Tangled Betrayals (13 page)

Chapter Twenty-Eight

James was furious. How dare Mary tell Thomas she couldn’t forgive him? What the hell did Thomas do that he’d need forgiveness from Mary! Then, James saw Thomas riding up; he walked over to the corral and waited so they could speak privately.

“Hey, James, what a nice surprise
! What are you doing out this way?” Thomas asked, as he pulled his mount next to where James was standing. When Thomas realized James hadn’t responded he glanced again at James. He could tell he was angry, very angry, by the bulging vein on the side of his neck and his clenched jaw. His eyes were dark and glaring.

Thomas looked worried
, James thought. There was a time when James thought he and Thomas could tell each other anything, as good friends should. Now he knew Thomas had kept something secret, not only from him, but from everyone.  

“What
’s happened, James?” Thomas managed to get out as he lit up a smoke.

“That
’s what I’d like to know, Thomas, why don’t you tell me?” James waited until Thomas dismounted to continue. “I found your wife near hysterics when I arrived. She accidently found the bill to her wedding dress. Right or wrong, she opened it out of curiosity only to discover it wasn’t a bill, it was a note from Mary, which she allowed me to read.”    

James
was aware Thomas couldn’t even look at him and he had paled considerably. He looked towards the barn with a look of disbelief upon his face. After several moments James saw the tears form in his friend’s eyes. He felt some remorse for his harsh words for whatever Thomas knew about the note; it had caused an obvious reaction which not only made Thomas sad but emotional.

“Th
omas, why does Mary feel the need to forgive you? Does this note have something to do with what’s been troubling you for so many months? Please explain so I can understand. I’d thought you knew there’s nothing in this world that could change our friendship. What could have happened that’s so awful you couldn’t confide in me or even Anna?

“A
s far as Anna’s concerned, you should have no secrets from her, for any reason. She’s your wife.”

Thomas swallowed and felt the dryness of his mouth. He prayed he could find the right words.
He had finished his smoke and lit up another one. “I treasure your friendship, James. And I love and trust Anna completely. However, I’d been held by a promise I made to Mary. But deep down, I knew the day would come when I’d have to break that promise, and now I’ll have more regrets to shoulder.”

              He wiped his brow with his sleeve. “I think I’m relieved this has finally come to light. Why I never destroyed the note, I can’t answer, maybe because it was my last link to Mary or maybe I wanted the truth to come out at some point. Once I share my secret, then maybe I’ll find some peace. But in doing so, I fear you’ll know my pain all too well.

“
At least I’ll no longer have to pretend how happy I am. James, Mary put me in a position that I was damned if I did the right thing and damned if I failed to keep my promise to her. I’m not sure how to begin to tell you what’s happened to destroy so much and cause so much hurt to those I love.”

“Whatever it is, Thomas, I need to know
the truth, and so does Anna. I want you to share this burden so I can help you through this. It’s bothered me for some time that you’ve been troubled by something and couldn’t or wouldn’t share it with me.”

Thomas took a deep breath and nodded.
“Yes, I’ve carried this sorrow from the day we arrived in London with Anna and Susannah.” Thomas blinked back his tears.

“
As you know, I wanted to see father to find out where Mary went. I told you, James, he wasn’t anywhere to be found. But there was something I hadn’t told. I discovered Mary was living at home. She wasn’t in the cottage, but her things were there, along with a used tea cup. We both know father wouldn’t drink a cup of tea if his life depended on it.”

“Why was she there, what had happened?”
James demanded, more out of curiosity as to what had happened to her marriage.

“
Not what you think. James, but I couldn’t wait to give her a piece of my mind. I was sure I would find her working for Miss Minnie, since I felt certain her marriage had not worked out.

“She was there
, working in the back room when I found her. I told her what I thought and left nothing out after months of being angry and hurt for what she’d done to you. It was the perfect scolding, or so I thought.”

“Thomas, what
happened between Mary and her husband? Who had she married? I guess I’m curious to find out --- even after all this time. And what did she mean about forgiving you?” James wanted these answers to help his bruised pride; he was curious who could have captured her heart when he had so freely given his.

“That
answer, James, is what’s been haunting me for months. You see, Mary hadn’t married. She never left or forgot her promise to you. Father’s letter was a lie. And so, she’d come to
The Emerald
the morning we arrived, very excited to finally be reunited with you and to get her ring. She’d spent almost every Sunday since we had left, working on her wedding gown.

