Tender Love (2 page)

“As I understand, surgery has completely repaired the damage to his heart, and he's able to resume a normal life. You can find out from his father or pediatrician what he's able to do. I don't believe Mark will give you any opposition. He's the best organized preacher we've ever had at our church, and it must frustrate him to see his household in such disorder, but he's simply in over his head.”

“I suppose that's the reason I decided to help him.”

“But let me caution you, Alice. I know
you,
and you'll want to move in there and expect an overnight miracle. It won't happen that way. Their home life has been going downhill for two years—you won't change it in a few days.”

Alice shook her head despairingly. “You're right,
and I'll try to go slow. But there is something I can do. This morning, a friend telephoned Kristin and invited her to go to church camp. Mark had to refuse because he couldn't afford it, and I want to provide that money anonymously. Will you handle it for me?”

She reached in her purse and removed seventy-five dollars.

“No problem. I'll put the money in a blank envelope, mark it for Kristin Tanner's camp expenses and drop it in the offering plate Sunday. No one will ever need to know.”

Alice paused in her pacing to straighten a picture on the wall. “I'm not completely at ease with this situation, Betty. It's quite a responsibility, and I'm afraid that I'll get too involved with the family's problems. You know I've always wanted children of my own. What if I get attached to Eddie and Kristin? It will hurt when I have to leave them.”

“That's a risk all nannies take, and some of those listed with my agency have been hurt.” Betty observed Alice as she stood looking out the window, and she said compassionately, “But, Alice, why don't you remarry and have children of your own?”

“I don't intend to marry another man I don't love. I couldn't have found a more considerate, kinder husband than John Larkin, but I didn't love him, and I haven't seen any other man I thought I could love.” Mark's brilliant blue eyes set in his charming face flashed through her mind, and she didn't look at Betty, fearful that her friend might note the truth in her face.

Betty, a happy wife and proud mother of three, was a noted matchmaker. She took Alice by the
shoulders and turned her to face the full-length mirror on the wall behind her desk.

“Look at you,” Betty said, and she enumerated Alice's features as if she were announcing a beauty contest. “Honey-blond hair, pink-and-white complexion, finely chiseled features, with a smile that always seems to be lurking in steady brown eyes, while also possessing a firmly molded attractive body of above medium height.”

Betty released Alice's shoulders and perched on the desktop. “You're wasted as a single person. You
must
get married again.”

“When I'm ready, I'll tell you,” Alice said, with a laugh.

Betty's face became more thoughtful. “Although your chief role at the Tanners is to care for those children, I'm concerned about Mark, too.” She paused and rolled a ballpoint pen back and forth on the desk. “I've never known a more effective preacher, and he should be in the ministry—not working in a bank. It was a blow to our congregation when he resigned, and the membership would have taken him back immediately when Clarice died.”

“He didn't ask for a leave of absence when he left the church?”

“No. He wouldn't take one when the official board offered it. And while he said he couldn't come back to the church because he needed a lucrative job to take care of his debts, I've wondered if that's the real reason.”

“Well,” Alice said, “I'll have to admit when I was so confined with John's illness and couldn't see any hope for the future, there were times when my faith faltered. We've all been in that position.”

“That's true, but the doubts eventually fade away. Yet in Mark's case, I don't think they have.”

 

Once back in her own home, Alice's mind became an emotional pendulum. One moment she'd think, This move is definitely God's will for my life; then she'd fret, Why can't I be satisfied with the status quo?

In spite of her doubts, she kept on packing her minivan with clothing and personal items to make her life more pleasant at the Tanners'. As she made arrangements to close her house for a few months, she questioned why she would even consider leaving her comfortable life-style, her spacious three-story brick colonial home, her church friends and her relatives to assume the responsibility of another's family, to sleep in a bunk bed on a porch, and take on household duties that she paid to have done in her own home.

When she prayed for wisdom, God led her to a verse in the Psalms, “I will instruct you and teach you in the way you should go; I will counsel you and watch over you.”

That was the only assurance she had that her decision was the right one, for a visit to her parents, Harley and Norma Taylor, who lived in a retirement community in the nation's capital, wasn't encouraging. Norma couldn't understand why her daughter would want to take on a nanny position.

When Alice had inherited all of John's assets, her parents took it for granted that they were also recipients of his money, and were never hesitant about asking for financial help. They thought that if Alice wanted to take care of children, she should devote
her time to her niece and nephew, children of Nancy, Alice's single-parent sister, who always had financial needs.

