Talk to Me (18 page)

Feeling bloody miserable, I swung the holdall over my shoulder and I headed reluctantly towards Tottenham Court Road tube and as I did managed to catch the shoulder of a man standing just to the left of the doorway, his eyes focused on the doorway of Bar 29. Turning my head, I offered a fleeting, ‘Sorry,’ and caught his eye. He looked familiar. Where had I seen him before? Not that I really cared. I was far too pissed off with life, the world, Emily and myself to give it another thought.

Every inch of the concourse at Paddington was packed as I squeezed my way through trying to get to the platform. I only just caught the 6.35, which meant standing nearly all the way to Maidenhead. I was too lost in thought to care and too wedged in to worry.

Kate’s words were like merry-go-round ponies spinning, going round and round in my head. I’d always dismissed her views as being typically Kate, overly harsh and disparaging. Grudgingly I could see now that she’d been right. Not in everything but she’d certainly seen more than me.

Looking back, a sense of shame filled me as I thought of all the times I’d let Emily get away with things. So she was inept at work; it wasn’t her fault she wasn’t as organised as I was. When Fiona gave her a hard time, I’d always sympathised. What I should have done was point out why Fiona gave her a hard time. Now I knew why. Emily was always ready to blame everyone else for her failings. Look how she’d pitched my ideas as her own and got away with it. In a lot of ways, I was as much to blame as she was. I’d never made her face her faults. To keep the peace I’d encouraged her instead of trying to tell her diplomatically that she was the cause of many of her own problems.

I was disappointed as much in myself as in Emily. How could I have failed so badly to see her for what she really was?

I was still brooding when we pulled into West Drayton. Achingly close to Daniel’s offices. If she could say all those things in her letter to David, what on earth had she been saying to Daniel?

Getting off the train, I was slightly annoyed there was no welcoming party at the barrier. Where was Dad? He was supposed to chauffeur me home in style in his Jag. It was probably just as well. No doubt he would have asked me what was wrong, given me tons of sympathy and made me feel even more self-pitying.

Wandering past the ticket office and out on to the road, I was hailed by a sudden honking from the beaten-up old Mini parked nearby.

‘Ollie, over here!’

‘Ben,’ I said with surprise. My brother didn’t normally get out of bed for anything less than a willowy blonde. ‘How much did Dad have to bribe you?’

‘Hi, Sis.’ He grinned before giving me a big bear hug. I wrestled my bag into the back seat.

‘Mum was dropping heavy hints about cleaning the barbecue. You were less hassle, except she wants me to stop off and pick up another barbie on the way back.’

I looked at him and raised my eyebrows. ‘Erm, Ben. Just how do you propose getting a barbecue in here?’ I indicated the back seat.

He looked blankly at me. ‘Bollocks. Knew I’d forgotten something. I was meant to bring Dad’s car.’

Honestly I do wonder about him sometimes. He’s about as much use as a chocolate fireguard. The epitome of a dumb blonde. Very cute and sometimes very dopey.

During the summer when his eyebrows and hair turn white blond, he looks just like a Thunderbird puppet. This combined with the surf-boy look he’s adopted means that wherever he goes, young impressionable teenagers turn their heads and drool. Not that he would know what to do with a surfboard – I dread to think how much damage he could do with one.

At junior school he was always picked to play Gabriel in every nativity play, until an incident with a black marker pen, a moustache and baby Jesus got him drummed out of the celestial troops.

‘Are you sure it won’t go in?’ he asked, looking puzzled.

‘It’s a Mini not a bloody Tardis,’ I pointed out, my mood beginning to lighten. You could never take anything too seriously with Ben around. He’s very easy to be with and at that moment, just what I needed.

‘With the best intention in the world – unless it’s one of those little portable jobbies …’

Ben’s faced screwed up comically. ‘No! It’s huge. It’s Daniel’s folks one, you know the one we borrowed last year.’

My heart sank. Five minutes and already his name had to crop up. ‘Can’t you get him to bring it over tomorrow?’

