Tempus (6 page)

Dearest Jessie,

I was going to save this until your first day of school, but I decided you should have it now.  I wish I’d thought of it  for your birthday.  I know I haven’t given you all the things through the years that I should have, and that you really deserved.  It’s just hard for me to accept that you’re growing up, but I promise to try to do better by you.  I love you so much, and I wish I could keep you my little girl forever. I know I can’t, and I should stop trying.  As you’ve told me a million times, it’s not fair, and maybe you’re right.

I want you to take the rest of the week off and enjoy yourself.  Steve’s going to fill in to make some extra money before his semester starts, so he said  tell you it’s no problem at all.  Call me in a little while and I’ll come pick you up.  I want you to go shopping and get some new clothes for school, my treat.  And don’t say you don’t need them!

Open the box.  I hope it’s what you want, but if it’s not, just let me know and we’ll go back together and you can pick out the one you like.  It won’t hurt my feelings, promise.  Have a good day, sweetheart, and call me.

Love you always,

Dad

I eyed the box on the table suspiciously.  It was hard to tell by the outside what might be
inside
.  Dad was not the best at wrapping things, but I could tell he had taken his time with this one and tried to make it pretty for me.  For a second it didn’t even matter what was inside, I could feel the love from the wrapping paper, and something in me didn’t want to tear it up.

Curiosity took over , however, and I slipped my finger under a piece of tape on one end and popped it loose.  I popped the other side loose, worked my fingers around the end of the box, and tugged.  It slid right out of the paper.  My eyes bugged out and my mouth dropped open.

It could
not
be!  “No
freaking
way
!”  My hands shook as I pulled the top off the box to see if it held what it
said
it held.  I almost dropped it when I realized it did!

“No freaking way! 
No freaking way
!”

The sleek and shiny black phone rested in the white container.  I could see my shocked eyes reflected in the glass on the front.  I removed the phone and got a sudden glimpse!  It was my dad’s face, all smiles, putting the phone back in the box and placing the lid on.  This was shaping up to be a major week of firsts!  I had
never
gotten a glimpse from something new, not even a short one!

 I held the phone a moment, feeling the weight of it, turning it repeatedly in my hands, front to back to front.  It was cool to the touch, and smooth.  It was light, and comfortable to hold.  I loved the feel of it against my fingertips.  I held it to my ear to see what it felt like.  My own
cell phone!

I gently placed the phone on the nearest place mat and dug the remaining contents out of the box.  I pulled out the manuals, the charger, cables, and earphones.  I would have known my dad had already been into the box, even without that little glimpse.  I grabbed the fingertips manual and glanced through it, cast it aside, and grabbed my new phone.  I pushed the button and watched the phone come to life.

I spent the next half hour playing with it.  It was so pretty, and so awesome, and so mine!  I was engrossed in an ‘app’ when it rang and I was so startled I almost dropped it.  It took me a moment to figure out how to answer, but  I finally managed, and put it to my ear.

“Hello?”

“Hi sweetheart, see you found your surprise.  I hope you like it.”  My dad’s voice sounded so pleased.

“Like it?  I
love
it!  It is the most awesome thing ever!  I’m still trying to figure out how everything works.  It has a camera, does video, and does
everything
!  I love it, love it,
love
it!”  The words kept rushing out over my dad’s laughter, “This is so amazing!  I don’t even want to put it down!”

I gushed on and on until my dad had to cut me off.  I don’t remember the last time I heard him sound so pleased with something he had done, maybe I never had.  I think I was as happy for him as I was for myself.  Well, close at least.

Time to make my first call.  I dialed Julies number—she had a cell phone her first year of high school—and listened to it ring.  After a few seconds I got her voice message, “This is Julie, you know the drill.  Beeeep.”

“Ohmigod, Julie.  I got a phone!  You have to call me back!  My number is, um, I don’t know what my number is.  It’s on your phone.  Call me back,
call me back
!”

