Tell Me You Want Me (8 page)

Then she'd told him her secret—shared her pain. A woman in tears typically sent him screaming from the room, but her tears hadn't scared him. The depth of her emotion had touched him, and for a moment, he'd envied the connection she had with her father.

His
father, on the other hand....

His mother had warned him, and Austin had done his best not to become his father. But his best wasn't good enough. Love was not an option.

Love doesn't have to hurt
. Damn it, now Janie's voice stuck in his head. Since when had it gotten this hard to turn off his brain? He smiled.
Since the moment she first rolled her beautiful green eyes at me.
He closed his eyes and wished—hoped—that Janie had been right.

He took a deep breath and started running around the football field.

***

"Do you want to come to the game with me?" Jane dug through her purse, trying to sound casual, and hoping Sara wouldn't bite her head off.

Her roommate sat cross-legged at the coffee table, scribbling in her notebook. She put down her pen and stretched. "Is it at home?"

"No, it's in Oak Grove, but it's not far. I'm riding with the soccer team."

"Me and a bunch of sports nerds stuck in a car for an hour? No thanks." Sara looked at Jane and winced. "No offense."

"None taken." She zipped her purse and took a hesitant step toward the couch. "I'll miss you."

"When was the last time we went to a game together?"

"It's been a while. We used to have so much fun." Jane grinned and plopped down on the couch. "You loved drooling over the tight ends."

Sara laughed. "No, I like the ball runner guy. What's he called?"

"The running back."

"Right, the running back." Sara stuck the tip of her pen in her mouth and her eyes turned dreamy.

"You can lust over him while I ogle the QB."
Darn it!
She hadn't meant to sound go giddy.

"The quarterback? Oh, Austin." The pen cracked. "I don't think so."

"Yeah, that's what I figured." Jane sighed and walked toward the front door.

"I wish I could be happy for you, honey, but I'm so worried about you."

"You don't need to worry. I can take care of myself."

"I know, but I've...." Sara grabbed a new pen and flipped her book open.

"You've what?"

"Never mind. Have fun."

"I will."

Jane stepped into the hall and closed the door behind her. She hated this awkward tension between them. Was this the price for dating Austin? Her relationship—or whatever—with him probably wouldn't last long enough to cost her a friendship with Sara.

Somehow, that thought wasn't very comforting.

***

"Interception!" Austin leaped off the couch and cheered at the TV.

Jack pumped his fists. "Go, go!"

"Touchdown!" They both threw their arms in the air, laughing and clapping so loud that Austin barely heard his phone ring.

He grabbed it without looking at the caller ID. "Hello? Oh, hey Dad." He rolled his eyes.

Jack fell back in the recliner, laughing under his breath.

"Did you see that interception return?" Charles Austin Sinclair, Jr. quizzed his son.

"Hell, yeah."

"Did you see the quarterback's mistake?"

Austin slapped his hand over his face.
Here it comes.
"He threw it to the wrong guy." He grinned at Jack.

Jack snickered and opened a bottle of water.

"Don't be a smartass, son. He took his eyes off the receiver. I've seen you do the same damn thing. Watch and learn."

"Are you calling for a reason, or are you just trying to piss me off?"

"He's trying to piss you off." Jack stuffed a handful of chips in his mouth and nearly choked laughing when Austin snarled at him.

"I want to come see one of your games."

"I have a game every weekend, Dad. We won yesterday. You could've come to that one."

"Are you playing at home next Saturday?"

"Yes."

"Good. I'll be there."

Sure you will.
He shook his head at Jack. "Okay, Dad."

"Did you get lucky this weekend? Got another girl waiting for next weekend?"

He practically heard his father salivating over the phone. "I...." No way in hell was he going to tell his dad he'd turned down an easy lay. "I had a date Friday night, and I'll probably see her again soon."

"The same girl?"

"Yes."

"Wow, she must be a hot piece of ass."

"Don't call her that, Dad." Janie wasn't just a piece of ass.
Damn it, why not?

"Keep your options open, son, on and off the field."

