Tennyson's Gift (24 page)

Searching the house for her husband, Ellen discovered the canvas of ‘Choosing' erected on an easel in his bedroom. She was touched. George hadn't told her he was bringing it. ‘I'd swear those violets are getting bigger,' she said aloud, peering closely, and then passed on in her search, making calls at all the favourite sofas and window seats where her lord usually chose to make himself comfortable. She finally found him in Cameron's room, which, to judge from the rhythmical rise and fall of facial hair, seemed to have been converted temporarily into a sort of Dorm of Prophecy.

Ellen tiptoed to her husband's side. She had to admit it: Watts always looked lovely when he was asleep. She knelt beside him and studied his face – his strong nose and excellent temples, his large eyes and fine lids. It melted her heart. Ever since she first met Watts at Little Holland House, she had longed to hold that noble face in her young hands, stroke its features, make it smile for joy.

‘I love you, George,' she whispered in his ear.

He made no move.

‘And after tonight, who knows? You may feel free to love me too. I would do anything.'

She reached out her hand, and laid it tenderly on his beard. Her fingers caressed it, and lightly she laid her cheek on his chest. Her husband did not wake.

Tennyson normally loathed the business of going out to dinner, but tonight was different. For one thing, he had an excellent review to celebrate. For another, Emily was in bed and not much company. And for another, there would be no apple pie at home, for obvious reasons! So Julia's invitation could not have come at a more suitable moment. As he gave his hair its first brush for a fortnight (and large particles of greasy loam fell on his shoulders), he rehearsed the review in his mind. He was particularly pleased with the sections refuting his previous critics.

‘George Gilfillan should not have said Alfred Tennyson was not a great poet,' was a sentence which, to his mind, displayed an admirable combination of elegance and sagacity. Likewise, ‘Mr Ruskin displayed considerable botanical ignorance when he questioned the rosiness of daisies in Tennyson's masterpiece Maud.'

He wondered whether to take the review with him, or merely quote it from memory. Better to take it, so that everyone could see.

He popped in to see Emily before he left. She lifted her head for an instant, but it sank back again under its own weight. Her Christian forbearance had rarely withstood more demanding tests than today.

‘What do you think of my fine review, my dear?'

He performed a short Irish jig, by way of expressing his own opinion of it.

‘It makes my birthday complete, Alfred,' she said, wanly.

‘Birthday? Was it your birthday? Oh.' He couldn't think what to say. ‘Happy' and ‘Birthday' would have been quite adequate, but they weren't the sort of words he knew.

‘Did you get any presents?' he managed at last.

‘Well, the silks from Julia at breakfast. But that seems a very long time ago now; at least a year or two, I'd say.'

Alfred came close and gazed into her haggard face.

‘You certainly
look
like you've aged a year or two,' he said. ‘It's a good thing you're not coming out. People would feel tired just to look at you!'

Emily smiled. ‘I pray for strength.'

Alfred showed her his hands, turning them from backs to palms to backs again.

‘What do you think?' he asked.

‘Go on,' she said wearily.

‘Your wife has planned some entertainment for us tonight, I believe,' said Julia, meeting Watts on the stairs. ‘I have made a little podium in the drawing room, and a curtain. There is nothing like tableaux vivants to aid digestion.'

Watts was pleased to discover his host in such a good mood, but he didn't like the sound of this entertainment.

‘I hope it will be nothing improper,' he whispered. ‘Ellen once entertained us at Little Holland House, and I can't tell you –'

‘George, please don't worry. We will also ask Mr Fowler to give a demonstration of phreno-magnetism. We will do that while we eat. I always think it absurd to leave all the conversation to the pudding. Astonishingly, my husband has agreed to sit for Mr Fowler. He wants to know whether the Organ of Mirthfulness can be stimulated and held. In which case, he says, I can take pictures of people looking cheerful instead of sad and morbid! Have you ever heard of such a thing?'

Watts tried to make an objection, but Julia loved talking about her husband, and could not be stopped.

‘Charles is always full of mirth, of course, he hardly needs the good man's fingers making it worse. Do you know his favourite jest, George? It concerns a horse entering a hostelry – a horse! – and the tapster inquiring, “Tell me, why do you have such a long face tonight?” He laughs for hours. But I don't think that's so
very
funny, do you, George? Why the long face? Because a horse
has
a long face, I say, it can't help having a long face. But Charles just won't listen once he's away with his laughing.'

She paused for breath.