‘Good idea, Sis. He can bring it in the Land Rover. Give him a call.’ With that he turned the ignition and slammed into first and tossed his mobile into my lap before wheeling off into the road.

Shit. How did I get out of this one? I tutted and picked up the phone, my pulse racing. If I refused Ben would only make a big deal of it. I needed to pretend everything was normal and that for some reason Daniel didn’t hate me and that he was nothing more than an old mate.

I scrolled through the address book. ‘Digger, Five O, Fossil, Foxy, Gasper, Gert … Don’t any of your friends have proper names?’ I queried. ‘And what’s this one, Me?’

‘So that I can give people my number. Can’t remember it.’

I rolled my eyes and carried on scrolling. I still couldn’t find Daniel’s name anywhere. ‘Ben, it’s not here.’

‘Five O.’

‘Why?’

‘Book em, Danno. You know that ancient programme.
Hawaii Five-O
.’

I shook my head. Boy logic, I’d never get it.

Finding the right number, I reluctantly pressed call.

‘Ben.’

‘I—’

Before I could get a word in, Daniel was saying, ‘Make sure you stay off the beer tonight we’re relying on your bowling.’

‘It’s me, Olivia,’ I said. For a second I thought the line had gone dead. ‘Hello. Are you there?’

There was an empty pause. ‘Olivia. Hi. Thought you were Ben.’ His tone was clipped.

‘No,’ I said forcing a cheery note into my voice. Once again he sounded pissed off with me. ‘Although I could bowl if you want me to.’

I could almost hear the resigned sigh, as if he felt he had no choice but to talk to me. ‘Are you any good? We’re desperate.’

‘Not that desperate.’

‘So where’s Ben, why are you using his phone?’ His voice held an accusing note.

Ben shot me a questioning look. The last thing I wanted was him picking up on any negative vibes. I had to keep things light. ‘He’s driving. Allegedly. We’ve already had several near misses and I’ve only been in the car five minutes.’

Daniel laughed softly and I felt a hollow ache in my stomach at the sound. Shit I missed him.

‘So how many times have you thrown up then?’

‘Very funny.’

‘Sorry, couldn’t resist it. Just arrived?’ His voice gentled as he asked, ‘How’s the arm?’

‘It’s fine.’ My voice went husky at the concern in his. Then I glanced at Ben, who watched me with sharp beady eyes. The little sod didn’t miss a trick.

I stuck my tongue out at him. ‘Ben met me at the station. Except the half-wit came in the Mini. We’re supposed to be picking up your barbie. Is there any chance that you can bring it over on the way to the ground tomorrow morning?’

‘Tell him he’s bloody useless. I’ll ask Dad if I can pinch the Land Rover – we’ll probably need the trailer as well as Miriam has done her usual. She thinks she’s performing the feeding of the five thousand tomorrow.’ I could hear the pride in his voice. His stepmum, Miriam, was an amazing cook.

‘I’m in her kitchen now. Every time you open a fridge door you’re in danger of being buried alive in chicken drumsticks marinating in stuff.’

I giggled. ‘Stuff! Daniel. It’s ambrosia.’

There was a grunt and I could hear Miriam berating him in the background.

‘I’m about to be beaten around the head with a sausage.’

‘Well, give her my love. Are her and your dad coming over to watch tomorrow?’

‘Yes, so you can tell them yourself. It’s their fifth wedding anniversary this weekend. Bloody embarrassing, they’re like love’s young dream all the time.’

As he said it, I could hear Miriam’s outraged shrieks and teasing threats.

‘How about your mob? I heard on the grapevine your dad’s been trying to recruit some fast bowlers.’

‘We’ll all be there, but you know I can’t spill team tactics.’

‘Excuse me! Where’s your loyalty? I don’t want any of this family solidarity rubbish. All the young ladies of the parish are supposed to be supporting the good-looking, virile team not the geriatric has-beens.’

I giggled. ‘I want to get fed and watered tonight. Dad might withhold my wine ration.’

‘If I’d known all it took was a bottle of Jacob’s Creek I’d have signed you up as team mascot ages ago. Now there’s an idea, we could dress you up to distract the opposition.’

