Targeted (Hostage Rescue Team Series Book 2) (6 page)

He paused again, swallowed, and she could see the tension in his shoulder muscles. “His pension and what money I can give to help pay for private care wasn’t going to be enough long-term. He needs round the clock care now. I was afraid it would kill him, going into a place like that. On the days when he has some awareness still, I know he fucking hates being there. I held off on pulling the trigger on the care home as long as I could, but…” He shook his head, and she could see the guilt and sadness etched into his face.

Celida drew in a slow breath. The thought of a strong, proud Army veteran like Al winding up in a place like that, totally dependent on strangers for basic necessities like food and personal hygiene, pierced her. And Tuck was right, his father would hate it.

“I’m sorry,” she said, meaning it. Tuck and his dad were close. The kind of close father-and-child relationship she’d only ever read about or seen in movies before meeting them and seeing it firsthand. “When did this happen?”

He glanced over at her, his eyes full of torment. “Three months ago. He’s gone downhill fast since then. Most of the time when I go in there he doesn’t even know who I am anymore.”

Oh, God
.

His pain made her heart hurt. She eased forward down the length of the couch to wrap her fingers around his hand, tug it free of the mug and squeeze it. “I’m so sorry.” It sounded so lame, but it was all she could think of to say, and it was from the heart.

Tuck gave her a stiff smile and nodded, focused back on his coffee. “Thanks.” He took a breath, that broad chest lifting and falling, seemed to be gearing up for whatever he was about to say next. “The doctors say he doesn’t have much longer. A few weeks, maybe a couple more months. I found out a week before you were injured.”

“Oh, no…” Saying she was sorry for the third time seemed excessive, but she was. So damn sorry. He looked so sad she ached to wrap her arms around him. But at least he hadn’t pulled his hand free so she rubbed her thumb across the back of his hand in silent sympathy.

“That’s why I wasn’t around much,” he continued. “Work’s been pretty great about giving me time off here and there so I can be with him, but I know things are just going to decline pretty sharply from now on. I know I should probably bank the time for later when it’s close to the end, but I want to be with him now, before he’s too far gone to even talk. His good days are rare, but damn, I don’t wanna miss any of them. When the nurses call to say he’s having a good one, I try my damndest to get in there.”

Celida nodded, not knowing what to say. She’d had no idea things had gotten this bad, and she completely understood why Tuck hadn’t been there for her more after the attack. She just wished he would have told her so she could have helped, or at least been there to lend an empathetic ear, but maybe he hadn’t been comfortable with it.

And Zoe. She had to know all of this. Why hadn’t she told her anything? Celida would have at least reached out to Tuck to see if there was anything she could do to help.

His expression turned wistful, his eyes holding a faraway look as he gazed across the room at the mantel where Celida had a few framed photos displayed. Some of her and her mother, others of her and Zoe. “How old were you when your mom died?”

“Twenty.” She’d died in a car accident on an icy January night on the way back from the store to pick up milk for Celida’s breakfast, her thoughtfulness ending in tragedy. “You were eight when your mom passed away, right?”

“Yes. I remember her though. I was as close to her as I am to my dad. He never got over her. Still talks about her on his good days.”

Celida’s gaze strayed to the photos on the mantel. The rest of her place was decorated in neutral tones, splashes of color in the ruby throw tossed across the chaise in the corner and in the artwork on the walls she’d bought during a shopping trip with her mom soon after moving in. “I still miss her.”

“You’ve told me a few times you guys were really close.”

She nodded. “Not nearly as close as you and your dad, but yeah, I was closer to her than anyone.” More like best friends than mother and daughter, which in hindsight maybe hadn’t been the healthiest thing. Still, her mother had loved her, done her best and made many sacrifices to provide Celida with the life she’d never had.

His gaze shifted to hers. “What about your dad? You’ve told me some stuff but you barely ever talk about him.”

There was a reason for that, and a reason why she didn’t have any photos of him. She’d always been private about her family life, even with Tuck, and apparently Zoe had never told him anything. That loyalty just made her love her friend even more.

