Tangled Dreams (2 page)

Opening the door to my room and walking in I gasped. I could never believe I would have a room this big, even if it is for a short amount of time.

“Do you like it?”

“Are you kidding me? I love it.” It had a beautiful canopy bed in the middle of the room. The walls were painted a light powder blue. There was a gorgeous vanity on one wall. The opposite, a dresser and next to it was a huge picture window looking out at the fields and the barn.

“This is your closet right here.” She said pointing to the double doors.

“I don’t have enough to fill up one dresser let alone a closet.”

“Oh, honey. Is that one suitcase all you brought?”

“Yes ma’am.”

“Call me Julia. We are going to have to fix that. You can’t live with that few of clothes. We’ll go into town this weekend and pick you some things up.”

“You don’t have to got to that much trouble. I won’t be here that long anyway.”

And then there was that uncomfortable shifting from one leg to the other again. I wonder why her and William keep doing that when I mention not staying. Something was just not right but, I decided to shrug it off to nerves.

“Oh. Well we are girls and we can never have to many clothes.” She said smiling.

“Well, alright. Thank you. Is that door over there another closet?”

“No, that door goes to Gavin’s room. Don’t worry though, he won’t bother you. He pretty much sticks to himself. Now why don’t you get settled in. There is still a couple of hours until supper.”

“Thank you so much. I might lay down for a while. We were on the bus all night last night and I didn’t sleep a wink.”

“Oh honey, by all means lay down then. You must be exhausted. I assure you that bed is really comfortable.” She said turning to leave.

After she walked out I sat down completely exhausted on the bed and realized she wasn’t lying. This has to be the most comfortable bed I’ve ever been on. I’ll just lay down and close my eyes for a couple of minutes. No longer able to fight the drowsiness I drifted off quickly.

When I woke up again, I panicked to realize that I shut my eyes for more than a couple of minutes. The room was completely dark now except for the glow of the clock. Squinting at that tiny light and rubbing my eyes it read nine o’clock. Panicking I realized I said I would help Julia with supper. Now knowing I missed it and that is going to make me look really lazy and ungrateful. Without realizing it, tears were streaming down my face everything hitting me all at one time. Everything is moving to fast. I don’t have anyone anymore. What am I doing here? I don’t belong here. Trying not to panic.

The knock on my door jerked me out of my thoughts. A tall guy about six-foot three walked in with black hair that was just long enough to catch a glimpse of it out of the back of his ball cap. He had dark eyes and a very deep tan, and looked very muscular and sort of an edgier side. Realizing just then that he was who everyone was talking about when a girl said they wanted a guy who was tall, dark, and handsome. He had blue jeans and a black t-shirt, and no shoes on. He looked totally comfortable but, one of those guys that seemed unapproachable all at the same time.

“Hey, I’m Gavin. Mom wanted me to bring you up some food.” Noting just how very appealing that voice was. Then feeling like a fool I brushed the tears away from my cheek not wanting the first time I met him to be with me bawling like a baby.

“Hi, I’m Madison.”

“I know. You okay?” He asked me with an annoyed, confused look on his face.

“Yeah. I’m fine.”

“Well, I’ll just set this down right here. Just knock on my door when you are done and I’ll take it down for you.”

“Thanks, but you don’t have to do that.”

“Yes. I do. I’m ordered to. Anyways, just let me know. Alright?”

“Okay.” Then he walked out grouchy, slamming the door. I don’t think he is going to wheel out the welcome wagon for me any time soon. If ever. I guess everyone can’t like you. Although he doesn’t even know me. Getting up I didn’t realize just how hungry I was until I smelled the aroma and it was absolutely delicious, easily the best meal I’ve had in months. Which made me feel even worse for not helping with it.

Walking into his bedroom Gavin slammed his door shut behind him. The thump of the door shaking his bookshelf. “Why the hell do I have to be her damn maid to?” He grumbled as he kicked the side of the dresser. God I hate this place. I hate everyone and everything. I hate working my tail off for nothing. Why the hell do I have to put up with this shit when all my friends are out having a good time? Thinking bitterly to himself. Sitting down in his chair and swinging it around to look at the wall where she sat in her room. She is kinda cute he thought begrudgingly. I guess there could be worse things to do than looking at her. He just came up from a very long lecture from his parents how he needs to look after Madison. That she has been through a lot and has nobody and no friends. Well, a long lecture mostly from mom. Well, what the hell is that my problem? He asked himself. Like I want to do anything for my parents after they betrayed me the way they did. Well, they can just kiss my ass he thought, as he slammed his fist down on his desk.

