Tears of Endurance (Romantic Drama) Book #1 (15 page)

Chapter twenty six

Brighton
was bustling with tourists and the atmosphere was highly charged with joy all around them. Over the last couple of days, they had dined in restaurants they’d missed on previous visits. They spent a whole day on the boat, fishing, swimming, and relaxing in the warm sun. They bonded in an extra special way, a way no one else could understand. They were connected by an invisible thread that would tie them together for eternity.

Charlie had been acting very strange over the last 24 hours. He was sullen and sad and would not leave Ben
’s side. He sat outside Ben’s bedroom door howling at three in the morning, preventing them all from sleeping.

The last day arrived far too soon. Tristan advised Ben and Arianna that he would be visiting friends for the day and night and would be back to pick them up the following morning. This was a deliberate act on his part. He wanted to give them the time to be alone and have some much-needed private time. Ben knew instantly, and slapped Tristan
’s back, thanking him as he headed out the door, leaving the two of them alone.

Arianna watched from the balcony as Tristan opened his car door below. Before he climbed in, he turned and looked up to the balcony, not expecting to see Arianna looking down at him. They locked eyes and smiled for the longest time before Tristan climbed into his car and drove off. Arianna felt a pull on her heart
; she was confused and could not make sense of her strong feeling of attachment towards Tristan. All she knew was that he had been her rock over the last several months and she would be forever grateful to him. They had spent so much time together over the last few months that Arianna had come to rely on Tristan a great deal without truly realising it.

She turned to Ben, who was standing behind her and looked into his weary eyes. She
’d noticed his steady decline over the last week and was unable to face her reality. She was going to miss him so much, she would give anything to change his fate.

“
Tristan is pretty remarkable, isn’t he?”

“
Yes he is, Ben, he’s been amazing these last few months.”

“
Arianna, when I’m gone, you will need Tristan. He will be there for you whenever you need him. And he will need you as much as you will need him. Help each other through this, stay close, and don’t drift apart. Our baby will need his uncle Tristan and you will need a good friend, okay?”

Arianna wasn
’t quite sure what Ben was trying to say. She heard his words but they did not compute, and there was something else in the way he was talking that she could not figure out.

“
Ben, please don’t worry, okay. Tristan and I are bonded for life now through you, through all of this and through our baby. We will always be close and there for one another, I promise you.”

Ben smiled and threw his arms around Arianna.
“I love you, and I did from the moment I laid eyes on you. I knew you were special.”

“
I love you too, Ben, I will always love you. Meeting you was the best thing that has ever happened to me. You taught me to trust in love again.”

They held each other for the longest time unable to prise themselves apart, not wanting to separate from one another. Charlie slowly walked up behind them and slipped in between them, nudging Ben
’s hand with his cold wet nose.

“
I love you too, Charlie, and don’t you ever forget it.”

The next 24 hours Arianna and Ben spent hours walking along
Brighton’s stony beach with Charlie. They ate fish and chips on the rocks down by the sea before heading back to the house. This, their last night in Brighton, they spent in bed, making love gently, exploring every inch of each other’s body as if for the last time. Tears flowed all night and few words were spoken. Words were not needed, and their eyes said it all. They finally fell asleep wrapped in each other’s arms.

Arianna was awakened by Charlie howling excruciatingly loud outside their bedroom door. She climbed out of bed very quietly, not wanting to disturb Ben. She opened the door but before she could step out, Charlie came bounding in and jumped on the bed, lying beside Ben, whining and licking his face.

“Charlie, no, don’t wake him. Come here, boy,” urged Arianna.

Charlie remained rooted to his spot, refusing to move and once again howling into the night. Arianna was confused, unsure of what was wrong with him. He was acting so strange and she
’d never seen him like this before. Then it hit her. Ben had not woken up. After all the commotion by Charlie, Ben was still and silent, he didn’t even stir, not a single twitch. Arianna bolted over to the bed. “Ben, Ben, wake up, Ben, please wake up,” she screamed, but to no avail. She shook him hard several times but nothing. He was gone.

