Tangled Tides (The Sea Monster Memoirs) (26 page)

Treygan stood tall, speaking only to Caspian and Indrea. "We are going through with it."

Indrea leaned forward. "Jack and Rownan seem to think the two of you," she waved a finger at him and Yara, "are falling in love with each other."

Yara whipped her head around to look at me. "You have no right to discuss my personal life with anyone!"

Jack slammed his feet to the floor. "
You
haven't been part of this long enough to grasp how important you are to our world. We'll discuss you whenever we please, and we'll do whatever it takes to make sure you don't blow our one shot at opening the gate."

"Enough," Indrea interrupted. "Yara, you know what you have to do on the Triple Eighteen, and you are willing to do it, correct?"

Yara lowered her eyes.

"She won't do it," I said. "I know her better than any of you. I've seen how Treygan looks at her. He won't do his part, either."

Treygan bolted toward me, but Jack jumped up and stopped him. Treygan's gaze stayed locked on mine over Jack's shoulder. "You have no idea what I'm capable of," Treygan snarled through clenched teeth. "How dare you come here and question my loyalty!"

All we needed was to plant the seeds of doubt in the minds of the Violets. I had never seen Treygan look at any girl the way he looked at Yara. He wouldn't be able to lie about it. "So prove me wrong. Tell us you aren't falling in love with Yara. That you don't care the days are numbered until you have to forget she exists."

His skin looked like it was bruising right before our eyes. Shades of blue, gray and green swirled around his hallmarks. Sadness, anger and shame all surfacing for the Violets to see.

"Treygan," Caspian said firmly.

Scattered clouds of red deepened against Yara's golden skin. I hadn't known her as a mermaid long enough to know what it meant, but I assumed it was sadness.

Treygan faced Caspian and Indrea. "We will do whatever it takes to open the gate."

"Good," Jack said. "I'm sure Yara sees our plan is the logical one, now that she's a blood guzzler."

"What?" Indrea gasped.

Treygan grabbed the back of Yara's chair. The muscles in his neck and arms rippled. He hadn't told the Violets about Yara's blood-drinking incident. If he hid something that major, what else would they suspect him of keeping from them?

"Yara drank my blood," I said.

The stone chair broke into pieces under Treygan's grip. "That's a lie! She did drink selkie blood, but not directly from you."

"And you kept this information from us?" Caspian asked him accusingly.

"I explained it to her. I explained the cravings, that she would have to fight them and never drink again. She endured the withdrawal." He sounded desperate and guilty. "Examine her. She has no moon hallmark. The coldness isn't a part of her."

Yara looked terrified. I wondered if she had ever seen the power of Treygan's temper. Crumbling chairs was child's play for him.

"That's not the point," Indrea chided. "You kept it hidden from us, along with your feelings for Yara. Pango said he hasn't even had a chance to teach her how to share memories. None of this is very promising to the success of our plan."

"But I do know how to share memories!" Yara exclaimed.

"Yara," Treygan said. "Please hush."

"Why should she hush?" Indrea asked. "Let her speak."

Treygan and Yara exchanged a glance that said something, but I couldn't tell what. Yara hesitated but then faced Indrea. "Treygan and I have shared memories several times."

Indrea and Caspian's eyes widened. Treygan dropped his head in his hands. This just kept getting better.

Caspian walked over to him. "
You
shared a memory with her?
You
were her first? Did we not forbid that very thing? That bond is stronger than any other! Do you realize what you have done?"

Yara stood. "He didn't do anything wrong. I made him teach me. He tried to tell—"

"Yara, stop," Treygan said. "I apologize, Caspian. She hated our kind. Hated what she had become. Koraline was clinging to life with minimal hope of recovery. Yara needed to understand more about us, and to connect with one of our kind."

"Yes, but not you!" Caspian roared. "Anyone but you, Treygan. Good oceans and heavens, you've made it impossible for us to believe you two will proceed with our plan."

"No!" Treygan grabbed Caspian's arm. "We will, I swear it. You know how strong my loyalty is."

"
Your
loyalty, yes, but your actions have set up an impossible task for Yara." Caspian glanced at Yara who stood watching nervously. "She couldn't possibly do what will be asked of her."

Treygan tried speaking softly so no one else would hear. But Jack and I were close enough. "Please, let me explain it to her. I will make her understand. She'll do it."

Caspian studied him for a moment and turned to Yara. "Are you in love with Treygan?"

Her eyes darted toward Treygan then back at Caspian. "I prefer not to answer."