‘Dress me up as what?’ I asked, my voice squeaking slightly. Ben did a double take, swerving dramatically.

‘Now there’s a thought.’

Did I detect a slight husky timbre to Daniel’s voice?

‘How about some cheeky shorts? Get those legs out. That’ll get a few pulses racing. You never know their pacemakers might explode.’

His mention of my legs made me blush, remembering when he’d last seen them.

Ben snatched the phone from me. ‘I heard that. Think I’m going to be sick. If Olivia gets her kit off that really will sabotage the game.’

I couldn’t hear Daniel’s response properly.

‘Yeah. See you tomorrow, mate.’

The warm fuzzy feeling spreading through my chest dissipated the irritation at being cut off in my prime.

Ben glanced at me suspiciously before sliding the phone into his shirt pocket. ‘What’s happened to Emily?’ he asked slyly.

I looked at him questioningly. He’s not normally that quick on the uptake.

‘What do you mean?’ I asked, jutting out my chin defiantly.

‘She’s definitely not coming?’ he asked, as we careered around a sharp corner.

With my feet wedged firmly into the front well, I jammed myself into my seat wishing he’d keep his eyes on the road. We swerved again. The car was doing sixty down the country lane.

‘No,’ I said shortly, hanging onto the seat and, through sheer will power, my lunch.

‘Oo, have you two fallen out?’ he said, in that irritating little brother way.

‘Not exactly,’ I said dryly. I didn’t want to go into details with him, it was too raw and he was the last person I’d confide in. If you can rely on someone to say the wrong thing – it’s him. I certainly didn’t want anything said to Daniel. I could imagine it all too clearly, something along the lines of ‘The girlies have fallen out again’.

‘Why isn’t she coming? Not that Dan seems that bothered. I did wonder if they were still you know …’ He glanced enquiringly over at me.

‘If they’re not, it’s news to me,’ I said brusquely.

His face fell.

Typical, Emily was just his type. I couldn’t bear it if she caught her claws into my baby brother. Quickly I added, ‘As far as I know, Emily’s still dead keen. She just hates cricket. What’s Daniel said then?’

‘Not a dicky bird. He doesn’t say much about her. Just call it my intuition.’

Intuition, I shook my head. Bless him. He wouldn’t see a lamp post until he’d walked into it.

‘He was asking about you and your fella. Oops, sorry.’ He rammed the gears into fourth.

Fella. Hello! What fella? Surely not Ned. I would have asked but the last of the hair-raising turns he was negotiating at top speed was playing havoc with my digestion. It was all I could do to hang onto the contents of my stomach. When we screeched into the gravelled drive, pulling up with an emergency stop scant inches from the bumper of Dad’s Jaguar, all I could think about was the relief of being back on dry tarmac.

Tumbling out of the car, I looked fondly up at the house, with its ancient wisteria curling around the front door. Wellies and trainers littered the large porch and I picked my way through them as I hurried into the house pushing open the door, yelling, ‘Hello. We’re home.’

Heading straight to the kitchen, kicking off my shoes as I went, I padded across the parquet floor past the wide staircase. We’d lived in this house for as long as I could remember and at this time of day I was guaranteed to find my parents in the kitchen.

I paused in the doorway enjoying the familiar sight of Mum sitting at the huge pine table with a glass of wine peering at the
Telegraph
crossword, with Dad reading the sports section, a half pint glass of his favourite bitter in hand.

Mum pushed her glasses onto the top of head. ‘Hello, darling. Good trip?’

Enveloped in her arms I breathed in her familiar Rive Gauche scent.

‘Hi, Mum.’ I relaxed into the hug. She squeezed me tight.

I leaned over and kissed Dad on the top of his bald head.

‘Hi, Sweetie,’ he said. ‘How are you?’

Mum immediately grabbed me a glass, and without asking poured me a generous slug of wine.

