Authors: Kat Latham
He tugged her panties to the side, stroking her with the back of his finger, letting his knuckle brush her most sensitive bundle of nerves as she writhed against
the mattress. Memories attacked him at the sight of her pink skin. “You were the first woman I ever saw completely naked.” He lowered his head until his breath heated her. “The first I ever tasted.” He went at her with a long, slow lap of his tongue, ending by swirling around her clit. Once. Twice. Murmuring against her overheated skin. “The first to come in my mouth. Around my fingers.”
“You make me crazy.”
“Not half as crazy as you make me.” He dove right in, loving her with his mouth until she exploded with a hoarse cry and legs that gripped his head so tight he thought she might rip his head off. Her hips arched off the bed, but he kept loving her.
As she relaxed her grip, he fumbled for his wallet, yanked a condom out and rolled it down his heavy cock. He kissed
his way back up her body and, with one smooth thrust, drove himself home. He gripped her bum hard, holding her still as he thrust into her, ground his pelvis against her clit in a move he’d instinctively come up with all those years ago. A move that had launched her into orgasm immediately.
Now was no different. She cried out so loudly his eardrums vibrated as he came with her in hot, pulsing
streams. All the strength leached from his body, and he collapsed on top of her. Stuck in a state of post-orgasmic insanity, he buried his face against her neck.
She’d been his first. He wanted her to be his last.
Chapter Twenty-Nine
Move to London. He wanted her to move to London.
Camila sat at a table in the hotel’s breakfast room as the dawn turned from gray to yellow outside. Her pen was poised over the paper in her journal but no words came out. She closed her eyes, all the pain of the past week gathering inside her and refusing to come out. All the relief of hearing
I love you.
All the disappointment of realizing they were no closer to a future together than they had been before.
Give up the camp. Move to London. Be with Ash.
Do it.
The thought of living in such a big city made panic beat behind her ribs. She’d hated living in L.A., and she hadn’t felt all that comfortable during her trip to London. But maybe it would be different. She would be with Ash.
They could start building the life she’d fantasized about when she’d found out she was pregnant.
The bell above the breakfast room’s door jingled, and she glanced over her shoulder, half expecting to find Ash.
She found Hannah instead.
Her breath caught in her throat. “Hannah. Hi.”
The girl’s shoulders were so stiff she looked like she’d been carved of marble. “Hi.”
“What…
I mean…wow. You’re here.” Every clever thing she’d wanted to say jumped out of her brain and ran away, leaving her with the dumbest thoughts possible.
“Yeah. I thought I owed it to the team.”
Right. The team. Not her. But it was a start. “They’ll be so happy you’re here. I think they’re all still asleep. Want to sit with me?” She pushed an empty chair away from the table.
Hannah
hesitated before closing the distance and sitting down. They sat in silence for about five minutes, both of them watching the coffeemaker, the cellophane-wrapped pastries, the disappearing shadows…anything but each other.
Finally Camila couldn’t take the silence anymore. “You can ask me anything, you know. Anything at all.”
Hannah rubbed her fingers together as if she needed something,
a distraction maybe. It reminded Camila of a smoker who was trying to quit.
“Or we can just sit here. That’s okay too.”
“Why did you give me up?”
Camila had expected that one. In fact, she’d prayed she would have the opportunity to do a better job of explaining than she had the other night. “I was younger than you are now when I had you. My family—we were pretty messed up. It was
so hard, Hannah. The hardest thing I could ever imagine. But I wanted something better for you than what I could give you.”
“Did you do it because you thought you’d have a better life without me?”
Camila exhaled on a shaky sigh. “No, sweetheart. I did it because I thought you would have a better life without me. I didn’t—” God, this was hard to admit, “—I didn’t value myself much back
then. It took a long time for me to develop the confidence and maturity that you already have. I wanted to keep you so badly, but I would’ve needed support from the people around me, and most of them told me you’d be better off with someone else.”
“What about Ash?”
“He didn’t know.”
Hannah’s furious gaze flew to hers. “You never told him?”
“I wrote him letters. His father sent
them all back before Ash could read them.”
Hannah’s brows twitched. “That’s…that’s horrible.”
