Tears on My Pillow 2 (10 page)

February 10
th
, 2014

Monday

Jakari

                   I'm on my way to work this morning feeling good. Qia and I had a fabulous quiet weekend. It almost seemed like old times. We cuddled and hung out with each other, and had as little contact as possible with the outside world. Just the way I like it, just like it used to be. Shit, we must have had sex like ten times between Saturday and Sunday. We just couldn’t get enough of each other.

                   This quiet weekend also gave me time to figure out what I am going to do about Anjela. I know that I don't have much time to act because she is already at the ‘I don't give a fuck’ stage. When I get to work, I am going to send her a text and see where her head is. All of the close spots are, of course, gone on a cold day like this, so I pull into a parking spot much further away from the entrance than I would like. I can’t wait until I get tenure, so I can get my own spot and not have to circle the lot like a freshman. I soak up a few more seconds of heat before shutting my car off. I lean over to grab my gloves off of the seat when I notice Kelly sitting in the car next to me.

                   She is sitting there staring at me and my mind immediately goes back to the head she gave me in Jamaica. I give her a slight smile and she smiles back. She gets out of her car and comes over to my passenger side door. I unlock the door, and she sits down inside the car and closes the door. “Heeeyyy,” she says in that irritating little girl voice that she does.

                   “What is your problem? Why did you take that picture of my wife and my brother, and insinuate that he's fucking her?” I glare at her, waiting for a response.

                   She raises her shoulder up so it meets her cheek “I don't know. I miss you and I knew that would get your attention.”

                   I really want to cuss her ghetto trifling ass out right now, but I need to see if I still got it. Lately, I have been feeling like I may be losing my touch. I brush up a piece of hair from her bang that is caught on her fake eyelashes and lick my lips. “So, you been missing me or the dick?” I ask seductively.

                    “Well, if I am being honest, mostly the dick,” she says, biting down on the corner of her pink colored bottom lip.

                   “Then show me how much you've missed it.” I remove my seat-belt. I unbuckle my belt and unbutton my dress pants.

                   Without hesitation she leans over, pulls my soft member out of my pants, and puts it in her mouth. After it starts to harden, she pulls it out of her mouth and allows a drop of saliva to fall out of her mouth onto my helmet. She takes her thumb and begins to rub her saliva all over the tip of my dick.

                   I lean my seat back so I can relax and enjoy every second of this. I watch my hardening dick disappear into her wet and warm mouth. I watch as her full lips stretch to capacity as she swallows me down to my shaft. I close my eyes as her head goes up and down. She begins to massage my balls. “Ummm, deep throat that shit,” I groan.

                   She swirls her tongue around my dick and increases the suction she has with her mouth. “Damn...ah...shit...keep doing that shit.”

                   She increases her speed and I feel my dick hitting the back of her throat. My balls tighten as I get ready to nut. I start thrusting my hips and fucking her face back as she continues to devour my rod. I grab the back of her head as my seed begins to shoot down the back of her throat. She sucks every bit of cum out of me. She continues to suck and my right leg begins to tremble a little. “Fuck!” I yell from the intensity of my orgasm.

                   She takes my softening dick out of her mouth and begins to stroke it again as she softly and sensually sucks on my balls. She is staring into my eyes as she does this. I can tell she wants me to fuck her but it ain't gonna happen. I see and feel my dick growing again. “You like that, huh?” Kelly says, attempting to talk shit.

                   “Just shut up and continue to suck this dick.” Kelly does exactly as I tell her and it doesn't take long for me to nut again.

                   She sits up, licking her lips. “I missed tasting you like that.”

                   “Yeah, I bet you have but don't get to use to it,” I say just to piss her off.

                   “Jakari, what do you want from me?” she asks, clearly upset.

                   “Nothing.”

                   “So, I guess you gonna just stop talking to me again?” Her eyes are welling up with tears.

                   “Maybe.”

                   “What the fuck does Azia have that I don't, Jakari? Why are you still seeing her but you treat me like this?”

                   “See, that's your fucking problem. You worry too much about what I am doing with other people. You don't know if I am fucking with Azia still or not. Shit like this is why I left you in the dust. I have to get to class, so you’re excused.”  

