Tempt Me Twice 1 (2 page)

Just yesterday all but fifty dollars had been withdrawn from my account. The machine could tell me that, but it couldn’t tell me who had done it, or where, or why.

“Please.” I tried to soften my voice. I’d never believed that yelling and screaming at those who worked in customer service was a good way to get what you wanted. “I’m sorry to ask, but it’s an emergency.” And it truly was. The bank was a small town one—it didn’t belong to a larger chain, and there was no after hour hotline to call.

The teller hesitated, and I felt a glimmer of hope. The hope was ground to dust under the heel of her sensible pump when she again shook her head.

“I’m sorry. If it was just me I’d let you in, but my boss is pretty strict about closing right on time.” She offered me a rueful smile before moving the cage the last few inches to lock it into place. “We’ll be open again at nine tomorrow morning.”

I watched, my mouth gone dry, as she turned the lock in the gate. The resultant click echoed off the stark beige walls.

I wanted to scream. Why couldn’t she just help me? The only person I’d been able to rely on for help in my entire life was standing two feet away, and yet I could no longer ask him.

He reached out, rubbed his hand over my back, spreading warmth. Because I wanted to nuzzle into the touch like a kitten, I shrugged away irritably, caught the flash of hurt from the corner of my eye.

Once upon a time, Nick and I had talked about getting married, and yet today was the first time we’d seen each other in six months.

I couldn’t rely on anyone but myself.

“Kayla?”

I turned as he spoke. There was concern for me, but not the gut wrenching upset that was currently roiling through my gut.

Shaking my head, I pushed past him, through the glass door, into the chilly air. The wind stung my cheeks, forcing me to wake up, and when I lowered myself down onto the concrete steps and sunk my head between my knees, the cold seeped into the backs of my thighs through the thin denim.

“Kayla, this sucks, but it’s going to be okay.” Nick had pushed through the glass doors after me, and he stretched out beside me on the stair. I saw uncertainty slicker through his eyes. He lifted a hand, looking like he was about to brush my hair away from my face.

I sucked in a sharp breath, anticipating the touch. He dropped the hand down to his lap as though I’d slapped him.

In a way, I was glad. In that moment his touch could have shattered me, and I might have been tempted to do some things I knew I would ultimately regret.

But in that moment it was really fucking tempting to forget that we were no longer lovers, no longer really even friends, and to launch myself into his arms. Just being held would have given me a lot of comfort.

Since we’d broken up, I didn’t touch anyone. Nobody touched me. I’d quickly discovered how grounding human touch could be.

You never really knew what you had until it was gone... wasn’t that the saying?

“How is it going to be okay, Nick?” I laughed, but there was no mirth in the sound.

He frowned, his brow furrowing. I wanted to reach out, to smooth the creases away.

Instead I eased my fingers between my thighs and the concrete of the step beneath me. If I sat on my hands, maybe I wouldn’t be so tempted to touch what was no longer mine.

“Banks have protection against fraud like this.” What he didn’t add was that it could be one hell of a battle to get back what was rightfully yours.

“That money is long gone by now, Nick.” Looking up, I caught his bright blue stare with my own softer grey one. I’d known, from the moment I’d seen that slip of paper shoot out of the ATM I’d known, but I hadn’t wanted to admit it.

I could have dealt with the fact that my family was pure trailer trash, in every sense of the world. I could handle that they weren’t sophisticated, that dinner at a truck stop was a momentous occasion, and that obtaining a high school diploma put you on par with Mark Zuckerberg.

I could deal with the fact that, as the oldest of seven, now eight, I’d been forced to act as a parent instead of a child myself—after all, it was hard to extract child support from that many different men.

I could even push away the meanness that came about when the alcohol came out. After all, these people that were my kin didn’t have much else in the way of relief.

But I couldn’t deal with being stolen from, not when I’d given up so much for these kids. Now when I’d stayed to look out for them, even though it meant I had to see my own tormentor every day.