“I’ve never met the man, but I talked to him recently. He never opened the letters, so he didn’t know about you. As far as he was concerned, I was just an obsessive teenage girl getting in the way of his son’s career.”
Hannah picked at the torn knee of her jeans. “Did you really want me?
You can be honest.”
“So much.” Camila swallowed hard. “I wrote you letters. I started as soon as I found out I was pregnant, and I’ve kept it up every day since then.”
“Can I read them?”
Camila’s fingers clutched the notebook as she held it out. “This is the latest book. There are about fifteen more in my cabin.”
Hannah didn’t open the journal. She just stared at it, her face
full of confusion. “Did you ever look for me?”
“It was a closed adoption, Hannah. I signed a disclosure form saying I would be happy for you to contact me, but under California law you wouldn’t be able to get my contact info until you were twenty-one. And I had to wait till then to find out if you wanted me to contact you.”
“My mom said your brother told her your name, even though he
wasn’t supposed to. He wasn’t even supposed to see my parents. And she sent me to your camp so I could meet you.”
Camila nodded. “Pretty selfless gift, isn’t it? She must be worried about you.”
Hannah picked at the rip in her jeans some more, making the hole even bigger.
“Can I ask you something now?”
“I guess.”
“Is your mom right to be worried?”
Hannah rubbed her
chin and stared out over the half-empty parking lot. “Sometimes I feel like everything sucks. Y’know? Like my parents suck, the kids at school suck, just…everything.”
“How long does that feeling last?”
“Depends. A few days sometimes.”
“And after that? Does it just go away?”
“After that it gets better. I can’t imagine having a baby. But I think I’d keep her if I did.”
The indictment cut Camila deeply, but she knew it came from a wounded girl. “That would be your decision to make, and if you ever face that decision I hope your parents support you in any way possible.”
“Did your parents support you?”
“They encouraged me to give you up. They thought I was too young. My mom…well, she kind of understood what I was going through. She knew what I would face
if I had you.”
“Was she a teenage mom?”
“No, she was in her early twenties when she had me. But she was married to someone who wasn’t my dad.”
Hannah’s brows shot up. “You mean, like, she cheated on her husband and had you?”
“Yep. It made life really difficult for her.”
“Wow. I have naughty grandparents.”
Camila grimaced. “Ew. Gross. Those are my parents you’re talking
about.”
A hint of a smile touched Hannah’s lips. “Do you think I’ll ever meet them?”
Oh God. My heart.
“Would you like to?”
“Maybe. I don’t know. They all sound pretty horrible, to be honest.”
“They have their problems, that’s for damn sure. I don’t know much about Ash’s parents, but I can tell you about my family. My dad died, and my mom’s in Montana but I know she would love
to meet you. She’s a little bit crazy, but she’s had a tough life. You have three uncles on my side and an aunt on Ash’s.”
“What about cousins?”
“I think Ash’s sister has a couple of kids. None of my brothers are married, but my twin brother Gabriel has a new girlfriend he’s really serious about, and she has a ten-year-old named Josh who’s really sweet. Very funny and smart.” She nudged
Hannah’s knee with her own. “Must run in the family.”
“He’s not related by blood.”
“No, he’s not Gabriel’s son by blood.”
“So, genetically what you’re saying doesn’t make sense.”
Camila bit back a smile. “I was trying to give you a compliment, not be scientific.”
Hannah turned to her with a serious expression. “So why did you and Ash pretend like you weren’t together all
these weeks?”
Camila stilled. “What do you mean?”
“Oh my God,
seriously?
We’re not blind, you know. The way you look at each other could set the grass on fire.”
“We’re not
that
obvious, are we?”
“He tackled you, Camila. I learned in kindergarten that’s what boys do when they like you.”
Reluctant to get into this conversation, she said, “He’s moving back to London after
the tournament.”
“Are you sure about that?”
All too sure.
“Yeah. I am. So I’m trying to just enjoy what we have.”
“What about you moving to London?”
“Are you kidding? I just found you. No way in hell am I leaving you again.”
Surprise hit Hannah’s face until it was swallowed whole by a big grin. Hannah bumped her knee against Camila’s, and Camila bumped right back. “I wouldn’t
blame you. I mean, there can’t be that many old guys who are in as good a shape as him. He even still has a full head of hair.”
