originally she belonged to an actress but that the actress went to California to do television and couldn't take the cat.
Is the cat a light sleeper?
No. The cat is not a light sleeper. The cat is a regular cat sleeper.
Was the cat frisking about?
No. The cat was not frisking about. The cat was very passive.
Was the cat's coat beautiful?
No. The cat's coat was not beautiful. The cat's coat looked damp. It was raining that day.
Is the cat pretty?
No. The cat is not pretty. Not even for a regular house cat is the cat pretty.
What color is the cat?
The color of the cat is calico. From where I stood, not too close, the cat looked very dirty.
Did you fall in love with the cat all the same?
No. I did not fall in love with the cat all the same.
What does the cat like to eat?
I don't know, but she looked very thin.
â
March 12
,
1979
March 12
,
1979
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