‘John, have you eaten all those crisps already?’ She tutted affectionately. He blinked with surprise at the empty bowl, giving the room a perplexed once over as if to check that some alien hadn’t sneaked in and pinched them all. Dad was a crisp monster. Every night, except for the first few weeks in January – his official post-Christmas diet detox – there would be nibbles on the kitchen table which he would absently hoover up, hand on the paper propped against the table, the other making regular forays to a misshapen home-made bowl. Mum kept all of her pottery disasters.

Taking an eager sip of wine, I sank into the padded cushion on my seat at the table. My place was laid, complete with my own napkin ring, an ornate O engraved into the silver. We all had our own napkin rings, each one different, collected over the years by Mum’s incessant foraging at flea markets and antique shops. I was lucky to have an O, Kate’s was a C. As a child learning to read this had confused her no end, but Mum said it was the closest she could find. Placid Ben never questioned the W on his.

‘Ah, bliss. I love Friday nights,’ I said, taking another slurp of wine.

‘So how’s work? Kate said you were so busy on a new account.’

At the sound of Kate’s name I immediately felt guilty and prayed I looked innocent as I enthusiastically told Mum about my promotion.

‘Well done, darling. A car as well. That’s great isn’t it, John?’ She prodded Dad who was hidden behind his paper.

He peered over the top. ‘What, dear?’

Rolling her eyes she turned back to me. ‘I’ll be glad when this cricket match is over and I get a bit of sense out of him. He’s been on the phone all week, pestering poor Daniel. Stop that, John.’ She slapped Dad’s hand away, which was now stealing nuts from my little bowl. ‘You’ll never get into your whites if you keep that up.’

‘No, dear.’

I laughed. ‘Team’s all sorted then, Dad?’

‘Yes, dear. Your Daniel has been very efficient and organised. ’

‘Dad, he’s not my Daniel. He’s just a friend. He’s going out with Emily. Remember, my flatmate.’

Mum snorted and I glared at her. What had Kate been saying to her about Emily? Dad hid behind the paper again. I was far too knackered and dispirited to tell Mum the full story about the resignation note tonight, even though I knew I’d get bucket loads of sympathy and maternal indignation.

‘So,’ piped up Mum. ‘Have you spoken to Lucy since the wedding?’

‘Yes, briefly. She told me some hilarious stories. Apparently her mother-in-law was being so vile in the lead up to the big day, that Lucy was having second thoughts. Turned out she’d misplaced her HRT pills that week, and she did actually apologise the day before the wedding, so Lucy decided she would turn up after all.’

‘Poor woman,’ Mum said with feeling. Dad muttered something under his breath. Mum glared at him over her half-moon specs.

‘John, go and see if the pizza is done yet,’ she barked at Dad before continuing to me. ‘I can’t complain. I sailed through the menopause – it was those tablets from Harmony.’

Mum had great faith in tablets from the local health food shop and she was always pressing them on me. I wouldn’t mind, but most of them were the size of horse pills and the last lot she’d given me had made my wee bright yellow.

‘Well, it’s a shame they haven’t given you any tablets for senility − you haven’t switched the oven on,’ Dad chortled. He gave her an affectionate squeeze and turned on the oven.

‘With all those crisps you’ve eaten you won’t starve. While you’re up, bring some more nuts over for Olivia. She must be hungry.’

I didn’t like to confess about the small matter of a king-sized Mars bar that I’d happily munched on the train on the way here.

‘How did it go with Kate at the airport?’ I asked idly, deliberately not letting on I’d spoken to her earlier.

Mum groaned, ‘The usual torture. Every alarm clock in the house had to be set as well as your father’s mobile phone. We have to leave it in the garden shed every night.’

‘Why?’ I asked.

‘Because we haven’t a clue how to switch the alarm off. It beeps every morning at four-thirty. In fact, John, you might as well go and put it out now, otherwise we’ll forget later.’

This was typical. My family are complete Luddites.

‘Why don’t you read the manual or ask Ben?’ I asked. Mum looked blankly at me. Neither had occurred to her. ‘Hand it over. Let’s have a look.’

Reprogramming the phone, I handed it back.

‘So did she get upgraded again?’