I wondered who else I could call.  Maybe Katie would answer, but probably not.  I dialed anyway.  “You’ve reached Katie.  You know what.  You know when.  Beeeep”

“You guys suck.  I called Julie, I called you, and nobody is answering their stupid phones.  By the way, I have a stupid phone of my
own
so I can
not
answer when you call me back.  Call me anyway.”  I hung up and sulked a little.

Maybe I would call Dad back and go shopping.  Now that I had a phone of my own, maybe I should get a case for it or even one of those blue tooth headset thingies or something.  Maybe I could get Dad to drop me off at the mall so I could buy some school clothes, too.  I gradually began to like the idea of buying new clothes.  Maybe I would do something different this year, try a new look.  Last year of high school, so why not?

I dialed the store number and it rang twice.  “Timeless Treasures, this is Steve, May I help you?”

“Steve, put Dad on the phone.”

“No can do, kiddo.  Your dad is outside talking to that guy with the truckload of stuff from that estate sale.  He’s gonna be busy ‘negotiating’ for while.  Everything okay?”

“Yeah. 
Bummer
.”  I sighed a pathetic sigh.  What good was a day off when I couldn’t do anything I wanted to do?

“Why bummer?”

“I wanted Dad to give me a ride out to the mall.  I need to do some shopping for school.  Guess I could call a taxi.”  I had done that before, I just hated to waste the money.

“Give me a second.  If your dad can handle things here, I’ll pick you up and take you.  If you want.”

“Well, if Dad doesn’t mind, that would be
great
.  Can you pick me up in half an hour?”  That would sure beat wasting money on a cab.

“I’ll go ask him right now.  I’ll only call you back if he says no, otherwise, half an hour it is.  Be ready.”

“Thanks, Steve.  Talk to you later.”

“No problem, kiddo.  Bye.”

I hurried back upstairs and ‘got ready.’  I pulled on my blue tank top and white shorts, secured my hair up in a ponytail, and put on a little makeup and perfume.  I surprisingly felt a little “girlie” today, and I think I knew why.  Back in my room, I reached under my pillow and pulled out my notebook.  My heart sped up just a little as I looked at those blue eyes.  Maybe he wasn’t real
now
, but he used to be.  I was so stupid for drooling over something so—
stupid
—but why not?  It made me happy, for now. 

“You and I have a date later,” I told the picture, before sliding it back under my pillow.

I hurried back down the stairs and out to the porch swing.  I plopped myself down and started pushing with one foot, daydreaming about a million things.  I thought about school, about being a senior.  I had wondered if that would ever happen, making it through school.  I had missed a lot of things I should have done.  I had only been to one school dance in my whole life, and it was horrible.  Okay, not horrible, but horribly
boring
.  I hated dancing and I hated dresses.

I didn’t do any of the extracurricular activities, and my electives were always self-centered.  I hadn’t quite
participated
in high school; I only attended, and threw myself into learning and keeping my grades as high as possible.  I wasn’t nerdy, and I had a lot of friends, but there were only two that I cared to spend time with.  Everyone and everything else was shallow, or hollow—and simply tolerable, nothing to invest in.

How was I going to spend my senior year?  I liked acting, a little.  Maybe I would join drama for a semester and just try it out.  No band, or sports, or anything like that.  I liked playing my guitar a little, but they didn’t have guitars in the band.  I sucked at sports. 

What else did they have?  I didn’t even know, I had never looked.

I heard the monster before Steve turned in so I was bouncing down the stairs before he had even come to a stop.  I bounced all the way to the truck. 
I felt girlie and bouncy
.  I climbed like a monkey up the side and into the truck.

“Hi, Steve!”  I smiled a too happy smile.

“Hi, Jessie.  Why are you in such a good mood?”