“
When she first spotted me, she said she was thrilled and overwhelmed I’d come back to see her wed, even after I swore I wouldn’t. She had called out to both of us but we never heard her. When she finally got close enough to get your attention, it was then she saw you with Susannah.

S
he knew at that moment, seeing you with the lady carrying a child, you’d already married. Everything she’d ever hoped for was lost. It nearly destroyed her, James, for she knew you had left her for another.”

James said nothing. He couldn’t. He was trying not to believe what
Thomas was saying. His heart ached as he closed his eyes and pictured Mary seeing him with Susannah.

He
couldn’t imagine a worst thing happening to anyone, finding out the man you loved and sworn your allegiance to, had married another, after you’d spent an entire year waiting for his return.

J
ames was positive he’d broken Mary’s heart. He’d loved her so much and then hated her to the core when he received Henry’s letter. Until, he thought, he found himself able to show forgiveness, when he fell in love with Susannah. But, now, to learn Mary had never betrayed him, gave him the worst feeling inside he’d ever experienced.

“
Don’t hate me, James. Mary made me promise not to tell. She knew you’d never change your situation, you couldn’t. She also knew you wouldn’t have married another unless you had fallen in love, again.

“
She said if you ever learned the truth, you’d only feel pity for her. Mary had been loyal all along and I’ve been ashamed of my actions ever since I confronted her. I hurt her as badly as you, maybe even worse, with the words I said that day.

“
She told me she’d have never doubted me if the shoe had been on the other foot. The look on her face, as she shared her heartbreak, well James, it’s something I haven’t been able to put out of my mind. I’d spent my entire life trying to protect Mary from any kind of injustice and now I know I’m equally to blame for her sorrow.”

              “Aye, we both are. If only I’d remained loyal. I should have known your father would do anything to break us up. And now I love Susannah. If only I’d known the truth while we were in London. I could have explained to Mary how this came about. I would have tried to ease her pain.”

“It would have only hurt her more, James, to hear you explain how you now loved another. Not after she had such high expectations.”

“I hate your father, Thomas. I shall hate him until the day I die. And Mary, no wonder she hates me, and rightfully so. To think she had to find out the way she did. Have you heard from her?”

“No, I don’t expect to hear from Mary for a
t least a year, if then. I pray she’s safe. James, I’ve never felt so ashamed.”

“I
know her sorry will haunt me, too, Thomas. We
must tell Anna and Susannah
what happened in London. I’ll share with Susannah how I betrayed Mary and why. Susanna and Anna will certainly understand the pain your father has caused all of us and the suffering Mary has been enduring, not only because of him, but our stupidity. They’ll hopefully understand how we managed to be complete fools and why we feel ashamed.

“
I know Susannah will have no doubts regarding my love for her. As much as I’d loved Mary at one time, I now love Susannah more.

“
Say goodbye to Anna for me. I pray Mary will forgive me, someday. I’m not sure she should. I wish you would have shared this with me in London, but I understand why you didn’t. But had I known the truth, I would have begged Mary for forgiveness; I’m as much a fool as you.

“
We’ll have to live by our choices, as will Mary. It sickens me to know how badly I crushed her spirit.” James thought about Mary now being alone with that evil man they call a father. Alone, James thought.  How many times had they said it would be the three of them, forever? James knew he couldn’t change the past but that didn’t make him feel any better. No wonder Thomas had spent the last few months struggling with his feelings.

J
ames realized there was a slim chance the day might come when he would have to face Mary. At some point she might forgive Thomas and visit him and Anna in the future. In one way, James wanted to see her again, to tell her how terrible he felt about what had happened, but in another way, he hoped he’d never have to face Mary and see the pain she carried within.

He knew she
would put a big smile on her face and say everything was fine, but in her eyes he would see the sadness, knowing Mary as he did, he knew she would probably never get over the love she held for him.

Chapter
Twenty-Nine

Parker Plantation

Thomas and Anna were anxious to speak with James and Susannah now that
the truth about Mary was in the open. After sharing dinner together and Andrew was put to sleep for the night, the men excused themselves to the den while Anna and Susannah went to the parlor for some tea and time alone.

“
Susannah, I didn’t think we’d ever get the men to the den.” Anna whispered. She very much wanted to know Susannah’s reaction regarding Mary.

