Talk to Me (11 page)

I love you, too, son!

A BELOVED DAUGHTER'S SUDDEN DEATH

I want to introduce you to Joni's daughter, Kelly. Like Scott's son, she was an adult when she passed, but both stories show that a child's age is irrelevant, because to a parent our children are always the little buddy who wrapped their tiny arms around our neck and thought we were heroes. They are the babies who need us because we loved them first, and we are their home.

It is very rare that I do private in-person readings, because my schedule is dicey and can change at a moment's notice. I would feel terrible if someone got their hopes up about seeing me and then I was called away on business. Often my clients travel from far away, and that can be inconvenient for them as well, so I try to stick with my event readings and phone readings.

I cleared my schedule for September to do phone readings and be at home for the month, since I would be in Australia for much of December, away from my husband and our girls. My manager, Mark, asked what day, if any, I was available to do in-person readings, and I told him the tenth would be good. I go by feeling when picking dates; I let the deceased guide me and the dates they give me always end up being important to the person being read. Anyway, my schedule was set, and Joni and Ron were booked for an appointment with me.

When I met Joni and Ron they appeared nervous, understandably so, but both seemed to be good-hearted, good-natured folks. As I began to scribble on my notepad, I felt ‘connected' to their daughter Kelly, and I began to write down what she was telling me and convey what she was feeling. Without going into every detail of the reading—I'll let Joni tell you about it—there were moments of humour and sadness, love and loss.

I could see how much Joni and Ron loved their daughter, who had been diagnosed with melanoma at the age of 33 and tragically died within three months. I could feel how Kelly loved her parents and noticed how easily she came through due to her strong love and will. It didn't escape me that she was roughly the same age as my friend Domini, who had died of melanoma at 31, less than a year after being diagnosed.

Something that happens quite frequently in readings is that the person coming to see me will have a list of questions they want to ask. But before they can even ask them, their loved one will pass on a message that answers the question. This happened with Kelly and, as I explained to Joni and Ron, it occurs because the deceased knew what was on your mind prior to the reading.

This reading took place at my house, something I never normally do, but on this occasion the space I would usually book for the in-person readings wasn't available because of the Video Music Awards.

After the reading, I realised Joni and Ron were looking directly at my family portrait that hangs above my fireplace. Eye-to-eye with my little girls' faces—how difficult that must have been. Existing after you lose a child places you in an impossible spiral: you love to observe other people's mirror images of your baby, all around you, yet these children serve as reminders of the one whom you can no longer touch.

The whole Video Music Awards fiasco ended up being for a reason. Firstly, it brought this couple into my house, so Kelly managed to make it as personal as a reading can possibly get, as I was surrounded by pictures of my own little girls and family members. Secondly, Kelly worked for Sony Music, so music in essence is what she was and also what was responsible for bringing them to my house. I'm glad about that, and the Video Music Awards seemed symbolic of Kelly to me.

In the reading, Kelly kept talking about music being very important to her. Clearly, this is quite true. I also thought it was interesting that Joni told me ‘Wind Beneath My Wings' was her and Kelly's song, because this is a song that's meaningful to Domini and me.
Beaches
was a movie that Domini and I saw together, and I wrote about how special that movie and song are to us in my book
Don't Kiss
Them Good-Bye
. Coincidence? I think not.

So I felt as if Joni and Ron sharing their daughter with me that day brought something special to me, and is a reminder to us all to never assume we'll grow old. Always tell your kids how much you love them.

Kelly kept repeating in the reading, ‘I always knew I was loved; I always felt special.'

Joni and Ron strengthened Kelly's spirit every time they made her feel loved and protected in life. They're the reason she is strong enough to stay connected.

RON AND JONI'S STORY

Our names are Ron and Joni Hewitt, and our daughter Kelly was diagnosed with stage 4 melanoma on 11 May 2009. Three short months later, on August 10, our beautiful daughter was gone. She died one week after her 34th birthday, which was on August 3.

