Tender Trust (7 page)

Max, the regular bartender, never showed, so Alex hopped along the bar, barely managing to keep up with the orders.

Jann brought an armful of wood in from the woodpile and placed it near the black, potbellied stove in the corner. He opened the heavy cast-iron door and stuffed in a few pieces before he turned to Alex.

“Anything I can do you for you before I go upstairs?”

“As a matter of fact, there is.” Alex studied Jann. “How old are you?”

“Sixteen.” He stood a little straighter.

“You’re old enough to do a man’s work. Take off your jacket and roll up your sleeves. I need these glasses washed. I’m running out.”

Jann sent a quick glance to Jewel who had just returned to the bar with a tray full of empty glasses. Before she could say anything, Jann’s gaze shot back to Alex.

“Yes, sir!” He spun away to the kitchen to remove his coat.

“Am I going to be in trouble with his mother?” Alex asked Jewel.

A mere ghost of a smile, the first he’d seen on the woman, flitted across her lips. “I don’t think it matters now. A team of wild horses couldn’t stop him from doing ‘a man’s work.’”

Alex grinned and plopped two glasses onto her tray.

Jewel turned away and Alex could have sworn he saw a twinkle in her eye.

****

Penny was late. She always read to Lexie and tucked her into bed before going down to help with the customers. Tonight, her daughter was so keyed up, she had a hard time settling down.

If Penny had her way, she would have stayed upstairs with Lexie all night. But Alex would take it as a sign of weakness, and right now she couldn’t afford to be weak. She needed to show Alex only strength and conviction.

He didn’t understand, didn’t want to accept reality. But she did. In the two short years they’d had together, she and Alex had encountered so many things…social prejudices because of their different backgrounds, hatred and passion over the war, even their own different perspectives had threatened to tear them apart. There’d been so many obstacles, great and small, that Penny lost count.

But she did get the most important point. She realized they would never be together.

She’d followed him anyway, determined to have whatever little piece of him fate would allow. What she didn’t realize was how difficult it would be to live without him when he’d gone.

Even now, the days and weeks after he’d disappeared blurred in her mind. If not for the kindness of the landlady where they lived, Penny might have lost her mind. It wasn’t until she’d gone into labor and they placed Lexie in her arms that she had begun to live again.

For Lexie. Only for her. Penny studied her daughter’s features, soft in her sleep.

Now Alex was back, inserting himself into Lexie’s life. He would do the same thing to his daughter. Already Alex was lighting up Lexie’s world, bringing in new ideas and experiences. Changing everything. Changing Lexie.

What would happen to her when he left? And he would leave. Penny was certain Alex would leave them again. He was destined for bigger and greater things.

When she’d first met him, he was a simple foreman in a small mining operation. Now he hobnobbed with bankers and leaders of the town. Alex would go places where Penny could never follow. She didn’t belong in those places, and they would be separated again.

But what about their daughter? Where did Lexie fit in?

She was half Alex, half Penny. Both worlds.

Would she follow in her father’s footsteps or be like her mother and wither on the vine when he was gone?

Penny squeezed her eyes shut. She wanted to gather her daughter up in her arms and run. Panic raced through her and she clenched Lexie’s bedcovers as her heart pounded. Slowly, the fear eased. Reality returned. She released the covers.

Penny couldn’t leave, couldn’t abandon Jann and Inga. Jewel would never escape Holloway without her. Penny couldn’t run, but she was terrified to stay. She didn’t know which way to turn.

One thing was certain. Her answers wouldn’t come while she hid up here. They were waiting for her down below.

Carefully, she rose from Lexie’s bed and eased into the hall. She turned the wick low on the wall lantern and smoothed her dress. The heavy knot of hair at the back of her head felt loose. She still couldn’t find her pins. She was constantly re-pinning the two she had. Tomorrow, first thing, she would buy some new ones. With that thought, she pinched her cheeks and headed downstairs.

The stove in the corner radiated heat. Penny warmed her hands over it as she surveyed the crowd.

Small again. Most of the men were regulars who were gathered around the bar where Alex served drinks.

