Taming the Rake (36 page)

He couldn’t deny the blistering disappointment. He’d half-expected to see her pale and wan with white lines of strain around her mouth and eyes red and shadowed from lack of sleep. A mirror to his own face.

Had he been wrong? Had he only imagined her feelings?

Not until this moment had he realized how important the answer was to him.

Their eyes met, knocking the very breath from him as he waited for a reaction. Any reaction. A wait that proved agonizing. Finally, he thought he saw a flicker before her gaze shuttered once again and the connection was snapped.

But then the impossible happened.

The impossible that caused his heart first to skip, then soar to the heavens. She was heading directly toward him with a look on her face that he recognized well. A look of determination. Relief crashed over him. She hadn’t given up on him. Sweet, tenacious, little Georgina hadn’t given up. She was going to give him a chance to explain. She, too, recognized the ties that bound them together.

He took a step toward her and stopped with an abrupt jolt as she changed directions. He’d erred. She wasn’t coming to him. She was with Rockingham—who he hadn’t noticed until this moment—and they were making their way toward Augusta.

Not toward him.

He bit back the crush of disappointment, realizing he’d been a fool. She wouldn’t come after him again.

The game was over.

Or was it?

His mouth twisted in a grimace. He had to find out.

Gina had just finished offering her felicitations to the happy couple when the tiny hairs at the back of her neck stood up.

She didn’t need to turn around to know that Coventry approached.

She braced herself, able to control everything but the fierce pounding of her heart. She’d sensed his eyes on her the moment she walked into the room. Why, she couldn’t guess. He’d made his disdain for her perfectly clear at Wycombe. Still, she’d known that they were bound to cross paths tonight at some point. Apparently, the time for confrontation had arrived.

Her legs jiggled like jelly, but she forced herself to stand tall. She would get through this. She refused to allow this man to hurt her ever again.

A week of reflection had done nothing to dull the whiplash of shock and pain that she’d experienced in those ghastly caves.

The long journey back to London in Lord Rockingham’s carriage was largely a blur, but thankfully, he’d kept his promise. Cecelia had returned not long after Gina crept her way back into Cecelia’s chambers. Apparently, they both had much to thank Lord Rockingham for. It was only due to his intervention that they’d narrowly escaped disaster. When Cecelia had gone back to check the hack, it and its crooked driver had disappeared. Without Rockingham, they would have been stranded at Wycombe, and their secret journey would surely have been discovered.

Gina frowned. Other than to assure Gina that she was unhurt, Cecelia had been unusually recalcitrant about discussing what had happened after they were separated. Indeed, as if by some unspoken understanding, neither of them seemed inclined to share their accounts of the events of that evening.

Events
. A rather innocuous way of putting it. An unwanted image assailed her of the woman on his lap throwing her head back in pleasure as their bodies moved together. Gina felt the blow as if it had just happened. Would she never purge the image from her mind?

He’d known it was her and had deliberately wanted to hurt her. In one vicious act he’d slain her love.

Without ever giving her the opportunity to explain.

In not confiding in him about the wager, Gina had made a mistake—she knew that—but it did not excuse his reaction. Would he regress to his old habits every time she erred? Would she have to chase him down and pull him from the clutches of another woman each time she disappointed him?

She couldn’t live like that.

Even if Coventry were to regret his actions, it wouldn’t matter. She deserved a man who valued her, and clearly, by his own words and actions, Coventry did not.

She thought she’d seen something deeper in him. A vulnerable boy hiding beneath a bitter, cynical man. She hadn’t imagined the kindness to his sister and his tenderness with her… had she? She’d thought he’d needed her. Maybe she’d been blinded by his handsome face. Maybe she’d seen what she wanted to see, and he was in fact, as he appeared. A hard, cruel man bent on finding pleasure whatever way he could.

Still, a small part of her shattered heart went out to him. To the man who chose a life of isolation over the richness of the life that could be his. She understood him, understood the pain that prevented him from accepting her love. He was a hard man, forged by the unpleasantness of his past. But she would not make excuses for him any longer. Compassion and understanding would not make her his whipping post.