“He wasn’t a good man. He’s
still
not a good man,” she corrected. “I think I told you that he brought my mother to Florida from Cuba, got her pregnant with me and basically treated her like shit until I was nine and he finally took off with one of his girlfriends.”

“Yeah, and that makes him a fucking asshole in my book,” Tuck muttered, making Celida smile at the fierceness in his tone. “You been in touch with him recently?”

“Nope. Not since he remarried about six years ago now. He’ll never change and I finally realized that so I made the decision to cut him out of my life and move on.”

“I don’t blame you. I feel bad for him in a way though. He missed out on knowing you.”

This time she was the one to look away, down at her own mug, fighting the twinge of pain at the thought of losing her father. Shitty as he was, he was still her father. But she knew she was far better off without him and didn’t regret her decision. “I’m glad your dad was always there for you. You’re both lucky to have that kind of bond. It’s special. And rare.”

“Yeah, I know it. Every once in a while he’ll recognize me. Some days when I go in his eyes are bright and alert and he’ll smile when he sees me. That’s what I live for right now. For those days when I walk in there and I know he still remembers me,” he finished in a husky voice and her heart broke in two.

Fuck her pride, and fuck his too. She put her mug on the table, put his there too, and got on her knees beside him to wind her arms around his wide shoulders. For a moment he stiffened as though she’d taken him off guard, but then he returned the embrace and rested his chin on the top of her shoulder, the stubble of his beard catching in her hair and his warm breath caressing the side of her neck.

Celida closed her eyes, savored the feel of him, all warm, hard muscle against her. “I didn’t know,” she whispered, squeezing him tight, the soft blond waves of his hair brushing her cheek. “I wish I could have helped.”

He squeezed her in response, holding on just as hard for a second before releasing her and sitting back. He cleared his throat, wouldn’t look at her as though he was embarrassed. “I haven’t told many people. Guess part of me isn’t ready to accept this is it.”

“I can understand that.” But Zoe must know. Why the hell hadn’t her friend told her? Celida was going to ask her tonight. “Can I do anything now to help?” She wanted to ease the burden for him, even if it was in a small way.

He gave her a little smile, his chocolate eyes warm with gratitude. “You just did.”

Her heart squeezed. Aw, hell, how was she supposed to keep her feelings to herself when he said sweet things like that? She eased back to her place at the opposite end of the couch. “You’ll let me know if you need something though?”

The smile disappeared. He nodded, then looked away and surged to his feet, rubbing a hand over his face. “Okay, damn.” He put his hands on his hips and faced her, his stare intent, a powerful alpha male on a mission. “Look, I didn’t come in here and tell you that to make you feel sorry for me.”

She blinked at the curt edge to his tone, but before the surge of temper starting inside her could gather any steam, he continued. “These past few weeks have made things real clear to me. I don’t want to have any regrets when I’m on my deathbed, so I wanna spend as much time with my dad as I can before he goes, and you know what my commitment to my team takes. But I can’t pretend there’s not something else missing.”

She stared at him, trying to fill in the blanks.

His gaze bored into hers, focused, intent. “You.”

Speechless, her anger evaporating, she could only stare at him while her heart thudded against her ribs. She’d thought she would have to be the one to initiate this conversation, then pry this response out of him. She’d never expected him to say any of this to her voluntarily.

He kept his eyes locked with hers, his resolve clear in his expression and in his body language. “The day you were wounded it scared the hell out of me that I’d almost lost you. You matter to me. Always have. I want you. To be with you.”

Holy hell.

Every nerve ending in her body lit up, a wave of heat flooding her so fast that for a moment it felt like she was drowning. She couldn’t believe he’d just admitted all that without being under torture. Though knowing Tuck, his training and experience in the years he’d spent in Delta, even torture wouldn’t have made him say it if he didn’t want to.

“I want to be with you too,” she said softly. So much she could barely breathe right now.

His gaze sharpened, heated. “I mean for more than sex, darlin’.”

Oh, man, he’d never called her that before. The way he said it in that deep drawl, the look in his eyes, made her all melty inside.

“How much more?” she managed to get out, loving everything about this conversation but balking at the thought of being locked into something she wasn’t ready for.

