Tear Down These Walls (25 page)

“It would be worth it,” Trent retorts playfully. “I really want to lay
this guy out.”

Teagan looks down and exhales loudly. “I want to show you something next
time you are at my place.”

“What?”

“I want to show you the video,” Teagan whispers.

“Why?” Trent gasps.

Looking up at him, Teagan says, “I think I need someone to understand the
horror of it. Why I am the way I am.”

“Teagan, that’s very private,” Trent says.  “Are you sure?”

“I want someone to see it who won’t laugh, who understands the damage it
did,” Teagan states. “I have never shown it to anyone.”

“Then why me?” Trent asks softly.

“You may not know it, but you are helping me move forward. It’s slow, but
I trust a guy again. I know you won’t hurt me. I guess I need to see it and be
okay with it. It’s a lot to ask, I know. You don’t have to do it. It could be
really awkward.” She looks down, not wanting to see his possible rejection with
her own eyes.

“If you need to be held while watching it and told that it’s okay and you
are safe now, I will do it. You do need to heal and if I can help in that, I
will, in any way I can.”

Teagan looks into his eyes and then stands on her tip toes. She goes to
kiss his cheek, but Trent turns his head. Their lips meet, and it is the
softest, sweetest kiss. Teagan quickly pulls away and steps back. “Sorry,” she
stammers. “I didn’t….I didn’t mean for that to happen.”

“I did,” Trent replies.

With a shocked look, Teagan gasps, “What?”

“You need to know it’s all right. I’m not going to hurt you. Kissing is a
gentle, wonderful thing. I don’t want you to be scared of it.”

“But you said you didn’t want me to fall for you,” Teagan softly says,
still in shock.

“I’m not asking you to be my girlfriend. It was a moment where you needed
that contact. Tell me, did it scare you? Was it bad?”

She shakes her head. “No, it was nice.”

“See,” Trent whispers. “Take it one step at a time.” He reaches out and
grabs her hand. “Come on, let’s go see the sharks.”

Completely lost, Teagan follows him. She can still feel the press of his
lips on hers. It makes her feel things that she doesn’t think she is supposed
to be feeling. Shaking her head, Teagan tries to put it into the back of her
mind.

When they leave the aquarium, Trent opens Teagan’s door for her. “Doesn’t
the driver usually open the passenger’s door?” She laughs.

“A gentleman always opens the door for a lady, even if that lady is
driving,” Trent quips. He gets into the car and looks at her. “What do you want
to do now?”

“Aren’t you sick of me yet?” Teagan laughs.

“No, do you have homework you need to do?” Trent inquires.

Groaning, Teagan sighs, “Yes, I have a test to study for. BORING.”

“Well then, we had better get you home so you can study. Can’t have you
slack off because you are hanging out with me,” Trent jokes, nudging her arm
with his elbow.

“Want to come over?” Teagan asks. “We can watch tv and order a pizza
while I study.  I have to be doing two things at once to get anything
accomplished.”

“Actually……an old friend of mine is fighting tonight and I was going to
watch that,” Trent’s voice falls. “But it’s pay per view.”

“Ah,” Teagan replies. “I do not have that option. Off to take you home
then!”

“Can’t you study at my house?” Trent asks. “I do have very comfortable
couches in the living room.”

Teagan gives him a small grin. “Are you sure?”

“A fight is definitely better watched with someone else,” Trent states
solidly. “Let’s go get your stuff and head back to my place.”

“Okay,” Teagan giggles.

When they pull up to Teagan’s apartment, she looks at Trent  “I am
going to grab my stuff and be right back down.”

“Okay,” Trent replies. “Hurry up, chop, chop.”

“Quiet you,” Teagan teases as she jumps out of the car. When she gets
into her apartment, she grabs her books and computer bag. As she is walking
past her jewelry box, she stops. Teagan hesitates for a second and then pops
open the secret compartment. Inside sits a small jump drive. She waits a second
and then grabs it. Teagan shoves it really far down in her pocket and rushes
out the door.

Twenty minutes later they are walking into Trent’s house. “What do you have
to drink besides beer?” Teagan asks, as she carries her stuff to the living
room.

“Water, lemonade, and some juice boxes if you want,” Trent answers, as he
walks past her.

Teagan dumps all her stuff on the couch and turns around. “Juice boxes?
Why in the hell do you have juice boxes? Aren’t you a little old?”

