Tangled Fates (29 page)

sleep, and the guilt and sadness that had torn him up. The beast was gone, and he needed to take

some baby steps and get back into the swing of things. That little thing called life was calling on

him to participate and come in from the sidelines. He could have been Talin—teetering on the

brink of life or death and deciding his own fate. He was so pissed and hurt that Talin didn’t want

to be saved, but he also understood, probably better than anyone, what he was going through.

Why he had given up on this shitty life. Being reunited with his
lovren
would be better than

spending his days holed up in his room, miserable and alone.

As he stood there, he thought about the dream.

The white haze around Mia had grown thicker, wrapping itself around her tighter.

“It seems that the oath is preventing her from resting in her final place peacefully,” Nico

had said.

“Mia, I want you to be at peace. Will this make it so? Do you release me? That is what

you want?”

“Let it go.”

“You need to let go of the guilt within you in order for it to be complete, Cohen,” Nico

said. “You need to realize that life is for the living, not holding on to the dead.”

Cohen had shut his eyes. How did one let go of guilt? The only way he could see that

happening was for Mia to say she forgave him. But wait a minute. If she was releasing him from

the
Tambaran
, that was a form of forgiveness, right?

He had looked at Mia, and images of their love played in his head. Their time in the

forest together as young children, playing in the high trees, their mating vows, their move to the

big city and the fear and uncertainty that went along with it. Their final joining before saying

goodbye, his violet smoky form mingling with her red-rose color.

Tears had stung his eyes. The memories were something he could take with him into the

future, but the guilt belonged right here. It would do nothing but eat at him, and Mia had

forgiven him. She had released him from his oath, so he could get rid of the guilt that kept it

around her. He could set her free so she could finally be at peace.

“Good-bye, Mia. I will never stop loving you, but I . . . I forgive myself for my

indiscretions. I wish you peace.”

The fog disappeared.

Mia began to fade, much in the same way she had arrived. Slowly she drifted backward

until there was nothing left but a pinpoint of her red-rose coloring, and then she was gone.

Cohen had dropped to his knees and sobbed. He knew he was alone; he couldn’t feel

another presence in the inky darkness. The cries tore through him, making his shoulders quake.

The guilt and sadness seemed to be ripping him up from the inside out, and his heart felt like a

stone in his chest.

After what seemed like hours, there was nothing left within him. He’d felt hollow, which

was both good and bad. Gone was the guilt and sadness that had plagued him for so long. It was

as if someone had taken his messy chalkboard and wiped it clean, and now it was up to him to

fill it with what he chose.

Cohen had opened his eyes to darkness. He made out the nightlight from the bathroom

and wondered what time it was. Turning to his clock, he saw that it was nine in the morning. He

didn’t hear Nico snoring, and he’d reached over and turned on the light. Nico’s cot was empty.

Cohen turned off the light and rolled over, noticing his pillow was damp from his tears.

He’d pulled the covers up over his head and let the exhaustion pull him back under to sleep.

And now, showered, shaved, and in clean clothes, he stood in front of Annis’s door, more

nervous than a virgin in a whorehouse.

Whatever he said next would be the first mark on the empty chalkboard that was his inner

soul now.

Breathing deeply, he raised his hand and knocked on the door. Color him surprised when

Blake answered.

They stared at each other a moment, and Cohen said, “Hey.”

“Hey, Cohen.”

Both were males of elegant words, and Cohen wondered what was going on here. It was

close to bedtime, and Blake was looking very much at home in Annis’s room. Did Blake and

Annis have something going on after all? He didn’t need to stick around to find out.

“I was . . . looking for Annis, but I can come back,” he said.

Blake looked him over from head to toe. “You look good cleaned up,” he said.

Cohen didn’t say anything, but he knew he’d been a hot mess for months. The comment

didn’t surprise him, nor did it offend him.

“I’ll just come back,” Cohen said, turning back toward the stairwell.

“You will not, you fucking douchebag,” Blake said, grabbing his arm and pulling him

into the room.

Cohen didn’t fight back as Blake pushed him up against the wall, but winced as his head

made contact with the concrete.

“You listen to me, Cohen,” Blake hissed, his arm pressed across Cohen’s upper chest.

“That woman has strong feelings for you, do you understand me?”

Cohen nodded. He knew that Annis cared for him, and had from the start. It was one

thing that had attracted him to her. She just wasn’t another pretty face and a warm body, but she

actually cared. It had been so long since he had been around someone who actually gave a shit

about him, and it had scared him.

“And if you hurt her, Cohen, I will kill you myself.”

Cohen met Blake’s hazel eyes. He saw that the male meant every word, and he respected

it and appreciated someone looking out for Annis. However, he also knew that Blake lacked size

and skill compared to Cohen, but whatever. Throw the dog a bone.

“Got it,” he said.

Blake backed up and straightened his T-shirt. “She’ll be back in a minute. And just to be

clear, I’m not messing around. Your shit better be on the straight and narrow. If it’s anything

less, I’m coming for you.”

Cohen watched Blake leave. He looked around Annis’s quarters. It was light and airy

done in creams and whites, and he liked it compared to the darker colors of his own digs.

He eyed the big bed that was made with matching sheets that he bet were clean. Despite

sleeping all day, he was still exhausted and wanted nothing more than to curl up with Annis and

sleep.

He noticed a stain on the wall by the TV, then the shards of glass on the floor. What had

given birth to this mess? What emotions caused it? And who had done it? Anger flared in him as

he thought of Blake and Annis fighting.

He heard the click of the door, then Annis said, “I’ve got the vacuum, Blake. I’m sorry

for my outburst.”

