Tempting Cameron (14 page)

A soft knock sounded on her front door, startling her, and she sat up, tossed the pillow back into place. Glancing at the clock, she saw that at least fifteen minutes had passed since she last looked at it. She must’ve fallen asleep.

Running a hand over her hair, she checked herself in the mirror over her dresser. She looked a mess. No makeup, her hair in a haphazard ponytail, ratty old sleep shorts on and wearing her favorite tank top, the one Cam had taken one glance at her in and nearly lost it.

Yeah, she looked just great.

Another knock sounded and she grabbed an old gray zip up hoodie, throwing it on over her tank so she wouldn’t flash nipple shots at whoever was waiting on the other side of the door. Probably Ali, who couldn’t stand the thought of her being alone or worse, it might be Mac, who felt some sort of weird responsibility to make sure she was okay.

“I can’t shake any of you, can I?” she asked as she threw open the door.

But it wasn’t Alison or Mac standing on her doorstep.

It was Cameron.

“Hey.” That sexy, smoky voice made her stomach flip. His intense green gaze met hers, all the worry and apprehension clouding his eyes making her feel oddly reassured. “Were you expecting someone?”

She shook her head, her voice abandoning her. He looked so good. Haggard and worried, his golden brown hair was a tousled mess. Dark circles under his eyes, as if he’d gone without sleep, too, and he still hadn’t shaved, which meant he practically had a full-on beard covering his face.

It was still a beautiful face.

He shoved his hands into the front pockets of his jeans. “Do you have a minute?”

Nodding, she tried to swallow past the lump in her throat. She’d imagined this moment again and again, wondering if it would ever happen. She’d gone through all the emotions. Anger, sadness, elation, frustration, curiosity as to which one she would feel the next time she saw him.

She hadn’t expected the pure, unadulterated joy flowing through her veins at finding him on her doorstep.

A funny little smile appeared. “Can I come in?”

Opening the door wider for him, she let him walk in and she closed her eyes, his scent washing over her, making her knees weaken. She shut the door and leaned against it, watching as he walked into the center of her living room, slowly turning around to face her.

“Did you lose your voice? Or are you still so mad at me you can’t even speak?”

“I’m—I’m not mad.” It startled her that he cut right to the chase. Rather unlike the Cameron she knew and had grown used to. “I just don’t understand why you had to hide that from me, Cam. That’s what hurts the most.”

His gaze dimmed and he hung his head. “I was going to tell you, I swear it. That night, I warred with myself. I was drunk, mad, and so totally gone for you. I knew I needed to come clean but then everything else happened and we…well. I got too caught up in you.”

His words cracked her heart right open. God, she missed him. “We’ve both made mistakes.”

“Yeah. Mine bigger than yours.”

“No less hurtful, though.” He lifted his head, his gaze meeting hers as she continued. “We need to be honest with each other.”

“I’m sorry,” he said. “I am so damn sorry I kept the truth from you. Sorry I said those horrible things in the first place. I never meant to hurt you.”

“I never meant to hurt you, either, Cam,” she confessed softly. “So I guess we’re even.”

“Is that what this is, then? We’ve hurt each other, we’ve apologized, and now we’re through?” He sounded irritated.

She stiffened her spine, confusion swirling within her. What did he want from her? “If you came here to fight, I’m not in the mood.” She started toward the kitchen, desperate for a glass of water to ease her suddenly parched throat.

He grabbed her by the crook of her arm as she tried to pass. “I didn’t come here to fight.”

His touch burned into her skin and she extracted herself from his grip shakily. “Then why are you here, Cameron?” She expected some sort of bogus answer.

“I wanted to see you.” His gaze roved over her face, as if memorizing her features. “I missed you.”

His straightforward honesty threw her. She didn’t know how to reply, too afraid to admit the truth that she missed him as well. “I’m thirsty,” she blurted, felt her cheeks heat. “Want a glass of water?”

“Yeah, sure.”

He followed her into the kitchen, his nearness distracting. So tall, so broad, he seemed to fill her entire kitchen. She went to the cupboard to grab two glasses, trying her best to remain calm. Appear unruffled.