"Yeah, sure." The idea didn't appeal to him like it used to.

"I expect a great game out of you on Saturday. Scouts could be watching you."

"I always play my best, no matter who's watching."

"Good. See you next week."

Austin ended the call and chucked his phone at the couch.

"The usual conversation, huh?" Jack handed him a beer.

"Said he's coming to the game next weekend."

"Oh joy."

"You know he won't make it."

"I'll take that bet."

Austin sneered and turned his attention to the game, but talking to his dad had sucked all the fun out of it.

"Why didn't you tell him about your early night with Jane?"

"Are you crazy? You know my dad. If I told him I'd called it a night, he'd... wow... he'd freak."

"That would be fun to watch."

Austin laughed. "Yeah. No." He shook his head. "I don't want to find out. I have enough crazy in my head. I don't need him coaching my bedroom sports too."

"Doesn't he already?"

He couldn't argue with that. "Not with Janie. I'm not gonna let him call this play."

"The ball is in your hands. Are you gonna hand it off or keep it and test the defense?"

Austin downed his beer and glared at Jack. "What the hell is that supposed to mean?"

"You know what it means."

"Whatever."

He knew Jack was right. Hand her off to someone else, or hang on and hope he didn't get sacked again?

***

"You told him what?" Sara nearly dropped her oatmeal on the kitchen floor.

"We're going out again." Jane smiled, completely oblivious to the juice overflowing its glass. Funny how her Friday night date made Monday morning so pleasant.

"What the?" Juice dripped from the table onto her pants. "Nice."

Sara shook her head. "Bad idea. Why?"

"Why not?" She mopped up her juice and shot a glare at Sara. She didn't have to explain anything to her. "We had a good time so we decided to do it again."

"Ah, I see." Sara sat down at the table. "You had fun in bed and now you're hooked just like all the other girls he uses."

"We didn't sleep together." She turned on the toaster oven, still puzzled by that.

"Seriously? I thought Austin slept with every girl he went out with."

"I did too, but there's a lot more to him than sex." She couldn't deny that his raw sexuality appealed to her, but Jane kept that thought to herself.

"You're kidding."

"No. He's funny, he's an incredible athlete, and he's a good listener."
And an amazing kisser.
She closed her eyes, remembering the touch of his lips on hers, his hands in her hair, his tongue in her mouth, his body crushing her... hard, hot, burning....
Smoke? Ack!
The toast was on fire.

"This is Austin Sinclair you're talking about."

"Uh-huh." She turned off the toaster oven and waved the smoke away.

"A good listener?"

"Yeah, that was a total surprise."

"I thought Austin only heard what he wanted to."

"Why are you being so hard on him?" Jane didn't want or need Sara's approval, but a little less judgment would be nice. "You don't know anything about him."

"I know enough."

"Only gossip."

"There's a little bit of truth to every rumor." Sara bit a chunk off the burnt toast and tossed the rest of it across the room into the sink.

"Maybe." Jane suddenly remembered what he was doing (and who he was doing it with) when she'd met him. "Probably."

Yet he'd decided to wait. Why would he do that if he had no interest in her... at least a little bit?

"Maybe he could change."
Darn it!
She hadn't meant to say that out loud. Could she reform the bad boy? Did she want to?

"He'll never change." Sara practically spit the words at her. "Can't you see what he's doing to you?"

She shook her head.

"He's playing you. He wants you to think he's a nice guy because he knows you won't go for the bad boy."

Not entirely true
. She hid her smile in her glass of orange juice. Just thinking about his naughty streak made her tingle.

"After he has his fun with you, he'll get bored and go after the next pretty face he sees." Sara stabbed her oatmeal with her spoon, over and over.

Jane almost felt sorry for it.

"Trust me, I know."

Jane's smile faded. "I know what he does. I know he won't stay with one girl." He'd told her he never would. "And I know he'll lose interest in me sooner or later."

"Probably sooner."

"So why can't I just have fun with him while it lasts? Other girls do."

"Lots of other girls."

"Why can't I be one of them?"