Alice took comfort from her prayers and continued packing.

 

She timed her arrival for Sunday afternoon, and when she reached the street where the Tanners lived, she compared her present sangfroid to her nervousness the week before.

Mark opened the door before she had time to ring the bell. His wavy hair was tousled, there was a black smudge on his face, and he wore an apron over his jeans with a message printed in flashy letters, What's A Nice Guy Like You Doing In A Dump Like This?

“You did come back,” he said, and the relief expressed in his eyes and on his face reinforced her belief that it was right to be here.

“What made you think I wouldn't?” she said in her low voice, as he held the door for her.

“I couldn't blame anyone for hesitating to take on a job like this one,” he said with a slight laugh.

“In my own strength, I wouldn't have tackled it, but Mr. Tanner, I believe God is calling me to this position.”

Mark's face darkened, and he ignored her comment.

“You're in time to join us for a late lunch, early dinner or whatever. I'm grilling hamburgers in the backyard. We're about ready to eat. Gran and Kristin are making lemonade. I was going upstairs to bring Eddie down when I heard your car drive in.”

When Mark turned toward the stairs, Alice walked
into the kitchen. “Anything I can do to help?” she asked after she greeted Gran and Kristin.

“You can carry out the lemonade, if you like,” Gran said in her halting voice. “I need both hands for my walker, and the pitcher is a bit heavy for Kristin.”

“We've got your room ready, Mrs. Larkin,” Kristin said. “Want to see?”

“Sure.”

Alice walked with Kristin to the porch. The mini-blinds were closed, and the room was cool. One corner was piled high with boxes, but the rest of the room had been cleared for her use, and a small chest, chair, table and bunk bed moved in.

“Is the room all right?” she asked anxiously, reminding Alice of a troubled adult.

“I'll be very comfortable here. I brought my own television, and a few other personal items that I'll move in later.”

“Daddy says you're only coming for a month.”

“Maybe longer, if we get along all right.”

“Guess what!” Kristin said excitedly. “I'm going to camp next week. Daddy couldn't afford to send me, but someone at the church provided the money.”

“That's great,” Alice agreed. “I'm sure you'll enjoy church camp—I always did when I was a girl.”

When they returned to the kitchen, Mark was entering with Eddie, stooping low with an arm around the boy to support him. Eddie shuffled along like an old man.

Alice carried the iced beverage, Kristin picked up a package of hamburger buns and a bag of corn chips and they followed Mark and Eddie out to the yard, where hamburgers sizzled on the grill. Gran awk
wardly maneuvered her walker down the two short steps, but Alice didn't offer to help because she gathered that Gran wanted to maintain as much independence as possible.

The backyard was larger than the small weedy area in front of the house, and it was secluded from the neighboring houses by a tall wooden fence that required a coat of water seal. Shrubs needed a good pruning, and the grass was sparse in spots, while weeds grew profusely. A huge evergreen shaded the lawn, littering the whole area with pine needles. A wooden picnic table was situated on a stone patio beside a gas grill sending out tempting aromas.

“Kristin, will you bring the carton of potato salad from the refrigerator?” Mark said as he settled Eddie into a chair. With a dimple-deepening grin at Alice, he added, “I bought it at the deli—I'm not a cook and wouldn't have time to prepare food if I was.”

“What can I do to help?”

“Not a thing,” he insisted. “This meal is on me. You don't start work until tomorrow.”

Alice sat in an aluminum folding chair and sipped the lemonade that Kristin brought her.

“What should we call you?” Kristin asked.

“I'd like for you to call me by my first name— Alice.”

The hamburger was overdone and ketchup dripped around the edges of the bun, but Alice ate it, as well as the large pile of corn chips, and scant portion of potato salad that Mark served.

“I'm tired, Daddy,” Eddie whined before Mark had time to eat anything. “I want to go back to my room.”

“Can't you eat anything else, Son?” Mark asked worriedly.

Eddie shook his curly head, and Mark left his plate and helped Eddie back into the house. Alice watched their departure speculatively. Did Eddie need all this coddling or had they spoiled the boy? she wondered.

Alice turned to Gran. “What is Eddie's problem? Betty St. Claire told me his surgeries had been successful.”

Speaking with difficulty, Gran said, “The heart's malfunction has been repaired, but he isn't gaining much strength.”

