Tears of Tess (3 page)

The
air-hostess arrived at our row, beaming. “Chicken casserole or beef stir-fry?”

Both
sounded woefully unappealing, but I said, “Chicken, please.”

Brax
ordered the beef, and silence reigned while we ate. Whenever I thought about
arriving at the hotel, a mini montage took over. The movie played in my mind: kissing
him, then pouncing with need. Brax would push up my skirt and claim me in front
of wide-eyed guests.
My libido has left the realm of normalcy.

Flutters
wouldn’t stop in the darkest part of my belly. The knowledge that I’d finally confess
what I needed sexually, terrified and thrilled me.

Brax
smiled, chewing a piece of broccoli. “What are you thinking about? You’re
wearing that stunned tuna look of yours.”

Oh,
nothing, sweetie. Just fantasizing about you pinning my wrists and taking me
hard.
He’d probably throw himself out the
plane. I was the one twisting our relationship.
I
was the one who
changed.

Change,
to Brax, was
not
a good thing.

I
dropped my gaze, shoving a piece of dried chicken around. “I was thinking how
much I love you, and how I can’t wait to be in bed. Alone.”

His
face softened, looking so handsome in the dim interior lights. The glow
highlighted his smooth jaw, blue eyes, and floppy brown hair. His strong arms
and stocky frame screamed builder. Hell, I loved how he stood so big and
strong. He could dominate me so easily… but never did. He treated me like
glass. Special cut-crystal—placed me on a pedestal where I had to shine and
remain dust free and perfect.

He
pressed his forehead against mine. “I love you, too. I’m so happy we’re
spending this time together.” He pushed his meal away, or as much as he could
on the tiny tray-table, and awkwardly reached into a pocket. “I have a present
for you. To remind you of this amazing holiday.”

I
couldn’t breathe. My tongue turned into a brick and saliva morphed into mortar.

He
dropped a black velvet box into my lap then rubbed the back of his neck. “I
know we’ve been together for two years, and I love you with all my heart, Tess.
But each year I spend with you, I grow more and more nervous I’m going to lose
you.”

Suddenly,
the cabin stifled with old demons from our pasts, haunting us. I leaned over,
kissing his lips gently, just the way he liked. My heart hurt for him. Would he
ever get over losing his parents? The doctors said his night-terrors would stop
eventually, but it’d been six years since his folks died, and he still couldn’t
fall asleep without pills.

I
whispered, “You will never lose me, Brax. Never. I swear it.” I kissed him
again and his lips opened under mine. His tongue flicked out and licked my
lower lip, sending heat shooting like little stars.

I
moaned and pressed harder, opening wider, forcing more intensity.

He
pulled back, smirking shyly. His eyes darted around the cabin as if we’d be
reprimanded by the flight attendants.

I
murmured, “Can I open it now?”

His
face flashed with confusion. “What?”

Feminine
satisfaction swelled, I’d distracted him enough with a kiss that he’d
forgotten. “The gift. Can I open it now, or wait till we get to the hotel?”
Boldness sizzled and I whispered, “Because I have a present for you, too, but you
have to wait till we arrive.” My voice, layered with husky welcome, caused his
nostrils to flare.

“Y—you
can open it now.”

I
grinned, grabbing the box, happier than I’d been for a while. Brax was
responding. Captive audience, I supposed.

I
cracked open the box; my heart flurried.  “Brax, it’s… gorgeous.”

“You
like it?” His voice heightened to boyish delight as he plucked the bracelet
from its cage of velvet.

“I
don’t like it. I love it.” I placed the box on my lap, holding out a wrist. I
couldn’t tear my eyes off the dainty silver jewellery. It symbolized us: gentle
love hearts entwined with silver strands, the occasional glint of diamonds at
the centre of each heart.

Brax’s
fingertips grazed the underside of my wrist, securing the clasp. I shivered,
sucking in a shaky breath.