Shuddering, I yanked myself out of my thoughts and back into the present. I’d told nick I knew who had stolen my money, and though it took him a moment, he understood.

“Your family?” Demonstrating how well he knew me, he didn’t argue the point, immediately seeing the truth in my words. “Which one?”

“TJ.” My twenty year old brother was cunning and sneaky, and was inseparable with the person who terrified me more than anyone else on the planet.

As I thought about it, a sneaking tendril of a memory worked its way into my mind, and in a flash I understood how he had done it. He had just gotten his girlfriend Justine pregnant too, so he’d be hurting for cash.

He must have held on to the information for a time in which he’d need it—remarkable self-control for my impulsive sibling.

“How?” Nick finally asked. I cringed, feeling naïve and stupid.

“Last time I was home, I was working on my laptop. I went to the bathroom and when I came back TJ was on my computer. He said he’d just been checking his e-mail.” Technology had finally come all the way down to the bayou, though the computer in the double wide was one that my fifteen year old brother Ray had ‘found’ somewhere and didn’t work half the time.

My throat hurt, I felt like such an idiot. “My online banking is saved in my bookmarks. My password, too.”

I’d used the same password for almost everything since I was a teen—
freedom
. In retrospect I should have used something else, but I needed passwords for so many things, if I didn’t use the same one I’d never remember them all.

So. Stupid.

Nick and I were silent for a long moment, sitting there on the steps outside the small bank. We’d been silent on the car ride here too.

There was so much to say, and no way to say it.

When he had called this morning, he’d said he wanted to talk. Though just hearing his voice had sent me into a tailspin, had slammed me right back into the pain that leaving him had caused, I hadn’t been able to resist.

We hadn’t parted ways because of a big blow-up, more like the stereotypical “irreconcilable differences”.

He had wanted to forget everything that happened on his trip home to Fish Creek.

I hadn’t been able to forget. I never would

Too much had happened for us to ever be together again I was pretty sure about that. If I lingered on it, I was still furious that he’d run because he couldn’t reconcile a kiss with a man—a man he loved—with his image of himself.

A kiss he’d
asked
for. And he’d broken off a lifelong friendship over it. Though since we hadn’t spoken, I supposed that he and Jax could be likethis again and I’d have no idea.

They could even be together—like, dating together. Jax and I talked occasionally, but romance was not something that we ever mentioned.

Like,
ever
.

The thought left me feeling slightly nauseous. But still, I wanted to know why Nick wanted to talk to me now.

I really hoped we could salvage something from our relationship—that we could still be friends at least.

I’d never have admitted it out loud, but I missed him. All of him—not just the sex.

Okay, okay. I missed that too.

“What are you going to do?” Nick finally asked. A heavy sigh escaped my lips.

He already knew the answer. I would do what I always did when it came to my family—I would pretend they didn’t exist. I would let them step all over me because it was better than going back and facing down my demons. I’d visited twice over the years since I’d left, but both times had been when I’d known I would be safe, and because I’d felt a sense of obligation sucking at me, reminding me that I was a mother figure for Claire and Elisa, my youngest siblings.

This time though...

I couldn’t afford to ignore them this time, to wait until it was safe. TJ—well, I was pretty sure it was TJ—had gone too far.

I
needed
that money. Not that I was going to share my financial woes with Nick. And so I didn’t answer, shuddering instead.

“Kayla.” Nick’s voice had lowered, and I turned to find him staring at me with naked hunger on his face. His eyes traced the planes of my face, my neck, and I shivered as though he was touching me.

I was dying for someone to touch me.

Hesitantly, he held out his hand. I stared at it for a second, wondering what it was he was offering with that hand. Was it just comfort? Or was there something more?

I didn’t care. Lacing my fingers through his, I absorbed the warmth of someone who surely must care about me, at least a little bit. After all, he was here.

Feeling the skin of another human against my own for the first time in months had tears swimming in front of my eyes, threatening to spill over.

For one long moment I simply savoured that connection and willed the tears away.

