Tess Awakening (20 page)

She pondered her night with Amir. He was a
force of nature, unbelievably skilled in the bedroom, with stamina
that a racehorse would envy. She had never experienced so many
orgasms. Her body needed to recover from an extraordinary
experience.

Yet, she was still afraid of Amir. He was
relentlessly compelled to overcome her resistance, forcing her to
climax even when she did not want to. He put on a performance.

She went to look for Aara and found her
running in the garden giggling, being chased my Amir playing the
ogre. He finally caught her and both fell on the grass, the child
laughing with delight.

Aara saw Tess and rushed into her arms.
“Tess, where were you? We are playing.”

“Sorry, I missed that, sweetheart. I was
packing to leave.”

The child looked at her quizzically. Amir
gestured for the nurse to take the child away. Aara waived her hand
at Tess sadly, not understanding what was happening.

Amir and Tess started walking on a path in
the garden. “Tess, last night was extraordinary; you are everything
I ever wanted. Stay with me.”

Tess was silent for a minute and then looked
Amir in the eye. “Amir, I am leaving and taking Aara with me, as we
agreed.”

“Tess, have I disappointed you in any way?
Wasn’t the lovemaking marvelous?”

“Yes, Amir, you are a wonderful lover, and I
will always remember last night. You are a remarkable man but not
for me. You overwhelm me. You make me feel like a prisoner. I can’t
be your plaything.”

“How can I change? I want to marry you, Tess.
You are the strongest and most amazing woman I have ever met. I
want you to be the mother of my children. I see what you do with
Aara, and I just know that you are very capable of loving children.
Please, Tess, I am willing to do anything for you.”

“I am flattered Amir, but I cannot be your
dutiful wife. You suffocate me, and I don’t think you will ever be
satisfied with any one woman. You are a true Sultan. You will only
be happy with a harem.”

Amir became agitated. “That is not true. You
are more than enough for me. I will give up everyone else. Tess,
don’t do this to me.”

“Amir, I am not equipped to be with you. I
couldn’t handle it. You have complete control over your life and
everyone around it. You are like a black hole, sucking planets down
its vortex. I need to live my life my way.”

“You are giving up a life of privilege with
someone that adores you, and a child that needs you.”

“I am sorry, Amir. I really believe that you
would be better off without me. I will now like to take Aara with
me.”

“Tess, you leave me no choice but to disclose
an important fact to you. Aara is my daughter.”

Tess felt like she was hit by a sledgehammer.
She collapsed on a garden bench, horrified. Instantly she made the
connection. Aara’s huge dark eyes were identical to those of
Fadime. There was no question they reflected the family bloodline.
“You bastard, you set me up!”

“I just did what I had to do to have you in
my life … and Aara’s.”

Tess started to feel her anger surge
uncontrollably. “You have taken everything from me—my dignity, my
sanity, and my self-respect. You have even used your own daughter
as a pawn in a deal that could never be. You are a monster!”

Her despair started to fuel a murderous rage,
building toward an explosion of violence. She wanted to damage
Amir, to hurt him in a way that he would regret every minute they
had spent together. She could not control her furious indignation
and was ready to unleash her warrior ways, to strike the enemy.
Then she saw Aara and the nurse at the far end of the garden.

Tess opened her arms toward her. The child
escaped the clutch of the nurse’s hand and ran toward her, deftly
evading Amir’s attempt to stop her, falling into Tess’s embrace,
laughing.

“Are you going to stay with me, Tess? Are
you?”

Tess clutched the child and could not help a
cry of despair. “I want to be with you, Aara, but I can’t stay
here. I really need to leave.”

“You can’t go, Tess. You must stay with me. I
want you to stay with me!” Now sobbing, Aara held on to Tess
desperately. “Don’t go, Tess.”

Shattered, Tess reluctantly let the girl go,
and Amir picked her up.

Amir tried to console the child, who was now
encircling his neck with her tiny arms, still crying desperately.
“Is this really what you want to do? Do you wish to break this
child’s heart? Do you really want to reject my love?”

“Amir, I really don’t want to hurt anyone any
more than I hurt myself. I love Aara. But I need to go now.

