Taught to Kneel (2 page)

* * *

Hunger woke her before she heard the knock. She sat up, confused for a moment as to where she was before registering that someone was at her door. She stood, wrapping the towel around herself, combing her fingers through her hair.

The knock came again. She made her way to the door and opened it. It must have been early evening; the shadows of the sun were fading. Julian stood on her step dressed in a gray button down shirt and black dress slacks. The shirt was open at the top and tanned, muscled skin peeked out from beneath. He held her towel and book in his hands and when he moved to step inside, she instinctively opened the door farther and let him in.

“You left your things earlier,” he said, setting them down on the table by the door.

“Thank you for bringing them.” She was suddenly conscious of how she must look, her eyes puffy from crying, her still damp hair a matted mess around her head. She reached her hand up and once again tried to work through the tangles.

He closed the door behind him before stepping closer.

She didn’t back away. And when his arms enveloped her and his hands pressed against her back, pulling her closer, she didn’t struggle. He closed his mouth over hers even as their eyes remained open.

It wasn’t a gentle, exploratory kiss. It was a claiming of her mouth and it sent electricity straight to her sex. She moaned as he deepened the kiss, pulling her closer, one hand at the back of her head while he devoured her. Her hands went to his shoulders before wrapping around his neck and head, needing him nearer. She didn’t notice when the towel pooled around her feet and she stood naked, wrapped only in his arms.

He moved to kiss her jaw, her neck, her shoulders. He trailed little bites that hurt just enough as he led her backwards to the bed. Only when she felt her bottom on the sheets did she think to stop what was going on.

“Julian,” she whispered, her voice thick.

He knelt between her legs and had one small, round breast in his mouth. He made some sound of acknowledgement as he brought his lips just over her nipple. Her fingers, entwined in his hair, pulled him closer although she meant to push him away.

“We can’t,” she said, hugging him to her as he sucked, drawing the nipple out until he had just the very tip between his teeth.

She moaned and closed her eyes.

He didn’t speak but moved to the other breast and did the same, her nipples pebbling, her legs opening wider, her body responding to his touch.

He progressed down her belly, pushing her back slightly so she supported herself on her elbows. Opening her eyes she watched his dark head settle between her legs. She spread them wider, unable to stop, orgasm too close as his tongue teased her lips apart and his mouth finally closed over her clit. She threw her head back and called out while he sucked, still using his fingers to work her nipples until she bucked beneath him. Her climax was quick and violent and hungry, her body having been disregarded for too long.

* * *

Julian climbed on top of her as she collapsed on the bed, breathing hard. He kissed her, knowing she would taste herself his lips, his tongue. He was rock hard and he pressed his erection against her, very aware she would still be tender after her climax.

“Gabrielle,” he said, wanting to look into her eyes. She opened them, their golden depths darker now from her arousal. They were an unusual shade, but it wasn’t their color that piqued his interest. It was the pain he saw in them. Maybe it was because he recognized its origin, found a kindred spirit within.

He ground his hips against her sex and her eyes widened. “I need you.”

“Let me up,” she said, pushing against his shoulders. He let her go and she knelt alongside him, undoing first his belt, then his zipper. She gasped when she pulled his pants down and released his cock, which was thick and hard, the head already smeared in pre-cum. Glancing at him with lust in her eyes, she brought her mouth to the tip. Her little pink tongue licked the very tip, tasting him as she kept her gaze steady on his. He watched while she circled his cock with it before taking it into her mouth, her lips closing around its width. He moaned and laid his head back when she sucked hard while grasping its base.

“Put your knees on either side of my face,” he instructed.

Without hesitating, she moved into position, her knees spread wide. Her pussy was just above his mouth, the lips open and slick. Reaching up he spread them further and inserted a finger into her, making her gasp.

He smiled.

“Clasp your hands behind your back,” he said. “Only your mouth on my cock.”

She did as he said.

