Ten Years in the Tub (96 page)

Authors: Nick Hornby

BOOK: Ten Years in the Tub

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Perhaps unsurprisingly, given the tenor of Mantel's introduction and the nature of psychotherapy itself, with its painfully slow storyboarding of life's plot twists, there is a good deal in this book about the value of literature. Haynes repeatedly claims that she'd find her job impossible without it, in factâthat Shakespeare and Tolstoy, J. M. Barrie (there's an extraordinary passage from
Peter Pan
quoted here, hence its appearance in Books Bought), and Chekhov have all created grooves that our narratives frequently wobble into, helpfully, illuminatingly. So even if you have no time for Jung and Freud, there's something for the curious and literate
Believer
reader, and as I can't imagine there's any other kind, then this book is for you. It's occasionally a little self-dramatizing, but it's serious and seriously smart, and Haynes allows her patients a voice, too: Callum, the young man addicted to pornography, makes an incidental but extremely important observation about the “pandemic” that the internet has helped spread among men of his generation. (Haynes quotes the
psychoanalyst Joan Raphael-Leff, who says that sex “is not merely a meeting of bodily parts or their insertion into the other but
of flesh doing the bidding of fantasy
.” So what does it say about those who use pornography, I wonder, that they are prepared to spend so much time watching the insertion of body parts?) I'm going to stop banging on about this book now, but I got a lot out of it. As you can probably tell.

In 1971, the Booker Prize suddenly changed its qualification period. Up until then, the prize had been awarded to a work of fiction published in the previous twelve months; in '71 they switched it, and the award went to a book released contemporaneously. In other words, novels published in 1970 weren't eligible for the prize. So somebody has had the bright idea of creating a Lost Booker Prize for this one year, and as a consequence our bookstores are displaying a short list of novels that, if not exactly forgotten (they had to be in print to qualify), certainly weren't terribly near the top of British book-club reading listsâand I'm betting not many of you have read Nina Bawden's
The Birds on the Trees
, J. G. Farrell's
Troubles
,
The Bay of Noon
by Shirley Hazzard,
Fire from Heaven
by Mary Renault,
The Driver's Seat
by Muriel Spark, or Patrick White's
The Vivisector
. I bought three of them, partly because it was such a pleasure to see books published forty years ago on a table at the front of a chain store: British bookshops are desperately, crushingly dull at the moment. Our independents are almost all gone, leaving bookselling at the mercy of the chains and the supermarkets, and they tend to favor memoirs written, or at least approved, by reality-TV stars with surgically enhanced breasts, and recipe books by TV chefs. To be honest, even memoirs written in person by reality-TV stars with entirely natural breasts wouldn't lift the cultural spirits much. If asked to represent this magazine's views, I'd say we favor natural breasts over augmented, but that breasts generally are discounted when we come to consider literary merit. And if I have that wrong, then I can only apologize.

Nina Bawden's
The Birds on the Trees
is what became known, a few years later, as a Hampstead NovelâHampstead being a wealthy borough of London that, in the imagination of some of our grumpier provincial critics, is full of people who work in the media and commit adultery. My wife grew up there, and she works in the media, butâ¦ Actually, I should do some fact-checking
before I finish that sentence. I'll get back to you. Nobody would dare write a Hampstead novel anymore, I suspect, and though its disappearance is not necessarily a cause for noisy lamentationâthere is only so much to say about novelists having affairs, after allâit's interesting to read an early example of the genre.
The Birds on the Trees
is about a middle-class media family (the wife is a novelist, the husband a journalist) in the process of falling apart, mostly because of the stress brought on by a son with mental-health problems. People drink a lot of spirits. Marshall McLuhan is mentioned, and he doesn't come up so much in fiction anymore. There are lots of characters in this short book, all with tangled, knotty connections to each otherâit feels like a novel-shaped Manhattan at timesâand, refreshingly, Bawden doesn't feel the need to be definitive. There's none of that sense of “If you read one book this year, make it this one”; you get the sense that it was written in an age where people consumed new fiction as a matter of course, so there was no need to say everything you had to say in one enormous, authoritative volume.

None of the Lost Booker books are very long; I chose to read Muriel Spark's
The Driver's Seat
(a) because I'd never read anything by Muriel Spark before, and she has the kind of reputation that convinced me I was missing out, and (b) her novel was so slim that it is almost invisible to the naked eye. And, if you look at the Books Bought and Books Read columns this month, you will see, dear youthful writer, that short books make sound economic and artistic sense. If Spark had written a doorstopper of a novel, I probably wouldn't have bought it; if I'd bought it, I wouldn't have gotten around to picking it up; if I'd picked it up, I wouldn't have finished it; if I'd finished it, I'd have chalked her off my to-do list, and my relationship with Muriel Spark would be over. As it is, she's all I read at the moment, and the income of her estate (she died four years ago) is swelling by the day. What's the flaw in this business plan? There isn't one.

My only caveat is that your short novels have to be really, really goodâthat's the motor for the whole thing. (If you're going to write bad short books, then forget itâyou'd be better off writing one bad long one.)
The Driver's Seat
, which is pitched straight into the long grass somewhere between Patricia Highsmith and early Pinter, is a creepy and unsettling novella about a woman who travels from Britain to an unnamed European city, apparently because she is hell-bent
on getting herself murdered. I couldn't really tell you why Spark felt compelled to write it, but understanding the creative instinct isn't a prerequisite for admiring a work of art, and its icy strangeness is part of its charm.
A Far Cry from Kensington
came later but is set earlier, in a West London boardinghouse whose inhabitants are drawn toward each other in strange ways when one of them, an editor at a publishing house, is rude to a talentless hack. (She calls him a “
pisseur de copie
,” an insult that is repeated gleefully and satisfyingly throughout the book. Spark is fond of strange, funny mantras.)
The Prime of Miss Jean Brodie
is her most famous novel, at least here, where the movie, starring Maggie Smith as an overbearing and eccentric teacher in a refined Scottish girls' school, is one of our national cinematic treasures. I probably enjoyed this last one the least of the threeâpartly because I'd seen the film, partly because Miss Brodie is such a brilliantly realized archetype that I felt I'd already come across several less-successful versions of her. (Influential books are often a disappointment, if they're properly influential, because influence cannot guarantee the quality of the imitators, and your appetite for the original has been partially sated by its poor copies.) But what a writer Spark isâdry, odd, funny, aphoristic, wise, technically brilliant. I can't remember the last time I read a book by a well-established writer previously unknown to me that resulted in me devouring an entire oeuvreâbut that only brings me back to the subject of short books, their beauty and charm and efficacy.
A Far Cry from Kensington
weighs in at a whopping 208 pages, but the rest are all around the 150 mark. You want your oeuvre devoured? Look and learn.

At the end of
The Prime of Miss Jean Brodie
, one of Miss Brodie's girls, now all grown up, visits another, and attempts to tell her about her troubled marriage. “âI'm not much good at that sort of problem,' said Sandy. But Monica had not thought she would be able to help much, for she knew Sandy of old, and persons known of old can never be much help.” Which sort of brings us full circle.

In next month's exciting episode, I will describe an attempt, not yet begun, to read
Our Mutual Friend
on a very modern ebook machine thing. It's the future. Monday, in fact, probably, once more Spark oeuvre has been devoured.