He called me Jessie?  He hadn’t called me Jessie in years, not to
me
, at least.  “I’m going
shopping
!”  I said in a girlie voice, and gave him a girlie look.  I was mimicking Alecia, but I knew he didn’t know that, which made it more amusing.  I giggled.

He looked at me funny—
closely
, and directly into my eyes.  It gave me kind of a weird vibe—not bad, not good, just
weird
.  I simply sat there, looking back at him for a second, trying to figure out what he was looking for.  Maybe he thought I was on drugs.  I giggled again at that thought.  He smiled a genuine smile, and then leaned toward me, reaching across my lap.  I didn’t jump, but I swatted his arm.

“What the heck are you doing?”  I asked as I pushed his still reaching arm away.

“I was going to buckle you in, since you weren’t doing it.”  He laughed, pulled his arm away, and put his hands up in a gesture of surrender.  He looked terribly cute for just a fleeting second.

“Sorry, I got it.  I’ve been in a daze since I got my new cell phone.  I know you’re in a hurry.”  I was buckling myself in while I talked.  I patted the fastened buckle, “Happy now?  You may drive.”

“Where to, Madam?” 

I felt a moment similar to déjà-vu.  Hadn’t I been thinking about that Hansom Cab recently, and how I imagined that is what the driver would say?  It gave me the creeps, with Steve acting kind of weird and all friendly.  He was never
un
friendly; he just wasn’t usually
this
friendly.  I decided to play along anyway.  What could it hurt?

“To the mall, driver, post haste!”  I used my best, and
only
, haughty voice.

“As you wish!”

Steve was talky all the way there.  He wasn’t normally a talky person, not with me, and he preferred to have his music up loud and pretend I didn’t exist, which worked just fine for me, too.  I had no idea what to say to “talky Steve.”  I mostly just listened, and responded when required.

When we arrived at the Mall, he pulled up in front of Barnes and Noble, my favorite bookstore and usual destination.  “Curb service, Milady.”

“Steve,” I began, then decided not to say what I’d intended.  “Thank you for the ride.”

“Call me when you’re ready to be picked up and I’ll be back in two shakes.  And Jessie?”  He paused so long I had to respond.

“Yes, Steve?”

“Be careful.  That’s all.”  He looked a little sheepish.

“Okay, that’s
it
.  Who are you, and what have you done with Steve?” I knew that sounded really stupid, but too late.

He shrugged, “Ummm… Your dad told me to pass that message along.  I wasn’t going to, I know how you hate stuff like that, but…” another long pause.

“But
what
?  Ohmigod, you are acting so
weird
!”  I clearly had no clue how to deal with
weird
Steve, either.

“Okay, I’ll just say it, but don’t get mad at me.”  He stopped once more for a moment and I was about to say something again, so his words rushed out.  “Your dad was talking about you a lot today, about how you had grown up before his eyes, and he didn’t even know it.  You know, you never wear makeup, or dress up nice, or anything at work.  You look
very
nice when you try to.” 

I had no idea how to respond, or if I even should.  I just sat there, looking at his green, green, eyes, trying to figure out what he was getting at.  Was he just being nice, or was there more to it?  It felt like he was flirting a little, but I wasn’t sure.  What if he was?  I snapped out of it long enough to unbuckle, open the door, and say, “You are acting so
bizarre
.  I’ll call the store later when I’m done and Dad can come get me.  Thanks again for the ride.”  I closed the door before he could say anything else weird.  I didn’t even look back as I heard him drive away.

Steve had messed up my entire plan because now I couldn’t stop wondering what had gotten into him.  I caught my reflection in the glass window and reassessed myself.  With my hair up, my neck looked long and slender, almost graceful.  My waist was tiny, and my chest was surely “respectable.”  Respectable, that’s what Julie and I called it when they were better than small but far from big.  My butt looked shapely in my shorts.  Not being egotistical, but I did look pretty darn good.  I decided to go inside before anyone caught me admiring myself.  That would be
hugely
embarrassing!