“I'll get Mark's permission to call his doctor and find out what kind of diet and exercise would help Eddie. He'll have to be stronger than he is now if he goes to school this fall.”

 

They spent the rest of the afternoon unloading Alice's van. Mark whistled in amazement when she opened the rear gate of the van. “Where will we put all these things?”

“We'll leave most of them in boxes, and I'll unpack when I need something. I brought my television and computer, and a folding table for them, and there's plenty of floor room for that. I didn't notice a computer when I was here last week, and I thought it might be a good way to entertain the children.”

“Kristin has been pestering me to buy a computer,” he said lightly, “but that's another thing I can't afford right now.”

“Give it time, Mark. You'll soon have your affairs in order.” She laid her hand on his arm, and he covered it with his. She was standing closer to him than
she should be, and she tried to remove her hand and move away, but he held her with a firm grip.

“For the first time in many months, I believe that. When you came this afternoon, I felt like a burden had been lifted off my back. I can't understand it. You walk in the house, and suddenly I'm confident that all my troubles are over. Why is that, Alice?”

“I don't know, Mark, but I'm glad it's so,” she whispered. “It feels right for me to be here.”

B
efore she went to bed, Alice checked out the kitchen. While the equipment was adequate, the food supply was short, and she'd need to go to the grocery store before she did much cooking. Alice located several boxes of cold cereal, some fruit bars and a box of oatmeal that hadn't been opened. There was plenty of milk and orange juice, and a small can of coffee in the refrigerator. Although an expensive coffeemaker sat on the cabinet top, a jar of instant coffee on the table indicated that Mark didn't take time to fresh perk his coffee.

Her sleep was sporadic, and since the master bedroom was over the enclosed porch, Alice heard Mark's footsteps when he got up at six o'clock. She dressed in denim shorts and a yellow knit shirt and hurried into the kitchen. She prepared the coffeemaker, sprinkled oatmeal in a pan of boiling water, poured a glass of orange juice, and placed a plate and cup on the table. Two slices of bread were waiting in the toaster when Mark came into the kitchen.

He was dumbfounded!

“Why, Alice! I don't expect you to wait on me. I've always gotten my own breakfast.”

“I was awake, and I might as well be doing something. I've cooked oatmeal. Would you like to have eggs with your toast?”

He sat at the table awkwardly, seemingly at a loss to know how to deal with the situation. “The oatmeal and toast will be fine. I don't eat a heavy breakfast.”

Alice lowered the bread into the toaster, dipped up a serving of the steaming oatmeal, sprinkled a handful of raisins on it, and set the bowl in front of Mark. She placed the milk container beside his plate. “Sugar and cream for your coffee?”

“No, I drink it black. Won't you eat with me?”

“I'll have a cup of coffee now, but I'll wait to eat with the children. Do you mind if I set up a schedule for meals?”

“Make any schedule you like. I've told both of them to do what you say.”

“What time do you get home in the evening?”

“Usually between five and six—but I sometimes have to stay late with a client.”

“Shall we schedule dinner for six o'clock? If you're not here by then, we'll go ahead and eat.”

“I'll do my best to be here as much as possible. I need that time with my family. And I'll take care of them at night, so you can have every evening free if you want to go out.”

The rest of the week was an endurance test in patience for Alice. On Monday morning when she tried to get the children out of bed at half-past eight, Kristin came down reluctantly, but Eddie said he didn't want any breakfast. About ten o'clock, she heard a
bell ringing, and Kristin informed her that Eddie rang the bell when he wanted something. She climbed the stairs dutifully, and when she entered his room, he said, “I'm hungry, Alice.”

She looked at her watch and said, “It'll be two hours before lunch. I'll call you when it's ready. In the meantime, perhaps you should straighten up your bed and pick up some of these things on the floor. I'm going shopping this afternoon, and I want you and Kristin to go with me.”

“I want something to eat now.”

“Eddie, your daddy said it was all right to have our meals at a regular time. I'll have lots to do to keep your home comfortable, and I can't be serving food all day. You'll soon get used to eating earlier in the morning.”

Eddie closed his eyes, drooped forlornly, and he absolutely refused to get out of his chair and tidy the room, but Alice noticed that when noon came, he hungrily ate his grilled cheese sandwich and apple, and asked for a second glass of milk.

