Tekgrrl (19 page)

“Wow,” I said, my voice thick and almost unrecognizable. “That was…” I trailed off as I noticed him looking over my shoulder. I turned to see Kate standing there, mouth hanging open, staring at both of us. She shook her head as if to make sure we weren’t a mirage; then, when we didn’t go away, she turned and walked off as fast as she could.

I glanced to Paul. Cold reality was setting back in, slapping down my tingling nerve endings and telling them to shut up. This was freaking Paul I was with, not Luke, and not even some random hottie at a bar. In my normal voice I said, “That was all for her benefit, wasn’t it?”

He seemed to be at a loss for words. Then he nodded and cleared his throat. “Initially, yes.”

“Initially?”

“W-well, I saw her there and thought I’d show her I was moving on, but…you distracted me.”

“I distracted you how?”

“You just…you have nice soft lips.” Was it my imagination, or was he turning red? “I mean, you’re a good kisser,” he finished lamely. His eyes darted around the room, like he didn’t want to look at me.

“Um, thanks.” I didn’t especially want to see him, either. Embarrassment was no fun for either party. “You, too, by the way.”

“Thanks.”

“I wouldn’t have expected it.” I didn’t know if I meant the kiss itself, his kissing ability, or my reaction.

“Me, either.”

I glanced up. He looked just as awkward as I felt. He fidgeted, didn’t seem to know what to do with his hands or where to look.

“I think I’m just going to go before this gets any more uncomfortable,” he finished.

“Okay.”

“So…yeah.” He straightened his suit jacket and headed toward the door. I stood where I was, watching him, unable to come to terms with what had just happened. Maybe my mind had snapped when the blocks came off and I’d hallucinated those last few moments.

The door had barely shut behind him before it opened again and he returned, striding with purpose, his mouth narrowed to a thin line of determination. He walked right up to me, seized my waist with his hands and pulled me in for another breath-stealing kiss.

All my nerve endings crashed to life again in a huge wave of intensity. My brain might have been confused as to how a person that I barely considered a friend under normal circumstances could make my insides melt, but other parts of me decided to override my brain. I wrapped my arms around his neck and deepened the kiss, tangling my tongue with his. One of his hands pressed into my back, pulling me tight against him, and the other got lost in my hair. The kiss was messy and imprecise, but it was full of heat and intensity.

We drew back from each other gasping for air. I leaned a hand on the table to steady myself and dared to meet his eyes. They were dark blue, unfathomable with some expression I wasn’t used to seeing. I looked away.

“You’re not going to tell anyone about this, are you?” he asked hesitantly.

“God, no!” I responded automatically, then realized I sounded disgusted when I felt the exact opposite. I softened my tone. “I mean, I don’t even know what ‘this’ is.”

“Yeah. Me either.” He was switching back to being uncomfortable again. “So, I’ll just…” He motioned to the door and I nodded. He turned and left without another word.

Waiting until he was gone for good this time, I sagged down onto a chair. The day had just become even more physically and mentally exhausting. And a lot more confusing.

Sleep came to me, but in restless fits and with vague nightmares, whispers in the dark of monsters hiding in shadow. When I finally gave up and decided to rise the next morning, I felt like I had barely slept at all.

As I sat up in bed, yawning, stretching and trying to get my limbs to work, it occurred to me that Paul had shown up at some point in my endless stretch of alternately strange and terrifying dreams. That realization alone was enough to make me feel awkward, never mind the nightmares. What had happened between us yesterday? Was it emotional fallout from my rediscovered past, me reaching out for someone, anyone, for comfort? Had Paul really been trying to make Kate jealous and simply got a little too into his role? Or was this something else entirely that neither of us were prepared to handle?

I brushed such thoughts aside and pushed myself up and out of bed. There was nothing between me and Paul, of all people. We had both been suffering from personal and team crises and had shared a weak moment. That was all. I would get up today and our relationship would be strictly professional.

Maybe it was in reaction to my memories, a defense mechanism to once again rebel, to hide the pain even from myself, or perhaps it was in reaction to the weirdness with Paul, but I found myself pulling out an old and pleated black miniskirt and knee-high boots. I added a soft blue sweater that made my eyes stand out but was also a bit conservative. It was a mix of the old and new me.

