Tangled Betrayals (7 page)

“Mary, did you
really think father would keep your secret? I’m sure he took great pleasure when he wrote to James immediately after you eloped. Do you not know what delight he had in telling James you’d run off with another? Are you so stupid to think you could get away with such an evil deed and now pretend nothing ever happened? I was at the cottage, Mary, I know you’re living back home. Your marriage couldn’t have lasted too long for you to finish a wedding dress.

“
James is not a fool, Mary, and neither am I! He would have found out you weren’t a virgin! Then what were you going to do?  He would never have forgiven you. You deserve no sympathy!”

“Evil deed?
You think I did an evil deed? How dare you insinuate I’m not a virgin! You’re trying to tell me this is over some letter father supposedly wrote. What English Nobleman could ever compare to James? How exactly, would I’ve had the opportunity to meet someone with a title? If I did, why would he consider a seamstress a fit wife? You’re an idiot! You’re speaking nonsense!”

But
Mary had a sinking feeling her father indeed sent such a letter to James. That was the only thing which made sense. James had foolishly believed whatever lies were in that letter. Why would James have doubted her knowing how much her father was opposed to their wedding? But the fact was, he had, and Thomas believed those lies, too. What fools! What stupid fools!

To her horror,
Mary now realized what had happened, how it happened and why it happened. But knowing the truth didn’t ease her pain or mend her broken heart. She could never love another, not after falling in love with someone as wonderful as James. And those two twits believed her father instead of trusting her. The one person, who Thomas should have known, would never intentionally hurt anyone, not now, not ever.

To make things worse and add t
o her bitter disappointment, she realized it hadn’t taken James long to find another to take her place. He couldn’t have had the deep love for her she had held for him. How could he have doubted her? Was she the only person who had the ability to stand on honor?

Chapter
Eleven

As Thomas watched Mary mulling over the situation
, he was trying to come to terms with what she’d told him. He didn’t want to believe she had stated the truth. But what if she had? Mary would now be left to suffer, and suffer greatly for the remainder of her life, alone.

Thomas knew his father
had been angry for him leaving England, but could he really do such a horrific deed to Mary? Thomas forced himself to take a close look at her. He saw the pain etched on her face, her trembling body, and her defeated spirit. She was barely holding herself together. He had never seen her distraught like this.

He now knew what Mary had told him was true. My God, what had he and James done?

“Mary, I’m not sure what to say. I beg you to forgive us. I see the truth now for what it is. You have to understand, we never thought to doubt father’s letter. I knew he could be cantankerous, but to lie about such a thing, even for him, is hard to believe.” Thomas said as he started to reach out to Mary but her glare told him to stand back.

After a minute
or two had passed Mary knew she had to end this conversation. She was too exhausted both physically and mentally to go on. “Well, you’re going to have to accept it for what it is, Thomas. But let me tell you something. I’ve thought about James for the last year and few days. I cannot fathom how you or James could have been so ready to believe I could have loved another! You both doubted me when I have never given either of you a reason to.

“
You’ve known me far better than anyone, Thomas. You’ve hurt me deeply! Not to mention the hurt James has done! Knowing he replaced me, without giving me a chance to explain, and that he could stop loving me so quickly hurts the worst. I can’t accept the fact he ever loved me as I loved him. I had foolishly believed his every word. And the emerald rings he promised me are probably on the hand of his new wife, are they not?”

Thomas looked down at the floor. He couldn’t bring himself to look at Mary’s face.
“Aye, Mary. But he’d loved you deeply, Mary, at one time. I need to tell you how he’d gotten very drunk the day he received the letter from father and stayed that way until I came upon him several days later. The letter nearly destroyed him, Mary.

“
We both believed what father wrote, for which I’m so sorry. We’ve wronged you in the worst possible way. Please forgive me. I beg you. When James finds out what’s taken place, he’ll be livid with father and himself. He’ll feel terrible, Mary. You know he will.”

Mary shook her head
in anger. “Do you think for one minute I care what that bastard thinks or feels? Well, I don’t, Thomas! But you must promise me James will not find out the truth. I never want him to know I came to the ship this day. What good could come of him knowing the truth now? He would only pity me for the remainder of his life, Thomas, and I couldn’t bear it! Not from James------nor from you.

“
There’s nothing more that can be done other than me dealing with father when he eventually returns home. I’ll learn to live with this pain in my heart. I can’t believe our own father could hurt me so badly. He’s betrayed me, you’ve betrayed me and most of all James has betrayed me. What have I left, Thomas? Only Minnie has stood by my side and has total trust and faith in me.

“
Please leave, I’m very angry and hurt. There’s nothing you can say or do to change my feelings toward all three of you stupid, stupid, men. I don’t know how to answer you about forgiveness. I don’t have it in me right now to do so. Maybe in time I’ll feel differently.

“
I’m angry, bitter, and ashamed of myself for ever being so naïve as to believe I could have found such happiness only to have my dream stolen by those who had no faith in my promises. No faith in me. When I give my word, Thomas, I don’t break it, unlike you or James. Go now. Get Out!”

