Tell Me No Lies (10 page)

“I’m calling it at six minutes, kitten. I should’ve stopped
sooner. And you need to learn when to use your safeword.”

He’d turned the vibrator off, she realized, and she hadn’t
even noticed when it happened. The residual buzzing in her clit and entire
pelvis was so strong the machine might as well have still been on. Though it
was also entirely possible she’d grayed out for a few seconds.

“This comes out next.” He knelt and unclamped the rod that
held the dildo, and Tess cried out in protest as it slipped down and out. She
wanted it back, wanted
something
to fill her while her body attempted to
recover from its surfeit of pleasure.

Her legs wobbled as she struggled to support herself. Jake
put the rod to one side and turned back, tracing a hand up her inner thigh
through the slick of lube and Tess’ fluids. When he pressed his fingers to her
swollen slit, her hips moved again of their own accord, despite her exhaustion.

“You want that? You want more than that, kitten?”

She nodded, or tried to at least.
Want
wasn’t a
strong enough word. Even
need
seemed too weak to describe this feeling.

“Then ask for what you want.”

She had been reduced to this, to begging him. That had been
his goal; he’d said so. To break her. Make her admit her own limits, her own
needs. At the heart of all his dominance, all the bondage and other trappings,
was this essential transaction. It was a greater challenge than the pain, to
give in this way, but she mustered the strength to face it.

“Want you,” she managed, the words feeling awkward and
strange in her mouth. As though it had been years, not hours, since she’d last
spoken. “Please.”

There was something else, but it was complicated and the
words escaped her. Jake had unfastened her feet and one wrist, was freeing the
other one when she realized she could use the shorthand he’d given her.

“Wildcats,” she whispered. Because she wanted
him
…just
him.

He laughed as he finished freeing her and scooped her into
his arms. “Oh,
now
you safe out?”

She thumped his chest with the heel of one hand then let it
fall limp over her belly. When had he taken his shirt off? He felt and smelled
wonderful. “Not what I meant.”

“I know what you meant, sweetheart. Plain old sex. And
that’s okay,” he added, swinging her carefully down to the couch before
shucking his jeans and donning a condom in record time. “Because I’m so damn
hot for you right now I doubt I’d have the control to fuck with your head and
body at the same time anyway. You drive me fucking nuts.”

She could believe it. His cock was dark, the ruddy color
apparent even through the latex. It felt huge and hard and right sliding into
her, and Jake’s body felt perfect over hers. His weight kept her from floating
away. Her heart soared anyway.

“Amazing.” She couldn’t have had another orgasm if her life
depended on it, but that didn’t bother her. She’d already had them all, given
them to Jake for safekeeping. It felt amazing anyway. Cosmic levels of good.
Lizard-brain, wordless, primal good, which was about all she was up to in the
thinking department anyway.

“God yes,” Jake agreed. He was already speeding up, his need
overwhelming his obvious desire to go easy on her. His gaze looked dark, almost
like midnight as it caught and held hers. “Jesus, Tess. You—”

Whatever he’d intended to say was cut off by a startled
grunt. He came so hard his body went rigid for a moment, everything pausing
before rushing to a final chaotic finish, all pistoning hips and heaving sides
and slick heat. And then trembling, holding, kissing her as if he never wanted
to do anything else.

Amazing. Perfect. And if there were any other descriptive
terms, they tumbled out of Tess’ head as she drifted to sleep still wrapped in
Jake’s embrace.

Chapter Nine

“
Shit
.”

Tess’ muttered curse intruded on Jake’s slowly recovering consciousness,
accompanied by watery morning light that looked all wrong.

“Jake, do you know where my phone is? I heard it ring but I
can’t find it. Wake
up
.”

Slender cold hands pushed his shoulder, rocking it back and
forth.

“’M awake,” he objected, blinking and trying to get his
bearings.

Tess was sitting next to him on the bed—no, couch—and she
was wearing his shirt from the day before. Dark-blue plaid. She looked great in
it, and his morning-fueled response to her assured him she’d look even better
out of it.

When he reached for her, she slapped his hand.
Slapped
his hand
. Good thing the scene was over.

“Jake. Help me find my phone. Are you always like this in
the mornings? I thought you were a morning person.”

“I
am
a morning person.” He sat up, yawning hugely
and scratching his head. Where the fuck…?

Ah. The basement. The workout thing. Tess. Sex. Good stuff.
It was all coming back to him now.

Tess
.
Sex
.

“Will coffee help? I’m going to go make some coffee. You
come up when you’re conscious, morning man.”

She flitted away, the Tess of his dreams, wearing his shirt,
off to make him coffee. So he could wake up and help her find her phone.

“It’s in your purse,” he hollered, his brain finally
shifting back into sync with reality. “Hanging on the back of one of the
kitchen chairs.”

“Thank you,” she yelled back.

When he made it up to the kitchen she was filling the coffee
maker and talking on her cell phone, propping it on her shoulder to free up
both hands.

“That’s fine. I’ll be there. But no sooner than ten, right?”