“He’s only thirty-six!”
“You’re right. Still plenty of time for him to lose it, so you shouldn’t make any hasty decisions.”
Camila snort-laughed. “I couldn’t care less if he were bald.”
“Yeah, he’s got good biceps too.”
“I was thinking about his
ass.”
Hannah gagged. “Gross! That’s my dad you’re talking about.”
Camila put her arm around Hannah’s shoulders, buried her face in her hair and finally let herself give her daughter the hug she’d been dying to give her since the day she’d said goodbye.
And, miracle of miracles, her daughter hugged her back.
* * *
Ash pulled on his suit jacket and checked himself in the
mirror one last time before leaving for breakfast. Today was his first match as a coach. First few matches, actually, since the girls would play several today. Camila had gone downstairs to write in her journal an hour ago, and he was eager to see her again. He grabbed his London Legends tie, but a knock on the hotel room door made him put it back down and stride across the room.
“Who is
it?” He’d seen the neighborhood. He wasn’t taking any chances.
“It’s me.”
Camila? His brows drew together. Had she forgotten her key?
He opened the door and—”Fucking hell. Hannah.”
“Hi, Ashford.”
One of his hands was still gripping the door, making him a perfect target as she stepped forward and gave him a big hug.
His heart seized. His daughter was hugging him. And
he was hugging her back, so hard he’d pop her ribs if he wasn’t careful.
Over Hannah’s head, he met Camila’s watery eyes. Or maybe those were his eyes. He blinked hard and buried his face in Hannah’s hair. She’d come back, and just as he’d made a decision about where to spend his future.
Whoever was in charge of his life had a fucking bizarre sense of humor.
Chapter Thirty
Forty thousand people crammed into Petco Park, screaming so loudly their voices rivaled the fighter jets doing a pretournament flyover for noise. The baseball stadium had been transformed for the tournament, with bands playing outside, families picnicking on the grassy knoll just beyond the outfield fence, and rugby fans dressed in everything from replica uniforms
to Elvis costumes.
Camila hadn’t known what to expect from the tournament, but she certainly hadn’t expected it to be so huge. Maybe the prize money had worked to draw a massive crowd. Maybe people were just looking for something different to do that weekend.
Maybe this really had been a futile plan all along. She glanced at the cloudless sky.
Dad, if you’re up there, call in any favors
the angels owe you. We need to win this one. Bad.
Twenty high school teams were competing this morning and tomorrow morning. The top eight would go into the playoffs tomorrow afternoon, and the winners would get half a million dollars. The elite teams representing countries around the world would compete this afternoon and tomorrow evening for a chance to play in the Rio games next summer.
When her team was up, she joined Ash in the coaches’ section, next to the media pit. A dozen photographers and journalists had turned up to interview Ash and shoot some footage of the girls playing their first match of the tournament.
Make that
losing
their first match.
Camila sat on her hands and tried not to jump out of her seat as the girls played their hearts out and were humiliatingly
defeated 58-3. Jen fumbled the ball so often the other girls stopped throwing to her. Marina missed a tackle and flew through the air, scraping her face and needing to come off because she was bleeding. Tori shoved a girl, was shown a yellow card and had to come off for two minutes. If she got another yellow, she would be red carded and out for the rest of the tournament, leaving them with
no substitutes.
And Ash paced in front of her, growing redder by the second. He was a metal fork in a microwave. Any second now he would spark and the whole place would burn to the ground.
Especially with grass this dry.
“Come on!” he shouted as Katie tripped over her own feet and fell to her knees. “You’re better than this. You’re better,” he muttered at a volume only she could
hear. He raked his hand through his hair, the
click click click
of cameras only making his humiliation worse. She gripped the knees of her jeans and tried not to rush over and give him a hug.
Maybe she wouldn’t have to choose between him and her camp. The camp’s future looked doomed.
But Hannah…how could she ever choose between Ash and Hannah? It wasn’t fair—but then, life never had
been. She had to suck it up, make a choice and learn to live with it.
Her daughter sprinted across the field with the ball, the only one on the team who seemed capable of running and staying upright at the same time. There really wasn’t a choice. She wouldn’t give up her daughter again. She wanted lunch dates and gossip, movie nights and hugs. She couldn’t get any of that if she lived in
London.