He moaned, drawing her hips down over his face, and licked the lips of her pussy and dipped his tongue inside before closing his mouth over her clit. She moved faster, taking him deep into her mouth, her throat. She bucked as she climaxed again, her hips grinding against his face while he sucked her clit, feeling his own cock twitch and release into her mouth.

When he shifted his body, she sat up, kneeling alongside him, a hand covering her mouth.

He stood and zipped his pants, all the while watching her as she knelt on the bed, her eyes wide on his.

With one hand on the top of her head, he gave his first command: “Swallow.”

She didn't hesitate, but did as he said.

“Good girl,” he said, buckling his belt. “I’m hungry. Have dinner with me.”

She wiped her mouth with the back of her hand. “I need a shower,” she answered even though it wasn't really a question.

“I’ll wait.” He helped her to her feet and sat on the couch while she washed and dressed. He noted the fact that she didn’t try to hide her body as she moved around the room applying makeup, choosing a dress, strapping her sandals in place.

She turned to him. “Ready,” she said.

She wore a pale taupe colored silk dress that clung to her delicate curves and came to just above her knees. Three-inch sandals in the same color and long earrings that reached her shoulders finished the look. Her hair, still somewhat damp, was held in a jeweled clip at the back of her head and he imagined she struggled with the unruly mass as long tendrils already fell around her shoulders.

“Luciana's holding a table for us,” he said.

“How did you know I would say yes?” she asked.

He grinned, “I had a feeling.”

“Julian,” she hesitated when they got to the door. “What happened just now…”

“Was fantastic. I enjoyed it thoroughly and I think you did too,” he finished for her, gesturing for her to go ahead of him.

She looked like she was going to say something but changed her mind and preceded him out the door. They walked in silence to the main building and to their waiting table.

Chapter Two

Luciana set the bottle of wine on their table on the patio of the restaurant. The night was clear, just as Gabrielle always remembered them to be, with some lights in the distance but dark enough that the sky glowed with stars. There were two other tables with couples quietly eating their meals but they were far enough away that all were offered privacy.

Julian picked up his glass and sipped. “I saw you earlier,” he said.

“Earlier?” she asked, tasting the wine.

“On your way to the swimming pool. You watched them, the couple there.”

She turned to discover that the couple she'd seen earlier in the day sat at one of the tables. Her face flaming red, she returned her gaze to his, unsure what to say.

“I'm not judging you. I only wanted you to know that I saw.”

“Why were you watching me?”

“Because I wanted to.”

“I don't know anything about you,” she said, trying to make sense of what was happening between them. “What we did earlier, I've never done… those things… with a stranger.”

“I don't think we'll be strangers long. Tell me, why are you here alone, Gabrielle? What brings a woman like you to a place like this alone?”

She searched around her, taking another sip of wine. He remained studying her, his eyes not unkind. She wanted to tell him the truth, to let him see her. Would he want to have anything to do with her once he learned what kind of woman she was? Or was pushing him away just another way of punishing herself?

“I used to come here with my husband,” she said, taking a large sip of wine as he digested this information. Whatever he thought, he hid it well as he remained watching, waiting for her to continue. “He left two years ago and this is the first time I’ve returned here.”

“I see,” he said.

“I don’t know that it’s… fair… for me to be here with another man in my bed.”

“Fair?” he asked, just as Luciana served their starter: a plate of various meats with olives and crusty bread.

He offered her some of the meat. She took it although hunger wasn’t what she was feeling at the moment. “Thank you.”

He took a bite but didn't say anything more which made her even more uncomfortable.

“What brings a man like you here alone?” she asked. She'd always been good at answering questions with questions when she didn't want to give away too much.

“I'm not in a relationship. My wife and I divorced a few years back and I wanted to take a few days away.”

“Where are you from?” she asked. “You have an accent but your English is perfect.”

He smiled. “Thank you. I'm French, actually. I've lived in Paris the last few years but am originally from the southern part of the country. You?”