Caspian folded his hands in front of him. "I will ask you one more time, Yara. If you choose not to answer, I will arrange it so this will be the last time you see Treygan. Ever."

She swallowed hard, panic flashed in her eyes.

"Are you in love with Treygan?" Caspian asked again.

Yara bowed her head and closed her eyes. "Yes."

Jack smacked me on the back. A dull pain surged across my chest, but I didn't understand why. I didn't love Yara. What did I care if she fell for Treygan?

"Indrea, a word in private." Caspian motioned to the doorway. She rose and they left the room together.

Treygan stared at Yara. She kept her head down, but Treygan lifted her face.

"Why is it such a horrible thing for me to love you?" she asked. "Why are they acting like we committed a crime?"

Jack had the nerve to speak. "Because Treygan is—"

"Shut up, Jack!" Treygan turned on him with fury burning in his eyes. "Why are you still here? You accomplished your goal. Go back to your filthy bar."

"Listen, you worthless—"

I stood between them. "Jack, stop. He's right. We're no longer needed here."

"You were never needed here," Treygan hissed.

Caspian and Indrea came back into the room with four Indigos. None of them were Delmar, which wasn't a good sign. Treygan knew it too. He stepped in front of Yara, putting his arms out protectively like he could shield her from what was about to happen.

Caspian stepped forward. "You and Yara will be separated until the morning of the Triple Eighteen."

"No!" Treygan argued.

"Yes," Caspian insisted. "Pango will continue her education, and you
will
stay away from her."

"You can't do this!" Yara shouted, trying to move around Treygan.

"We can, Yara, and it must be done. This isn't your fault. Treygan committed careless actions which have serious consequences. We are taking this step to protect you."

"Treygan protects me! He's my guardian—the one who saved my life. He would never do anything to hurt me."

Treygan's expression became stony. I couldn't decipher it.

He slowly turned to look at Yara. He bent his knees so they were eye to eye and cradled her face in his hands. "Yara, listen to me. They're right."

"No," she whimpered, shaking her head. "You didn't do anything wrong. We shouldn't be apart."

"We have to be."

"They can't order us to stay away from each other!"

"I'm agreeing to it," he said somberly. "I've done too much damage as it is."

"No!"

"Enough," Caspian announced. "Treygan, go to my private quarters."

Treygan ran his thumb down Yara's cheek. "Goodbye, Yamabuki."

"No!" She clutched his hands.

It pained even me to watch him pull free of her and walk out. She started to go after him, but two Indigos held her back. She kicked and struggled while shouting Treygan's name.

I should've been ecstatic. We did what we came to do. But as much as I disagreed with the merfolk's plan, and as sure as I was that Yara had to be sacrificed for our future, I felt sick. Jack wore a satisfied grin.

"Yara, calm down," Indrea pleaded. "Causing a scene will not help the situation."

"You're soulless monsters!" Yara yelled. "All of you!"

Indrea smoothed down her dress and lifted her chin high, but she looked hurt. "Take her to the library," she told the Indigos. "I will be there momentarily."

They dragged Yara out of the room as she screamed over her shoulder, "Rownan, how could you? I would have never done this to you and Vienna! Never!"

If I hadn't been feeling guilty before, that did the job. I slumped into my chair, feeling weak and nauseous.

Her screaming faded down the hallway.

Caspian turned to me and Jack. "As much as I hate to say this, we may have to reevaluate our plan. We will spend a few days monitoring the situation, then meet with you at the end of the week to consult. If it truly seems Yara isn't able to follow through with our plan," Caspian hung his head, "we will turn her over to you."

Jack smiled and reached his hand out to shake Caspian's.

Caspian put his hands behind his back. "We have no alternative. It does not mean we agree with it, or that we will ever forgive ourselves for letting it come to this."

Indrea gave one nod of agreement, and then a purple tear ran down her cheek.

T
he sun had traversed the sky four times since they had separated me from Yara.

Pango and Merrick had been ordered to stop helping with the crops. Two other greens were assigned to take their place. The Violets worried Pango would deliver messages between me and Yara. Delmar had been allowed to stay on duty, but since he spent his days with me he wasn't allowed within fifty feet of Yara.

We had finished hanging the plants for the day, so the two Greens said goodbye as Delmar and I put the tools in the shed.

"You're miserable," Delmar observed.

He knew what happened at the meeting with the Violets, and I told him I never wanted to discuss it again.

"Beyond miserable," he continued. "I've never seen you like this."