"Why would you want to?"

"Because I want to enjoy life for a change. I want to take a risk. I've always been the careful one, doing what everybody else thought I should do. 'Don't do that, Jane, you might get hurt.' 'Do your homework, Jane, you can have fun later.' Well, it's later. It's finally my turn to have fun."

She threw her dishes in the sink. "So if you can't understand that... fine." She grabbed her backpack and slammed the front door behind her.

Gray clouds gathered in the western sky, and a cold blast of wind ruffled the pages of Jane's textbook, flipping them to the wrong chapter. She sighed and searched for her place again, but the page she read over and over made no sense anyway.

She closed her book and looked at her watch—half an hour until soccer practice. All day long, she'd stewed over her fight with Sara. They'd avoided each other at lunch, as Sara had sat with her friends from the psychology department, and Jane had sat with the soccer team. Bayfield's cafeteria food had churned in her stomach, so she'd gone outside to read, hoping some fresh air would make her feel better.

No such luck.

Her mother's number lit up Jane's cell phone.
Great.
Just what she needed—a side of guilt to go with the cold shoulder she'd had for lunch. She could let it go to voice mail, but she would have to call her mother back eventually. Better to get it over with now.

"Hi, Mom."

"Hello, dear. Were you busy?"

"Not really."

"Were you studying?"

"I was trying to."
Always asking about studying. Does she care about anything else?

"That's good. How's school?"

"Fine."

"Just fine?"

Her best friend wasn't speaking to her because she hated the guy Jane was dating. Jane had wanted to sleep with him, but he'd said no. Now he wanted a second date, and this time they probably would do it. Did her mom really want to talk about that?

"Yes. Fine."

"All right. How did your midterm exams go?"

"I got an A on the first one."
Tell her that right away to avoid an interrogation.
"And I have another one tomorrow."

"Will you have time to study tonight?"

"Yes, after soccer practice."

"Hm."

She knew that 'hm' all too well. That was her 'I don't approve, and I'm pausing for dramatic effect' hm.

"Maybe you should skip soccer and do some extra studying."

"I know how to manage my time."

"I know you do, dear, but don't forget why you went to that school... so far away from home...."

Escape!
"Uh-huh."

"You need to get good grades—"

"I do get good grades, Mother."

"I know you do, but you shouldn't let frivolous things distract you."

Ugh.
Her mother sucked all the fun out of her life. "I'm not distracted. I can play soccer, go out on dates, and still pass my exams."

"You're dating?"

Oh crap.
"Um... yeah. I'm kinda seeing a guy."

"Seeing?"

"We went out once, last weekend."

Her mother was silent.

"We had fun."

Still quiet.

"He's a fun guy."
Stop babbling, Jane.
She didn't need to know about Austin's kind of fun.

"Fun is not important. You need to focus on school."

"I
am
focused on school."

"Are you going out with him again?"

Absolutely.
"I'm thinking about it."

"Then you're not focused on school."

"Yes I am."
This is going downhill fast.

"Jane, dear, you can't have a boyfriend and keep up your grades."

"Why not?"

"Boys have only one thing on their minds. He won't let you study because all he wants to do is have sex."

Actually, he'd said no when Jane had only one thing on
her
mind. She smothered a laugh when she imagined what her mother would say to that.

"Going out on a date again is a bad idea."

In a flash, Jane re-lived her argument with Sara. Was dating Austin really a bad idea?

"Jane?"

She looked at the phone in her hand as if she'd never seen it before. "Yeah, Mom, I'm here."

"This is exactly what I'm talking about. He already has you distracted. I hope you're not planning on seeing him before your next exam."

"I haven't thought about it." She hadn't thought about anything
else
, especially her exams.
Oh. My. God. Is Mom right? Is Austin too much of a distraction?
She didn't have time for fun, especially not during midterms.

"You need to think about it."

"I will." Jane sighed. She wanted to go out with Austin again, but with graduation only a semester away, she couldn't afford to. She'd gone out with him once and had some fun. Mission accomplished. She couldn't take time away from school to do it again.