He’d gone too far.

She pushed the image from her mind and felt a reassuring squeeze on her arm. She looked up into the worried, though undeniably striking, blue eyes of Lord Rockingham.

“Be forewarned”—he bent down to whisper in her ear—“There is a gentleman making his way toward us.”

She might argue about the word gentleman, but she gave him a grateful smile. Despite his rakish proclivity, Gina had discovered that Lord Rockingham was a genuinely kind man. Not for the first time she wondered why she couldn’t have fallen in love with someone like him.

With the end of the season approaching, Gina knew her time for a decision was running out. Her father would return from the country at any time, and when he did, he’d expect an answer. The man she’d fallen in love with was lost to her; it no longer made a difference whom she married. Why not the man her father had chosen for her? She would never love him, but she liked him, and he seemed to admire her. Perhaps that was enough.

“Thank you for the warning, but that is all in the past,” she said firmly.

He quirked his mouth, disbelieving. “As you say. But say the word…”

She shook her head. “It won’t be necessary.” She didn’t need Lord Rockingham to rescue her. She wasn’t in any danger from Lord Coventry. He no longer had the power to hurt her.

She chanced a glance in Coventry’s direction only to see his face cloud with anger. Steeling herself for the coming storm, she wondered what other punishment he sought to inflict on her.

Punishment for the crime of daring to love a scoundrel.

He made his way to her, not knowing what he was going to say, but knowing that he had to say something. He couldn’t go on like this.

As he drew closer, he didn’t miss the intimate exchange between her and Rockingham. Nor the way the other man’s hand possessively held her arm, or the tender smile she gave him as they looked into each other’s eyes. Coventry’s muscles tensed. Not only had her recovery been swift, but had she already replaced him in her affections? Though he knew he had no right, he couldn’t prevent the spark of jealousy and anger. Anger that only intensified when her eyes washed over him as if he were invisible.

His sense of foreboding increased. With each passing minute, she was slipping farther and farther away from him. Or maybe—he fought a spike of panic—she’d already slipped away for good.

She was cold and remote, every inch the prim and proper lady. It was as if all the emotion had been sucked right out of her, only to be replaced by a beautiful placid mask.

“Oh, James.” Augusta swept to his side as he joined them. “Everything is so beautiful. How can I ever thank you?”

“You already have.” He dropped a brisk kiss on her cheek.

Before he had a chance to say anything further, Augusta launched into a detailed description of all the wonderful and thoughtful things her dear brother had done for her in the past weeks. He appreciated the show of sisterly loyalty, but he wished she’d exercise a bit of restraint. It sounded more like she was making his case for beautification.

Georgina remained unmoved. “Lord Coventry is all that is considerate, I’m sure.”

“A veritable saint,” Ash said with a mischievous twinkle in his eye.

Coventry cast an approving glance to his sister when her elbow accidentally met her fiancé’s stomach. He was trying to think of a way to get Georgina alone, when Rockingham beat him to the punch.

Pulling Georgina tighter under his protective wing, Rockingham said, “If you’ll excuse us.”

And before Coventry could object, Rockingham led her away, leaving Coventry to seethe in silence.

He didn’t know what he’d expected, but it hadn’t been the total lack of emotion. The total indifference. She’d barely deigned to look at him.

He didn’t know what he wanted from her, but it hadn’t been that. He had to think of a way to get her alone. She had every right to be angry and hurt, he reminded himself. But once she learned the truth, she would see that it was all just a mistake… wouldn’t she?

He ignored the sympathetic looks shot his way by Augusta. He didn’t deserve her pity. She didn’t know the truth. Were she to find out, it would certainly tarnish the shine of his armor.

“
Are you just going to stand there watching, or do you want to join us?
”

He cringed. Christ, had he really said that to her?

Moving away from Augusta and Ash, he circled the room to greet his guests. All the while painstakingly aware of her every movement.

He had to be patient. Rockingham couldn’t stay at her side all night. Sooner or later, he would have to relinquish her. And when he did, Coventry would be waiting.

