Tempting Tatum (20 page)

“Blaise,” I whisper his name.

“Shh, just rest. We can talk more tomorrow,” he says softly.

“Will you…?” I stop myself before I ask him to stay. His words confuse me, but I also know while lying here in his arms, I feel at peace, and it’s been a while for me. So, yes, I want him to stay, but I won’t allow myself to ask him.

Reading my thoughts, he says, “I’m not going anywhere.” With that, he pulls the cover over us.

I relax into his hold. I never thought I would feel loved and protected again, like I belong here, in his arms. After losing my parents, I felt…out of place. After what Josh did, I was sure that I would never feel safe with another man. As I lay in his arms, I feel completely safe, loved and cherished. This is where I belong. This is my last thought as sleep claims me.

I’m not sure what caused Tatum’s tears. I hate she’s upset. Her lip quivers and she bites down hard. I can see her eyes are glassy from the dim light of the moon shining through the window. She rolls over, trying to shut me out. This girl has seen so much pain. I don’t know all the details, but what I do know is I never want to be the one who causes that look in her eyes, that causes her tears to flow.

Decision made, I stand up and close her bedroom door. I walk back to the bed and remove my shoes. I crawl in next to her and align my body with hers. I gently rub her back, letting her know I’m still here. Her shoulders begin to shake and so does my heart. I wrap my arms around her and hold her tight, letting her work through whatever it is that caused this. I have a good idea she thinks I rejected her, when that’s not the case. I don’t want to take advantage of her. She’s had a lot to drink and I don’t want her to feel used. Selfishly, I also want our first time to be memorable for both of us.

I feel her breathing even out, so I decide to ask her if she wants to talk. She confirms my suspicions. She actually thinks I don’t want her.
Fuck!

I try to explain to her the best I can without scaring her away that I wasn’t rejecting her. I know that in her current state of mind it will be hard to reason with her. I tell her how much I want her anyway, knowing she probably won’t remember any of this in the morning. I’ll wait until she’s asleep, then slip out to the couch. I want to be here when she wakes up. We need to talk about this.

“Will you…” she starts to ask me something. I know deep down she wants me to stay. I can feel it in the way her body relaxed in my arms. I may have made her cry, but she feels safe with me. That’s all I can ask for right now.

I reassure her I’m not going anywhere and wrap her tight in my arms. I listen as her breathing evens out, her soft breath against my chest. No way am I moving to the couch, and no way am I falling asleep. My heart is hammering against my chest. This feels right. Tatum in my arms, our bodies fused together as we lie here in the darkness. I want to commit this to memory. When Tatum wakes up and she still thinks I rejected her, who knows how long it will take for me to get her back in my arms like this. I plan to savor the moment.

I’m lost in thought. My mind reliving every moment I’ve shared with her when she begins to be restless. She’s whimpering in her sleep. She calls out, “No…they’re not gone…they can’t be gone.” I watch as a tear rolls down her cheek.

I take my thumb and gently wipe away her tears. “No,” she says again. Her voice soft and broken. My heart breaks at the sound.

I bring her head against my chest. “It’s okay, baby. I’m here. I got you,” I whisper these words to her over and over while rubbing her back, trying to soothe her. If I could take away her pain, I would. There is an ache in my chest and a lump in my throat as I fight back my own emotions. She’s scared. It’s breaking my heart to watch her.

“Blaise,” my name falls from her lips. I wait to see if she’ll say more, but she doesn’t. She still sleeping. My name on her lips helps ease my own turmoil. She’s either asking for me, or feels me here with her. I’ll take either.

Tatum stirs in my arms as the sun starts to rise. She rolls over and we are face to face. Slowly she opens her eyes. I wait for panic or anger. Instead, I get a sleepy smile.

Her hair has fallen in her eyes; I tuck the thick locks behind her ear. “Hey you,” I say, my voice gruff. This is a surreal moment for me, waking up with her. I hope she’s ready for what I’m about to bring. I’m going to fight for her, for us. I want this moment with her every fucking day.

“Morning,” she says in her sleep-laced voice. “You stayed.”

“Yeah,” I say, my eyes not leaving hers.

Tatum holds my stare. A slight blush crosses her face. “I had a dream you were here. I guess that was real,” she says, finally looking away.

Is she embarrassed? I use my hand to gently guide her head back to face me. “I was here. I am here. I will always be here,” I tell her. My voice is firm but soft.

She doesn’t say anything; she just stares at me. Since I have her full attention, I keep going.

“Tatum, how much do you remember from last night?” I ask.