In July 2010, I was still grieving for Kelly and crying every day. I was devastated by her loss. We had been best friends and more like sisters than mother and daughter. If we weren't together, we spoke on the phone daily—several times. I just couldn't accept that she was gone. I had read Allison's book
Don't Kiss Them Good-Bye
, and then I read her book
We Are Their Heaven
. As soon as I finished the second book, I went online to her website. I saw that she was going to be in our area for a seminar, and I purchased tickets. I also registered on her website and listed my private phone number. This is something that I
never
usually do, but as I was entering it, something (or someone) just told me to type in my private phone number.

A couple of weeks later, I had a phone message from Allison's assistant, Mark, telling me that the event was being cancelled, and he asked how I would like the refund. I couldn't believe he was calling. I knew something more was going on. I called him back and asked if Allison was doing private readings. He told me he would have to get back to me. From that moment on, we just seemed to be in sync. He called me less than a week later and said it might be possible, and we talked some more. We spoke again several times, making the arrangements, and at one point he told me he would be calling me the following week with a date for our reading.

A few days later, as I was telling a friend about the possible reading, Mark called me with some information. Then, the following week, on August 3, Kelly's birthday, we were watching Kelly's DVD, and I said I needed to call Mark to see if they'd come up with a date yet. He told me that he'd just spoken to Allison five minutes earlier and, yes, they had a date for our reading. I didn't tell him that it was Kelly's birthday that day, but I knew it was no coincidence. Our reading was also scheduled to take place on September 10, two days after my birthday. It just felt like the whole in-person reading was being orchestrated by someone else, someone who loves us.

My grandmother, Betty, raised me and my three siblings. I had Kelly when I was only sixteen years old, so my grandmother also helped me raise Kelly and later her brother Jim. I couldn't have done it without her. We were all very close and even cared for ‘Gram' before her passing in 2002. As Kelly got into her twenties, she began to suffer a great deal with depression. During her most difficult times, it was my grandmother who she prayed to for strength. She began finding dimes frequently, and I would tell her they were signs from Gram—she was letting Kelly know that she was listening. When Kelly was dying and struggling to breathe those last two days, I whispered in her ear that it was okay to let go, ‘Grandma's waiting for you.'

These things are significant because when we began our reading with Allison, one of the first things that came through was Kelly saying that we were more like sisters or best friends, rather than mother and daughter. I saw the perplexed look on Allison's face because she had no idea how old Kelly was—just that we had lost our daughter. But from that moment I knew it was Kelly.

She also said this reading was a gift to me from her. It could have been for my birthday, but I think it was more than that. I believe she knew how much pain I was still feeling. She knew I needed assurance that she was okay, that she had finally found happiness. While she was alive I would tell her every day that I wished for her to be happy. One of the next things she said was that she was ‘sixteen' again, she was in a good place and happy. This was also what I needed to hear.

Allison said, ‘Part of her never felt she belonged here on earth.'

Kelly had told me on more than one occasion that she wasn't going to live long enough to grow old.

Then, Allison looked at me and said, ‘She's talking about your grandmother.' I just nodded, and she stated, ‘She is with her.'

That had been one of the main questions I wanted to ask Kelly, and now I know they really are together. Allison told me they love to sit around and eat bowls of lollies and Fudgesicles together. This was so Kelly; she loved lollies! And I could just picture Gram eating a Fudgesicle talking about how good it was.

Another important validation was that Kelly was showing Allison her hands and mine, and telling her there was a similarity between them. I held my breath, waiting to see if Allison was going to mention a ring, and she did. Kelly wore two rings on her left hand for probably the last ten years of her life here. I have been wearing one of them since she passed—on my thumb, just as Kelly did. She said Kelly was showing her the ring and explained, ‘She says it carries her energy and it'll help you to feel connected to her.'

