Tempting BAD: VIP Spin Off (16 page)

She smiled. “Are you sure? Ysabelle won’t mind? Every time she is around her, she gets all antsy and nervous. She has yet to hold her and kinda avoids her like the plague.”

I laughed. “She just doesn’t understand kids, she’s fine. And why does everyone think that Ysabelle is my girlfriend?” I questioned, annoyed, placing Deahna on the ground.

“Well you’re always together… so…”

“Momma, I like Bell,” Deahna babbled.

“I know, baby;
Beauty and the Beast
is your favorite.”

She happily nodded.

“For the hundredth time, she is not my girlfriend; we’re friends.”

“Whatever,” they said in unison, not believing me.

“Well I like her and she seems good for you,” Liv added.

“Will you please stop?”

“I can’t hear this anymore; I’m going to shower. You talk some sense into your stubborn brother,” Mom chimed in, walking away and Deahna following closely behind.

Lauren and Alexis walked in together and I had a feeling this was about to get worse.

“Hey, big brother,” Lauren greeted, kissing me on the cheek and then Alexis pulled me into a tight hug.

“Why do you guys look like something bad happened?” Alexis asked, smiling.

“Because, our dear older brother is yet to settle down. Tell him how much you guys like Ysabelle and maybe it will help.”

Their eyes widened. “YES!” They both screamed together.

“So what? This is gang up on Devon day?”

Lauren cocked her head to the side. “No, not at all; it’s just that we want to see you happy, Devon. You can’t enjoy not coming home to someone. All you do is work and that’s not healthy.”

“Please don’t psychoanalyze me. Not right now.”

They sighed.

“Dev, we lived through it, too,” Liv announced, catching me off guard.

“What?” I retorted.

“I mean, I obviously don’t remember as much as you guys do, but I remember enough. Dad… Dad was… he was… I mean, you know,” she mumbled, not able to say the words.

“We never talk about it, ever,” Alexis confided.

“There’s nothing to talk about,” I declared.

“Are you serious? Come on, Devon, we lived with you; we’ve all spent nights at your apartment, several times. We know the nightmares, and we’ve seen the medication you were on. You got the brunt of it more than any of us, other than Mom,” Lauren proclaimed, letting her words sink. “I remember everything. I hated him, I hate him, just as much as you do, and even though he never put his hands on us girls, it didn’t matter because we felt every strike and scream. So please… we get it, okay… but you can’t keep hiding and not letting anyone in. We all want to see you happy. You’re almost thirty-one years old. We don’t want to see you die alone. You have done everything for us and none of us can ever even come close to repaying you. You stepped into being a father for us, Dev. One we never had. I know you’re my brother, but sometimes I see you as my dad; we all do.”

Her words nearly brought me to tears. I never knew any of them felt that way. I had assumed, but hearing her say the words and having them all agree was hard but comforting to hear at the same time. It was a conflicting emotion that I hadn’t expected to feel. Ever.

“Girls, I love all of you and you know that. I’ll always be here for you, but there are things that I won’t discuss with you or Mom. I can’t… so please try to understand.”

They nodded in agreement, but their faces read otherwise. I recognized it immediately. They were sad for me.

“Just keep in my mind we’re here. Whenever you need us,” Liv asserted, pulling me into a hug, and all of them quickly followed suit.

I held the women I loved more than life itself in my arms.

And that was good enough for me.

Two plus signs.

A smiley face.

One plus sign.

Two pink lines.

One pink line.

And then the word…

Pregnant.

Clear as day for me to read. I took six different pregnancy tests and they all reported back the same exact thing.

Pregnant.

Knocked up.

With child.

Bun in the oven.

Bastard.

Two more years went by. I was twenty-two years old and had been with VIP for almost four years. I had been
with
Jaxon for a little over two years. I used the word
with
loosely, because we were never really together. At least not in the way I wanted, not in the way he promised. Every time he left me it became harder, and more difficult for me to function. My mind became consumed with the promises. I borderline obsessed when it would happen.

So I came up with my own plan… I decided to get pregnant. I didn’t do it to trap him… I did it to speed up the process of us being together. To give him the ammunition he needed, the push we deserved. He took me away on a business trip and I told him that I had forgotten my birth control pills, but it was a lie. I had stopped taking them. It was a test, so to speak. We were
careful
, but not entirely.

A huge part of me believed that he wanted it as much as I did. He just couldn’t bring himself to say the words. It was much easier to pretend like we were being careful… and there I was, six weeks later, taking positive pregnancy stick, after positive stick.

Thankful.

Delighted.

Comforted.

In ways Jaxon never produced.

“Hey there, pretty girl,” he greeted, answering his phone.

“Hi,” I replied, barely containing my excitement.

“You sound chipper.”

I smiled. “I’m pregnant,” I blurted.

He was silent on the other end, but I knew he was still on the phone; I could hear his breathing. However
,
I didn’t comprehend the silence.

“Is everything alright?” I asked, sitting down on my couch and looking at the sticks, displayed all across my coffee table.

“Are you sure?” he answered in a neutral tone.

“I haven’t been to the doctor, but I have six sticks in front of me that have confirmed.”

“Six?” he replied taken back.

“Yes… six.”