Satisfied, I headed outside of my room and about ran into Kate, who seemed to be lying in wait.

I took a step back. “Kate. Hi. What’s up?”

Even though she was dressed as usual to the nines, in a bright red silk kimono dress with matching lipstick, she looked a little less like herself. There was something hiding in her eyes, a sadness or pain that seemed to permeate her aura. Today she seemed tired and ancient and trying to hide it.

“Hello, Mindy,” she said, and gave me a smile that didn’t quite reach her eyes. Had Paul’s jab really worked? “I just wanted to speak with you in private for a moment.”

“Sure.” I gestured around the silent corridor. No one was close. “Go ahead.”

“I just wanted to say that I know I wasn’t a good girlfriend for Paul,” she remarked. The words hit me like a blunt object. “And I’m happy he’s moving on.”

“Uh-huh…” I didn’t know what to say. After all, making Kate jealous was the whole point of Paul kissing me. Should I admit to the truth and undo the whole thing?

Kate continued: “I don’t want you to feel awkward around me at all. We’re grown-ups here. After all, this isn’t the first time one of my exes has moved on to someone else on the team.”

“Uh-huh,” I said. It was amazing how Kate could somehow turn the fact that she’d had so many exes into bragging. Only Kate.

“And I couldn’t be happier for you and Paul,” she continued, giving me a friendly pat on the shoulder.

I grimaced. This was going too far. Paul could just deal with the fallout. “Kate, I’ve got to be honest. There is no me and Paul.”

“So it’s all about the sex.” Seeing the shocked look on my face, she added quickly, “Oh, it’s okay, I understand completely. You both have needs and this is a stressful job. And after everything you’ve been through, Mindy, I can understand that you might need a release, someone in your bed to chase away those nightmares. Trust me, you live long enough, you find you always can use a distraction. And Paul might look like just another boring, staid academic type, but he’s something else in the bedroom, am I right?”

She said the last in a joking,
we’re all girls here
tone, like we were characters on that sitcom about overly sexed women, which was about the last thing I wanted to hear this morning.

“No, Kate. No, no, no.” I rubbed my brow, already starting to feel the beginnings of a headache coming on. This was too much, too early, and without coffee.

She misunderstood my dismay. “Oh, well, Mindy, you know sometimes men in their forties need a bit of help getting started. There are pills for that.”

“Jesus, no!” I practically shrieked. “There is no me and Paul, sexually or otherwise. We’re just coworkers, that’s all.
Coworkers.
What you saw was a total mistake.”

She studied me for a moment, then grinned and winked. “Oh, don’t worry, Mindy. I won’t say a thing to the others. I’ll keep my big mouth shut for a change. I know I’ve gotten a reputation around here for being a blabbermouth, but I can keep a secret.”

I gave up. “Thanks, Kate.” Paul wanted her to believe he had moved on, so as long as she didn’t blab to the others, he could be the one to try to explain things to her. “I really don’t want anyone to know about the incident you witnessed.”

She smiled. “I won’t say anything for now, Mindy.”

“What’s that supposed to mean?” I practically shrieked. I knew it! Kate was such a blabbermouth; she was probably going to want cappuccinos and shoes to buy her silence.

“It’s going to start becoming apparent to everyone that you two are involved,” she explained.

“What are you talking about?” I said, but then shut my mouth as Paul appeared. “Hi!” I squeaked in an overly bright tone.

“Mindy.” He barely gave me a glance. So much for chemistry. It was like yesterday had never happened. “I need to speak with you a moment.”

“I’m sure you do.” Kate winked at me, then looked down at the delicate watch on her wrist. “I should go get ready; I have an interview with one of those entertainment gossip shows.”

“I canceled that,” Paul said.

She whirled on him, mouth twisted into a frown. “What? Why did you do that?”

“We need to regroup and figure out what we’re going to say to the media as a team. All press contact is on hiatus.”

“It was the cover story!”

“There will be other cover stories. And you were on the cover of every major magazine in February. How much more publicity do you need, Kate?”

She gave him a nasty look. “I’m going to see what Wesley says about this.” Then she sauntered off down the hall like a runway model; and why not? She probably inspired their signature walks anyway.

Paul nodded to me. “See? It’s what I said. My words carry no weight.”