Amir looked at his watch. “The car will take
you to the airport. Take care, Tess.”

She started to walk away until she reached
the house and then turned her gaze back. The child in Amir’s arms
kept looking at her through the tears with haunting, reproachful
eyes. Tess tried to achieve control, finding herself in an
untenable position. She had lost everything.

Chapter 29

The driver took Tess to Heathrow airport in
London. She tried hard to overcome the shock of what had happened,
and now she had regained control of her emotions, knowing that the
driver was observing her. She was still crying inside, feeling like
a failure. Not only she failed to free Aara, but she also gave
herself to a man that she now hated more than ever.

She had also lost Jake. She saw him in her
mind, his cute smile, gentle manner, his sensitivity toward her
impulsive nature and his devotion to her. He had supported her
quest, even though he clearly thought that she was chasing a
chimera, something that is hoped or wished for, but, in fact,
illusory or impossible to achieve. Sadly, he was right. Nothing
turned out as it should have. She had allowed herself to be seduced
and humiliated by Amir, who was deceiving her every step of the
way.

She arrived in Baghdad and was driven to the
Green Zone, the only secure fortified area in the city. Colonel
Reynolds greeted her and brought her up to date. The country was in
shambles. The dissolution of the bureaucracy and the Iraqi Army had
unleashed a vicious insurrection. Looting was rampant throughout
the city and they even ransacked the museums. The U. S. armed
forces did not have anywhere near the troops necessary to restore
order.

Most disturbing, tribal conflict had reared
its ugly head. The Sunnis, suddenly out of power, started to blow
up Shiite mosques. The Shiites retaliated with revenge killings and
bombings of their own. Clerics on both sides incited the faithful
to holy war, and Al Qaeda was now operating in the country,
engaging in indiscriminate killing.

The U. S. and its allies were eager to
establish a local government run by Iraqis but had problems finding
suitable candidates willing to get involved in the maelstrom.

Terror attacks continued relentlessly.
Suicide bombings in Karbala and Baghdad killed worshippers during
the Ashura holy days. An insurgency by the Mahdi Army led by a
radical Shiite cleric was next. Fierce and bloody fighting in Najaf
and Fallujah followed.

Back at the base, the flight line hummed with
aircraft coming and going around the clock. The pilots flew
demanding six- to eight-hour missions in full body armor.

Tess was back in her element. She was anxious
to be in the middle of things, flying through smoke and fire,
shooting at the enemy and doing her job. She was doing what she had
been trained to do, the turbulence of war occupying her all day and
night, enabling her to put the disappointment and heartache
somewhat out her mind. The awful reality of war did not fully
register with her at this time, nor did it matter.

Tess had asked for a transfer to a 58D Kiowa
helicopter, a two-pilot chopper. She immediately started to
coordinate combat and reconnaissance operations.

She preferred the Kiowa over other
helicopters because it offered her a combat role, the aircraft
being used in an armed reconnaissance in support of ground troops.
Plus, it provided greater freedom to maneuver. The chopper carries
Hellfire and 2.75-inch rockets and has a .50-caliber machine gun,
is designed to work with small units such as tanks, Bradley
Fighting Vehicles and infantry platoons. The Kiowa works directly
with ground units in the combined arms fight.

The chopper’s reconnaissance role also
appealed to her. It afforded her more autonomy. She had freedom to
maneuver on the battlefield and pick a target.

She and her co-pilot, Chief Warrant Officer
Carmen Cabrera got to work. They suppressed enemy mortar teams,
called in indirect fire and artillery on buildings or called on the
Air Force to drop bombs on targets they identified.

On one of their flights, Tess and Carmen
detected an insurgent stronghold. Antiaircraft weapons set up by
former Iraqi army air defense officers regularly threatened Army
helicopters. Flying fast over the city, they were at great risk to
be hit by small-arms fire.

As dawn broke over the town’s tortuous
neighborhoods, Tess detected the development of an imminent raid.
She also spotted lookouts on the roof a nearby school. She got that
little tingle in the back of her neck that said something isn’t
right.