In the room next to him, Madison was wondering what all the commotion was about. Deciding not to go over quite yet. Not going to the bathroom since I arrived the need was getting rather urgent. Plus, cleaning up and taking a shower wouldn’t be such a bad thing to do. Just realizing I hadn’t taken one in quite a while. I grabbed a fresh pair of blue jeans and a thin strapped shirt, and headed down the stairs to the second floor bathroom. Now laying on his bed Gavin heard the door to her room shut and heard her go down the stairs. Whatever he thought. She can do whatever the hell she wants.

Realizing that I had only seen the kitchen, downstairs I had to fight the urge to want to go down to explore. Walking into the bathroom I found the light and was stunned to look at the reflection in the mirror. I didn’t even look like myself.  Leaning in closer to the mirror, my eyes were completely bloodshot from crying. My hair is a tangled mess. My clothes are dirty, and I most likely stink. No wonder Gavin didn’t want to get within ten feet of me. Hearing a commotion coming from the room next door I realized it was uncle William and aunt Julia shouting.

“Well, what do you want me to do William? Gavin now knows he is adopted.”

“I told you Julia that we should have told him by now.”

“You think I wanted him to find out this way? I just wanted him to be happy. He is ours. Even if I didn’t give birth to him. He his still our son.

Taking a step back I looked at the wall like I could see through it. I felt bad for hearing such a private conversation. Gavin adopted? Shocked to the core by this. Maybe that is why he is so cold to me? I’m not his family at all. Maybe I misjudged him. After all it’s obvious that he just found out this news. Anyone would feel a sense of betrayal. I could hear aunt Julia releasing her tears into sobs.

“William do you think he’ll ever forgive us for not telling him the truth?”

“He’s just acting out Julia. He’s hurt and he’s mad. He’ll bounce back. He’s a strong boy.”

My conscience couldn’t let me hear anymore so I flipped on the shower. Stepping out of my filthy clothes felt great, catching a glimpse of myself in the mirror. Sometimes hating to look at myself because I see my mother in the mirror. I remember going to mother with my complaints of being well endowed and she would tell me to shut up and I’d appreciate it later. Well, being older now I guess I understand it a little more. Still makes you feel uncomfortable when boys stare at you nonetheless. However, mother told me to get used to it that I was beautiful just like her. She never did have any problems with her self-image. She is beautiful but I have a long ways to go before I match her beauty.

With a sigh, stepping under the hot water felt great, and it washed all my worries away for that short time. I could have stood in here for hours underneath the hot spray but, forced myself to get out. After giving Gavin some attitude I decided I probably should cut him some slack. After all, he might feel just as lonely, and lost as I do. Brushing my hair until it was pretty much dry I climbed the stairs back up into my room grabbing the tray. Knocking on the door to Gavin’s room, I knew I was going to ignore that adjoining door. Hearing nothing for a while, I finally hear a bang and some cursing along with it before the door swung open wildly.

“Yeah? What do you want?”

“I um have my tray like you wanted.”

He kinda took a step back stunned at how beautiful she looked.

“Just throw it down on the desk. I’ll take it down later.” He snapped. Turning, he walked away and flopped back down on the bed to watch the movie he had going.

“I can take it down, if your busy.”

“Will you leave it alone. There will be plenty of time for you to suck up to mom and dad.” Just as soon as he said it, he regretted it. The hurt instantly flashing across her face, she took a step back, and out of his room quietly shutting the door.”

“Damn it Madison. Come back.”

If she heard him, she didn’t acknowledge him. Throwing his head in his hands he cursed himself for being an idiot. She was just trying to be nice, and I act like an ass. I don’t want to like her. I can’t like her. Everyone in my life has betrayed me. I just can’t be her friend. Not wanting to get close to anyone, just to have them screw him over. Trying to fight the pull he was feeling towards her. Thinking that maybe he should at least try to be her friend. Her father just recently dying is enough to make anyone feel alone. Not to mention she had no idea that her mother had no plans on coming back for her. I shouldn’t have known that either, but one of my endearing qualities is that I’m very quiet and over heard mom and dad talking. Or I should say arguing about it. Dad didn’t want her to stay, and mom did. It didn’t really surprise me. Dad didn’t really like outsiders. And to him she was an outsider. So, I’m stuck with her for a while, whether I like it or not. She isn’t that hard on the eyes on closer inspection. Noticing that she had an even more stunning face than initially thought. Deep green eyes that could make you forget all your worries. Not getting much of an opinion on her body with the baggy clothes he has seen her in so far. Swatting his thoughts away like flies he settled back in to watch the rest of his movie.