                   I raise up in my seat a little, tuck my dress shirt back in, and zip up and button my pants. I buckle my belt back. Then, I sit my seat up and glance in the rear-view mirror to check my face. I look over at Kelly, like bitch, you still here. I guess she gets the hint, so she opens the door and gets out. I grab my briefcase and step out the car. I lock my doors and damn near jog into the building, dress shoes and all. I can't wait until summer comes.

February 10
th
, 2014

Monday

Qimora

                   I am so happy to have my sister back and see her starting to do more for herself, so when she called and asked me to give her a ride to pick up a rental car, I made myself available. I am overjoyed to see her getting out more. Ever since her accident, she has been hanging out more and doing things independently of Jakari. I love their relationship and all, but he does keep her up under him. Hell, this is the most she’s really been around, without him, in I don’t know how long. Usually, we end up just talking on the phone, and texting back and forth all day. I guess some good did come out of her accident, at least.

                   Qia is up at the counter trying to secure a rental car from Enterprise. I am sitting here waiting and playing around on my phone until she’s done. I just want to make sure she is all set before I take off, the idea of her driving makes me a little nervous. As I am scrolling down my Twitter feed, I get a text from Qisha. I swipe down my notification menu and tap on her text.

Can you give me a ride to work?

What’s wrong with your car?

                   I text back, even though, I already ready know the answer is going to start with Darrin.

Damn, Qimora! Ride or nah?

What time? Because I have a few things lined up this morning.

2pm.

                   I take a moment to run my morning itinerary through my head before I respond.

Be ready at 1pm.

What about 1:30pm?

Again... where’s your car?

                   I hate when people need you to do something but want you to do it at their convenience. “Not today missy, not today!” I say under my breath. Being the big sister never ends.

Fine be like that, 1 it is

Seriously, what is going on with your car?

If you must know, Darrin flattened my tires.

SMH. Dafuq?? Qisha love, when will you be tired?

You’ll be the first to know when I am!

                   I can tell that I have ticked her off but honestly, I don’t care. Darrin’s ass needs to go. She doesn’t have any kids with him or anything. Honestly, even kids wouldn’t be enough of a reason to put up with his BS but damn, at least it would be SOME reason.

I’m sorry but I just hate how he treats you.

                   I look up towards the counter and I see Qia is signing some paperwork, so I guess the car rental is going okay. I look back at my phone to see if Qisha has text me back but she hasn’t.

Qisha, I only get upset because I love you.

                   I wait a couple more minutes and then put my phone to sleep because apparently, Qisha isn’t going to text me back. I will just talk to her when I pick her up for work. I don’t know why that girl continues to put up with his shit. He cheats, he disrespects her, and certainly takes her for granted, but she still stays. He is one of the main reasons why my ass is single. I’m not the one who is going to entertain that type of bullshit. I swear, my baby sister makes me want to strangle her sometimes. I hear a notification from my phone and take it back out of my purse.

I love you too Qim. Witcho big ole head 

                   I shake my head and smile, just as Qia turns around and folds up the papers she has in her hands and shoves them down in her purse. She begins to follow behind the customer service agent. “Hey, what’s up?” I call over to her.

                   “Going to inspect the car. You can take off if you need to.”

                   “Okay, I have some things to take care of. Call me later,” I say and I catch up to her as she holds the door open for me.

                   “I will. Thank you,” she says and darts off in the direction the gentleman she is working with went.

                   “You’re welcome Hun,” I say back.

February 10
th
, 2014

Monday

Qia

                   Yes! I am so happy that I thought to finally get a damn rental car. I am tired of relying on everyone to give me rides, like I’m sixteen. It’s not like I forgot how to damn drive. Jakari always claims that he is going to bring me, but every time I bring it up, he comes up with some weak ass excuse why it needs to be put off. I finally realized that he is enjoying me not having the independence that comes with having your own vehicle when the insurance company called my phone looking for him. I began asking questions and the agent informed me that it was taking so long because Jakari hadn’t contacted them and faxed in some necessary paperwork. I was shocked and pissed when I found that out, but I asked about a rental car and she provided me with the info I needed to get one. So, here I am, sitting in this black Jeep Liberty, which really isn’t my style, but it will certainly do for now.