“Can you believe we actually met
Mary? Of course, she had used her middle name of Hope, but even with that knowledge, we had no idea she worked at Miss Minnie’s Dress Emporium. What a brave front she’d put on. I’m quite sure I never could have been civil to the woman, or the woman’s sister, who married the man I loved!

“
It must have been agonizing for her and all the while she allowed me to try on the dress that she had made for her wedding to James. She was quite lovely, too. Now, I look back and realize it was no wonder she had shed those tears when I tried the dress on!”

"
I agree, Anna. I, too, felt only sympathy when James told me what had happened. I openly cried for her as I put myself in her place. I knew exactly how devastated I would have been witnessing what she saw at the docks. I’m fairly certain I wouldn’t have had the ability to control my temper as she did. I would have wanted to confront James the minute I had seen him with another woman. In fact, I probably would have wanted to shoot him!”

“
When I mentioned what I’d have done to James, he smiled and nodded. In fact, he said he was certain I’d have made such a scene in London; they’d probably still be talking about it today!

“But he explained that was
n’t Mary’s nature. She was never as hot headed as I am. Of course, he said those words lovingly! He said she was kind and spirited, but never one to put anyone in a compromising position, if she could help it. He said she behaved exactly as he would have predicted under the circumstances, partly, because the English pride themselves on being proper.

“
James made sure I knew how much he loved me, though. I never doubted his love, Anna. But I know James well enough to know he regretted his hasty judgment regarding Mary. I feel he spoke the truth when he made the statement that you can’t change history. What happened was something to learn from and to regret but not to dwell on. In the future, he said he will never rush to hasty judgments again.”

“
Oh Susannah, even having this in the open, Thomas still feels very guilty. He just won’t forgive himself. I don’t think he can until Mary has forgiven him. I thought she might have written him by now, since he says she is so kind hearted, but so far we have heard nothing,” Anna said misty eyed.

“
Yet, as hurt as she was by both of them, I understand it may take her a very long time to accept what happened, if she ever does. It must be awful having to live a life that was shattered by those she held so dear,” Susannah added.

“
Was Thomas upset you opened the bill that let the cat out of the bag?” Susannah asked wondering if Anna wasn’t feeling some guilt of her own.

“He told me right away he wasn’t upset about me snooping.
He said it was understandable since he knew I’d be curious about what the dress cost. He said it was for the best everything was out in the open, for he knew it had to come out sometime. Now he can discuss his feelings about Mary openly.”

“
Anna, I think we should change the subject in case they come to join us. I know they’re aware we’re talking about this, but I’d rather they not think it’s been an issue we can’t come to terms with,” Susannah said quietly.

Anna nodded. “Tell me, has James heard anything from Luther or Jacob?”

“Not a word. But I don’t think he’s expecting to hear anything until spring. He says that neither of them are letter writers. But if they do hear, it’ll probably be from Jacob. Only because he knows if their mother doesn’t get some type of information on them in six months, she’d probably arrange to have someone go and locate them, so she can know they’re safe.”

Anna laughed. She was trying to picture how Jacob would respond to some man stating he was sent by his mother to see how they fared. Although she wouldn’t put it past Annabelle Parker to do just that!

*****

Once James had closed the door to the den Thomas was the first to speak, “How did Susannah handle the news about Mary?” Thomas didn’t want any more problems to arise with Mary put in the middle.

“Susannah was great about everything, Thomas. I knew she
’d accept the news with understanding. She cried, but not for herself. She cried for Mary. She said she couldn’t have done what Mary had allowing Anna to wear the wedding dress.

“But
I told her if she’d known Mary, she wouldn’t have been surprised by her actions and generosity. Mary would always think of someone else, first. I can’t believe I’d been such a fortunate man who had had the privilege of finding two wonderful women in my lifetime to love. It’s a shame I had to hurt one in the process only because I wasn’t loyal enough to believe in her. I will always regret my stupidity, Thomas, and the heartbreak I caused Mary.”

“As will I, James. It
’ll be much easier for me now, though, since I don’t have to hide my feelings about Mary. You know all my secrets, now.

“
I swear, I think of Mary at the most unusual times. I never know what triggers my memories. It seems even worse when I reflect upon my mother. I know how disappointed she would have been if she were alive to have witnessed this ordeal. That, I think, hurts me the most. Knowing how disappointed my mother would have been with my actions and words to Mary.”

“You mustn’t think like that, Thomas. Your mother would have forgiven you a long time ago.
Now you must learn to forgive yourself.”

“Anna tells me the same thing. I
just wish I could.”