Walking back into my bedroom, I was infuriated. What gives him the right to treat me like that? I was just trying to be nice. Well, maybe I should reconsider cutting him some slack. If he wants to be a jerk, then fine. But, he’ll be doing it alone. Completely miffed I rummaged through my suitcase looking for my mothers old nightgown. It left little to the imagination, but it’s all I had. Thinking maybe I can pick up a new one. Finally, rolling into bed I grabbed my diary and put it safely on the nightstand before shutting my eyes for the night.

I woke up to my alarm going off, and immediately jumped up and got dressed. Running down the stairs Julia was the only one in the kitchen.

“Hi sweetie. I saved you some breakfast.”

“I slept late again? I thought for sure I would get up in time. I’m sorry.”

“It’s okay Madison. I could have woke you up but, you needed the sleep. You can help tomorrow. We get up at 5 in the morning, and the guys have to be out by 6 to do chores. The girls are also out doing chores. Everyone pulls their weight around here but you can start tomorrow. You need another day of rest.” She said with a smile.

“Alright. I promise tomorrow, I’ll be on time.”

“Now that’s a deal. Sit down and eat your breakfast I saved for you. Then you can go up and make your room feel more like your own. I can help you if you would like.”

“That won’t be necessary. I won’t be around long enough to fully enjoy it.”

“Um, okay sweetie. Well, maybe we can do a few things just for the time being.”

Not wanting to disappoint her, I agreed. Finishing my breakfast I went upstairs back to my room. I didn’t really have much to make it look, or feel, like my own room. I did put my makeup on top of the vanity and a few of my necklaces that daddy gave me as a little girl. Unpacking all of my clothes I put them in the dresser drawers and threw the suitcase in the closet. Needles to say it didn’t take very long. Just when I thought the silence would get the better of me, my room door flew open and Kayla and Kylie came running through it, into my arms. They were both dirty from head to toe, and adorable.

“We missed you last night Madison.”

“I’m sorry Kayla. I was so tired I fell asleep.”

“That’s okay. We can show you Emily tonight.”

“Emily?”

“Our pony.”

“Oh I would love that. Did you know that I have never petted a horse before?” Kylie and Kayla looking at each other in astonishment.

“Your kidding?”

“Nope. I’m happy that I finally get to though.” Putting an instant smile on their faces.

“Okay, mommy said to come down for lunch. We have to go wash up first. Then they went running out the door as fast as they ran in.

Descending down the stairs I could smell the aroma of some sort of casserole or meatloaf in the oven. In the kitchen Julia was getting everything prepared.

“Can I help you take the food to the dining room?”

“Well yes you may. Just right through that door.” Pointing to her left.

Walking in, William was already seated at the head of the table. Kylie and Kayla had already come down and was taking their seats. I however, did not see Gavin anywhere. Walking back into the kitchen I spotted aunt Julia.

“Aunt Julia where is Gavin?”

“Well, sometimes he doesn’t come in for lunch. He will stay out in the barn and work.”

I noticed she had tears in her eyes as she turned away. I knew why he really didn’t come in for lunch. He was obviously punishing his parents. Making me a little angry, you could see he was doing a good job of it. They loved him like a real son and that is just as precious. I never got that kind of love from my mother. But, on the other hand, I can’t put myself in his shoes and presume to know how he feels.

Lunch went fast enough. No one really said much of anything. Tomorrow is Saturday and it was explained to me after lunch that is was just another work day. Sunday however, was their day of rest. Julia did all of her cooking on Saturdays so she didn’t have to work either. Everyone pretty much fends for themselves. However, this Sunday she told me that she was taking me into town with the twins to pick up some new clothes. After all of that discussion the twins showed me the rest of the house and took me out to the barn. She was a beautiful horse and quite friendly. Gavin kept trudging by staring at us while he worked and I just chose to ignore him.

Hours went by and they showed me what chores they did, and it felt good to have the company. Afterwards, we finally went in for supper. It was a different meal, but the same procedure. We heard Gavin come in from the barn, but he went upstairs and never came back down. After supper, the twins went upstairs to their room to play with some dolls, and I helped Aunt Julia clear the table.

“Madison dear. Could you take a plate up to Gavin? He hasn’t eaten all day, and has to be hungry.”