He was quiet again and it made me nervous. “I thought you would be happy.”

“Brooke… I am… I am happy… it’s just very unexpected.”

“You said you wanted babies with me. I believe your exact word you used was four.”

“I know, baby,” he paused for a few seconds. “I’m just surprised. Does Madam know?” he questioned out of nowhere.

“No…”

“Are you going to tell her?”

“Of course, but I wanted to tell you first.”

“How do you think she will take it?”

My eyebrows lowered and my lips pursed. “Jaxon, why are you more concerned with Madam than our baby? Am I reading this wrong, because that’s how it feels.”

“I’m sorry. Can we meet at our place tomorrow at noon? So we can talk.”

“Okay… what exactly do we need to discuss?”

“Brooke, we need to figure everything out. For the future.”

“I thought I was your future?”

“Of course. You are. We’ll talk about it all tomorrow, alright?”

I nodded, unable to reply.

“Brooke… I love you. You know that. Please tell me you know that.”

“I do.”

“Tell me you love me.”

“I love you,” I stated, meaning every word. “I’ll see you tomorrow.”

I spent the rest of the day on pins and needles, rubbing my belly for the endless possibilities.

I waited for him in our suite at The W, dressed in a red nightie. He loved me in red. When the door opened and I saw his face, I knew that this wasn’t going to be what I had prayed for, what I had wanted for so long. It was when I saw the dozen red roses that he held in his hands, that my mind went back to another place in time.

“What?” I questioned, with my nerves a jumbled mess and my heart beating out of my chest.

He sat down next to me and pulled my hands up to his face, kissing them all over. “You look gorgeous.”

I smiled and my nerves subsided a little. But I couldn’t stop staring at the roses he placed on the table, next to the pregnancy sticks I had brought for him to see.

“I love you. I never thought I would… I could… love someone as much as I love you.”

I grinned, trying to keep my gaze on him. “The feeling is very much mutual, Jaxon.”

He paused for a minute, to look over the sticks that shared our hopeful future. Together. As a family.

He looked at them like I looked at the roses and I should have known…

“But baby, we can’t do this,” he informed me, with little to no reserve or compassion for what he was declaring.

My mouth immediately went dry. “What do you mean? What are you saying?”

“I’m saying that we need to take care of the situation. Do you understand?”

My eyes widened and I forcefully removed my hands away from his loving grasp. “An abortion? You want me to get rid of it?”

He licked his lips and lowered his eyes. He didn’t want to look at me, like it caused him pain to say what he was saying. I didn’t understand why he was even expressing it, if he didn’t mean it.

Nothing made sense.

Not his actions.

Not his stares.

And especially…

Not his words.

I didn’t recognize the man sitting before me. It was as if he were a stranger, not the person who I had given my heart and soul to.

He looked back up at me with sad, almost regretful eyes. “Yes, that’s what I’m asking. That’s what needs to be done.”

“Why? You said! You promised! You told me… you told me you loved me! That you wanted this! That you wanted us!” I screamed not being able to control my emotions and anger.

“I do, baby, I do. Please calm down,” he coaxed, trying to grab me again. I roughly pushed him away and got off the couch.

“You lied to me! You have done nothing but lie to me and play me for a fool, haven’t you?”

“That’s not true and you know it.”

“Really? Then why are you asking me to kill our baby? Why are you telling me to do this?” I pleaded, needing to understand.

“Because it’s not the right time,” he simply stated.

“Not the right time? When would the right time be? It’s been over two years and you’re still with your wife. I’m still your mistress. Is that all I am, your whore? Your VIP? Is that the way you see me?”

“Never.”

“Bullshit.”

He was over to me in three strides. “I fucking love you! Do not ever doubt me or that,” he emphasized, grabbing the sides of my face.

“Then please don’t ask me to do this. I can’t. I don’t want to. I want to be with you. This baby came from our love, Jaxon. Don’t make me get rid of it.”

He kissed all over my face. “Just please… try to understand. I don’t have a choice. This isn’t the right time.”

“Then when? When will be the right time? Huh?”

“That’s not fair Brooke and you know it. I have too much to lose.”

“And what about me? Am I not worth it? Aren’t you afraid to lose me?”

“I’m sorry… please… just do this, for me, for us. I promise it won’t be like this forever.”

“You don’t know what you’re asking.”

He nodded. “I do. I will be with you every step of the way. I promise. We will do this together, I will make all the arrangements and handle everything, I promise.”

Tears fell loosely down my face. “But I love you…”

“I love you, too,” he expressed, wiping away my tears. “We will be okay and we have plenty of time for children. I promise you; one day we will have it all. Trust me; believe in me, as much as I believe in us. Can you do that? Give me a little more time?”

I looked down at the ground. “Yes,” I whispered.

There was nothing left for me to say. All I could do was believe him and trust that everything would turn out as he promised. I didn’t have another choice.

He made love to me all afternoon and well into the evening. He kissed my belly, told me how much he loved me.

The future.

He promised.

Ours.

He said.

Mine.

He repeated.

Yours.

He confessed.

With each caress, I felt his love again. The same connection I had felt since day one. When we were together, nothing else mattered. The world kept going and we stayed in place; side-by-side with just our whispers and sighs.