Read Tell Me No Secrets Online
Authors: Michelle-Nikki
Tell Me No Secrets (9 page)
As I sat in Chyanne's driveway and thought, something akin to heartache overtook me. For so many years I'd tried to cope with the physical altercations Stephanie and I had and each time they'd left me with a void in my heart. It was thirty minutes after midnight and I realized I had been sitting there a while when Chyanne opened her door and called my name. She shielded her eyes and yelled something at me. I couldn't hear her because of the rain pouring down. When noticing I couldn't hear her she closed the front door and went back inside.
I sat there and thought about how every time something like me having to physically put my hands on Stephanie happened, it always took me a while to get my thought process back on point. So many issues in our marriage that we'd never dealt with were now coming back to the surface. For a while living in the house together back in New York felt as if we were living in a war zone. She'd cheat. I'd get mad. We would fight, have sex, and make up. I'd cheat. She'd get mad, confront the woman. We'd fight, have sex, and make up. I was to the point in my life where I just wanted peace. I'd gotten tired of the same dance and I hated like hell that I'd given her the impression that we could once again work it out. That's why I'd gone back to New York over the holidays. I just needed to see if she was where I wanted to be. I needed to know that it was over. So one last time I tried and one last time I got the answer that I wanted. It was over.
Chyanne knocked on my window and jarred me back to reality. I realized she was standing outside in the rain with a light jacket, some cotton shorts, tennis shoes, and a big black umbrella.
Wondering how long she'd been standing there I let the window down and asked, “Why are you out here in the rain?”
“Because you've been sitting out here with your headlights shining through the front of my house for about thirty minutes.”
“Go in the house. I'll be in. Give me a minute.”
I could tell she had been asleep. Her voice was soft and sweet while her eyes carried a blushful ambiance. They lured me in as I stared at her intently for a while.
She blushed under my observation before asking, “Are you coming in or are you just going to sit here?”
“Go in the house,” I said a bit harsher than I intended to. She looked perplexed because of my tone but slowly turned away and made her way back inside.
About ten minutes later, I raced to her front door as the rain drenched me. It was coming down hard and felt as if each pelt was trying to break skin. Since I didn't want to walk wet across her snow white carpet, I took my shoes and clothes off at her door. I had no idea she had been standing there watching me as I looked up at her and she held her hand out for my wet clothes. I handed them to her.
“I laid a T-shirt and a pair of PJ's on the bed. You left them here before. I washed them.”
She stood there and stared at me for a while. Looking at my face, probably drawing assumptions about what'd happened.
“I'll wash these and dry them for you,” she said after a while tucking my clothes underneath her right arm.
Turning, she went toward her laundry room. Her wife beater was a little wet from standing in the rain and her cotton shorts hung to her back side giving me a good view of the jiggle it gave as she walked. I made my way to the bathroom in her bedroom and hopped into the shower, needing the hot water and steam to take my mood and my temper down a level. Once I was done with that, I walked into her bedroom and found the clothes she had laid out for me. I could smell her cooking something and my stomach immediately reminded me that I hadn't eaten in a couple of hours.
By the time I walked into the kitchen she was sauté-ing some seasoned chicken breast in olive oil. In the light she got a better look at my face and gasped. I didn't even bother to look in the mirror before I got in the shower and didn't bother to look after the water had burned my face, chest, and the back of my neck. She pulled a plate from the microwave as I sat down at the table. The silence around us spoke loudly, but I felt at peace being with her as she set a chicken sandwich and a plate of wild rice in front of me with the sliced tomatoes, pickles, lettuce, and condiments on the side. I ate it in silence while she finished cooking the last piece of chicken. I watched as she wrapped it and placed the plate in the microwave.
“I'll fix you another sandwich if you're still hungry after you finish,” she said as she placed a cold glass of ice tea in front of me and sat down at the table with me. “Aric?” She called to me.
I looked over at her and finished chewing my food before answering. “What?”
“You get into a fight?”
Her question would have annoyed me if the look of genuine concern that covered her face didn't touch me.
“You can say that,” I answered before putting a spoonful of rice in my mouth not wanting to divulge the details.
“Was it a cat that got a hold of you?” She asked playfully as she raised her eyebrows and smirked.
Although I didn't want to, I gave a little smirk of my own. “You can say that too.”
There was silence again before she said, “I just wanted to make you smile. You seemed to be out of it. I don't think I like to see you look that way.”
I squinted my eyes to look at her because I didn't have my glasses on and my eyes were stressed. She was indeed a beautiful young woman and I'd found myself intrigued by her the first moment I'd laid eyes on her. An innocent baby face surrounded by high cheek bones set off by big beautiful doe like eyes and she was thick. Plus sized is what America called her. I called it thickness. She was thick in all of the right places. Maybe that's why it was so hard to get her out my system. Maybe that's why I didn't want to get her out of my system.
“Don't worry about me. I'm fine. Are you ready for tomorrow?” I asked her.
“As ready as I'll ever be. I'm a little nervous... scared. My doctor says this could cause a lot of stress to me and the baby.”
I finished the last little bit of the rice and sandwich before wiping my mouth with the paper towel. “I need to know. I know this will be a risk, but I have to know if it's my baby you're carrying.”
She didn't say anything as she stood, and took the used dishes to the kitchen. She washed them and placed them in the dishwasher before walking to her front room and plopping down on her sofa. Picking up the remote she turned the TV on.
“I talked to Stephanie,” I told her.
“Did she tell you what happened?”