“Mary, I want to make things right.”

“Make things right? Thomas, go! Haven’t you already done enough? If you truly wanted to have made things right, you should have written to me and asked if there was any truth to the letter written to James! You and James could have waited till the year was up to find the truth for yourselves! If only you had some faith in me.”

Thinking on what she
’d said and now knowing in her heart the truth about everything, Mary reluctantly continued in a somewhat kinder voice, “Yet, I realize all those letters I wrote to James and you were never received, were they? Father had seen to that. And he would have never given me any letters from you or James even if one had been written. None of that matters now.

“
If there’d been letters between us, this conversation would not be taking place. Father got exactly what he wanted and he is the only one who did. Although, I think you and James seem quite happy and content with your lives, wouldn’t you agree?” But Mary continued before Thomas had a chance to say anything further.

“
But I swear father’s pompous attitude will be changing once I see him. I shall inform him in no uncertain terms how I, too, plan to move to America, once I save enough money. I must get far away from him, for I shall never forgive him for what’s been done. If America is as big a country as you claim, I can live there without the worry of ever running into you or James again. Maybe someday, Thomas, a very long time from now, we might make amends. I don’t know. Right now, I need to be alone. I’m not in the mood to feel forgiving towards anyone today.

“
So this is goodbye, Thomas. Promise me you’ll never tell James what happened. Not now, or ever. I think one destroyed life is enough. I don’t want James to pity me. I would much rather he hated me for what he thought I did, than to feel sorry for me for what I’m now left to endure. You owe me this, Thomas. You owe me!

“
I know James well enough to know he’d try to make up for the situation. But there is nothing he could say or do to help me. Now leave, Thomas, and I pray you have a very happy life, one I shall envy, one filled with someone to love and share your life with.”

Chapter
Twelve

London

As T
homas turned to leave he saw Minnie in the doorway. She said nothing as he passed but she didn’t need to. The sadness on her face combined with her tears assured him he acted like an ass. He knew she loved Mary as much as he did. He was relieved she remained silent. Although, he might have felt better had she given him the tongue lashing he deserved. Anything she might call him would have been no worse than what he had been calling himself.

The only solace
Thomas had was to know Mary had Minnie to help her through this. But what good would that do? Mary would still be left alone. Thomas knew Minnie would forgive him far sooner than Mary. Who could blame Mary for hating him and James? Certainly not him.

Thomas could not remember a time when he felt so low. How could he have doubted Mary?
Yet, he knew how, because he foolishly believed his father. Why would any parent do that to their child?

Thomas
started to panic knowing he would have to push down his feelings deep within him once he returned to the hotel. He needed to appear happy tonight when he met James, Susannah and Anna for dinner. He wasn’t certain how well he could pretend everything was fine. Anna knew him too well. So did James.

Could he really pull this off
? Making the others think he was happy while he knew they thought the worst of Mary? He understood what Mary was asking. He would never want anyone to pity him, for any reason. He was in an awful position. Yet, Mary had been hurt enough. He thought maybe she was right, maybe he should allow everyone to believe the worst, at least for now. What a dilemma to be in, damned if he told the truth and damned if he didn’t.

Would
Mary ever be the fun-loving, kind and sweet spirited person she’d been before any of this took place? He feared and knew in his heart that this would change Mary. He hoped she could rise above the pain and hurt. Mary would now think twice before trusting any man----especially now, when she knew she’d never have her fairy tale ending.

Poor,
poor, Mary, Thomas thought. There was nothing he could do to help her get through her suffering. As much as he hated his father for the letter he sent to James, he hated himself for ever doubting Mary. He should have known Mary wouldn’t have gone back on her word. She had never been a shallow person. Why, had he ever doubted her? Why had he been so ready to believe the worst?

Because he
had been blinded by his loyalty to James. By seeing his closest friend nearly destroyed he hadn’t stopped to think that he and James should have gotten proof of what his father had written. Now, the letter has changed the lives of so many.

Fools!
He and James were indeed fools! Thomas only hoped his father would return home in time for him to teach him a lesson about honesty and integrity. A lesson long overdue! Yet, knowing his father as he did, he knew this coward of a man would find a way to keep out of sight until after their ship set sail to America.

Chapter
Thirteen

Once
Thomas returned to the hotel and freshened up he realized it was time to meet James, Susannah and Anna in the lobby. He put on the best happy face he could muster and entered the lobby with a quick prayer he could pull this act off without being caught. He was surprised to see everyone was waiting for his arrival.

“Somehow
, I didn’t think I would be the last to arrive,” Thomas said pleasantly re-checking his watch and trying not to fidget. “James, is the time on my watch correct? I believe if it is, this would be a first that the ladies have been on time since we’ve known them, wouldn’t you agree?”

James smiled broadly. “I
do believe you’re correct, Thomas, you see, these lovely ladies can’t wait to enter the dining room and see what the ladies of London might be wearing. It would have been nice to think they were ready on time so you and I would be pleased with their presence and punctuality, but no, I’m afraid it was only out of their curiosity of what the English wear that led them to be ready on time.”