Being exclusive, she could totally handle, because there was no way she would share him. Ever. But the long-term commitment she sensed he wanted from her still scared her a little, even though he was the best man she’d ever known. The truth was, she wasn’t sure if she had it in her to make something last long-term.

His gaze never wavered from hers. “As much as you’ll give me.”

Her heart did a weird little roll at that simple statement, like it had fainted. Seriously, it was a freaking miracle that she didn’t just slide right off the couch into a puddle on the floor in front of him. He wanted everything, but wasn’t pushing her for more than she could handle. And damn, if that didn’t make her slide a little further into love with him.

“Okay.” It came out all breathy and soft, but it was the best she could manage when drawing in oxygen seemed impossible. She was on her feet without realizing it, already reaching for him when he held out a hand to stop her. She froze, looked at him questioningly.

His face was so serious. “All or nothing, Celida. If you want me that’s the way it’s gonna have to be. I can’t do it any other way with you.”

She heard the warning note in his voice, knew it likely was because he knew she didn’t do long-term, but it barely registered above the territorial vibe he was giving off.

“Okay,” she repeated, willing to examine the implications of her decision later if it meant finally feeling that mouth on hers, those hands all over her body. He was standing in front of her telling her he wanted her and there was no way she could say no.

His expression relaxed at her answer, the tension in his shoulders easing. Without a word he took the remaining step to close the distance between them and took her face in his hands. Such a powerful man, yet capable of such gentleness too. The tender, possessive gesture nearly undid her.

She gazed up at him, her heart fluttering wildly as he stared down at her, his gaze so hot on her face it burned. She slid her own hands up the back of his neck to thread into the silky waves of his hair. As though it was the signal he’d been waiting for, Tuck bent his head and kissed her…cheek.

Just as confusion and disappointment registered, he spoke. “I’ve wanted to kiss this better from the moment I walked into that hotel room and saw you on that stretcher,” he murmured, his lips following the scar with tender kisses.

“It doesn’t hurt anymore,” she whispered back, her heart swelling with emotion. But she’d wanted him to kiss her for too long and she didn’t want to wait anymore. Turning her lips toward his, she shivered in relief when he finally covered her mouth with his own.

Heat exploded inside her. Her nipples stiffened, a delicious thrill sending a hot wire of pleasure from her breasts to the pit of her stomach and down between her thighs. She increased her hold on his head and kissed him back, reeling from the intensity of it.

Tuck moved closer, pressing his chest against her breasts, the feel of those rock solid muscles making her light-headed. His body was so hard, the kiss demanding, but his lips and tongue were so soft as they caressed hers.

A delirious moan slipped free as she slid her tongue over his, rubbed against his body in an effort to ease the ache he’d ignited. Tuck made a low sound in the back of his throat in response and removed one hand from her face to wrap his arm around her waist. He hauled her up tight against him and turned them, moved back a few paces to the wall where he pinned her with his weight, the solid length of his erection lodged firmly against her belly and his hard muscles pressed all over her front from chest to hips.

She shuddered in his arms, everything in her turning liquid at the mind-blowing display of hunger from him. They were still clothed but this was almost as good as sex. And it was already so much more intense than she’d ever dreamed it would be.

Hungry for more, Celida slid her calf up the back of his, her range of motion restricted by her snug skirt. Tuck reached down to grab her thigh and pull it upward. She heard a seam rip and didn’t care, focused only on the feel of his erection now pressed between her thighs, the slight friction frustrating because of the layers of cloth separating them.

Fists clenched tight in his hair, she kissed him with all the pent-up longing she’d hidden for the past three years and rolled her hips against his. Tuck hummed in approval and kept on kissing her, rubbing that denim-covered ridge right where she needed it.

She tore her mouth free and sucked in a breath, the back of her head hitting the wall with a slight thud as pleasure shot through her. His mouth blazed a scalding path of kisses down her jaw and the side of her neck, one hand buried in her hair and the other squeezing her ass to hold her close. Celida shivered, her moan drowned out by the roar of blood in her ears.