At the end of the first few days, Alice's patience was stretched to the breaking point—the children didn't like the food she cooked, they wanted to watch television rather than play outdoors, and they hadn't been taught to look after their own rooms. Alice hesitated to push Eddie too much, until she'd spoken with Eddie's pediatrician. After she heard Dr. Zane's blunt assessment, Alice knew for Eddie's sake, she had to force him to change his life-style.

“I've told Mark,” Dr. Zane said, “to quit mollycoddling that boy. In earlier years, he did have to take it easy, but the surgeries have corrected his heart problem, and he needs to be more active. To sit in
his room and watch cartoons on TV is more detrimental to his health than if he starts playing Little League ball. Do what you can to snap him out of his lethargy, and I'll support you.”

At the end of the first week, Alice could note some progress. They ate meals on schedule, and while Alice did furnish some of their usual snacks, the children were also eating more vegetables and fruits. When she weeded the flower beds, she kept Kristin and Eddie beside her and was gratified when they pulled a few weeds and happily reported to their father what they'd done. Eddie still expected Kristin or Alice to come running when he rang his bell, and when he begged her piteously to do what he wanted, his blue eyes, so much like his father's, beseeching and hurting, Alice found it hard to deny him anything. Although she wanted to bestow tender love on the boy, she knew she must occasionally practice tough love.

Fortunately, Gran Watson supported Alice. “These children have needed a firm hand for a long time. After Clarice became ill, she couldn't do anything, and Mark had too much on his mind to discipline his children. When they complain to me, I'll turn a deaf ear,” and she added with a whimsical little laugh that Alice found endearing, “I can't hear very well anyway, so it's easy enough.” Gran was no trouble to Alice, for she cared for her own needs and kept her room in order, and she was overly complimentary of Alice's cooking.

“I used to be a good cook,” she said, “but I'd lived alone for fifteen years before I came here, so I was out of the habit of cooking, and with my handicap, I haven't been up to preparing a good meal.
Mark doesn't have time to cook, even if he knew how, which he doesn't. We've been existing, and very little more.”

At night, Alice went to her room as soon as she straightened up the kitchen after dinner, closed the door, and left Mark alone with his family. When Saturday came, she was ready for a break, and after eating breakfast with Mark, she left for the day. By previous appointment, she went to Betty's house.

“You look a little harried,” was Betty's first comment.

“It's been a hard week,” Alice said with a laugh, as she leaned back in a lounger and dropped her shoes to the floor. “But I've made a difference in their lives, and that was my goal in the first place. After a year of drifting, it's challenging to be needed again.”

When Betty heard all that she'd done during the week, she threw up her hands in dismay.

“Alice! You're supposed to be a nanny—not chief cook and bottle washer. You'll kill yourself with such a schedule.”

“If you were working there, you'd do the same things I'm doing. Everywhere I look, there's something important to do. My main concern right now is how to spend the money to make their lives more comfortable without Mark learning about it. Although his back is against the wall financially, I don't believe he'll readily accept help from a stranger.”

“What kind of financial help do you have in mind?”

“Nothing major. On my first trip to the grocery store, I spent more than what he'd budgeted for the month. I can get by with that, and he'll never know,
but Kristin should have some new clothes before she goes to camp. She's a thin girl, but she's quite a bit taller than she was last summer, and her jeans are too short.”

“Watch the paper for yard sales, and take her to one of those. You can add a few new outfits, and Mark won't notice.”

“I also want to have a professional cleaning service come in and clean the whole house. He does have a woman come in for a few hours on Thursday, but she can't keep up with all the work.”

“A group of our church women has taken house cleaning as a ministry. If the family is able to make a donation, fine. If not, they clean the house free of charge. Talk to Mark about it—he'll never know how much money you give them.”

“Thanks, Betty—you've solved my two biggest problems.”

“Let me warn you, Alice, that Mark Tanner is an intelligent man, and he's going to realize soon that you aren't an ordinary nanny. You should tell him before he figures it out for himself.”

“This is only for a month's trial,” Alice reminded her. “After that, I may tell him.”

“If you stay there three more weeks, Alice, you'll be hooked, and you know it. I'm your friend, and I don't want you to get hurt. I feel responsible for you since I'm the one who mentioned the Tanners to you.”

Alice laughed at her. “Hey, I'm a big girl now— I can look after myself.”

Betty's eyes were skeptical. “I wonder.”

“By the way, who is Ethel Pennington?”