“I think that her reaction is more personal than professional,” I said. “She’s trying to stick it to you like you did her.” Realizing too late how that sounded, I stammered, “I-I mean…”

“I know what you meant.” He looked off in the direction Kate had walked, then back at me. “I was coming to see you, actually. I wanted to talk. It’s about yesterday.”

“Kate thinks we’re having an affair,” I blurted. “I tried to tell her we’re not, but she wouldn’t believe me.”

“I can’t blame her after what she witnessed,” Paul muttered.

“What?” I was sure I had misunderstood.

“That’s what she was meant to think. I mean, originally that’s why I kissed you, only…” He ran his hand through his hair. “Look, this wasn’t what I came here to talk to you about, but since the topic’s out, can we just forget yesterday ever happened?”

I was surprised I felt stung. One minute he was practically pawing at me, and now he wanted to erase it from his mind completely? “No problem. I forgot already.”

“Great.” He physically sagged with relief.

“It wasn’t that memorable anyway,” I said.

His sharp blue eyes cut into me and then away. “Right. My thoughts exactly.”

Ouch.
I inwardly winced, but I guess I deserved that. That’s what you got for smarting off.

“No, what I came to talk to you about is that Wesley and I discussed it, and we want to make sure you’re physically sound.”

“Not more hospital tests!” I groaned.

“We were thinking of having Wesley do a quick scan on you with the help of the machines in our infirmary. Then, if everything seems to be proceeding okay, he and I will both work on helping you learn to control your new powers. Neither of us are telekinetic, but as I said, I have experience learning how to control powers received late in life, and Wesley’s had years of experience training the newly powered.”

“Centuries,” I mused.

He gave me a half smile. “Exactly. So I came to fetch you to get started.”

“Right now?”

“No time like the present. We’ve got other troubles to worry about, of course, but since you couldn’t wait to take those blocks down until after the government mess, we’ve got to take care of you now.”

I’ll say this: All of these snide comments between the two of us were making it easy to get back onto professional ground.

I followed Paul into our infirmary, where Wesley was typing on a data pad near the large, cold metal slab in the center of the room. In his jeans and an EHJ-logo T-shirt, his dress was a stark contrast to Paul’s suit pants and dress shirt under a starched white lab coat.

He looked up as we came in and gave me a reassuring smile. “I promise this won’t take long, Mindy. I just want to double-check.”

“It’s okay, I understand.” I walked over to the table and slid up on it, careful not to flash too much bare thigh in my ascent. Was it my imagination, or did Paul’s gaze linger on my legs as I crossed my knees? “I’m a liability now: the girl who could go crazy at any moment.” I smoothed down my skirt, feeling self-conscious.

This time I saw Paul tear his gaze away from my legs with a frown. “We just need physical proof of your fitness for duty,” he said. “Just in case.”

I made out with you yesterday,
I wanted to say.
I think that proves I’m mentally incompetent.
But I kept my big mouth shut and lay down on the table.

Paul adjusted the machine arm hanging next to the table so that it hovered right over my head. Reaching over to the data pad, he typed in a few keystrokes.

“I thought we had to go to a hospital to do this effectively,” I remarked. “I thought our machines weren’t powerful enough.”

“That’s why I’m here,” Wesley said. “I boost them enough that we can do a scan to compare to your results from earlier.” He reached over and touched the scanner and muttered something in Italian that I couldn’t catch. The machine clicked on with a hum, and I had a momentary flare of panic, hearing again that hum from the Vyqang machinery as they cut my head open.

No!
I snapped to myself.
You’re not there anymore, you’re back home. You’re with Wesley and Paul and they’re trying to help you, not hurt you.

“You okay?” Paul asked, checking the monitors. “Your heart rate sped up there for a moment.”

“I’m okay. The noise freaked me out, but I’m okay now.”

He nodded. “Well, try to hold still. We’re almost done. Visualize the beach and the waves if you need to.”

“No, I’m okay.”

After a few more moments, Wesley switched off the machine. “We’re done.” He and Paul studied the monitor, and then held up the X-ray of my brain they had gotten at the hospital. I had a funny thought that I wanted to share it with my parents.
Yes, Mother, Father, I have photographic proof that there is a brain in my thick skull—one that you let get tampered with.
I fought down a panicky giggle as I sat up. Laughing like a maniac would not show that I was dealing with my recalled memories well.