Tempted Again (23 page)

“You don’t even know what I was going to say.”

“Yes, I do. After twenty-five years of marriage, I know. Let’s not argue in front of the sheriff.” She sent a pointed look at Connor.

“Why?” Marissa’s father countered. “What’s he going to do? Shoot us?”

Marissa wondered if Connor was tempted. What was a person to do when Parents Behaved Badly? This all seemed like a page from a reality show or something. A bad dream, perhaps.

“I’m unarmed at the moment,” Connor said.

“Don’t pick on him,” Jess said. “It’s just Daddy being Daddy.”

“You always take his side,” Marissa’s mom said.

“Delicious cake,” Marissa said, frantically trying to redirect the conversation. “Did you do something different with the recipe this year?”

It actually worked. “No, I used the same recipe. You just haven’t had my red velvet cake for a while. Remember that cake with the pyramids on it for your eighth birthday?” Marissa’s mom asked her.

“Why did you want a pyramid on your cake?” Jess asked.

“It was Dad’s idea,” Marissa said. She’d really wanted
a German chocolate cake but that request had gone unnoticed.

“We’ll have to make one for you this year, Marissa,” her mom said.

“No, that’s okay,” Marissa hurriedly said. Everyone at her birthday party had made fun of her for weeks afterward because of that cake.

“It’ll be fun,” her mom said,
No, it won’t.
Marissa wanted to say the words aloud but didn’t want to hurt her mom’s feelings. Since they’d had that cloud-gazing episode in the park yesterday, her mom had seemed calmer and happier. Until the flare-up with her dad today.

“I hate to eat and run,” Jess said.

“Then don’t,” their mom said. “You haven’t even finished your slice of cake. At least do that before you take off.”

“Can I take some more slices with me to share with the Roberts brothers?”

“Sure. I’ll package up the rest of the cake to take with you. But first you have to open your presents.”

Marissa had gotten Jess an iTunes gift card.

“Thanks,” Jess said before instantly turning to her next present.

“I brought flowers for you,” Connor said. “I left them in the car.”

“I thought you and Marissa already went outside to get what you left in the car.”

“They got distracted,” Marissa’s mom said.

“Oh yeah?” Jess grinned. “Did you catch them making out on the front porch like a couple of teenagers?”

“My lips are sealed,” their mom said.

“Were Marissa’s lips sealed for the kiss?” Jess said.

Marissa jabbed her sister. “Jess! Shut up!”

Jess jabbed her right back like they’d done as kids. “You can’t tell me to shut up on my birthday.”

“Yes, I can.”

“I’m gonna go get those flowers now,” Connor said.

“You be sure to come back now,” Marissa’s mom said, sounding very Southern all of a sudden. “We certainly don’t want to say or do anything to scare you away.”

Marissa wanted to crawl under the table or race out the front door. Neither option was possible however. “Behave,” she ordered her family.

“You behave,” Jess said. “You’re the one making out with the town sheriff on the front porch, where anyone could see you. Oh, those are lovely, Connor,” Jess said as he returned to hand her a mixed bouquet of flowers in various shades of pink and purple.

“I’m glad you like them.” He resumed his seat and smiled at Marissa.

While Jess focused on unwrapping her next present, Marissa leaned closer to Connor to whisper, “You should have made a break for it while you had the chance.”

“I couldn’t leave you behind,” he said.

But of course he had left her behind a decade ago. Walked out on her.

Why couldn’t she want to bed a guy without a history with her? Why did it have to be her first love?

Jess exclaimed her pleasure at the large gift card from her favorite online retailer as well as a one-gallon tin of her favorite Kernel Fabulous gourmet popcorn. “White Cheddar. My favorite!”

“I wasn’t sure if it was this or the Caramel Combo you liked best,” their mom said.

“Thanks, Mom.” Jess stood to give her a hug before saying, “I hate to eat and run but I have to go.”

“Let me pack up the cake for you to take with you. I’ll just be a minute,” their mom said.

The minute their mom was gone, Jess turned her attention to Connor. “So you and my sister were making out on the front porch, huh?”

“Do not answer that,” Marissa warned him.

“You know, the rules of courtship and marriage in ancient Egypt are actually quite interesting,” Marissa’s dad said. “Unlike ancient Greece where women had few rights, in ancient Egypt women could marry for love, could own property and retain those property rights after marriage. She could even initiate a divorce. If the divorce was the man’s idea, then he had to return her dowry if there was one and had to pay a fine.”

“Those were the days,” Marissa said.

“Not that all men obeyed those rules about paying the fine,” her dad added before quickly closing his mouth when her mom returned to the room.

“There were deadbeats even back in those days,” Jess said as she gathered up her birthday goodies and put them in a large shopping bag their mom provided.

“Who’s a deadbeat?” Marissa’s mom asked.

“Never mind,” Jess said, kissing her on the cheek. “Thanks again for everything. You too, Marissa.” Jess gave her a quick hug but broke it off before Marissa had time to hug her back. “And you, Connor.” Jess’s hug with Connor was longer.

Marissa could tell by the gleam in her younger sister’s eyes that she was trying to push Marissa’s buttons.

Marissa refused to let her.

Not tonight.

Tonight Marissa was going to take a page out of her sister’s book and enjoy life without worrying about the consequences.

“We should be going as well,” Marissa said.

“I understand. You two probably want to be alone.” Her mom nodded her approval.

“Let me know if you’d like some more information about ancient Egyptian marriage,” her dad said.

“Marriage is a four-letter word for me right now,” Marissa firmly stated. “Been there, done that, not going to make that mistake again.”

“But you’ll get married again someday,” her mom said. “Because marriage can be a good thing, right, Connor?”