                   His ass is going to be shocked when he sees that I’ve gotten my own transportation. Maybe that will help him get his shit together, call the insurance company back, and provide them with what they need so my car can get replaced. If not, then he will just have to continue paying for this rental. I can’t believe how sneaky he is. My thoughts are interrupted when I hear my phone ringing. I dig down in my purse and pull out my phone, and see that Qimora is calling me. “Hey Qim. Everything okay?” I ask, concerned because she just left me.

                   “Hey, boo. Yeah, everything’s good. I just remembered that I wanted to tell you that I mentioned to a guy friend of mine about you losing all the pics that were on your phone.”

                   “Why did you do that?” I ask, a tad irritated that she was telling people I didn’t know, my business.

                   “Girl, calm down and listen. I didn’t tell him how they got erased! I only brought it up to him because he is an iPhone junkie, and I thought maybe he could help. He said that if you had backed up your info to iCloud, you can get the pics back!” She tells me, sounding really excited.

                   “Oh! Thank you! I will try that. I am not sure if I backed anything up before, but it won’t hurt to try. Thanks so much!”

                   “No problem. He said you will need to go under your settings or something like that. Doesn’t Jakari have an iPhone?”

                   “Ummm hmmm. He sure does. Well, let me go, I have an appointment.”

                    “Ok, bye,” she says and ends the call.

                   It seems like every day, I find out more and more stuff Jakari has failed to mention. The way he acts, it’s almost like he doesn’t want me to remember things that happened before my accident. Why wouldn’t he have suggested that I check the cloud for a backup? I shake my head and laugh. Another surprise I’ll have for him if I did happen to back up my pics to iCloud. I pull out of the Enterprise parking lot on Boston Road and head home.

                   In the past few days, I have recovered so many things that have escaped me. So many memories are slowly coming back. I remember people’s phone numbers now, dating Jakari, my prom, our honeymoon, meeting Tiffani, and I have even started to remember some parts of the New Year’s Eve party that we had. I haven’t mentioned anything about it to Jakari because he seems to be keeping me in the dark on purpose, so I will do the same to him. I swear if my pussy didn’t quiver every time he is close to me, I would go and stay with Chandler or Qimora. I don’t want to say anything to anyone but I often question my love for Jakari. The more I regain my memories, the more I feel like I love him because that is what he and everyone else tells me I should be doing. I do love him, but I’m just not sure that I am in love with him the way a wife should be in love with her husband. And we’re still newlyweds. Maybe I’m just over-thinking it. I just want it all to be like it was before my accident.
Now all I have to do is actually remember how it was
, I think, shaking my head.

     From the things that I do remember, I feel like I haven’t experienced anything except Jakari. He was my only boyfriend, he is the first and only person I have ever had sex with, and he is only the second person I have ever kissed. I mean, I feel like I haven’t really had a life, outside of him. I’ve been trying to answer for myself why I feel sort of empty and disconnected from a man that I have been with for over twelve years. I also need to figure out why sometimes, I feel so much rage towards him that I can’t see straight. For some reason, I think
Blue roses
... I just shake my head; I hate blue roses.

                   I am hoping that I did back up my pics and stuff to the iCloud. Maybe those things will help fill in the missing pieces for me. I need something to help me gain back my connection with Jakari or explain to me why I feel like we don’t have one if we aren’t fucking. But damn, when we are, nothing else matters!!

                   I unlock the door to the house, kick off my shoes at the front door and go into my office, the soft carpet feeling great under my feet. I sit down behind the desk and power on my desktop. I’m really not sure how to back up my phone so I Google the steps. The directions are sort of a pain in the ass but I manage to get through it. It seems like a hundred steps, but when I finally get to the last step and see that I do have information stored in the cloud, I realize it is all worth it. I select the device I want to back up from. I lay the phone on my desk while it goes through the process of restoring the information from my previous phone. I get butterflies in my stomach as I run the fact through my mind that I am going to have all my pics, videos, and text messages back. Maybe then, I can feel a little more like the old Qia, whoever she is. I giggle a little as I lean back in my chair and patiently wait for the backup to be complete. Thank you, Mr. Jobs.

    Once it finishes, maybe I’ll call Qisha and see if she wants to go grab a drink with me. It’s been a productive day; I feel like celebrating!