I coiled the hanging line and shoved it onto a shelf.

"Treygan, what can I do?"

"Make sure all the bags have been picked up outside."

He rested his hand on my shoulder. "That's not what I meant. What can I do to help you and Yara?"

"There is no me and Yara."

"Knock it off. This is me you're talking to. It's tearing you apart being away from her."

"It's for the best."

"That's sharkshit."

"What do you suggest I do, Del? Disobey the Violets, fight my way into Pango's house, and demand he and Merrick jeopardize their rank by letting me see her?"

"Stellar plan. Do it."

I rolled my eyes. "It's not rational."

"Love is not rational. You have a limited number of days left with her. Pango and Merrick will do whatever they can to help you. They saw what I saw. You, for the first time ever, in love and deliriously happy—even when you were trying to hide it. You have to fight for that."

I sat down on the bench, exhausted by my own emptiness. "I should have stayed away. I made it a million times harder on her."

"That girl loves you. Even after seeing Kimber and realizing what you're capable of at your worst, she watched you with a sparkle in her eye that any fool could see was unconditional love. You think Yara cares about what happens a week from now? She's dying inside because she can't be with you."

"She's tough as a seawall. She'll be fine."

He sat beside me. "Pango said she doesn't eat. She doesn't talk, smile or laugh at his jokes. She doesn't swim or go out in the sunlight. She's not fine. Neither of you are fine."

Hearing about Yara torturing herself made my stomach twist in knots. "She's smoking, right?"

"No. Pango said her only saving grace is that she spends a lot of time in his resting pool, but she only does it so she can be alone. She asked to visit Lloyd, and when the Violets agreed she didn't show a hint of excitement or happiness."

"Not even when she saw him?"

"He wasn't home."

I stood up and leaned against the shed's doorframe, watching the last trace of sun disappear over the water. "What do I do? Which path will hurt her less?"

"What do
you
want to do? For once in your life, Treygan, do what's best for you. Don't act out of guilt about your mother or your grandmother. Don't do it for your people, for honor, or for Rathe. Do it for
you
. You've earned it."

"Earned it? What have I earned? I vowed to protect Yara. I promised her mother I would keep her safe from a future of misery. I've broken that vow. I singlehandedly made her more miserable than she's ever been."

He stood beside me. "She's miserable because she can't be with you."

"Does she know yet? Has Pango told her the selkies' plan?"

Delmar's cheeks puffed out as he exhaled loudly. "He wanted to wait until she showed some improvement. She's too emotionally unstable. He's worried telling her will push her over the edge. The Violets agree."

I nodded.

"Treygan, the Violets are wavering in their faith. In two days, if Yara isn't ready and willing to do her part, then …." Delmar's skin streaked with shades of green. He rarely showed sadness.

"What? Then what?"

"They'll turn her over to the selkies."

"No! How could they agree to that? It's barbaric!"

"They don't know what else to do. They're distraught over it."

My heart pounded. All of my hallmarks snaked around my body. My skin deepened to dark gray. "They can't do this!"

"You tell me what you want to do, and I'll stop at nothing to make it happen."

"I need to see her. I have to make her understand our way is best."

"When?"

"Now."

"Give me a few hours. I need to find out which guards are at Pango's and call in favors. I don't want us fighting any of our people if we don't have to. You might lose control."

"No. I mean, of course." I couldn't think straight. Yara's life was on the line and I had to wait hours before I could do anything to protect her. "Delmar, the selkies can't come near her. I don't care if we have to run away until the Triple Eighteen."

"I'll work on getting a place for you to hide out, just in case it comes to that."

I hugged him. "You're risking everything by helping me. I can't thank you enough."

"You want to thank me?" He clutched my shoulders. "Love her, Treygan. And let her love you. Remember Koraline's motto: Love until it kills you, because there's nothing better worth dying for."

T
he sickness made my connection to my mother stronger.

I couldn't tell Pango. I wanted to, but he would think I was nuts if I told him I was making myself sick so I could see my mother's ghost again. Let him assume I was torturing myself because of depression. No one would believe me if I told the truth. No one except Uncle Lloyd.

I kept hoping I would see my mother again like I did at the pier. She looked like a white orb of light, but I knew it was her. She tried to tell me something, but I had been in too much pain to understand her.

Two days ago, the memory of another time I saw her ghost had returned to me. Years ago when I was sick with pneumonia, I had seen her at the hospital. I told Uncle Lloyd and he said I wasn't crazy. He believed guardian angels hung around to help us and communicating with spirits was possible. Maybe my mother could help me and Treygan.