“Why are you asking Connor?” Marissa said. “He’s never been married.”

Apparently fearing a discussion about matrimony, Connor took Marissa’s arm and led her toward the front door and away from her prying family.

“I’ll call you,” her mom said.

It was only when Marissa was halfway out the door that she realized she hadn’t hugged her parents good-bye. But they were already engaged in their now-customary bickering so she made her escape.

“Wise move,” Connor said approvingly.

“I’m sorry about that.”

“About what?”

“About my family,” she said. “About the marriage thing.”

“No problem.”

“They don’t usually argue like that. Well, they have since I’ve come back to Hopeful but I don’t remember
them doing that when we were growing up. I’m not sure what’s going on with them.”

“Are you still upset I came?”

“No.” She trailed her fingertips along his cheek. “I’m glad you did.”

Was she falling for Connor? If not, she was getting damn close. What did it mean that she was feeling equal parts panic and passion?

“I’ll see you back at our place,” he said, opening her car door for her.

She got in. Her demon car turned over right away and the song “Halfway Gone” by Lifehouse started playing.

She reached her apartment building by the time the song was done. The instant she parked she got a text message. Thinking it might be Connor, she checked only to find that it was from a coworker at her old library.

Ur ex married slut. Thought u’d want to no.

Marissa’s mind went blank and her body went cold. It wasn’t like she still loved her ex. Obviously he thought Marissa was easy to replace.

A knock on her window startled her.

“Everything okay?” Connor asked.

“Absolutely.” She grabbed her purse and followed Connor upstairs.

She welcomed his kiss the instant she unlocked her door. It made her feel wanted and desired. Made her feel like she wasn’t a failure as a woman.

Pulling him inside, she kept her mouth against his, murmuring her pleasure as he kicked the door shut with his foot and kept his attention totally focused on her. She
heard the
thump
of her purse as she dropped it to the floor. He nudged the neckline on her fuchsia top out of his way so he could caress her through the silk of her bra.

Moments later, she helped him tug her top completely off. He quickly undid the buttons on his shirt and placed her hand on his bare chest. He back stepped her down the hallway toward her bedroom. She made no protest.

He shoved her capri pants off before helping her remove his jeans. He had to pause to kick off his shoes. And all the while they kept kissing. His tongue tussled with hers as he removed the phone she still held in her hand and tossed it onto the nightstand. He lowered her onto her bed and followed her, urging her body into the cradle of his hips.

She could feel his arousal through the thin cotton of their underwear. What was she doing? Could she have sex without love? Did she love him? What if he broke her heart? What if he slept with her and then dumped her?

Passion and panic. Panic and passion. Panic and
panic
.

Marissa couldn’t breathe. She turned her head away, breaking off their kiss to gasp, “I’m sorry! I can’t do this!”

Chapter Fifteen

“What?”
Connor’s voice was unsteady as he hovered above her, his lower totally aroused body still pressed against hers.

“I’m sorry.” The nervous words tumbled from Marissa’s mouth. “I’m not ready. I thought I was, but I’m not.”

“You sure seemed ready a second ago.”

“I know.”

“Then what happened?”

“I can’t explain.” She pushed him aside and scrambled off the bed.

“Yes, you can.” Connor moved after her and in doing so, knocked her cell phone off the nightstand. As he picked it up, he saw a text still displayed on the screen. Marissa tried to grab it before he could read it but he held it over her head.

“So this was all about your ex getting married?” he
growled. “You get a text with the info and you suddenly want to get between the sheets with me?”

“No, it’s not like that.”

“Looks like that to me.” He angrily tossed her phone onto the bed before grabbing his jeans and yanking them on.

“Let me explain.”

“Don’t bother.” He reached for his shirt and shoes, not bothering to put them on.

“I didn’t plan this.”

“You could have fooled me. In fact, you did fool me. I thought you were into this…” He gestured toward her bed. “But it was all an act. Did you think sex with me would make your ex jealous? Was it your way of getting back at him? If he was going to be with someone else, then you were, too?”

“If that was the case then I would have jumped into bed with someone months ago.”

“Maybe you were waiting for the right moment,” he said.

“I thought this was the right moment…”

“But you were wrong. And so was I to think you were over that asshole you married.”

“I
am
over him.”

“Right. And that’s why you climbed into bed with me before getting cold feet at the last second.”

“This has nothing to do with him.”

“That’s a lie and you know it.”

She shoved her hand through her hair. “Okay, so it does have something to do with him but not in the way you think.” How could she explain her panic to him when she couldn’t even really explain it to herself?

“I don’t want to hear it.” He headed out of the bedroom.

She trailed after him. “I’m sorry.”

“Yeah, me, too.”

He slammed her front door on his way out, emphasizing his anger and frustration. She didn’t blame him. What was wrong with her? Was she ever going to regain her confidence or would she always be this mess of confusion? Had she simply tried to move too fast? Was that it? Did she merely need more time? Was Connor right when he accused her of jumping into bed with him because her ex had remarried?

Was she insulted that Brad had replaced her so easily? Was this all about proving that she was worthy of a man’s attention?

Marissa didn’t even realize she was crying until she tasted the saltiness of her tears on her lips…lips still swollen from the intense hunger of Connor’s kiss.

She wished she could just jump into her car and run away from all this. But her rust bucket totally lime VW probably wouldn’t make it very far and her problems were within her. Which meant she couldn’t run from them.

She remembered one of the
Peanuts
cartoons on her old bedroom wall where Linus says, “No problem is so big or so complicated that it can’t be run away from.”

Too bad that wasn’t really true.

*  *  *

“Thanks for meeting with me,” Marissa told Deb as they sat together at Cups Café half an hour later. “I know it’s kind of late.”