She filled the glasses with ice and water from the refrigerator, then passed him one. Her hand shook, the ice rattling, and he took it from her, his fingers sliding over hers.

“Thanks.” He set the glass on the counter behind him, didn’t even bother to drink it, and took her hand in both of his, his thumbs slowly stroking her skin. “I’m making you nervous.”

Chloe nodded, drained half her glass before setting it on the counter beside his. “I—I don’t know what to say to you.”

The pained expression on his face matched the pain in her heart. “I hate that you feel this way.” He paused, squeezing her hand. “I’d say I’m sorry again but I think we’re past that. And it feels…trite.”

She remained silent, savoring the sensation of his rough hands touching her, his calloused fingers sliding over hers.

“You need to know that I wasn’t faking it,” he said, his voice quiet, calm. Soothing her frazzled nerves. “Spending time with you changed me, Chloe.”

Nodding, she pressed her lips together, could feel her chin trembling. She refused to lose it in front of him.

“I’m going back to work,” he continued. He entwined her fingers with his and held her hand. “I leave tomorrow.”

Dread sunk her heart to her toes. He was leaving. She knew he would but so soon? Did this have to do with what happened between them? “Where are you going?”

“New York. I start a new assignment next week.”

“It’s—it’s not overseas, is it?” The idea of him going back to Afghanistan—or somewhere even more dangerous—nearly sent her reeling. What if he never came back?

What if she lost him forever?

He shook his head. “I’m never going there again. Though the assignment is war-related, a piece for a national magazine. I’m traveling with a reporter and we’ll be visiting veterans all over the country. The article will focus on the impact of war on these soldiers, most of them young, in their early twenties. I’ll photograph them, candid shots and portraits, capture snippets of their life. That sort of thing.”

Relief made her smile. “I’m sure it’ll be amazing.”

He returned the smile, his fingers tightening around hers. “I hope so. I’m excited.”

She believed him. Since he’d come home, he rarely talked about photography, his job, any of it. It had once been his passion and it seemed to have died when he had his accident. Maybe even before that, he’d lost the joy.

How she hoped he’d gain some of that back.

“I’m happy for you.” And she was. Even if it meant losing him…not that she ever really had him anyway. “Your new assignment sounds great. Very healing.”

“Yeah.” He tugged on her hand, bringing her a little closer.

Making her heart beat a little faster.

“Healing for you,” she added.

“I guess so.” His expression became thoughtful and he gave her a lopsided smile.

She smiled in return, didn’t say anything. Didn’t think anything more needed to be said. Decided to bask in his presence instead. Sometimes, words got in the way, especially between them.

Cam slowly shook his head, his smile growing. “I swear, you know me better than anyone else. Sometimes I think you know me better than I know myself.”

“I spent a lot of years observing you,” she said wryly.

“And I spent a lot of years ignoring you.”

Her smile faded. “Cam…”

“It’s true. I have a lot of time to make up for.” He gently pulled her in and she went without hesitation. Until she stood so close to him, she could feel his body heat, his denim-covered thigh brushing between her bare legs. “I’ve wasted a lot of years searching when you were right here all along.”

She swallowed hard, tried to get past the lump in her throat, but it was so hard. What he said gave her so much hope. Too much. “How long will you be gone?”

“Two weeks.” His thumb drifted across her knuckles, sending all rational thought scattering. All she could focus on was him, how he touched her, how he looked at her.

Like she was the most precious wonder in his world.

“Will you come back?” She held her breath the second she asked the question, scared to hear his answer.

He paused, his gaze locking with hers. “Do you want me to come back?”

“It doesn’t matter what I want, Cam,” she murmured. “What do
you
want?” She refused to ask him to return to her.

Cameron needed to come to that conclusion on his own.

“I want to come back to you, Chloe.” He touched her face with his free hand, cupping her cheek. “If you’ll have me.”

Chapter Thirteen

Cam had meant to say that he loved her. But like the chicken he was, he’d copped out at the last minute.

Why couldn’t he face her and say it?