It didn’t take long. When nature took its inevitable course, he followed her, lying in ambush as she exited the upstairs chamber set aside for the female guests. Fortunately, she did not seem to share the tendency of her sex to visit the room in pairs.

She gasped when he came up behind her. Before she could react, he pulled her back tight against his chest and drew her into an empty chamber. She did not struggle, apparently recognizing him. He had to force himself to release her. The scent of her hair and the sensation of her body pressed against his had already worked its magic. The simple pleasure of holding her in his arms was excruciating in its perfection.

Seeing her tonight had crystallized one thing. He wasn’t closed off. Far from it. Where Georgina was concerned, he felt every blasted thing.

“Did you think to avoid me all night?” he whispered close to her ear.

She spun out of his arms and stared at him with those wide, luminous green eyes as if he were half-crazed. Perhaps he was.

“Truth be told, I didn’t consider it at all.”

“You lie.”

One corner of her mouth lifted with wry amusement. “Your arrogance has not deserted you. You may believe what you wish, Lord Coventry. But since it appears you would like to discuss something with me, please do so, and be done with it.”

Where was the anger? The hurt? The rash of insults he deserved? He wanted to pull her into his arms and shake her. To kiss that delectable mouth until her lips quivered with desire. To force her to acknowledge him.

Unable to stop himself, he reached down to stroke her face, instilling all the regret and tenderness he could into the one small motion. Her skin felt cold. She didn’t move, not even to flinch. It was as if she were made of marble.

Dear God, what had he done to her? To them?

“I want to apologize.”

She laughed, adroitly stepping away from his hold. “For what?”

He didn’t like this at all. This obtuse indifference. What was she doing? Why was she acting like this? Was she trying to goad him? Coventry fought to control his frustration.
You deserve it
. “For what you saw. It’s not what you think.”

Her eyes turned to ice. “I assure you, you don’t want to know what I think.” She peered down her tiny nose at him. “What precisely is it that you wish to apologize for? There is such a long and distinguished list of transgressions to choose from. Hmm…” She pretended to consider. “Do you apologize for making me believe you were something you are not? For seducing me under false pretense? For breaking your word?” Her voice turned slightly shrill. “For not even giving me the chance to explain before you took another woman to your bed? For getting caught? Or perhaps you are only apologizing for enjoying it?”

Coventry flinched. Though he knew it was no less than he deserved. He took her arm, trying to block out the fresh surge of pain when she shrank from his touch. “Please, hear me out. My conduct was reprehensible, but I did not do what you think. I did not betray you.”

She stared at him, incredulity and outrage written all over her lovely features. “Do you have an evil twin of whom I am not aware?”

He flushed angrily but told himself she had reason for her sarcasm. When she learned the truth, she would understand. “You saw what I wanted you to see. I did not enter her. I wasn’t… I couldn’t…” He raked his fingers through his hair uncomfortably. “I wasn’t hard, damn it.”

She stared at him for so long that he wanted to squirm. Hell, he probably was.

“So her cries of pleasure were all for show?”

He hoped he didn’t look as uncomfortable as he felt. “They were real, they just had nothing to do with anything I was doing to her.”

“Is that…?” She stopped her question, shaking her head as if it didn’t matter. Meeting his gaze challengingly, she said, “So you had a naked woman on your lap who was touching you—stroking you—intimately, who was taking her pleasure in your lap, but because you only made it look as if you found pleasure in the act to hurt me, but didn’t have the capability of entering her, it really wasn’t a betrayal, is that it?”

When she said it like that, it didn’t sound as instantly understandable as he thought. “Believe me, Gina, if I could take back all of it, I would.”

“But you can’t. And you’ve lost the right to call me that.” She held his gaze for a long moment. “Answer me this. If your body had cooperated, would we still be having this conversation?”

He was definitely squirming now. “I won’t lie to you. I went to Wycombe that night with every intention of erasing my memories of you.” He felt her stiffen; his heart squeezed at the pain he was causing her. But it was necessary. She deserved the truth. “But when it came down to it, I couldn’t do it.”