But she also wanted Ash, so badly her whole body ached with it. He was more than sex, more than fun. He had the potential to be a true partner. A teammate.
And she so badly wanted him to choose her.
The girls played four matches on their first day, and they lost all four. By the time they shuffled off the field, they might as well have been wading through molasses. Not a
single one of them smiled. Neither did Ash. They couldn’t even summon the energy for sarcasm, and worry shot through her. This wasn’t what she wanted. She’d wanted them to have fun, and this wasn’t fun.
As they reached the sideline, she whistled for their attention. “Legends, gather round and listen up!”
They lumbered over to her, tired, sweaty and dirty with skinned knees and red marks
that would turn into nasty bruises. When they formed a circle around her, she spoke to them the way she’d seen Ash do a hundred times. “I won’t lie to you—we’re taking a kicking. You guys are playing hard, but something’s stopping you from playing the way you usually do. Talk to us. Tell us what’s going on.”
They all stared silently at the ground in the middle of the circle, digging the toes
of their rugby boots into the grass and making divots.
Ash looped his arms around her and Hannah’s shoulders and said, “Lean in.”
Without hesitation, they all wrapped their arms around each other and huddled forward. Camila grinned at the difference a few weeks made. During their first tackling practice, they hadn’t wanted to touch each other. Now they did it as if it were the most natural
thing in the world. They were sweaty and stank like a locker room, but they were a team.
“Camila’s right. We’ve been through a hell of a lot together this month, and I know you guys can play better than this. That’s what’s frustrating. If rubbish was the best you could do, I’d be thrilled with today’s performance. But you are better than rubbish. You’re…you’re at least mediocre.”
Hannah
started first with the giggles. Not girly, childish giggles, but the shaking-body, lips-pressed-together-to-stop-them kind that usually came on at inappropriate times and couldn’t be controlled. Then Jen snorted. Finally the whole team shook with laughter until tears rolled down their cheeks. They clutched each other tighter, making every individual twinge of laughter feel like it came from them
all. It rolled through them in waves; when one of them finally started to get a grip, she was soon hit with the giggles again.
When Camila got control of herself, she sucked in a quivering breath and said, “Ash, you have such a wonderful way with words.”
He tugged her shoulder and laid his head against hers, and all the heartbreak of last night came roaring back to her. She wanted him
so badly, but the choice was his. Last time he’d chosen his career. She couldn’t imagine him giving up such an amazing opportunity to be with her. He’d called his team his family. And he would be close to his parents, able to help them out. His whole life was in London. His choice was just as obvious as hers.
“He’s right,” Hannah said, clearly taking her responsibilities as captain seriously.
“We’re better than this. But we want to win for you, Camila. We don’t want the camp to be shut down.”
She gasped, her horrified gaze shooting to Ash.
He shook his head. “I never. I swear.”
She faced Hannah. “Where did you hear about that?”
Her flushed cheeks turned even darker pink. “When I went home, I started reading rugby reports. There was an article that said Ashlington
was coaching us as a favor to save the camp because it was in danger of being foreclosed on.”
His voice was flat and hard as he said, “What site? What was the journalist’s name?”
“I don’t remember but it quoted someone named Lavinia.”
Ash tensed next to her.
“Do you know her?” Camila asked.
“Yeah. She’s a friend. And a journalist. I don’t know what the hell she was thinking.
I told her that info was off the record, and she’s always respected that before. I’ll have words with her when—”
His gaze shot to hers, and she could mentally fill in the blank.
When I get back to London.
“It’s one of the reasons I came,” Hannah admitted. “I didn’t want the team to lose, and…and I like our camp. I don’t want it to close.”
“Okay,” Camila said, trying to focus on
the girls instead of her own problems, despite the way they cramped her belly and crept up her throat. “You need to forget about what you read. The camp is my issue to worry about, not yours. I never, ever wanted you to find out about that. So if you want to play to make me happy, then be happy when you play. You all came to my camp not even knowing what a rugby ball looks like. You’ve worked your
butts off, and you’ve made me so proud.” Her voice started to tremble, and she whispered, “
So
proud.”