“Tess
… I—”

Tension
blossomed between us, like a fast unfurling flower, and I ached. Ached for him.
Ached for connection. Ached for his body inside mine. Something hot seared in
our gaze, and Brax clenched his jaw.

He
dropped his eyes, breaking the spell.

Pretending
nothing happened, I rested my head on his shoulder, inspecting my new bracelet.
“I’ll never take it off.”

He
sighed, snuggling closer, kissing the top of my head. “I don’t want you to.
It’s yours forever. Just like me.”

I
inhaled sharply, breathing in his soft apple scent from our shared body wash.
Would he ever stop making me hurt and heal at the same time?

“Forever,”
I whispered and closed my eyes.

*
* * * *

The
next time I awoke, tyres bounced on the runway, and in a foggy haze, we
disembarked. The airport was manic, even at one in the morning, and we let the
sea of passengers guide us through immigration and processing.

By
the time we headed outside to the awaiting taxis, my scratchy eyes felt like a
cat had mistaken them for cat-nip, and my mind was cotton wool.

I
let Brax lead the way, following obediently while he searched for our driver to
the hotel.

“Stay
here. I’m going to ask at the info desk. The hotel should’ve arranged a shuttle
for us.”

He
parked the suitcases by the curb, and I took his laptop satchel, blocking it
with my feet. I plonked on top of one of the cases. “No problem. I’ll guard the
bags.”

He
caressed my cheek. “I’ll be right back.”

I
smiled, capturing his hand as he pulled away. “I’ll miss you till then.”

With
a grin, he turned and headed the way we’d come. I admired his fine butt in his
baggy jeans. Just once, I’d love to see him in a nice suit, or at least some
fitted trousers. No matter how many compliments I rained on him, Brax acted
forever self-conscious. Silly man. He didn’t see the way other women looked at
him, but I did. My claws unsheathed every time.

Ten
minutes passed, while I sat in the little oasis our bags created, and my nerves
steadily grew. Mexico was loud, boisterous, and the air hung heavy and wet with
humidity. We were used to the heat in Australia, but that was dry heat. The
moisture saturated my clothes, turning my curly hair limp.

“Excuse
me,
señorita.
”

I
twisted on the case, looking behind me. A good-looking Mexican man took off a
baseball cap, bowing slightly. His black eyes assessed, making me squirm on the
inside.

“Yes?”
I asked, standing upright, looking for Brax out the corner of my eye. Where the
hell was he?

“I
wondered if you were here on your own? Do you need a lift somewhere? I have a
taxi. I can take you wherever you need to go.”

A
wide smile showed stained teeth and skin crinkled around his eyes in a friendly
way. My instincts didn’t flare into panic mode; I relaxed a little. “No,
thanks. I’m here with my boyfri—”

“Tess?”
Brax appeared like an apparition, glaring at the man. “Can I help you?”

The
man backed up, putting his baseball cap on. “Not at all,
señor
. Just
wanting to make sure such a pretty girl stays safe. This city is not good for
women left alone.”

Brax
puffed his chest, dragging me toward him. My eyes widened as his arm clenched around
my shoulders. “She’s safe. Thanks for your concern.” He turned to me,
dismissing the man entirely. “I’ve found the shuttle, you ready to go?”

I
nodded, looking to where the man had been, but he’d disappeared—swallowed by
the heaving crowd. I bit my lip; just how safe
was
this country? I’d
heard the horror stories, as well as the great regales. Either way, I wouldn’t
be letting Brax out of my sight again. I wasn’t stupid enough to think nothing
could harm me. 

Dragging
our suitcases, we made it to the shuttle bus, and spent the next forty-five
minutes bouncing and swerving on Mexican roads. The traffic was psychotic—an
accident begging to happen—and my heart remained in my throat most of the way.
Traffic lights meant nothing, and scooters were given right of way. Pedestrians
and cyclists threaded like a massive, living organism at two in the morning. If
it was this crazy now, what the hell was it like during normal hours?