He nudged her aside and took over, sneaking peeks at her
legs while he finished up and turned the machine on. She talked with her hands
when they weren’t busy making coffee, and every time she gestured the shirt
rode up, revealing a scandalous amount of thigh and occasional shots of bare
ass.

“Yeah. It’s not very well marked. If you get to McAdam
you’ve gone too far. Right, right. Okay.”

She glanced at him and mouthed something, which he didn’t
get. Tess covered the phone with her hand and said, “It’s the moving guys.
They’ll be here sometime after ten.”

Jake nodded and smiled, but he let it fade as he turned
around to watch the coffee drip. Today they were back in the real world, it
seemed. He would go to work, Tess would go across the street and wait for her
stuff, and then what? Their libidos had done all the talking since yesterday,
but that conversation wasn’t nearly enough. Not to mention Jake’s guilt was
bearing down on him, now that he had some blood flow to his brain again.

“Do you have anything to eat around here? I’m starving.
Can’t think why.”

“Huh? Oh.” He hadn’t even noticed her phone call was over.
Maybe the blood flow wasn’t entirely back to optimal yet. He blamed the shirt
and everything Tess wasn’t wearing under it. “Yeah, I could make you some bacon
and eggs. Toast?” He was already reaching into a cabinet for the skillet.

“Do you have time? I thought you had a paper to run.”

“If my dad ever actually retires, instead of just saying
he’s going to. In the meantime it’s a joint effort.”

“Lucky you two get along.”

Jake shrugged. They did well enough. He knew his father
trusted him with the position, when the time finally came. But for now it could
be crowded at the top, and Dad couldn’t seem to let his baby go for good. His
mother had threatened to pack herself off to Europe without him for the
extended trip they’d been planning for years. Jake wasn’t complaining, but he
wouldn’t mind having more to do to occupy his time.

“Coffee’s ready,” she prompted.

Jake let Tess fetch the cups and plates and do the toast
while he finished cooking the bacon and eggs. It was another charming domestic
scene, but he thought Tess was probably working hard to be on her best
behavior. The whole thing had been so long in the making between them, neither
really knew how to handle things now that they’d finally consummated their
long-stifled lust. Tess seemed almost shy, distracted and even distant. Trying
too hard to act casual. Jake was still eaten up by guilt.

That much, at least, he could address before he let her
leave.

“After breakfast, we should talk.”

She eyed him over a forkful of eggs. “I think I did better
not
talking, don’t you? Maybe we should go back to that.”

“Even if
you
won’t talk, I need to,” he warned.

“Can you at least wait until after I’m done eating?”

He gave her that long, but once she’d finished and the
plates were cleared he pulled her into the living room and sat on the couch,
drawing her down to sit beside him.

“I owe you an apology, and I need to clear up some things.”

She shook her head instantly, vehemently, but Jake pressed
on.

“I have to do this, Tess. You’ve never done this stuff
before, but I have and there are dangers. Part of being a Dominant, for me at
least, is supposed to be keeping my head. Not getting so distracted by the
turn-on of it, or the emotions, that I make choices that could endanger a
submissive. I asked you to trust me, and you did, and then I turned around and
pushed you way too far—yes, I did, especially for your first time—and twice I
didn’t quit when it was obvious you needed to and couldn’t stop yourself. Yes,
you
did
need to, Tess.” She kept shaking her head, frowning at him,
perhaps as a holdover from yesterday’s silence.

Finally he framed her cheeks with his palms to keep her gaze
on his. “It happens, honey. Stuff like this can trigger really deep responses
sometimes, responses we don’t even know the cause of. And for you…I already
know you’re working through some things right now, so I should have been even
more careful. But I got carried away, at your expense. And I’m sorry.”

She lifted her hands, gripping his wrists lightly, not
trying to pull free.

“Are you—” she started in a hoarse whisper, then cleared her
throat before trying again. “Are you saying you’re sorry for all of it?”

Jake huffed in disbelief that such a thought could even
cross her mind. He wasn’t even as sorry as he ought to be for the parts he
should
feel bad about, much less the whole encounter. It was way too fantastic to
regret entirely.

Words failed him. Instead, he kissed her, a thorough, lingering
kiss. One that promised more. Within seconds she was straddling his lap,
straining closer, and Jake’s hands found their way to her ass.

Her sharp hiss reminded him of the marks there, which in
turn reminded him of creating those marks. He pulled back, struggling for
restraint.

“Are you reassured?” His voice sounded strained. Not cool.
Tess didn’t seem to mind, however. There might be benefits, he realized, to
playing with somebody who knew almost nothing of the BDSM world. No
expectations, no preconceived notions. He didn’t have to live up to some
idealized Master in her head. Which was good, because Tess knew him way too
well for him to maintain that kind of poise with her. Besides, he kind of liked
how she made him lose his mind.

“Yeah, that’s pretty reassuring.” She ground her hips,
bearing down on his stiffening cock, in case he had any doubt what she was
referring to. “In its way.”

“I’ve always wanted you.” Simple, honest. The implications
were profound, but they weren’t news to him or to Tess. “But—”

“That’s the worst possible word for you to say next.”

“
But
that’s no excuse for me to be thinking with my
dick.”