“They are for Kya,” Trent replies. “She makes a mess with a real cup
still and doesn’t like sippy cups anymore. She’s very particular.”

“Awww, what a sweet uncle,” Teagan giggles. She walks over to the
pictures on the wall to get a better look at them. When Teagan sees Kya she
leans in closer to look at her.  “Huh,” she whispers to herself. 
“Hey Trent!”

“What?” He yells from the kitchen trying not to laugh.

“I don’t want to be rude, but…..does Kya have Down Syndrome?”

There is a heavy silence and then, “Why do you need to know?”

“Oh, I wasn’t trying to be nosy, but I have worked with a lot of kids
with downs and she just….looks….to have some of the traits.”

“Wait,” Trent starts. He comes walking into the living room. “What do you
mean you have worked with kids with Down Syndrome?”

“Since I was a sophomore in high school up until this last summer, I
volunteered for the summer city club. It’s a group that matches up teenagers
with developmentally disabled children. We take them to do fun summer things,
like going to the water parks, the zoo. You know, stuff like that. I worked
with a little blonde girl named Abigail. She has Down Syndrome. We rock it
every summer. I have six t-shirts that she made me over the years. I wear them
proudly. She wants me to come back this year. I don’t think I will volunteer,
but I am definitely going to have to take her out for the day.”

“Wow,” Trent breathes out.

“I was actually torn about what I wanted to do because my sister went
into social work and she works with developmentally disabled adults. I was kind
of thinking about doing that, but she convinced me to go for what I truly loved
and that was writing. So, I decided to go with that. Anyway, now that I have
prattled on for a while, Kya looks like she has traits.”

“Trisomy 21, the most common form of Downs. She is actually pretty high
functioning, but we try to work with her a lot. I pay for her to get the best
tutoring, therapy, everything.”

“You’re a very good uncle,” Teagan says, turning to him. “She must mean
the world to you.”

Trent looks down at Teagan. “She is the light of my life.”

“Is she what made you want to have a lot of kids?” Teagan happily asks.

“Yeah,” Trent replies with a smile. “If I could have ten of her, I would
be happy.”

“Well you should get started on that. You want ten kids and you’re 25.
You need to get started soon, or the mom is going to be eternally pregnant.”

Laughing, Trent says, “I am going to be pretty damn particular about who
the mother of my children will be.”

“Yeah, I’m in the same boat. I want to start having kids in my later
twenties. No dead beat dad for me. Of course, I need to get married first, but
my future husband
has to
want to have kids. I want like four of them.”

“Boys or girls?” Trent inquires with a smirk.

“Both. We need some boys in my family.”

“I want both, too,” Trent states.

“So, you can teach the boys how to fight?” Teagan laughs.

He shakes his head. “No, it all depends on what they want to do. I will
teach them the basics so they can properly defend themselves, especially the
girls.”

“Well, when I have little girls, I will have to send them your way,”
Teagan tells him.  Trent only laughs. Teagan looks at the picture of Kya.
“When did your brother find out?”

Trent gets really quiet and looks down. “The mother found out by testing
while she was still pregnant. It took a lot of….convincing….to keep her from
terminating the pregnancy.”

“That is awful!” Teagan exclaims.

Trent snorts and says, “When I researched about the syndrome I found out
over 90% of women will have an abortion.”

Teagan frowns, “I would never do that. Not in a million years. It may be
extra work, but I have found that people with developmental disabilities can be
some of the most loving people you will ever meet. That’s sad.”

“Some people can’t handle it,” Trent replies. “It doesn’t mean they are
bad people.”

“No, it doesn’t; I just couldn’t do that,” Teagan whispers. “So, how old
is she?”

“Five,” Trent sighs. “A handful. She is really starting to talk now.
Knows the word no.”

“Uh oh,” Teagan giggles. “That’s never good.”

Smirking, Trent shakes his head. “No, it’s not good at all.”

“Well, she’s very cute,” Teagan states, looking at the picture.

“She is,” Trent murmurs. “You should get started on your studying.”

“Ugh, I know,” Teagan groans.

“Would you like a juice box?” Trent teases.

“No, water will be just fine,” Teagan replies, giving him a playful look.

He winks at her and turns to leave the room. Teagan rolls her eyes and
goes back over to the couch. She sits down and takes out her books. Trent comes
walking back in a few minutes later with a bottle of water. “Here.”