Betty grinned at her. “So you've seen her, have you?”

“I can hardly help it. She's been in and out of the house several days this week, and Wednesday, she brought hamburgers and French fries for Kristin and Eddie at two o'clock in the afternoon. I took charge of the food and told her that we'd have it for dinner—that I'd scheduled regular hours and I didn't want the children nibbling between meals. She was obviously angry, and Kristin and Eddie weren't happy about it either, but I won that battle, for so far, Mark is supporting me. Too much of that kind of food isn't good for Eddie. Dr. Zane said he needs fruits and vegetables.”

“To answer your question—Ethel is a spinster who's had her eye on Mark for years. She lives a few blocks from the Tanners, and as soon as Clarice got sick, she became the ministering angel. She intends to be the next Mrs. Tanner, and she's working on Mark through the children.”

“Is Mark interested in her?”

“I doubt it very much, but she isn't easily discouraged.”

 

The night before Kristin left for church camp, Mark telephoned that he would be late getting home.

“If you don't mind, Alice, you can put the children to bed early. I don't want them staying up until I come home.”

She prepared beef stew, Waldorf salad, and hot rolls for dinner, putting aside enough food for Mark in case he hadn't eaten before he came home. The children were quieter than usual as they ate, and Kristin merely picked at her food. As Alice cleared
the table and filled the dishwasher, the children dogged her steps—she couldn't get a foot away from either one of them.

After her work was finished, she said, “Your father asked me to send you to bed early, for he didn't know when he would be home.”

“Oh, Alice, please don't make us go to bed before Daddy comes,” Kristin begged, and Eddie puckered up as if he would soon burst into tears.

“But he doesn't know what time he'll be here, and we leave for camp early in the morning.”

Kristin grabbed her hand, and Eddie tugged on Alice's jeans. “But I won't sleep until he comes. When he's late, we're always afraid he's not coming home. Please, don't send us to bed, Alice. Eddie will cry until he's sick.”

Like a bolt from the blue, Alice suddenly realized that she'd misjudged the situation in this home. Her whole focus had been to discipline these children, Eddie in particular, and to build up their physical bodies with the right kind of foods and exercise. And while those things were necessary, suddenly she realized that, more than anything else, Kristin and Eddie needed love and security. They'd witnessed their mother's slow death, and knowing that Mark was all they had left, their fear of losing him was overpowering.

She'd been listening to her head and not her heart.
Her conscience smote her, and she put an arm around Kristin and ruffled Eddie's hair.

“You can wait up for a while anyway. Why don't you take your baths, get into your pj's, and we'll sit in the living room and wait for him? What do you and your father do in the evenings?”

A smile lit Kristin's face, and Eddie hugged Alice's legs. “We play games sometimes or sit on the couch and watch television.” She giggled. “We watch the programs, but Daddy sits with his arms around us and goes to sleep most of the time.”

“I should be able to handle that,” Alice said. “Up the stairs with you, then. I'll help you with your bath-water, Eddie, and I'll turn down your beds so you'll be ready when your daddy comes home.”

“Will you tell him we got ready all by ourselves?” Eddie asked.

“If I don't have to do too many things for you.”

While she waited for them to finish bathing, Alice tried to think of a game that would interest both of them. As soon as Mark helped her set up the computer, she could provide many educational and entertaining programs for them to watch, but that wouldn't help her tonight.

Deciding there was a difference between spoiling and loving, she started downstairs. “Come down when you're ready,” she called. She was mixing a pan of fresh apple muffins when they found her in the kitchen.

“I'm going to put these in the oven to bake, and we can have milk and muffins later on.”

“Oh, boy,” Kristin cried. “We'll like that, won't we, Eddie?”

He nodded happily and tugged on Alice's hand. She knelt beside him and smoothed back his wet hair, and he threw his arms around her and kissed her. The caress had a strange effect on Alice, for it lighted an ember in her heart that had never been touched—she had the first glimmering of what a mother's love entailed. Her voice quavered when she spoke.

“While the muffins bake, let's play a game my sister and I used to enjoy. We'll sit here at the table.” On the table, Alice laid a sheet of paper she'd brought from her room. “We're going to draw creatures. I'll start first.”

“But Eddie can't draw,” Kristin said.

“Sure, he can. I'm going to draw the head of a dog, then you, Kristin, can add the body, and Eddie will draw the legs and feet of the dog.”