The soft look in Chloe’s eyes told him he hadn’t screwed up, though. He was the luckiest man in the world. She’d accepted him into her home so easily when she could’ve told him to go to hell.

He would’ve deserved it.

She’d given him another chance. He’d hated telling her he was leaving but she’d been so encouraging. So…Chloe.

Closing his eyes, he drew her into his arms, crushing her to him, clinging to her as if she were his lifeline and he couldn’t survive without her. Which he supposed was true, since the idea of Chloe suddenly not being there sent panic sweeping through him.

“Cam,” she murmured against his chest. “I can’t breathe.”

“Neither can I,” he whispered, relaxing his grip on her but still keeping her close. “The last few days being without you, I could hardly breathe at all.” The ball of anxiety that had rested in the center of his chest slowly dissipated the longer she remained in his arms, the longer he inhaled the scent of her, the very essence of her.

He never wanted to let her go.

She melted against him, burrowed her face against his shirtfront and sighed, a sweet, sexy little sound that made his entire body stiffen with need. “I’ve missed you, too,” she whispered.

Swallowing hard, he smoothed his hand over her hair. He wanted her. She’d said she loved him, but had it been an admission in the heat of the moment?

Resolve filling him, he knew he needed to tell her how he felt. And he would. But not now. First, he needed to show her.

With little effort he picked her up, his hands gripping her backside as he deposited her on the tiled kitchen counter. She yelped when the back of her thighs hit the cold tile, her hands tightening on his shoulders as if she might slide off.

“What are you doing?” she asked, her expression incredulous.

“What does it look like I’m doing?” Cam stepped into her and she spread her legs so he stood in between them, their faces level. Her warm, velvety gaze met his, full of light. She slid her hands so they clasped the back of his neck, her fingers moving into his hair and he closed his eyes, savoring her caress.

“You have the best hair,” she whispered as she ran her fingers through it again and again. “So soft and shiny.”

He didn’t want to talk about his hair. He didn’t want to talk about anything. A few hours remained before Mindy took him to Sacramento. Where he would get on a plane and fly clear across the country and leave this place far behind. Gone for two weeks from this very woman who had become his lifeline.

His everything.

Reaching in between them, he played with the zipper of her hoodie where it rested just above her breasts, intrigued by all the bare skin exposed. “What are you wearing under this?” He really hoped nothing.

“Unzip it and find out,” she said, a little breathless.

His gaze locked on the path of the zipper as he slowly drew it down, revealing that she wore his absolute favorite piece of clothing she owned—the thin white tank she’d worn that night, the one that had nearly done him in when he realized he could see right through it.

“I bet you were hoping I was naked.”

Lifting his lids, his eyes locked with hers and he smiled. “You’re a mind reader.” Reaching out, he touched her, skimmed his finger beneath one of the thin straps, loving that he could feel her shiver. “I leave in a few hours, Chloe.”

Her eyes widened, she pressed her lips together. “For Sacramento? To the airport?”

Slowly he nodded, nudged the strap off her shoulder. Pushed at the hoodie so she shrugged it off and let it fall onto the counter, the zipper clattering against the tile. “Mindy’s driving me there.”

“Oh.” She nibbled her lower lip. Which of course, meant he wanted to nibble it too. “Do you want me to drive you?”

“No.” The disappointment on her face was obvious and he leaned in close, brushed her mouth with his. God, she tasted sweet. “I wouldn’t want you driving back home alone. I’d worry about you.”

“But not your sister?”

He wrapped his arms around her, pulling her toward him so her bent legs bracketed his hips, her breasts brushed against his chest. A wave of possessiveness swept over him. He didn’t like the thought of Chloe alone anywhere. “Mindy can take care of herself.”

“And I can’t?” Her delicate brows rose, her expression challenging.

“Oh, you definitely can.” He kissed the tip of her nose. “But I’d worry about you the entire flight. And if we’re about to do what I’m hoping, then I’m going to need to get some sleep on that plane.”

The slow, sensuous smile she gave him read that she approved of his unspoken idea. “What would you like to do, Cam?”

His gaze dropped to her mouth. “I don’t know. Maybe talk? Watch a little TV?”