“
Oh God noooo,” she screamed as she walked up and down the room in a daze, desperate, hurt and confused. She dialled Tristan’s number and left a message, begging him to come right away. She called 999 and then just lay down on the bed beside Ben with her arms wrapped securely around him.
I love you, Ben, I will always love you
, she sobbed. Charlie lay beside them both. He had quietened now and there was a sadness in his eyes. He knew Ben was gone, he’d known before anyone.

Chapter twenty seven

Tristan arrived at the holiday house within ten minutes. He walked through the door into pure silence. He slowly opened the bedroom door and saw Arianna crying uncontrollably, lying next to Ben. He walked over to her and sat down on the bed beside her.

“
Arianna, Arianna, look at me. It’s Tristan. Come on, you need to get up now, he’s gone, Arianna.” Arianna looked blankly into Tristan’s face. She was on auto pilot now, and following his instructions, she got up off the bed slowly and fell into Tristan’s arms. He held her tight and never wanted to let her go. He felt very protective of her and the baby, now more than ever. They cried together until the ambulance arrived. Tristan bent down and kissed his brother on the forehead before he was carried away. Tristan gathered all their belongings and Charlie and packed up the car. Then they followed the ambulance.

By five o
’clock in the morning, they were on the motorway heading back to Birmingham. After Ben was legally pronounced dead and issued with a death certificate, plans were finalised to have his body sent up to Birmingham. Arianna hadn’t spoken a word since Ben passed away; she had a glazed look in her eyes, a look of pure devastation. Tristan drove all the way back to Birmingham in silence, no music, and no conversation. He thought of all the things he’d done with Ben when they were kids, all the adventures they’d been on together, the dens they’d made from wood and plastic sheets at the bottom of their garden. He recalled all the scrapes that Ben got him out of with various women over the years and he placed a hand over his heart as the pain deepened for the loss of his brother, his only brother.

He was suddenly aware he was alone now
; he had no family left. He looked towards Arianna, who had fallen asleep, and then looked down to her stomach realising the importance of her baby, his nephew, his only family now. He reached for the blanket on the back seat and pulled it over Arianna, thoughts of his last serious conversation with Ben tormenting his mind.
What was he thinking, he must have been crazy. Arianna would never see me that way
. Tristan told himself he would never do anything to put his very close friendship with Arianna in jeopardy. He couldn’t bear it if she pulled away from him. He wanted to be there for her always and if that meant in a friendship capacity then so be it.

As they reached
Birmingham, Arianna slowly opened her eyes. She turned to Tristan and looked at him. “Thank you for everything, Tristan. I really don’t know how I would have managed without you. Please don’t take me home, can we go straight to Ben’s apartment, the two of us? I really don’t want to be alone, not tonight.”

“
Sure, if that’s what you want, we can go to Ben’s. I need to collect Charlie’s stuff anyway as he will be coming home with me. I will sleep on the sofa and you can have Ben’s room.”

“
That sounds perfect, Tristan, Thank you.” When they reached Ben’s apartment, Arianna climbed out of the car and slowly walked into the foyer of the building and waited for Tristan and Charlie. They caught the lift to the top and then they paused outside Ben’s door.

“
Are you okay, Arianna? You’re sure you want to stay here today?”

“
I’m sure, I need to, Tristan. I need to feel close to him.”

Tristan opened the door and they walked in, followed by Charlie who ran straight into Ben
’s bedroom, jumped onto the bed, and lay down. Tristan dropped the luggage in the hallway, made his way to the kitchen, and took out a bottle of wine from the fridge. “I hope you don’t mind, Arianna, but I need a drink.”

Arianna looked at the bottle of wine and single glass in Tristan
’s hand. “You can get another glass for me, Tristan, please.”

“
I don’t think so. I know how much you must want one right now, Arianna, but the baby?”