Pango refused to tell me the selkies' plan until I started eating. All he would say was that it wouldn't work. My mother had been a siren, connected to the gorgons. What if she knew something the rest of us didn't? What if she could help?

Pango's resting pool was more secluded than Koraline's. He and Merrick weren't within hearing range, so I shut the door to the room. Rain clouds had covered the moon. No light shined through the window. I sat at the edge of the pool and dipped my feet into the cool, liquid darkness.

My head had been pounding for days. My stomach hurt so badly from hunger it made me nauseous. My muscles trembled from fatigue. But if my mother had the answers I needed, then it would be worth the suffering.

"Mom," I whispered. "Are you here?" I kept very still, squinting into the black water, watching for any flash or floating light, waiting for my skin to start prickling from her energy. Then I saw something. At first it looked like a white rock shimmering at the bottom of the pool, except I knew the rock liner was made of black and brown stones. I leaned closer, blinking through the tightness behind my eyes and trying to ignore the headache. I focused on the white blur in the water.

The cloudy spot was growing bigger, floating toward me, pulsing and flexing. The foggy outline of a face appeared. I felt so weak I could hardly keep my head up, but I leaned even closer, my face inches from the water, my fingers gripping the edge of the pool.

My mother's voice rippled through my aching head.

I felt like I had cotton balls stuffed in my ears. Most of her words were a faint stream of murmuring I couldn't understand, but I caught a few of them.

Truth … secret … visit … sirens … blood … die.

"Die?" That one word snapped me from my concentration. "Who dies?"

The cloud shrunk away. The whispering stopped.

"Mom, please don't go."

A white bird crashed against the window above me. It threw itself against the glass, over and over. The loud noise made my head feel like it was cracking open. Sharp pains shot through my temples.

I reached out to where the light had disappeared and fell forward, splashing into the water. I was too weak to swim. My eyes drifted closed as I sank to the bottom of the pool, reaching for my mother and for a way to save Treygan, but never finding either.

I
never actually passed out.

My body went numb and my mind was hazy while everything happened around me, but I remembered bits and pieces: Pango pulling me out of the pool, being wrapped in towels, and then sinking into a bed. At one point I saw Merrick, his lips moving above me, but I couldn't hear him. I remember smelling rubbing alcohol, a sting in my arm, then, eventually, the wood ceiling beams came into focus.

I stared at the beams for a long time, thinking I needed to move my body or do something, anything, but I couldn't. I couldn't keep my eyes open, but I never fell asleep.

For a long time my world consisted of nothing but the inside of my eyelids. I hadn't noticed they had a shimmery, golden hue. I couldn't recall what I saw when I closed my eyes as a human, but it wasn't all bright and sparkly.

I forced my eyes open and stared at the ceiling beams again.

Then I stared at the back of my eyelids.

Ceiling beams.

Eyelids.

Over and over, until it changed: ceiling beams, eyelids, Pango.

I kept my eyes open and he smiled.

"There she is. Welcome back to Oz, Diva Dorothy. We've missed you."

My stomach didn't hurt anymore. I sat up and my muscles didn't feel like wet noodles. Pango stuffed pillows behind me. I was lying in his bed with a catheter in my arm. An IV fluid bag hung from the trident floor lamp beside me.

I felt much better.

Crap.

"It's a good thing you're a mermaid," Pango teased. "Otherwise you would have drowned in that pool. You're supposed to rest face up, ya know? Face down gives you saggy skin."

"Yara, how do you feel?" Merrick asked, sitting on the other side of me.

"Better." They had ruined it. I had made notable progress with making myself sick and contacting my mother, and they had ruined it by pumping me full of miracle juice.

Pango rested his hand on mine. "Please tell me you aren't on a suicide mission. Self-pity is so not in style."

"I'm not suicidal."

"Then why did you let yourself get that sick? Between you and my sister, my fragile heart can't take any more."

"I'm sorry, Pango." He deserved to know the truth. We only had a week left. If I explained everything he might understand and we could try again. "It was the only way I could …." I looked into his emerald eyes and took a breath. "Communicate with my mother."

The bed bounced as Pango and Merrick both sat up straight.

"Come again," Pango said.

"The night Nixie took me to Rownan's party I got sick—
really
sick—and I saw my mother. I think she's been trying to tell me something. Right before I fell into the pool she said someone might die. I think she has the answers, but I have to be sick to talk to her."