On the ground, assaulting U.S. ground troops
started to get ambushed from the school and began taking heavy
casualties. The fire had the GIs pinned down, and medics couldn’t
evacuate the wounded. “Cheetah, we need a gun run south of the
city,” came the radio call.

With Tess at the controls, her Kiowa swooped
in from the south to attack with its machine guns. The aircraft was
breaking away when suddenly it was hit by a barrage of fire. “We’re
taking fire left,” her co-pilot, Carmen, called out. Tess heard the
popping of bullets and felt the helicopter lurch. A round had hit
the fuel cell, igniting it. An alarm bell went off in the
cockpit.

“We’re losing fuel!” Tess said as the Kiowa
started to drop. Carmen thought they were about to crash when at
the last minute the fuel cell sealed itself, as it was designed to
do, keeping them aloft.

Flying low, enduring shakes and rattles from
the damaged aircraft, they made it back to the base. When they
landed, they saw that the fuselage was split. Tess jumped out and
rushed to prepare another aircraft for flight. Ten minutes later,
she and Carmen switched to a Black Hawk with a crew and took off to
resume the combat.

In just a few days, Tess and Carmen had
formed an intuitive mind connection between themselves. They could
read each other’s thoughts, guiding the chopper as one, sensing
danger and maneuvering to escape disaster.

Colonel Reynolds contacted Tess on the radio.
“Major, we have a soldier that is close to death. He has been
severely injured in a mortar attack and medics inside the base in
the center of town believe his only chance of survival is to be
airlifted out for surgery.”

Reynolds was up front and told Tess that he
was facing a dilemma. “I don’t know if we should risk your lives
and those of your crew to save just one soldier.” He left the
decision to her and her crew. “It’s your call. This is dangerous.
There is a risk your chopper could be shot down.”

“We need to get back out there,” Tess said.
“We were going to save a guy’s life.”

Minutes later, the Black Hawk flew low and
fast toward the objective, a small, isolated compound in the heart
of the insurgent stronghold.

The aircraft waved across rooftops to try to
evade surface-to-air missiles. A couple of weeks earlier a
helicopter had been shot down as it flew across a similar part of
the city.

Four mortar bombs exploded close to Tess’s
craft within minutes of landing, peppering its fuselage with
red-hot shrapnel. For those watching on screens at the Command
Center, the casualty extraction seemed to take an eternity.

The helicopter finally rose into the air and
peeled away, firing a volley of flares to ward off incoming
missiles.

Reynolds saw his screen go white from the
intensity of the flash and feared that he had sent his people to
their deaths. Reeling from the horrible moment, he was relieved
when he saw that Tess had pulled off the extraction
successfully.

Upon landing, the wounded soldier was
immediately taken to surgery.

At the debriefing, Colonel Reynolds praised
Tess and her crew. “It was an awesome bit of flying. Due to your
bravery, we sent a message that it is important to rescue even one
single soldier. The soldiers need to know that if they are injured,
we will come and get them out—no matter what.”

Chapter 30

Back to her quarters, exhausted, Tess felt a
little queasy in her stomach and had to lie down until it
passed.

Carmen noticed that Tess was not feeling
well. “What’s up, boss? Are you okay?”

“I am fine, Carmen. I think I am letting the
stress get to me. I am not happy about it.”

“I can understand that. Here is a glass of
water. Now, try to relax and take a nap.”

Tess tried to get some rest, but in her
sleep, she was plagued by regrets. She kept seeing Aara’s sad black
eyes looking at her when she was taken away by the nurse. She saw
herself running away in a dark place, trying to evade Amir, who
chased her on a black horse. She looked for Jake to take her in his
arms, laughing in joy. Instead, Jake invariably walked away.

Waking up in a sweat, she got herself
together and threw herself into new missions. She flew more
dangerous sorties, firing her weapons against the enemy, warning
other units of dangers, trying to suppress her demons with noise,
bullets, and blood.

Tess and CWO Cabrera again received
compliments for their skill, courage, and determination. When the
troops on the ground heard the women’s call signs, they were
assured of competent support. The pilots brought firepower to bear
when they needed it. They also knew that the women never hesitated
to risk their lives to pick up the wounded in the middle of
battle.