“Thanks,” Teagan says. She exhales. “I’m not looking forward to this
test.”

“Well, I won’t interrupt you while you are studying,” Trent chirps,
sitting down next to her. “I will watch TV silently.”

“When do you want to order the pizza?” Teagan asks, opening up her book.
“I’m getting hungry.”

Trent pulls out his cell phone. “We can order it now. What do you like on
your pizza?”

“Anything and everything,” Teagan answers, pulling out her note cards.

“Anchovies?” Trent quips.

Teagan looks up at him appalled. “NO! Who really eats that!?”

“My dad,” Trent replies, grimacing. “We always had to order him a
separate pizza.”

“That’s seriously gross,” Teagan gags. “Really gross.”

“I know. I was only joking. So, a supreme pizza would be fine?”

“Sure,” Teagan says. Suddenly, her cell phone starts ringing. She looks
at the ID. “Uh oh,” she exhales.

“What?” Trent says, looking at her phone.

Sighing, Teagan declares, “It’s Isaac.”

“You don’t have to talk to him,” Trent whispers.

“I don’t want to,” Teagan replies, as she presses end. Setting her phone on
her lap, she exhales loudly. “I don’t even know what I would say to him.”

Trent frowns.  “I’m not really happy with him right now,” he says.
“I warned him, and he pushed himself on you anyway.”

“He didn’t know,” Teagan mumbles.

“Teagan, I wasn’t drunk last night,” Trent retorts. “You were giving
obvious signs that you wanted him to let you go. I saw you pushing.”

“Not very hard,” Teagan sighs, shaking the memory from her head. “I was
way too drunk. I never want to be that way again.”

 There is a moment of silence and then Trent whispers, “I wanted to
lay him out.”

“What!?” Teagan gasps. “Why?”

“Because, he pushed himself on you, even if it was just a kiss. You don’t
want guys to just kiss you without your permission.”

Teagan looks at him and smirks. “Oh really?”

“Yeah, really,” Trent snips.

“Like when I go to kiss a guy on the cheek, and he turns his head to kiss
me instead?” Teagan teases.

Instantly, Trent frowns, “I…oh jeez….I did it too.”

“Oh no!” Teagan exclaims. “It’s okay! I swear it’s okay that you did it!
I was only joking. If you had asked my permission, I would have told you it was
fine.”

“That’s no excuse,” Trent mumbles. 

Looking at him for a second, Teagan jumps forward and plants her lips on
Trent’s.  Trent jerks a little, but then kisses her back. Finally, Teagan
pulls away. “There, now I did it to you. We’re even.”

He looks back at her with intensity. Teagan can feel his breath hot on
her lips. It makes her want to kiss him again. She quickly sits down to flatten
that idea. Trent finally shakes his head. “I guess we are even. I would never
want to do anything that would make you uncomfortable.”

“I would tell you if you did,” Teagan replies. They sit there and stare
at each other for a minute. The feelings in Teagan are almost foreign. She has
never felt this big of a drive to kiss someone. Finally, she looks away. “I
should start studying.”

“I will…order…the pizza,” Trent stammers, dialing out on his phone.

As she starts to organize her study cards, Teagan listens to Trent make
the order.  When he hangs up, she can feel him staring at her. Teagan
doesn’t look up. Her phone whistles. She picks it up and groans.

“What?” Trent asks.

“It’s Isaac. He says he is sorry and just wants to talk.” Teagan pauses.
“I don’t think I can do that. I don’t know what I would
say.”             

“Isn’t he your friend?” Trent inquires.

“Of course,” Teagan replies.

Trent sighs, “You should probably talk to him.”

“I can’t do that,” Teagan states, shaking her head. “I can’t talk about
what happened.  He would push to find out.”

He takes her hand. “I’ll do it with you. He won’t push if I am there. I
can be pretty scary.”

Teagan smiles. “That is true. Fine, what about after class on Monday?”

“That’s perfect,” Trent says, loosening his grip on her hand.

She picks up her phone and texts Isaac,
I will talk to you. Meet you
at the coffee shop around 9 pm on Monday.

Isaac responds
. Are you okay?

I will talk to you Monday.

Okay…..

Teagan sighs and puts her phone down. “I’m not looking forward to that. I
have been so scared of people seeing that video or even knowing about it.”