“Are you teasing me?” She tilted her head. “Is stoic, grim Cameron McKenzie actually joking around?”

“I can have a sense of humor.” Leaning in, he angled his head, his mouth so close to hers he could practically taste her. “Though I don’t feel much like laughing at this particular moment.”

Lifting her chin, she pressed her lips to his, a simple, downright chaste kiss that he felt to his very depths. He cradled her face in his hands, their lips still connected, cherishing her, wanting her to know how much she meant to him.

Hoping she knew how much he would miss her when he was gone.

He deepened the kiss, desperate to convey all the love he felt for her with his lips and tongue. Words didn’t come to him easily, they never had. She’d complained over his lack of communication skills the night of Jane’s reception.

But he could show her. Oh, how could he show her…

“Touch me,” he urged minutes later when he finally broke the kiss, his mouth on her fragrant neck, his breathing ragged. “I need to feel your hands on me, Chloe.”

She slipped them beneath his shirt, smoothed her hands up his back, scraping his skin lightly with her fingernails. A shiver stole over him and he groaned, kissing her, devouring her, and then she was trying to tug his shirt off, her little whimpers of frustration arousing him.

Pulling away from her, he tore his shirt off and it fell to the floor. Her eyes lit with pleasure as she drank him in, a soft sigh escaping her when she finally met his gaze. “You have a beautiful body,” she admitted, her cheeks immediately turning pink at her confession.

He loved that she still blushed. That she wasn’t some blatant, bored, jaded woman, which had been his usual type. The ones who had little expectations beyond their own sexual satisfaction, they were easy.

Thankfully he’d discovered being with Chloe was the best kind of complicated.

…

Chloe was completely surrounded by Cameron, consumed by him. His strong arms came back around her, his mouth fused with hers. The days without him had felt like a lifetime. She’d thought a lot about what happened between them during that time. How hurt she’d initially been at his deceit. Never would she want Cam to feel sorry for her or spend time with her out of some sense of guilt.

But within that short amount of time came clarity. All those words exchanged in the parking lot at The Tree had come tumbling back. She’d pushed and he’d pushed back. Tremendously.

Painfully.

Dealing with Cam was like trying to tame a wild animal, she’d discovered over the course of the summer. Get a little too close and he’d snarl in warning. But patient consistency eventually tamed him. Calmed him.

And those last few days with Cam before she discovered the truth, she knew she’d had him eating out of her hand.

She could forgive him for wanting to protect her—and yes, protect himself. He was human, after all, and full of flaws. So was she. She’d built up this illusion of Cam. That he was bigger, greater, more perfect than any other man in the world. All constructed since she was a teen, when she’d idealized him.

Spending time with him made her realize he was fragile. And most definitely not perfect. She loved all those imperfections. He was too impulsive, a bit rash, could lash out for no reason other than he felt attacked. Stubborn too, and not necessarily open with his feelings, which left her confused more often than not.

Then there were all those good things. His protectiveness, his wry humor, how sweetly romantic he really was, though he’d never admit it and she wouldn’t call him out on it, either. Let him think he was a macho, pushy man—which he could be, too. She’d never disagree with that assessment.

But she knew the truth. Cameron McKenzie was a softie when it came to her. How she loved that about him.

More than anything, she loved him.

She trailed her fingers down the center of his chest, his stomach, until they landed on the waistband of his jeans. She curled her hand around the soft denim, her knuckles brushing against his stomach, and she felt him shiver at the seemingly innocent touch.

It wasn’t innocent, though. She knew exactly what she was doing. With nimble fingers, she undid the button, slid down the zipper. He broke their kiss, his breathing frantic, his eyes blazing with unrestrained heat. “Let’s take this to the bedroom.”

Chloe frowned. She’d kinda hoped they would get a little carried away on the kitchen counter, but he had a point. Her bed was much more comfortable. “Carry me there,” she murmured, wrapping her arms and legs around him tightly. “Hurry.”

He swooped her into his arms, his big hands cradling her backside as he walked through her tiny house with determined strides. She pressed her face against his strong neck, breathing in his masculine scent, and she closed her eyes against the tears that threatened.