He wore black garters to keep his loose sleeves tight against his arms. The low collar of his shirt was buttoned all the way up and his dark hair combed straight back. He didn’t look anything like the gentleman who’d walked into her saloon last night. He looked just as comfortable behind the bar as he’d looked in white tie and tails.

Jewel walked towards her.

“You look better than you have in a week,” Penny said.

Jewel fingered some glasses on her tray. “I feel better. Max hasn’t showed and I’m glad he’s gone. He made me uncomfortable. But the idea of tending bar made me more uncomfortable. The temptation to drink was strong.”

Penny touched her hand. “I would never have put you in that position, Jewel. I’m sorry you even had to think about it.”

“Don’t be sorry. You’ve done more than anyone else to help me get back on my feet. The least I can do is stay sober when you need help.”

“You’ve done all the work. I’ve just been a shoulder to lean on once in a while.”

“Yeah, sure.” Sarcasm hung heavy in her tone. “Well, thanks to your—to him,” she said with a chin-jut towards the bar. “All I have to do is serve.”

“How’s he doing?”

“He’s good. The men seem to like him. He’s better company than Max.”

“Anyone is better company than Max.”

Jewel allowed a smile to ease over her lips. “That’s the truth, but Alex has a sense of humor and he talks. You know how men love to drink and preach politics. Max doesn’t even know what the word means. Alex is good at it.”

Just then, Jann hurried towards them with a tray full of glasses. When he saw Penny, a grin swept over his features.

“Look at me, Aunt Penny,” he whispered. “Look at what I’m doing. Alex says I’m the best helper he’s ever had.”

“Good for you, Jann. Good for you.” Overwhelmed by his happiness, Penny bit her tongue and patted his arm.

As he hurried back to his job, Penny met Jewel’s gaze. “How does Inga feel about this?” she asked.

“How do you think?”

“Wonderful.” Penny’s tone indicated the opposite. “I guess this means I’m in for it tomorrow morning.”

“Don’t let her get to you, Penny. Jann has been a big help to Alex and me. The less contact I have with the drinks, the better.”

“Does this mean you approve of Alex being here?”

“I know it’s hard on you, but look at Jann’s face. Have you ever seen him happier?”

She hadn’t. And she’d never seen Jewel so relaxed.

Alex made everyone happy. The dangerous thing came after…when he was gone. Penny rubbed her forehead. “I guess I’d better go talk to him.”

Alex walked towards her from the other end of the gleaming mahogany counter. His gaze covered her, from the top of her head, to where her hands rested on the polished wood. He looked at her as if he had the right, as if he knew every detail of her features and checked for changes.

Penny squirmed beneath his gaze and desperately hoped no one else observed it.

“You look…nice.” His voice was pitched low so only she could hear. His tone held no pretense, no games. Alex enjoyed looking at her.

Some deep core of feminine awareness sparked to life inside her. It fluttered and flared, and she was aware of it instantly. She hadn’t felt it in years, thought it dead and burned out. Other men found her attractive, had tried to make her feel something—anything—and failed. She’d believed herself incapable of experiencing it again. Now Alex had awakened it with one look.

“Your hair’s loose,” he murmured.

Flustered, she lifted a hand to the dragging coil at the back of her head. “I…I can’t find my pins.”

His tilted smile was so knowing, so compelling, it made Penny want to know his secret.

“I like it loose,” he said. “In fact, I like to see it down.”

“Don’t get any ideas. That won’t happen.”

Alex paused and looked around. They were at the end of the bar. No one was close. He leaned towards her.

“Are you warning me off…again?”

“You know I am. What happened before was a mistake. I was in shock. It won’t happen again.”

A man further down the bar slapped a coin on the counter. “Can I get a refill here?”

Alex emptied the last of the bottle into the man’s glass. “I’ll have to get another bottle.”

“I’ll get it.” Penny jumped at the chance to do something, to get away. Grabbing the lamp on the bar, she hurried towards the store room, unlocked the door and slipped in, searching for the case of whiskey. As she lifted the bottle from a straw-filled crate, the door clicked.

Alex came in and shut the door.

“What do you think you’re doing? People will notice.”

“Let them. I’m not going to keep up this farce for much longer, anyway. You’re my wife, Penny—a woman, not a walking, living saint.”