“I don’t know what I’m going to do, Nick.” My voice sounded steadier than I felt. “I don’t have a fucking clue.” And then I laughed, the sound tinged with hysteria.

I always had a plan. Always. But I seriously had no idea what to do about the fact that I had no apartment, no one to turn to and, perhaps scariest of all, no money.

“Look.” The fingers laced with my own squeezed reassuringly. “The bank is closed until morning. There’s nothing else you can do for tonight. If it was someone in your family who took it, you should still be able to do something through the bank, without having to go back to Louisiana.”

Nick knew almost everything about my family, though he didn’t know my biggest secret. He knew enough to know I wouldn’t want to go back.

But... I didn’t know if Nick’s words applied, not if TJ had had my bank information. More likely they would find me negligent. Even if the bank returned my money, though...that wouldn’t stop my family from screwing me over again the next time.

And there was always a next time.

Frustration overtook me, the pressure building up inside until I was sure that I’d have to scream and scream to get it out.

No matter what I did, no matter where I went, I’d never be able to get away.

“Let me take to you dinner.” The fingers holding my own tugged as Nick stood, smiling down at me though his eyes stayed serious. “Sleep on it. You can’t do anything about it until the morning anyway.”

“Sleep on it,” I echoed, my voice bitter. “Right. I don’t have anywhere to sleep tonight.”

Panic begin to lick along my skin, small flames that steadily grew larger.

Oh my God. I was so
fucked
.

“Come home.” Nick’s voice cracked, right in between those two words. Sucking in my breath sharply, I looked him in the eye.

Surely he didn’t mean what I thought he meant.

He
couldn’t
. Not after what he’d put me through.

Under my amazed stare, he continued without pausing for breath.

“I mean, come crash for the night. I think I even still have a pair of your pajamas.” The energy stretching between us thickened with awkwardness.

Stay overnight in the apartment we’d once shared? It would be way too painful. How could I look at the bed that had been ours not knowing who was thinking of when he slept it now?

The idea that another woman—or even
women
, plural—had been in that bed made me want to snarl.

Or maybe it was men there now. How the hell was I supposed to know? And of course that thought brought to mind an image of Jax and Nick together, their lips pressed in a tentative kiss, Jax’s large hands threaded through Nick’s inky hair.

My internal temperature shot up to a fever pitch, and I was grateful for the chill of the early evening air.

“Stay... at the apartment?” My voice was thick, lust and nerves twined tightly together.

Damn him, it was the only option I had.

My mind raced frantically, trying to come up with some other course of action—any would do. I had no desire to go back to the apartment that I’d never really wanted to leave in the first place.

I’d been the one to break up with Nick, because I hadn’t been able to handle his complete and total denial of his feelings for Jax, which were complicated by the fact that he also had feelings for me. I’d insisted that I be the one to move out, both because I couldn’t stay there any longer, and because I couldn’t afford it.

Fuck my life.

“All right,” I finally replied, and felt my heart pound against my rib cage in response. This was a bad idea. This
had
to be a bad idea.

“Good.” Nick nodded briskly, though I caught the slight twitch in the muscles of his jaw that told me my answer had made him happy. “Dinner?”

“I could eat.” I finally agreed. Truth was, though I was queasy from the upheaval of the last hour, I hadn’t eaten anything since a piece of toast that morning, and I was starving.

I tried not to feel guilty that I wouldn’t be contributing to the meal. Nick had plenty of money.

I, on the other hand, had fifty dollars in my checking account, a crumpled twenty in my purse, and a sliver of room on my credit card. Oh yeah, and no home. Though I had a car, so I guessed I should have been thankful for that.

Fuck that. I wasn’t thankful for anything right at that moment. I wanted the nice life I’d had six months ago back.

“Give me just a sec.”

Nick waited silently while I withdrew the remaining cash from my account. The restaurant he’d made reservations at was just down the street, so I walked beside him, fighting the urge to lace my fingers in his again, to be comforted by the feel of skin against my own.

Those times were over, had been over ever since Nick and I had both kissed his best friend.