“
One glass of wine won’t hurt the baby, Tristan. Now please, pour me a glass of wine.” Tristan reluctantly poured Arianna a small glass of wine and then a large for himself. They sat down on the sofa and looked around Ben’s apartment. He was everywhere they looked. “What am I going to do now, Tristan? How am I going to do this?” She held onto her stomach and looked down.

“
You’re not alone, Arianna, you won’t be doing this alone. I will be with you every step of the way, day or night. Please don’t worry. You are not going to go through this by yourself. We are going to do this together and greet baby Ben into this world with a big smile, do you hear me, Arianna? Ben lives on inside of you, Arianna, you are carrying a part of Ben that will live on for many years.”

Tristan turned away from Arianna, not wanting her to notice his tear-filled eyes.
“Tristan, will you be my birthing partner? I know Ben would have wanted that.”

Tristan turned to face Arianna and hugged her tight.
“It would be a great honour, Arianna, thank you.”

They finished their wine and Arianna, leaving Tristan to his thoughts in the lounge, made her way to Ben
’s room and shut the door behind her. She picked up Ben’s sweater, which had been thrown haphazardly on the end of his bed the day they left for Brighton. She held it close to her heart, the smell of his aftershave reducing her to tears. She cried until she could cry no more, finally falling into a deep sleep, still holding on to his sweatshirt.

Tristan awakened with a start from a dream filled with Ben. He was shaken and walked to the bathroom to splash his face with cool water. He recalled snippets of his dream. Ben standing before him, smiling.
Remember what I said, Tristan
. He could still hear the words in his head. Tristan turned on the coffee machine and then peeked around Ben’s door to check on Arianna. She was still asleep, holding onto Ben’s shirt, Charlie was awake with his paws resting on her legs protectively. “Come on, Charlie, let’s take you for a walk.”

Chapter twenty eight

Three months had passed by since Ben’s passing. The funeral had been held to Ben’s exact instructions. The day of the funeral was particularly hard on Arianna as her emotions were all over the place, from the loss of Ben and her pregnancy hormones running amok through her entire body, totally confusing her. Lisa, Ben’s secretary, had been a tremendous help to both Tristan and Arianna with the funeral arrangements. She was devastated at the loss of her boss and dear friend and following the funeral, an immediate bond formed between Arianna and Lisa, a life-long bond that would tie their ever-growing friendship together securely.

Ben wanted his ashes scattered out at sea in
Brighton. He left exact details, informing them both he wanted Tristan to hire a boat and take it to their usual fishing spot. Tristan and Arianna decided to wait until baby Ben was born so the three of them could all go together, and Charlie of course.

Arianna had become a little withdrawn over the months
; she displayed a permanent look of grave sadness upon her face. Tristan remained strong for her as she was spending far too much time alone these days and he was very worried about her. She had become so quiet, lost in the depths of her mourning, that she was shutting people out, the people that loved her and cared for her. Arianna’s mother was beside herself with worry as she just couldn’t get through to her. Casey was especially persistent and making herself ever present, whether Arianna wanted her to or not. Everyone knew she was heartbroken; the longing inside her for Ben was obvious to all who knew her.

Tristan knew Arianna was dealing with the loss of Ben in her own way, everyone mourns in their own unique way. A way that
’s best for them, a way that only they can deal with. Losing your love and the father of your unborn baby is unimaginable to most, but this was Arianna’s reality now and one she was struggling to cope with. There are no magic pills to take away the pain, no quick fix to heal your broken heart. Your heart and soul needs to go through the healing process in its own unique way, without time limits and pressures.

She spent a lot of time taking Charlie for walks down by the canal, like she and Ben used to. She felt at peace there
; she would sit on the bench while Charlie chased the ducks, and remember that once she truly had found perfect happiness, even if it was just for a while. A love so real, so pure and so perfect. Arianna tried to remind herself that many people never find what she had found with Ben in their entire lifetime and that she was lucky to have shared the little time they had together.