“Why, Ja
mes, that’s simply not true. When have Anna and I ever been late? You make it sound as if we are always keeping you and Thomas waiting. You can’t truly believe we’re only on time tonight because we‘re being nosy about how the other side of the world dress!”

“Susannah, the question you need to ask
yourself is this, when have you or Anna been on time for anything? And yes, I do believe you are both being nosy, but I understand the need to size up the competition. But you two lovely ladies will have no competition as far as Thomas and I are concerned. You’ll be the most beautiful women in the dining room. Now, since we’re all present and we’ve cleared up this matter as well as possible, why don’t we see about our reservations? I, for one, am starving!”

“Me too,” Thomas piped in
anxious to get seated and dinner over with.

“Honestly, you two act like we
want to garnish attention when we enter the dining room,” Susannah said pretending to pout.

“Ah, love, I believe that
’s a correct assumption. Besides, you couldn’t help but be noticed as you enter on the arms of two very handsome gentlemen!”

That being said,
Thomas was quite amused when Susannah and Anna rolled their eyes and latched onto their arms with not another word spoken. Now, if only he can stay focused on looking happy and getting through this evening, Thomas thought.

The dinner
was excellent and Anna and Susannah enjoyed the English lamb and potato dish they’d ordered. Thomas and James had equally enjoyed their steaks with potatoes with extra gravy. They all decided on mince pie for dessert.

Thomas
was relieved that no one questioned him during dinner regarding his father or Mary. He knew very shortly the subject would be brought up and Anna didn’t disappoint him once they sat in the lobby to chat before retiring for the evening.

“Thomas, how did today go? You seemed
to be in such a good mood I tend to think things must have went far better than you had expected.”

Thomas
watched the faces of Anna, James and Susannah and knew they were very interested in his answer.

“
I found out my father is conveniently out of town. Once I was over the disappointment of not being able to confront him, I decided after much thought, that maybe things that had happened in the past are best left alone. Time will heal the hurt caused by people’s actions, whether the actions were right or wrong. For the time being, I think it would be best if we dropped this subject.”

Thomas felt
as good as one could about his answer. He didn’t lie, however, he didn’t tell the truth. He was glad that no one questioned him any further on his remarks. He was aware how sympathetic they were regarding his situation with Mary so he took advantage of their thoughtfulness.

Thomas was grateful when
James changed the subject and talked about how busy he and Thomas were going to be for the next few days.

“
Susannah, where are you and Anna planning on shopping tomorrow? I’m hoping Thomas and I return early enough from the docks to have dinner with you before eight.” James inquired. He wanted to make sure they would stay close to the hotel.

“I
’m not sure. I’ve heard there are a few shops close at hand. The most important thing is to find Anna her wedding dress. I might look for something, too. Something I can wear after the baby’s born. Maybe a few ball gowns, depending how expensive they might be.”

“Why am
I not surprised? Susannah, the truth is you’d want to purchase a ball gown for the mere pleasure of saying you purchased your gown in London, if not several of them!” James said teasingly. “Your only problem will be not having the ability to try them on in your condition.”

Thomas noticed Susannah
gave no verbal reply but smiled and nodded to her husband as she rubbed her stomach.

“Anna,
when you’ve found your wedding dress, please request the shop to send the bill directly to me, at the hotel. I’m sure they can also have the dress delivered here. I imagine you will also pick up a ball gown or two?” Thomas didn’t need for her to reply, for everyone knew that was a sure thing.

“
Once Friday morning arrives, we can say our vows and be ready to set sail as, Mr. and Mrs. Ball.” Thomas said smiling intently at his betrothed. “Please pick out whatever you want, Anna, the cost is not an issue. I don’t know about the rest of you, but I’m quite tired after our trip from America and my activities today, I think I shall head to bed, I could use a good night’s rest for we have much to accomplish before Friday.”

Thomas
was hoping to end any further conversations. He was indeed exhausted and he wasn’t sure how much longer he could continue with his act of being happy.

He was relieved when everyone agreed to call it a night
. He was also glad he and James were going to be busy the next day. He prayed James would not ask him any questions about his father or Mary any time soon, if ever. Time would only tell.

Thomas was
very grateful Miss Minnie’s Dress Emporium was several blocks away. He doubted there would be any chance of Susannah and Anna walking that many blocks from the hotel with Susannah so easily getting tired due to her condition. At least Mary should not have to deal with any further drama for the remainder of their stay in London.

Thomas undressed and practically fell into bed. But no matter how hard he tried
, his mind kept drifting back to Mary and the hurt she was bearing because of his and James’s stupidity. He could still see the pain in her eyes and the defeat etched on her face. Mary’s pain haunted him. She didn’t deserve this brutal torment.

In his heart he knew
full well if the shoe was on the other foot, Mary would have defended him till hell froze over, if anyone had said anything against him or James. She would have never wavered in her loyalty.

He
’d let her down and she had every right to despise him. He hated the thought of never seeing Mary again. For the first time since he lost his mother, Thomas cried himself to sleep, feeling depressed and ashamed of his words and actions this day.