“Julia are you alright?”

“Yes honey. Well I guess I should probably inform you of what is going on.”

“I’m sorry, but I already know. I over heard you and uncle William talking about it the other night when I came down for a shower.”

“Oh. I’m so sorry you were subjected to that dear.”

“It’s alright. I’m sorry you’re so upset.”

“Oh, Madison. You are such a special girl. Worrying about me when you’ve been through so much.” Giving me a light kiss on the forehead.

“Thank you Julia. I’ll take this up now.”

“Thank you honey.” She turned around to the sink and let out a big sigh of relief. I imagine it was because she did not have to explain the situation to me.

Going upstairs, I decided to just dump off his tray and get the heck out of there. He can spit his nastiness to someone else. I’m in no mood for it. I knocked on the door and impatiently walked in, tired of waiting.

“Gavin, I have your food. Oh, I’m sorry. I didn’t know. I thought….well, never mind.” I stumbled awkwardly, unable to form a sentence.

There he stood, with a pair of jeans on and nothing else. His chest was bare and still had water dripping down it from his wet hair. I definitely underestimated how built he really was. His muscles were well-defined, as well as his arms. His hair was all messed up and I realized for the first time that he had thick wavy hair.

“Madison chill. I just got out of the shower. It’s no big deal.”

I started to turn around embarrassed and absolutely mortified, when he grabbed me by the arm.

“Madison, it’s no big deal. Can I have my food before you go running out though?”

Looking down embarrassed, I realized that I was going to walk out without giving him his tray.

“I’m sorry Gavin. Yes you can have your food.” I tried to ignore the fact he was half-naked and the tingling sensation and butterflies in my stomach when he touched me. I pulled away quickly and put his tray on his desk. When I turned around, he was smiling clearly amused by my embarrassment. I realized that I had never seen him smile before, and unfortunately it made him even more attractive.

“What is it? Why are you smiling like that?”

“Anyone ever told you how pretty you are when your nervous?”

“No, and I don’t think it is very funny.” Really annoyed by this point.

“Ah, lighten up.”

“I will not lighten up. You have hardly said two words to me since I got here. And when you did, you have been very rude.” I was pleased to see that cocky smile wiped off of his face.

“I’m sorry Madison. I shouldn’t have acted that way, and it was wrong of me.” Shocked that he actually apologized I felt like I had little choice but to forgive him.

“Well alright. Whatever. It is over now. I’ll leave you to eat.” Walking towards the door I turned around to look at him again. “You know you should smile more, it suits you.” Then it was his turn to look nervous.

Walking back into my bedroom I was shaking. I have had boys touch me before casually enough but I had never felt like that before. It felt like and electric current flowing through my body. I have to get that out of my mind, sitting on my bed to get my bearings. I’m not even staying that long. I just need to get along with everyone and not get attached. Although, I was pretty sure it was too late for the twins. I really would miss them.

I had to of sat there at least an hour consumed in my thoughts. Thinking about how much I missed dad, how much my life has changed in a very short time since his passing. Looking at the clock it was barely eight-thirty and I was not tired at all. Making my mind up that I wanted to go outside to explore. Yearning to watch the sunset since I have arrived. Stopping briefly outside of Gavin’s door, I wondered what he was doing. Shaking my head I ran downstairs to get some fresh air. I need to get away by myself to think for a while.

Gavin was toying with the idea of getting up to see where she was going after hearing her bedroom door shut. His curiosity further peaked when he faintly heard the front door open and close. Looking out his window, she was walking in the direction of the barn. God, what is she doing? She doesn’t know her way around a farm. She obviously isn’t thinking about the snakes and the coyotes that inhabit the tall grass and woods out there. Looking towards the direction of the sunset he knew it was going to be dark before long. Flopping back down on the bed, he figured it was her own problem.

Walking through the tall pasture wasn’t an easy task, finally coming to a line of trees. Curious I stepped into the woods and started walking awhile watching the light through the trees throwing shadows everywhere. Coming onto a creek, I decided that this has to be the most beautiful place I had ever seen. Sitting beside the water I listened to the movement and it made me wonder if dad ever did the same thing when he was a kid. Losing myself in thought once more, I didn’t realize it was getting so dark.  Standing up and brushing myself off, I realized it was a whole lot darker than I realized. Looking around and forgetting what general direction I came from, I picked the direction I thought the house was in. After walking a couple of minutes, panic started bubbling up inside of my stomach, turning in a full circle confused.