She takes a deep breath. “I remember throwing myself at you and you rejecting me. I remember you telling me you were doing it for me.” She breaks our connection and looks up at the ceiling. “I remember you saying you want me. In my dream…” She swallows hard. “In my dream, I was, um, having a hard time. You were holding me, telling me you were there for me.” Her eyes find mine. “I assume that part was real as well?” she asks.

I nod my head. “Yes, you were upset. I’m here if you ever want to talk about it,” I tell her.

“Thank you, but I’m good,” she whispers.

“I’m glad you remember. I was afraid you wouldn’t. However, I still want to clarify in the light of day when we both have clear heads.” I raise up and rest my weight on my elbow so I am looking down at her. Her body is close and I can feel the stirring of desire. By the look in her eyes, she can as well. “I want you, Tatum. You have consumed my thoughts since the day I met you. The more time I spend with you, the more I want. I swear you’ve cast some kind of spell on me.” I kiss the tip of her nose. “I just want you to let me in. Let me be a part of your life. Give me the chance to show you what you mean to me. I know it’s fast, but I feel it in here.” I pull her hand and hold it against my chest, right over my heart.

Tatum closes her eyes. When she opens them, I see the sadness has returned. “Blaise, I’m a mess. I’m trying to find out who I am, where I belong. I lost my parents and my ex…” She stops, collecting her thoughts. “He cheated on me the day my parents died. I’m afraid to open myself up again. My parents’ death was tragic and Josh’s betrayal deepened the wound. I don’t know if I can let you in.”

I nod my head in understanding. “Take your time. I’m not going anywhere,” I tell her.

She chuckles and I relish the sound.

“What? What’s so funny?” I ask her.

“This…us. Last night my plan was to seduce you. I wanted one night with you. I wanted to forget the pain.”

Her words elate me and piss me off all at the same time. “One night?” I ask.

She blushes. “Yeah, I mean, I never would have thought you would want me, you know, for more than just one night. In my mind, it was a solid plan, until you turned me down.”

I try not to let her words hurt me. I know I have the reputation of a ladies man, but she’s different. I’m different with her. I remind myself Tatum doesn’t really know that. She only knows what she’s seen and heard. I’ll just have to prove it to her.

“Yeah, one night is not an option. When I have you,” I place the palm of my hand against her cheek “and trust me, I will have you; when I finally get you in my bed, I’m never letting you go.”

Tatum licks her lips. “And when will that be exactly?” she asks, her voice husky.

I move in close. “When you understand you’re mine. When you’re ready to commit to this chemistry and the feelings between us. When I know this,” I place my hand over her heart, “is mine.”

Enough talking. I capture her lips with mine slowly. I lick her bottom lip, then gently bite. Our tongues are in a slow battle of passion. I put my every emotion I have for her into the kiss. I hope she gets used to this, because kissing her is my new favorite thing.

Tatum releases my lips; her chest is heaving with exhilaration. Good, looks like I got my point across.

“Blaise, I don’t know if—” She tries to speak, but I stop her by placing my finger to her soft lips.

“I’m not going anywhere.” I flash her a cocky grin. “I’m going to make it hard for you to resist me.” I kiss her once more, before hopping out of bed. “Now, I’m going to go make us some breakfast. Jackson and Ember will be up soon.” Leaning down over the bed, I kiss her forehead, then turn and walk out of the room.

My eyes follow Blaise as he walks out of my room. So much has happened. Blaise says he wants me. The look in those silver eyes of his says he does. His actions say he does. Can the playboy commit? Can I? It’s only been four months since my parents’ death and the death of my relationship with Josh. UGH! Why does life have to be so damn complicated? Last night, I wanted one night with him. Just one night to forget the pain. Do I get that? No! Instead, I get Blaise and his gentle caresses begging me to let him in.

My heart wants that, wants to let his sweet words and gentle kisses take over. My head is telling me it’s a bad idea. Sighing with frustration, I head for the shower; maybe that will clear my head.

After my shower, I feel refreshed, but my head is still a jumbled mess and my heart is still screaming to trust Blaise. I make my way to the kitchen and find Blaise at the stove making pancakes. Ember and Jackson are sitting around the table, already eating.

“Good morning, roomie,” Ember says cheerily.

“Good morning,” I say.

I stop at the counter and pour a glass of orange juice. Blaise reaches around me and sets a plate full of pancakes in front of me. He leans down and kisses my cheek. No words are said. He goes right back to the stove and continues making breakfast. My face is burning with embarrassment. I’m not used to the attention, not publicly; that wasn’t Josh, at least not with me.