It was a standing joke. Kate always got up impossibly early before a flight, not because she was worried about missing it but because she was convinced that appearing at the check-in desk immaculately groomed and accessorised would secure her a place in business class.

‘Yes she did but you can’t tell her it’s pure fluke and most likely because she’s travelling solo. She insists it’s because she looks the part.’

I smiled. The biggest irony was that Kate’s much-loved Louis Vuitton luggage probably cost more than a first class return to Australia.

‘She said your date went well.’

I looked startled. That was news to me. Kate must have been talking to Barney again. ‘She did, did she?’

‘Kate says this chap is very nice,’ said Mum, full of confidence, quoting the gospel according to my sister. ‘Barney thinks he is very smitten.’

‘Really? Maybe we’re going on another date – I must ask Barney and Kate what they’ve arranged,’ I said sarcastically.

‘Oh dear …’ Mum looked worried. ‘Is Barney being a bit …’ she trailed off.

Barney was being a lot … but I didn’t expect anything else of him. ‘It’s all right, Mum. I’ve been out twice with Ned. He’s nice enough but I’m not really interested.’

‘Twice, that’s not … You could give him another chance.’

‘I am. We’re going to see a football match next week.’

‘Football, you!’ said Dad, looking up in surprise.

I shrugged. ‘Got to try new things. Thought I’d give it a whirl. We’re going to the Emirates Stadium to see—’

‘You’re going to see Arsenal.’ Dad’s face had the same meaty bone expression as Gram and Midge’s.

‘So you do you like him then?’ chipped in Mum.

‘I don’t know. The timing’s not been great, what with my arm and—’

‘Sweetheart,’ she cried. ‘How is it? Let me have a look.’

Mum was an alternative health and wholefood freak, so we’d grown up on a diet of lentils and pearl barley. Peeling off the dressing, I resigned myself to Mum’s experimental prodding.

‘Vitamin E oil. That’s what you need.’ She stood up and crossed the kitchen to the medicine cupboard, which Dad referred to as ‘Mrs Quack’s Cure-All Medicine Trunk’. I could hear bottles clinking as she rummaged.

‘I’m sure I’ve got some from the time your father stood on the bread knife.’ When she disapproved he always became my father.

Poor Dad rolled his eyes.

‘I didn’t stand on the bread knife.’

‘Really, dear. So how did you get stabbed in the heel?’

‘My foot slipped on the knife block when I was painting the ceiling.’

Mum tutted. ‘Serves you right. You should have used the decorating stool instead of clambering all over my kitchen units.’

‘Yes, dear.’ Dad sighed winking at me.

There was a triumphant squawk. ‘I knew I had some. Come here, Olivia. We’ll do it over the sink. It’s messy stuff.’

Arguing with her would have been totally pointless. If it came from the health food shop, it was a magic elixir. The minute she took the lid off the small glass bottle, the smell almost overpowered me; a combination of rotting mushrooms and seaweed.

‘That smells awful, Mum,’ I complained, screwing my face up as she massaged the oil around the wound.

‘Do you want a nasty scar? This will help it heal. Trust me, I’m not a doctor.’

‘I know that,’ I said teasing her, but Mum’s attention was elsewhere.

She has bat ears, probably due to years of listening out to make sure Kate, Ben and I all got home safely in our teenage years. ‘John, there’s someone at the door.’

Bloody hell. It was Bill. Could my life get any more complicated?

‘Hello, Mrs M. Hope you don’t mind me popping in?’ Bill said with a grin, as he ambled in to give Mum a kiss on each cheek. He is the sort of person you can take anywhere and from Mum’s point of view, perfect potential son-in-law material.

‘Don’t be silly. It’s always lovely to see you, but I’m afraid you’ve missed Kate. She’s gone back.’

I shot a sharp glance at Bill but his gaze over the top of Mum’s head was completely innocent. Too innocent.

‘No, no. I … em … thought she’d probably gone back. No. I was passing. Yes, just passing. Thought I could, you know, save a phone call.’ He turned to Dad. ‘What er … yes … er what time does the game start tomorrow?’