“If you knew anything, you’d know I need to be a saint. I have to be an example for my daughter. I have a reputation to uphold and a past to live down. I can’t afford to be anything but a saint.”

“You can be a child of God, Penny. Created to be loved.”

Penny stared at him, startled, bemused. Laughter burst from her. “A child of God? I’m the daughter of a whore, created in a San Francisco whorehouse by one of many men. My mother forgot to get his name.”

“God doesn’t care.”

“Tell them that.” She pointed outside the door. “Tell them God loves me. Or better yet, tell your banker friend Ardmore I’m a child of God. Then we’ll see how your business grows.”

Grasping the bottle of whiskey, she pushed past him, but he stopped her.

He gripped her waist with his bad arm, wrapped his other around her and dragged her to his chest.

She was shocked by the strength of his injured hand.

“I don’t care about my business or what they think. I know I’m loved and my God wants me to have what I need. I need you and my daughter.” He gave her a little shake and the tight coil of her hair tumbled down her back. “You can go on for a little while longer pretending you’re Saint Penny, the prettiest piece of marble I’ve ever seen. You can wear your collars buttoned up and your hair bound tight to your head so men won’t see the fire and gold and yearn to touch it. You can even wear brown every day to honor a dead man. But I’m alive, Penny. We’re both alive and I’m going to prove it to you!” He bent towards her.

Penny made a small sound as she realized he was going to kiss her, but that didn’t stop him.

He was surprisingly gentle for someone so determined. After his harsh words, he touched her tenderly, as if her lips were a gift, a treasure.

Still, she sealed them tight and stood rigid in his embrace. But it had been a long, long time since Penny had felt like a treasure, really felt as if a kiss was a gift from a man to a woman. The tenderness of his lips on hers eased her rigidity. Her body loosened.

Alex cradled her close to his chest. He kissed her again in a soft, wanting way that made Penny feel as if she was cherished and alive. So very much alive.

Against her will, she leaned in to him.

His hold tightened; the kiss deepened.

She should have shoved him away, but she couldn’t. She sensed if she wanted him to stop, he would. He held himself under tight control. She ran her fingers over his shoulders and upper arms and could feel the taut set of his muscles just above the garters.

Garters. Black garters with lace. Her missing garters!

Alex had worn
her
garters to tend bar. Everyone in the saloon had seen him wearing her undergarments.

Outrage exploded inside her and she shoved him away.

“How could you?” She stumbled back. “How could you wear my garters in front of Jann and Jewel and my…my customers!”

He grinned. “Now just how would they know these lovely little things belong to you?” He flicked the lacy edge of one with his finger. “Someone else been seein’ your garters, Miz Penny?”

It was the first hint of Alex’s Southern accent Penny had heard since he’d returned. It jolted her like lightning. She refused to give in to it. “No, of course not.”

“Well, if no one has seen them, then no one will know they’re yours. It’ll be our secret, yours and mine. One of many to come, from the sounds of it.” All humor and pleasure left his tone as he said the last. He took the bottle from Penny, turned, and walked out.

****

As Alex walked towards the bar, he tore the paper off the cap and twisted. He couldn’t hold back his frustration as he tossed the paper to the floor and tilted the bottle over the glass. Liquor splashed out onto the hand of the man with the glass.

“Easy, boy, easy. No point in wasting good whiskey.”

Alex took a deep breath, eased his emotions into place, and smiled.

“A smiling face is a welcome change from Max’s sour trap.” The man leaned heavily on the counter in front of Alex. He’d just walked in the door but his breath was already liquor-laced.

“Max, the old barkeep?” Alex asked.

The man rubbed a chin heavy with unshaved gray stubble. “Yep. He was the worst. He couldn’t remember my drink, and I’m one of Penny’s best customers.”

Alex studied the frayed edges of the man’s shirtsleeve and the grimy union suit beneath his unbuttoned collar. Frequent customer? Probably. Best? Alex seriously doubted it. “Well, I guarantee I’ll remember if you give me a name to go with it.”

“Brady Calhoun.”

He was the man Jann had called mean. Curious, Alex studied Brady. His eyes were blue, but filmy. His nose was red and bulbous from too much drink. As Brady talked, his gaze slanted around the room.