Ron is not Kelly's biological father, but he has been her dad for the past 21 years. He loved her very much. Kelly's message to him was this: she showed Allison a coffee mug that said ‘Number 1 Dad' on it. Then Kelly said that he has always been her father, and that he should never doubt what he was to her. It meant so much to him to hear this.

As well as Kelly's brother, Jim, she also had three stepbrothers, Ronnie, Jeff and Kevin, and a stepsister, Anna. Her brothers were all adults when Kelly passed, but Anna was only six. Kelly adored Anna. When she was struggling with depression, she would tell me that Anna was the only thing that made her happy, and she was the only reason she got out of bed in the morning. When she was dying, she said that Anna was the only reason she wanted to live. All of this came through in our reading. The first thing Kelly said about Anna was that ‘she loved her very much and she could do no wrong'.

Allison said that Kelly was showing her the month of July and that she was watching the fireworks with Anna. Anna's birthday is on July 3. ‘Tell Anna that the fireworks are for her,' Kelly said.

Kelly then mentioned she had been with us on that day. We knew this was true because we had taken Anna horseriding on her birthday. When we got back into the car and started it up, Ron looked down at the radio song display and it just said ‘Kelly'. Her name just sat there on the display for a full minute; we knew that she was with us. Allison also said Kelly wanted to tell Anna that ‘she pinky-swears she will never leave her'. Anna makes me pinky-promise her about something every day!

The last message Kelly had for Anna was: ‘Thank you for keeping me going and letting me see what life looked like when I was facing death.' This statement was so very meaningful to me.

Kelly had several tattoos, including a beautiful portrait of my grandmother on her left arm. When we started talking about the rest of the family, Kelly said that while some people were getting tattoos in her honour, she wanted to tell her brother Jim he didn't have to get one. She said she knew that he loved her. Jim had planned to get a tattoo that matched the ‘K' she had on her arm; Kevin had already got one like it, her brother Ronnie and her cousin Angie both had tattoos dedicated to her, and others were talking about it. After I told him Kelly's message, Jim decided not to get the tattoo.

During our reading, Kelly said she liked her cake. It was her birthday the month before, and we'd had a small gathering in her honour. Our family and a few of her close friends came over and we had Kelly's favourite cake: red velvet. Jim lit a candle and put it in a piece of cake for her, which we placed next to her photo.

Kelly wanted us to know that she saw the DVD which her brothers, Jim and Jeff, along with a good friend of hers, put together for her funeral service. They all spent many hours picking out the right songs. We now know that this meant a lot to her. Kelly was also showing

Allison someone holding her hand before she died, and she said they didn't want to let go. Jim had been sitting at her bedside, holding her hand, and he spontaneously decided to snap a picture of their hands with his mobile phone. It is an amazing, beautiful photo, and they used it as the final picture in her DVD.

She also said she makes a good screensaver, which made me laugh. Just that day, Ron had put her photo as his screensaver on his BlackBerry, and two days before the reading Jim had replaced a photo on my home computer with a picture of Kelly making a funny face. Jim said he chose it because he just thought it was a really cute picture of her. And it is. She told Allison she liked her picture.

Kelly had messages for all her family and talked about how we don't have our barbecues in the backyard like we used to; it had been a while since we had one. She wanted us to start having the barbecues again, and not take them for granted. We will do this, for ourselves and for her. She also said that she loves Christmas, especially the presents. It was so important to her to get everyone a nice present, never anything cheap! She assured us that she will be with the family and wants us to have a joyous Christmas, with no sadness. She said that she is the angel on top of the tree.

One of the most significant messages Kelly gave me was that we will not lose any more kids, and that everyone is going to be okay. This was important because our niece Angie, who grew up with Kelly and is like one of our own children, was diagnosed with cancer just a few months after Kelly passed away. It was something really hard for all of us to deal with. We couldn't believe it was happening again. The outcome was much different, though. Angie had one tumour removed and is now cancer-free. The doctors had said there was a slight possibility that it might return, so it was really good to hear this from Kelly.