She didn’t want him to go, had no right to ask him to stay. This was his career he was leaving for. It was important to him. She wasn’t about to become one of those demanding women who made ultimatums. That sort of behavior didn’t work on Cam.

So she would do her best to be agreeable but not a pushover. Supportive but not clingy. It would be the hardest challenge she’d ever face. But she knew Cam was worth it.

The two of them together were worth it.

He stopped at the foot of the bed, relaxing his hold on her, and she slid down his body slowly, savoring the hard, delicious feel of him. With a smile, she pushed him so he went sprawling onto the bed. All big and muscly as he lay there with a shocked smile on his face, his jeans undone, revealing a hint of his lower belly, his feet bare, since he’d just kicked off his shoes.

“Planning to have your way with me?” He spread out his arms like some sort of offering and a shiver moved through her.

“If you’ll let me.” She slowly approached, crawling onto the bed, crawling over him so she could straddle his hips, rest her hands on his hard chest.

His eyes glowed with a sincerity that almost frightened her. “I’ll let you do whatever you want. I’m all yours.”

Only for the next few hours.
She pushed the distressing thought from her mind and concentrated on the here and now. Bending over him, she put her face up to his, memorizing those handsome features that were so dear to her. His hot green gaze burned into her and he lifted his hips subtly, letting her know how much he wanted her.

He gripped her by the waist, his hands sliding the hem of her camisole up, and she glanced nervously at the lamp. Pausing, he followed her gaze and shook his head. “No way am I turning that off.”

Now who was the mind reader? “But…” She felt self-conscious. Vulnerable. This was her last night with him. And yes, she appreciated admiring his body as much as he might appreciate hers, but she felt too raw tonight.

What if this was it for them? He said he wanted to come back for her but what if…

What if he forgot all about her while he was gone?

“I want to see you.” With a strength that startled her, he flipped her over so she was the one on her back. “I want my last memory of you before I leave looking like this. Naked and flushed in the middle of your bed just before I—”

“Cam.” Her cheeks caught on fire.

“Shhh.” He linked their hands together, held them above her head so she was stretched out for him. “No complaints, no embarrassment. Let me enjoy you. Let me make this good for you.”

She melted when he kissed her, her insides turning to liquid. The gentle way he touched her, the reverent glow in his eyes when he studied her as he stripped her of her clothing. He skimmed her with his fingers, kissed her with that decadent mouth everywhere, all over, and when they finally made that connection she so desperately needed, she squeezed her eyes shut to stop the flow of tears that threatened.

He noticed and paused. Touched her cheek so that she had no choice but to open her eyes and meet his gaze, her vision blurred by the gathering tears. “Chloe.” His voice came out as a raspy plea. “Don’t cry.”

She sniffed, the tears falling anyway, streaking down her cheeks. “Sorry,” she croaked, feeling silly and small and incredibly foolish.

He frowned, his brows furrowed in what looked like pain. With infinite tenderness, he kissed her tears away, which only made her cry harder. “I don’t want to hurt you.”

“You’re not hurting me.” She shook her head, her hair rustling against the pillow.

“My leaving is hurting you,” he countered and she didn’t answer.

Couldn’t when he spoke the truth.

She didn’t expect promises or declarations of love. Not really. But when he kept his gaze steadily on her, his expression full of such unguarded emotion, she didn’t know what to think. Didn’t know what to say.

“Chloe.” He kissed her, buried his face against her shoulder, turning so he could kiss her neck. “I’ll miss you when I’m gone.”

“I—I’ll miss you, too,” she stammered, her breath hitching when he licked her skin. “So much.”

Her words seemed to spur him on and soon they were lost in their pleasure, mindless with it. She tried to focus, etch this moment in her memory so she could cherish it later, but soon she was consumed, lost within Cameron’s embrace.

There was nowhere else she’d rather be.

…

Cam pulled on his jeans, his movements slow, sluggish, reluctant. Chloe leaned against a pile of pillows as she watched him, her expression filled with so much sadness it killed him to look at her too long.