‘I hate to cast a dour note, Julia,' interjected Watts, ‘But I think we should take care of Mr Fowler. He is hardly the artistic equal of the company tonight. He is a mere showman, after all. He hardly shares our elevated aims. In fact I am surprised you have already included Mr Tennyson in his company twice.'

They stood in the hall now, and Ellen, unseen at the top of the stairs, stopped to listen, when she heard Lorenzo's name.

‘But Mr Fowler is a fine man, George,' exclaimed Julia below. ‘This morning you were talking of asking him to pose as Physical Energy. Your little wife is such an enthusiast too!'

‘But I have learned more of him now,' hissed Watts. ‘And I fear the man may be a positive scoundrel. He is most certainly a purveyor of low ideas which could contaminate our art. As for Ellen's enthusiasm, as you call it, I shall forbid it at once. As you well know, my little wife's ideas are quite low enough already.' And they passed on through to the drawing room, out of Ellen's hearing.

Dismayed, Ellen sat on the top step. She had been told off before, but she had never heard such a hurtful opinion from her husband's lips. Low ideas? Little wife? A tear tumbled down her face. She wanted to drag herself along the ground to hide in a chink in the wall. How could Watts be so cruel? Now she knew how that little cockney sparrow must have felt, when its head got squashed.

Was this her husband's true evaluation of her? Her face dissolved in anguish, as she realized how foolish she had been. She had been living under a massive delusion, no doubt engendered by that damn enormous Hope of hers. For she always thought (stupid!) that she had done Watts a favour by marrying him – that this enormous act of unlikely charity (lovely young woman with dull old man) made him somehow beholden to her. But what nonsense this now appeared. Apparently Watts thought the favour had gone quite the other way. In his eyes, she was not a princess condescending to love him, but a tiresome child to be fathered.

Wretched and weeping, she stood up, gathered her gown and ran to her room, her eyes blind with tears. But almost at once, she heard a crash, and found that her elbow had knocked a vase from a stand, breaking it to fragments. Mary Ryan ran to meet her.

‘Oh madam,' she said kindly, surprised to find Ellen sunk to the floor, sobbing over the pieces. ‘Don't take on. Isn't it only a silly pot that's broken?'

‘If only you knew, Mary. It is more than a pot that's been broken tonight.'

The Irish girl patted her shoulder, and gathered the pieces into her apron. Mrs Watts suddenly seemed like quite a little girl.

‘And what's this? A little key, is it?'

Ellen picked up the key, and sniffed. She looked at it closely, and felt some comfort. She remembered how Watts had posed her once for a drawing of Hope trapped inside Pandora's box, when the lid was slammed and all the bad stuff got out. This key! She had been meant to find this key! She must not despair! She realized they were outside Mr Dodgson's room.

Mary Ryan nudged her. ‘Mr Dodgson has not opened his door all day,' she said. ‘You don't think –?'

‘Mr Dodgson?' Ellen whispered at the door. She put the key in the lock. It fitted!

Downstairs, Julia thought about all that Watts had said. Of course phrenology was not to be bracketed with high art and high poetry, it was probably irreligious, too. But as Watts ought to accept by now (he had mentioned Haydon's ignominy frequently enough), sometimes it was the midget you paid to see at the Egyptian Hall, not the heroic paintings.

‘George, you are unbearably stuffy tonight, and I won't listen to another word.'

‘Stuffy?'

Upstairs they heard a crash, but Julia shrugged. She didn't care.

‘Mr Fowler is my guest this evening. His little girl will eat with my boys and be introduced to us later. Alfred is in the best of spirits, and if we can persuade Mr Dodgson to unlock his door, we will have an evening of exceptional lions! Personally, I can't wait. I just can't wait. And if you'll only be honest about it, George, neither can you.'

Ellen opened Dodgson's door to find, not Hope exactly, but something like it: Mr Dodgson absorbed in some origami. In fact, he was concentrating so hard upon its puzzles and folds that he hardly noticed rescue was finally at hand. On his chair were already grouped the letters shaped meticulously from paper – HELPIAMLOCKE – and he was just finishing the DIN, and considering how to hang them in the window with cotton and safety pins. A captive rarely looked less agitated. In fact, he saw at once that Miss Terry was in far greater distress than himself.

‘Mrs Watts!'

‘Mr Dodgson!'

To his great alarm, she ran to him, embraced him, and sobbed big tears against his chest, which was curiously stiff and ungiving to the cheek, actually; rather like a linen press. Sensing that something was required, Dodgson did not of course embrace the tearful woman, but tapped her on the shoulder a couple of times, as though telling a wrestler to break his hold.