It
seemed life never slept here. Every bar we passed, pumping with Salsa dancers
and spicy tunes, dispelled my sleepiness. I wanted to dance, to rub against
Brax, to drink yummy cocktails, and enjoy ourselves.

I
immediately loved Mexico.

I’d
gone my whole life thinking I was timid, brow-beaten, and unwanted by my
family, only to find I was a lust-filled dancer, with so many dark desires.
This trip would allow me to inspect who I truly was, to be honest, and find the
real me. To stop being Tess, the girl who hadn’t stood up for anything in her
life—the girl who morphed into what others wanted—and evolve
. I’ll find the
true Tess
. My stomach twisted. What if the real me wasn’t worthy of Brax?

We
pulled up to a sweeping resort with huge carvings of sombreros and tropical
fruit. A fountain jetted water so high, it almost touched the three story
ceiling.

A
bellhop took our luggage and Brax checked us in. I wandered in bliss and
wonderment. The resort was a living jungle: palm trees, ferns, and exoticness
in every corner.

I
thrummed with anticipation. I didn’t care we’d been awake for twenty-four
hours. I wanted to explore and walk along the beach I heard in the distance.
The soft slap of waves on sand enticed skinny-dipping and making love under the
moonlight.  

Arms
banded around my waist, pulling me backward. I gasped, landing against hard
muscle and wrinkled clothing. Brax kissed my collarbone; I shuddered. “Ready
for bed, hun?”

Oh,
yes, I was definitely ready for bed. More than ready.

I
nodded breathlessly.

Brax
swivelled me in his arms, taking my luggage at the same time. A bellhop stood
behind, smiling indulgently. “Please, go ahead. I’ll bring your bags.”

We
entered the lift, and the bellhop squeezed in, too. The mirrored interior
reflected in every direction. My hair was a tangled bird’s nest, my sheer
blouse crumbled and ready for a wash, and my grey-blue eyes sparkled with lust
and love.

I
hoped Brax saw what twinkled in my soul. How much I cared for him.  

His
blue eyes were warm and content as we disembarked the lift, making our way to
our room. The corridor was a wide balcony, open-air with huge potted ferns and
little cosy seats arranged for privacy.

“This
one, if you please, sir,” the bellhop said, pointing to a door as we walked.

Brax
grinned and inserted the key card. Once he placed the card in the little holder
by the door, soft light illuminated. I moved forward in a trance.

The
room was perfect Mexican décor of carved wood and bright paintings, the
bedspread was a fiesta of colours and textures. Hand woven rugs in purples,
reds, and yellows littered the hardwood floor.

I
squealed in childhood amazement and dashed to the balcony. The gloom of
darkness whispered magically as I listened to the waves hissing on the shore. 

Heaven.
I’m in heaven.

Brax
tipped the bellhop and closed the door. I twisted to face him, breathing
accelerated. We were finally alone after a crazy long journey.

My
new bracelet tinkled, overflowing my heart with joy. I stepped toward him. Brax
held out his arms, looking tired but happy.

Fitting
me into his embrace perfectly, he rested his chin on my head. “Sorry I couldn’t
afford five stars, Tessie.”

My
eyes widened. We were in the middle of a dream and he worried he couldn’t give
me more. Couldn’t he see this was perfect?

I
didn’t respond. Instead, I captured his face in my hands. He froze, staring
deep into my eyes. I sent messages of hunger and hot swirling need. I wanted to
crawl inside his soul and light a fire to match the flames licking me.

I
kissed him.

Brax
tilted his head, allowing my tongue to slink between his lips, but he didn’t
gather me closer.
Come on. Please, need me, too.

I
kissed harder, pressing against him with an urgency growing out of control. I
was too hot. I needed him too much, for far too long. I should’ve spoken
sooner—told him how badly I needed to be possessed. For months, I felt cast
adrift, like he was no longer my anchor. I needed him to remind me I belonged
to him, just like he belonged to me. 

Brax
chuckled beneath my kisses, twisting his lips. “What’s got into you, Tess? You
can’t keep your hands off me.”