“Some of it,” I nodded as I stood and walked to stand in front of her. She sat looking up at me from the sofa with the remote in her hand. “Yeah. . . . Who was it that you were at lunch with today?”
My eyes raked her over and then I looked directly into her eyes. Looking into her eyes gave me a sense of power because of the way she cowered under my gaze. I could tell she was thinking about whether or not she should lie to me before she answered. Her lying to me had never been in her best interest. I stood wide legged with my arms folded across my chest, scratching my chin watching as she put the TV on mute and placed the remote on the table.
“I . . . It was Jamie.”
She cringed when I moved one of my arms to wipe one hand down my face. I frowned and asked, “What are you jumping for?”
She shrugged and I could see her visibly relax after a while. The look on her face told me she thought I was about to hit her. Seeing that look on her face took my anger over her being with Jamie down a level.
“Any particular reason you were with Jamie?” I asked her.
“Figured I should let him know that it was a very small possibility that he could be the father of this child.”
I raised my eyebrows and titled my head to look at her. “Thought you were sure it was mine.”
“I am, but . . . I'm just saying. If by chance that it isn't, he's the only other man . . .”
She stopped talking when she realized that I wasn't too keen on what I was hearing.
“I'm sure the baby is yours Aric. I just want to cover all of my bases.”
The look she was giving me showed nervousness as well as guilt. I didn't say anything else about it and took her for her word as I let it go. Issues with my marriage were still clogging my mind.
“I stopped by to make sure you were okay with everything tomorrow,” I said after a moment.
She exhaled. “Like I said I'm as ready as I'll ever be.”
I was about to try to say something to calm her spirits, but my phone rang reminding me that I'd left it on the table by the door. It was Stephanie and I knew she wasn't going to stop calling until I answered, which I wasn't planning on doing anytime soon.
“Want me to get that for you?” Chyanne asked noticing I wasn't going to move from the spot I was in.
“No. Let it ring.”
The rain was coming down hard and the wind was making the trees in Chyanne's front yard whip against her window panes. Once my phone stopped ringing Chyanne's home phone started. She quickly went to retrieve it and held it out to me as it continued to ring in her hand.
“It's your wife,” she spat out. “How did she get my number?”
I ignored her outstretched hand. “More than likely from my phone. Let it ring,” I told her again.
We both listened as her voicemail picked up and a few seconds later Stephanie's voice came through.
“I know he's there and I know you both hear the phone ringing. Tell him to pick up his phone!”
Stephanie's voice sounded high-pitched and discombobulated as I stood in the middle of the floor and listened to her. I could hear the hurt through the anger in her voice and whereas at one time that would have bothered me, but after what had happened earlier, I had no idea the feelings I still had for her. I'd said earlier that I didn't know who started cheating first, but it was all coming back to me now. She'd hurt me that first time, humiliated me because the man she was cheating with had been in my house on several occasions. She'd made me feel like a fool and all of the hurt and anger I'd pushed to the back of my mind was starting to resurface.
So when Chyanne finally picked up her phone and looked at me before answering, “He's not here.” I didn't say a word.
“Don't lie for him you stupid cunt!” Stephanie yelled. Because Chyanne's answering machine had come on already I could still hear Stephanie loud and clear. “Put him on the phone,” Stephanie demanded.
“I told you he wasn't here,” Chyanne calmly lied again.
“You're a stupid bitch. You know that? What? Do you think you're special or something because he has enough power over you to make you lie for him? As soon as he finishes sticking his dick inside of you he's going to come right home and do the same thing to me. So he's fucking you, and I'm fucking him . . . stupid ass . . . I know he's there Chyanne! Put him on the phone you fat ass whore!”
Chyanne held the phone out to me. I took it from her hand and hung it up. Stephanie called back three or four times and left nasty messages on her phone each time. After a while she turned her ringer off. She didn't say anything else to me as she turned and walked into her bedroom. I didn't feel like going home and since I knew that Chyanne was adamant about not having sex with me anymore, I laid in her front room on the sofa for a while. I couldn't sleep because I had too many things going on in my head. Mix that with the hard rain falling down and there was me, restless.
My body was talking to me. Dick was throbbing, aching. I could hear Chyanne moving around in her room wishing I could go in there and have sex with her like it was my last time seeing her. Images of me slamming Stephanie's head into the wall kept flashing across my mind like lightning across the sky. I hadn't meant to go that far, but she kept pushing me. Times like then were when I wished I could call my father and talk with him, but anytime I called him my mother would want to talk to me. I was never too keen on speaking with her unless I absolutely had to.
Looking at the time, I decided it was time for me to be headed home. Although I wasn't quite sure the weather would permit it, I would try anyway. Knowing that Stephanie would be up when I got in was another tempting reason to stay right where I was. Judging by how many times she had called my phone, I knew she was still awake and I was betting she would be the first thing I saw when I walked in the door. After putting my clothes and shoes on, I knocked on Chyanne's bedroom door to let her know I was leaving. When I didn't get an answer I opened the door and saw that she was in her bathroom. I could see the light peeking from under the bathroom door and the shadows of her feet moving around. Opening the door she walked out just as I was about to yell that I was leaving.
She looked over at me through hooded eye lids. “I'm about to leave,” I said.
She looked at the window and back to me before closing the bathroom door and moving so that I could fully see her body. She only had on the cotton shorts and her full breasts jiggled a bit before she moved her hand to cover herself from me. I could see that she'd forgotten she was top naked.
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