“I love Paris,” she said, relaxing a little now that the conversation had grown more casual. “I live in Florida but am originally from Denver. I often have work in Amsterdam and managed to schedule a few days here during this trip.”

“You used to come with your husband?” He took a bite of food.

She nodded. “We honeymooned here and came back every summer. We… I love it.”

“Why did he leave?”

Her eyes grew wide and she choked on the bite in her mouth. He reached out to rub her back while she brought her napkin to her lips.

“You're direct,” she said, coughing.

He handed her the water glass and she drank half of the contents.

“I don't want to talk about the weather with you, Gabrielle,” he said.

“And I don’t want to talk about my ex-husband with you,” she replied, her tone more harsh than she intended.

His look told her she sounded as rude to him as she did to her own ears. He picked up his knife and fork and brought his attention to his plate.

“I'm sorry, that was rude.” She reached out to touch his leg. “I’m sorry.” She was so tired of those two words. Would she ever be free of their power over her? She folded her napkin and went to rise but he placed his hand on her knee.

“Sit down,” he said, his voice different.

She did, her pale eyes on his black ones.

“When I told you earlier that I wanted to help you, I meant it. I can see you're in some pain,” he said, causing her eyes to well up again. “And I imagine from what you've said that it has to do with your ex-husband. My wife left me some years back, Gabrielle. She had an affair and although I could forgive her, she couldn't forgive herself. Her inability to accept my forgiveness and, in turn, forgive herself, cost us both, cost our family. I understood a few years later that what she needed wasn't only my forgiveness. She wanted—she
needed
—to be punished for her actions in order to be free of her guilt. I failed her there, but I've learned my lesson and have put the past in its place. What about you, Gabrielle? Have you forgiven yourself or does guilt hold you tight in its grip?”

His words confronted her and she stared back at him. His gaze never faltered.

She could get up and walk away now. She could pack her bag and leave tonight and forget this day had ever happened. She could go back to her life and keep screaming into water until she drowned.

“I had an affair,” she said, surprising herself more than him perhaps. She kept her eyes on his throughout her confession. “William loved me but it wasn't enough. I wanted more.” Her voice shook and it took all she had to contain the tears, but she was determined to continue. “I wanted something different than what he could give. It was stupid and selfish and childish.” What she really meant was '
I
was stupid and selfish and childish.'

“I found a man who I thought wanted what I wanted and one night turned into two, then more. William found out eventually and it broke his heart.”

She paused briefly, and then continued, “I told him the truth; I told him everything. I'd told him before it happened as best as I could that I needed more from him… in the bedroom, but he couldn't give it to me and I went to someone else looking for it. That someone else didn't work out either and I'm not even sure I wanted it to, but our marriage was over.” She drank the rest of her wine. “You asked me if I'd forgiven myself and I think you know the answer is no. I mean, it's pretty obvious, right? I'm a mess.” She reached for the wine bottle to refill her glass but his hand covered hers and set it on her lap.

“Do you still love him? William?”

She shook her head, “No.”

“And your lover?”

She exhaled and shook her head again. “No, that was just stupidity. He wasn't what I was looking for, not by a long shot.”

“And what is it you're looking for then?” he asked, refilling her water glass but leaving the wine glass empty.

She stared at him, her face taking on a pink hue. She couldn't tell him that, absolutely not. She shook her head slowly; she couldn’t speak those words out loud again.

He nodded and didn't push.

“You don't have children, I'm assuming?” he asked.

“No. We were waiting until… well I don't know what we were waiting for. Maybe some part of us knew we wouldn't make it. I don’t know.” She drank a sip of water. Luciana came to serve their meal and they remained silent. Gabrielle felt grateful for the reprieve. Once they were alone again, she remembered his earlier comment. “You have kids?”

He smiled, nodding. “A daughter. She’s ten now. She spends every other weekend with me and we take a summer holiday together every year.”