Ash squeezed her shoulder, and she found the courage to continue. “Tomorrow I want you to wake up and be excited to play. You’ll have three matches, and I want to see you laughing and smiling.
That
is the best legacy you could give my camp.
That
would live in my memory forever.”
Their
eyes glistened as they silently listened. With a look of determination just like her dad’s, Hannah straightened her shoulders. “All right, Legends. We’re going to do this. Tonight we eat a shitload of carbs, and tomorrow we wake up happy. And we’re going to fight for Camila.”
Her heart just about burst. Her legs would’ve given out if Ash hadn’t been holding her, lending her his strength the
way she’d given him hers earlier.
“Lean in,” Hannah ordered, “and on three—one, two—”
“At least mediocre!” they shouted before breaking the huddle. Camila’s tears turned to laughter again. She desperately wanted to give Ash and Hannah a hug, but they were both already talking strategy with each other and she was left to awkwardly start packing up their equipment bags.
She had just
finish putting their practice balls in the bag when Tori’s hushed “Holy shit holy shit holy shit!” reached her.
“What?”
“It’s the guy.” Tori raised her brows and tilted her head toward the stands in a not-so-subtle gesture. “My guy. My
flat
guy.”
Camila scanned the stands before finding a familiar face just as Ash said, “Jesus. Cally.”
A group of five large men—one of them
absolutely
humongous
—and a couple of women stood and headed toward them. The men wore green-and-white rugby tops and big grins. Ash rushed over to them and exchanged hugs with the men and cheek kisses with the women.
“What do you mean, your flat guy?” Camila asked Tori.
“Ash had these photos made of his teammates. The blond one’s mine. I keep him under my mattress.” She glared at the
petite woman Liam Callaghan had his arm around. “That bitch better get her hands off my man.”
“Tori. Language. And about a dozen other things, like he’s clearly too old for you and already taken. And don’t call other women bitches just because they have what you want. And did I mention too old?”
“I looked him up. He’s thirty.”
“
Way
too old. And way too taken. Also? Don’t tell him
you looked him up. Or that thing about his picture. That’s scary.”
“Mila! Come here a sec.” Ash called her over and introduced her to his old teammates—who were also his future teammates—and their girlfriends. Liam she remembered from Ash’s party, and his fiancée was Tess. Her sister Gwen stood with her massive boyfriend “Little” John. Ash introduced the dark-haired, tough-looking guy as
Spencer Bailey, inside center. She supposed that was his position, not a bizarre hyphenated English name. The gorgeous young guy with a big smile was Oggie, and the short, hairy guy next to him was Schmiddy. Apparently these guys weren’t all that creative when it came to nicknames.
She forced herself to smile and shake their hands, all the while thinking
He’s leaving me for you.
“What
are you doing here?” Ash asked, grinning like she’d never seen him grin before.
“Hardy told us what you were doing, so we decided to surprise you,” Spencer explained.
“Well, it worked. Where are Caitlyn and Libby?”
“Sleeping,” Oggie said. “Libs flew us here, so she’s shattered. And Lily spent the whole flight running up and down the aisles, so Caitlyn and Spencer didn’t get much
sleep.”
“Come on. Let me introduce you to my team.” Ash led them away without giving a hint of his thoughts. If she didn’t know him as intimately as she did, she would assume the girls had won all their matches and he had no worries. His laughter carried when Oggie said something, and he clasped his friend’s shoulder.
The group decided to help the girls work on some of their skills,
and the girls perked up just as much as Ash had. Camila sat and watched along with a few dozen photographers as these brawny, confident men took the practice balls out of the bag and started a match of nine-on-five touch rugby on the sidelines.
Ash played on the girls’ team.
Love rushed through Camila as she watched him pass the ball to Hannah, and it rushed through her again as Hannah
sidestepped Oggie and sprinted down the field for a try. The girls ran after her and jumped up and down in celebration. Oggie’s teammates teased him mercilessly—something about him being rubbish after flights—and Ash smiled as he slapped Oggie’s back in a show of support before joining the girls and jumping up and down in their celebration.
These men were Ash’s family. They had everything
to offer him, and she had only herself.
If that wasn’t good enough, then he didn’t deserve her.