Tess looked down at the visible outline of the organ in
question, then shrugged. “Maybe we both needed that. In order for this to
finally happen, there had to be less thinking and more succumbing to the
inevitable.”

“Another thing we ought to discuss.”

She shook her head again. “We still have more succumbing to
do.”

“Tess—”

“Master Jake.”

Jake snorted. “Yeah right. I’m not holding my breath to hear
that from you again, unless it’s sarcasm.”

“My Lord then?”

“Tess, this happened, and we need to talk about it. Because
here’s what I’m worried about—we avoided this for years. So after all this
time, why now?”

* * * * *

For a second or two she considered demurring, pretending not
to know what he was asking. Then she thought about turning the question back on
him. He’d made the first move, after all. Hadn’t he? Or had she been the one to
start flirting on purpose, drawing the conversation into escalating? When had
that conversation truly started, anyway? Yesterday, a week ago…a decade ago?

Things had been so much simpler when she wasn’t talking.

“I don’t know,” she admitted at last. “I don’t know anything
these days. I don’t know why I moved back. Or why I didn’t want to tell anyone.
I’m just…doing stuff.” Saying it out loud made it somehow less frightening than
it had been in her head, but it was still hard to acknowledge that, for the
first time in years, she didn’t have a plan.

“I don’t want this to be something you’re doing and you
don’t know why.” Jake flexed his fingers around her hips, very gently this
time. Even that slight movement stirred her libido. She almost resented how
easily he affected her, turning her on without even trying.

“Then you tell me, Jake. Why now? You’re the man in charge,
right? So tell me what to think. I suspect you have at least a working theory
after trying to figure me out all week.”

“I can’t tell you what to think, but I do have a theory,
yes.”

“Let’s hear it.”

He pursed his lips, cocking his head. “You’re going to chew
my head off afterward, aren’t you?”

Tess tightened her thighs around his hips, grimacing at the
twinge in her overworked muscles, but smiling inside at the way she and Jake
fit together. Her heart skipped a beat and a flutter started low in her
stomach, but it felt off. Not arousal. More like trepidation. “Not making any
guarantees.”

“Okay. So your book did better than you’d ever dreamed.
Maybe better than you think it deserved. You quit the job you’d worked for
years to get so you’d have more time to write, and now the writing’s not coming
like it did so you’re questioning that decision.”

She shrugged but didn’t deny it. She was having trouble
attending to his words.

“On top of that, your sister and your cousin have turned out
to be normal, functional human beings who are capable of living their lives
quite well without any supervision from their stand-in mom. Another thing you’d
worked on for years that’s done now. So in under a year, all this stuff you’ve
built your life around—”

“That’s enough.” She pushed off his lap and backed halfway
across the room.

“It’s all changing, and you aren’t in control of any of it.”

“No, stop!”

Her heart had started pounding halfway through Jake’s speech
and her head was swimming. Now her lips were buzzing as if she’d chased a beer
with three shots of whiskey. Her stomach felt like a swarm of butterflies, a
nightmarish quantity. It had come on so fast, and she knew what came next, the
sweat and nausea, the suffocating sensation. She had no idea if Jake’s words
had done it or if it was bad luck, this timing that couldn’t get any worse.

“Honey? Tess, are you okay?”

His voice sounded hollow, distant.

Tess shook her head, trying to clear it. Waved her hands as
if she could flick away the growing pressure. “Need a paper bag,” she managed,
stumbling back to the couch and letting her head fall between her knees.

“Shit!”

“Language.”

He laughed quick and harsh in disbelief. He was already
headed toward the kitchen, presumably to find her something to breathe into.
She concentrated on breathing out, resisting the urge to gasp for air.

It’s all in my head
, she reminded herself, and
pressed her lips together to see if they were any less numb. Nope.

“Here you go.”

He pressed a brown lunch bag into her hands, its edges
neatly folded down and already slightly compressed so all she had to do was put
it up to her nose and lips. She breathed in, sucking hard, collapsing the bag.
Then out, inflating it until it stopped crinkling.

“Your fingers are like popsicles again. Keep the breathing
up. Be right back.”

I’ll be dead by then. Gonna keel right over. Thank god,
about time.

She reprimanded herself for the thought, which she knew was
a product of whatever horrible mental misfire was causing her to freak out in
the first place. Life was good, life was peachy, she had no complaints. There
was no good, objective reason for her
not
to be happy.

In and out, in and out, the crumpling noise soothing in its
regularity. After a few more breaths she imagined the buzzing in her face was
subsiding, her pulse rate returning to something like a safe range.

“Okay, put this on.”

Jake was back, slipping a big sweatshirt over her head. Tess
had to scramble to find the armholes and settle the shirt into place while still
keeping the bag pressed to her face. The fabric was old and soft, comforting.
She sat back, leaning into the couch cushions, tucking her knees up into the
voluminous shirt. Jake spread a crocheted throw over her then vanished into the
kitchen again, only to return with a glass full of white wine and a large water
bottle.

She took the wine gratefully, trading it for the bag and
swallowing an indelicately large gulp. Then she put the bag back over her face,
more as a shield than anything else. Buying herself a few more minutes before
Jake demanded more answers than she was ready to give.