Moving across the room, he met her at the door and took the vacuum from her. She still

hadn’t met his eyes. “I don’t know what came over me. I just don’t—”

Her breath caught when she met his eyes. “Cohen,” she whispered.

As he looked into her golden gaze, he knew that everything in his world would be okay.

No longer would he be living in a black, inky world, but one filled with gold—if she would have

him, which he wasn’t sure about. If he were her, he’d kick himself to the curb with a steel-toed

boot.

“Hi.” He just had all sorts of smooth going on tonight.

“Hello.”

There were a couple beats of silence.

“Let me help you clean up,” he said.

She nodded.

Together they picked up the shards of glass that were large enough and placed them in

the trashcan. While Annis ran the vacuum, Cohen went into the bathroom and wet down a

washcloth and rubbed it on the wall. He had no idea if that was how you got a wine stain off

paint, but at least he was making an effort.

When all was said and done, they stared at each other.

“I’m not sure what to say, Cohen.”

Frankly, he didn’t either. He just knew he needed to be near her, and he let his words

drop from his tongue without giving them much thought. “Just . . . just let me sleep with you

tonight, Annis. I promise no funny business. I just need to be near you, to feel you. I need to be

close to someone who cares about me.”

After a moment, she smiled and placed her palm on his cheek. “I do care for you, Cohen.

I will always be here for you.”

They both looked at the clock, which read two minutes before midnight.

“I’m ready to sleep,” she said, “if you are. I’ll go change.”

Exhaustion made his shoulders slump and his soul feel heavy. He didn’t think he could

stay awake if he tried.

Chapter 50

Annis woke in the full throes of her nightmare and tried to sit up. Startled, when she

couldn’t get up, she began to thrash.

“Hey,” a deep, groggy voice said. She panicked for a second more until she realized that

Cohen was the reason she couldn’t get up, his heavy arm draped over her waist. “Are you okay,

Annis?”

She nodded, settled back down on the pillow, and relaxed against the wall of muscle at

her back. Loving the feeling of it, she curled into it more. After a moment her breathing calmed,

as did her panic.

“Did you have a nightmare?”

She nodded again and shut her eyes. Open or closed, she saw nothing at all.

“Do you want to talk about it?”

“No.”

She wanted to forget about it and enjoy the sensation of warmth, comfort, and belonging

that she felt in Cohen’s arms. He pulled her in closer and the remnants of her nightmare disappeared.

A minute later, Cohen’s breath was even against her ear as she thought of the previous

night’s happenings.

She had truly lost it with Blake. Yes, she loved Blake as a friend, but him telling her what

she could and could not do didn’t work. No one told her what to do, and no one ever had, except

her trainers in the military, but she appreciated their guidance and understood and accepted that it

was part of the culture.

Blake telling her what to do hadn’t gone over well.

When she had walked into the room and saw Cohen, to say she was shocked would have

been an understatement. She hadn’t known what to expect from him, and she had been pleasantly

surprised.

Whatever had happened had changed him, and he came to her without anger. She also

noticed that the scruff on his face was gone, and his clothes were clean. He had gone through

some type of transition.

However, whatever he had been through had left him raw. She felt like if she said too

much—or not enough for that matter—he would somehow fold up upon himself.

She had been ready for bed and decided that instead of going into whatever had changed

him, it would be best for them to sleep.

“Are you awake?” he asked groggily.

“Yes,” she whispered.

Cohen took her in his arms and maneuvered her so that her face rested against his chest.

Hesitantly, she put her arm around his waist and gently rubbed her cheek against the soft fabric

of his T-shirt, inhaling his smell of clean soap and a fresh breeze. If she never had to move again,

she would be happy.

“I don’t want to move all day,” Cohen said quietly.

Annis smiled. “I was thinking the same thing.”

“If you want to talk about your nightmare, I’m here to listen,” he said.

Annis heard the deep rumble in his chest. It was like every word sent a shockwave

through her, each landing in her core. Her temperature spiked. “Thank you, but no.” Her

nightmare was the last thing she wanted to talk about now.

“Okay.”

Cohen moved again, and Annis groaned as he disentangled himself from her. She could

feel him hovering above her, and felt his breath on her face when he spoke. Gently, he caressed

the side of her face and brushed back her hair.

“Mia released me,” he whispered.

She brought her hand up to his face, touched his jaw, and gently grazed his eyelid with

her finger. The pad of her thumb traced his lips as hope flared within her. “How do you feel

about that?”

He was quiet a moment, and she wished she could see him. “I feel relief, and I feel loss.

This is going to sound weird, but I feel like I’ve been scrubbed clean on the inside.”

Scrubbed clean on the inside. How interesting. What would it feel like to have her

feelings of loneliness erased? To have her need to belong met? To not have her past haunt her?

To be clean on the inside?

“Annis, you are the most beautiful female I’ve ever laid eyes on. And you know I admire

you greatly. You are so strong and you have an amazing heart. I-I don’t know where things

would go between us, but I want to find out.”

Annis smiled, and her heart soared. It was the first step, and that was all she could ask

for.

Cohen gently touched her face.

“I wish I could see you,” she whispered.

“You will. I have a feeling you’ll be seeing so much of me, you’ll be sick of me.”

Annis laughed. “I don’t know about that.”

Cohen chuckled. “If you do get sick of me, make sure you tell me.”

“I’ll be sure to do that,” she said. It was a tender moment, but Annis felt the shift, and her

body heated.

“I want to kiss you,” Cohen whispered. “Is that okay?”

Annis nodded.

His lips touched hers, firm, yet soft. She laced her arms around his neck and threaded her

fingers through his hair as his weight settled on top of her.

It was interesting being with a male and having no sight. The rest of her senses were

heightened, and a ripple of excitement coursed through her at not knowing where he was going

to touch her next.