I turned back to the sink to hide my face. Poor Bill. He was so sweet. Although sweet probably isn’t the word most people would use for someone verging on six foot five, with the breadth to match.

‘Hello, Olivia,’ he said, suddenly acknowledging me. ‘Sorry didn’t see you there.’

No because you were too busy looking for Kate I thought, smiling at him.

‘How are you?’ He shifted on the spot, his head narrowly missing Mum’s shelf of cookery books over the door. ‘Heard you had a spot of bother. Daniel was telling me about vandals in Earlsfield. Not good.’

‘I’m fine thanks, Bill. Just a scratch,’ I said warmly.

I really didn’t understand my sister. When I first met him, like a lot of people, I made the mistake of assuming from his heavy-lidded, sleepy blue eyes that he was slow and plodding. But I knew that wasn’t the case at all. Aside from learning that he had a first from Cambridge, I’d seen him in action. He was like a canny fisherman, biding his time before reeling someone in. It had crossed my mind more than once that he was playing the same game with Kate, deliberately cultivating a laid-back approach by ignoring her spiky comments.

‘Excuse the smell. Mum’s playing doctors and nurses.’

‘Really?’ Bill’s voice brightened with enthusiasm before he remembered where he was.

Dad chuckled as Bill blushed, and then took pity on him. ‘Want a beer?’

‘Only if I’m not interrupting. My folks are out for the night. I was just on my way for a quick pint and bite at the pub.’

‘Say no more. What’ll it be, I’ve got some Old Speckled Hen, Brains SA Gold, Greene King …’

Dad led him out to the utility room where we had another fridge that was always well stocked. I came from a long line of lushes.

Mum shook her head. ‘Poor boy. Shame Kate was never interested. Just as well she’s gone. Give him a chance to forget about her. Debbie Meakin, the new barmaid at the Pea and Hen’s been casting eyes at him. And she’s not your normal run of barmaid. Speaks as if she’s been at Cheltenham Ladies’ College.’

I concentrated on cleaning up the oil, which had left nasty slicks around the sink and had already seeped into my T-shirt. Debbie whatever-her-name was couldn’t possibly be a match for Kate, but sadly she was here and my sister was over 10,000 miles away. Surely there must be some way of getting Kate to contact Bill?

Bill ended up staying for pizza. Dad’s hope of talking match tactics for tomorrow’s game was dashed by the re-emergence of Ben who was star-struck and insisted on talking England rugby. The rest of us weren’t much better and soon joined in.

‘Wow, Bill. Sounds great,’ I said enthusiastically. ‘Who can you introduce me to?’

Dad is nothing if not generous with the wine, I’d had far too many glasses.

The conversation degenerated even further when Mum and I started to dissect the team one by one assessing availability, looks and arguing about who had the best bum. Mum was very concerned about Bill getting cauliflower ears until Bill kindly explained that players wear protection these days.

Whoops, you didn’t! I giggled to myself. And then appalled stopped quickly.

Dad and Mum disappeared at around eleven leaving me, Bill and Ben at the table with another bottle.

When Ben nipped out to the loo, I felt bold enough to say to Bill, ‘Have you heard from Kate?’

He looked startled and hopeful at the same time. ‘Not recently,’ he answered warily.

‘She … she told me you’d seen her in Australia,’ I ventured.

‘Yeah.’ Bill sighed heavily, putting his head in his hands. ‘I’m such a muppet. She’s not interested. Not flash enough for her.’

I leaned over and put a hand on his forearm. ‘Don’t be so sure about that.’

‘Yeah, right.’

‘What if she’d had a change of heart?’

He looked up, hope flaring in his eyes.

I carried on. ‘What if she’d made a mistake?’

The sparkle faded and he shook his head. ‘No. To be honest I was surprised she even agreed to have dinner with me, let alone what … well … you know. Anyway if she had changed her mind, she’s been home for weeks, she’d have called.’

Not if she’d just discovered she was pregnant and his selection for England had just been announced I thought but couldn’t bring myself to say anything. With Kate’s previous indifference, would the timing have looked suspect?